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Sex against the fence...

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The husband leans over and asks his wife, 'Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind this very tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.'

'Yes', she says, 'I remember it well.'

'OK,' he says, 'How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?' 'Oh Charlie, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!'

A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them.

The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence. The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.

The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know.

After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on.

The policeman is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing . I've got to ask them what their secret is.

So, as the couple passes, he says to them,' Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?'

Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply, 'Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence.'

:laugh:

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@ The Mall.

Dad and I were at the mall the other day. After a while we decided to get a bite to eat. Noticed he was watching a Punk next to him. The guy had spiked hair in all different colors. Green, red, Orange, and blue. Dad kept staring at him. The teenager would look and find him staring every time.

When the teenager had enough, he sarcastically asked, What's the matter Old Man, never done anythin wild in your Life.'

Knowing Dad's style, quickly swallowed, cleared my mouth, so that I wouldn't choke on his response.

And so, in Classic clean dry w/ out a bat of an Eye, 'Got Drunk once and fcuked a Peacock. Just wondering if you were my Son.

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An old lady enters a lift in a posh department store. A couple of floors up she is joined by two young arrogant girls.

"Romance by Ralph Lauren" £80 a bottle says the first, "Thats fuck all, i'm wearing Chanel No.5 - £110 a bottle" says the other, looking the elderly lady up and down.

Just as the lift door open, as the old lady steps out she says, "Thats brussel sprouts, 25p a pound in Tescos..."

Then the doors close.

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Steve One wrote: An old lady enters a lift in a posh department store. A couple of floors up she is joined by two young arrogant girls.

"Romance by Ralph Lauren" £80 a bottle says the first, "Thats fuck all, i'm wearing Chanel No.5 - £110 a bottle" says the other, looking the elderly lady up and down.

Just as the lift door open, as the old lady steps out she says, "Thats brussel sprouts, 25p a pound in Tescos..."

Then the doors close.

Bleeding hell, I had to think for a while about this, until I realised it was about smells! :p

:smoking:

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:laugh: What time did you wake up today Nick?

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I peed on an electric fence once...

it was shocking...

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Chris Nash wrote: :laugh: What time did you wake up today Nick?

About 11'ish! :lol: :smoking:

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:clap: :laugh:

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I need to connect electricity (220 volts!) to my fence so there would be no fuckers leaning against my dear fence!

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