questions that keep you up at night

if neil young had been through the desert on a horse with no name, surely he had time to name the damn horse?

The only question that has been keeping me awake at night recently is "why?". And I still don't know.

I always thought it meant that he didn't want to name the horse in case he got attached to it, then couln't eat it when he had to.

It's harder to eat something once you've given it a name.

Reverend Big wrote: I always thought it meant that he didn't want to name the horse in case he got attached to it, then couln't eat it when he had to.

It's harder to eat something once you've given it a name.

That's true. I have a pet name - "Nigel" - for that little bit of skin between Liam's arse and his ball bag.

NOSH!

Tim wrote: "why?".

why not?

PETER COATES'S BELATED REDEMPTION wrote:

Reverend Big wrote:

It's harder to eat something once you've given it a name.

That's true. I have a pet name - "Nigel" - for that little bit of skin between Liam's arse and his ball bag.

Now there's a question that's going to keep me up tonight. How could anyone possibly find it harder to eat Liam's Noel Edmonds than I would?

I would expect that to be harder than Chinese arithmetic.

I worry how the man who drives a snowplow gets to work, it can keep me awake for hours!

thankyou Billy Connolly

Ive been thinking all day about telling Jem that its her move at scrabulous...

She won't play with me any more.

Reverend Big wrote: She won't play with me any more.

Just give her a wee bit of a nibble round her old Noel Edmonds and she'll be back....

Mark my words.

Reverend Big wrote: She won't play with me any more.

speaking of folk taking their turns...

will tomorrow be the day i finally end up on the streets?

If orbital velocity is generally in the regional of 70% of escape velocity (for a given distance from the centre of mass), and the escape velocity at the event horizon of a black hole is C......then can you orbit at 0.7C there, and at say .8 or .9 at some point INSIDE the event horizon, and if so, could you slingshot your way out without violating Einstein (though he does love to be violated, especially with the egg whisk).

Well tonight i'll probably be asking why i spent £70 today on a 500GB external hard drive to store all my movies, music and pictures on when i could just have backed em all up on to less than 10 blank DVD discs for about £5.

That and how is Evangeline Lilly so impossibly beautiful?

johnny wrote: Well tonight i'll probably be asking why i spent £70 today on a 500GB external hard drive to store all my movies, music and pictures on when i could just have backed em all up on to less than 10 blank DVD discs for about £5.

That and how is Evangeline Lilly so impossibly beautiful?

You will understand the next time you wanna watch something off them!

Pretty much filled four of them now, gonna have to get another couple for the house, and a 750 or 1TB for the laptop bag.

Doctor? wrote:

johnny wrote: Well tonight i'll probably be asking why i spent £70 today on a 500GB external hard drive to store all my movies, music and pictures on when i could just have backed em all up on to less than 10 blank DVD discs for about £5.

That and how is Evangeline Lilly so impossibly beautiful?

You will understand the next time you wanna watch something off them!

Pretty much filled four of them now, gonna have to get another couple for the house, and a 750 or 1TB for the laptop bag.

But i don't have a Tardis full of stuff to store like you Doc:)

Nah yer probs right.The various discs will inevitably end up lost and scattered all around the house and when i come to watch a film i won't be able to find the fcuker.Better to ave em all on the external , no worries then.Bought that one James Thomas and you reccomended a while back.Freecom jobby.Cheers

When will I, will I be famous?

Snorri xxx

Jeffari-al-Texani wrote:

Snorrimon wrote: When will I, will I be famous?

Snorri xxx

You are already a fucking legend...

or is that a fucking bell end???

Jeff, I keep telling you: leave my bell-end out of it...

Snorri xxx

johnny wrote:

Doctor? wrote:

johnny wrote: Well tonight i'll probably be asking why i spent £70 today on a 500GB external hard drive to store all my movies, music and pictures on when i could just have backed em all up on to less than 10 blank DVD discs for about £5.

That and how is Evangeline Lilly so impossibly beautiful?

You will understand the next time you wanna watch something off them!

Pretty much filled four of them now, gonna have to get another couple for the house, and a 750 or 1TB for the laptop bag.

But i don't have a Tardis full of stuff to store like you Doc:)

Nah yer probs right.The various discs will inevitably end up lost and scattered all around the house and when i come to watch a film i won't be able to find the fcuker.Better to ave em all on the external , no worries then.Bought that one James Thomas and you reccomended a while back.Freecom jobby.Cheers

Not just a matter of losing discs, I spent ages cataloging mine using a proggy called gwhere, all discs just numbers, so I would search for "python" and wham, up would come all the discs with some monty python, which I could then find in my case as they were stoed numerically (I know what you're thinking, total anal geek, but such tidy efforts are a VERY rare thing in my life, I usually act like Sherlock Holmes, deducing what's on one of 700 identical TDK D90's by the position of cracks and amount of smeg on the case.)

BUT, what you lose with individual dvd's even if catalogued is the "browsing for summat to watch when bored" approach. if you stick a disc in, watch a bit of something and have secon thoughts, you have to go through finding and swapping in a new disc (pain in hole with DVD drives and their OBSESSIVE calibration for every fucking disc). With it all on HD, you can browse away in peace.

As for my hording, well.....I realised the other day that I still have files on my AMD64 5600+ with 4GB of mem and 1.5TB of disc and a videocard faster than god....that were created on the day, in 2000, when I got my first PC....a PII-233, with 64MB of Ram, 2x2GB HD's and a voodoo-I.

AgentWood wrote: if neil young had been through the desert on a horse with no name, surely he had time to name the damn horse?

You've been keeping yourself up at night with a trick question-- Neil Young didn't write, record, or perform it.

You can get some sleep now.

Why, after spending £70 on food at Tescos this afternoon do my fridge , freezer and cupboards still look empty?

johnny wrote: Why, after spending £70 on food at Tescos this afternoon do my fridge , freezer and cupboards still look empty?

get a smaller fridge johnny,maybe one of them mini fridges for caravans

johnny wrote: Why, after spending £70 on food at Tescos this afternoon do my fridge , freezer and cupboards still look empty?

Buy more pot noodles, super noodles and stuff that is grab-and-eat, in my experience, a kitchen stocked for a medieval banquet looks bear if there's fuck all to just shove in yer nosebag.

EDIT: in fact, even better if it COMES in a microwavable tear-to-open nosebag.

Here's one that bugs me......

Veggies (mainly) decline meat as they feel it is wrong to hurt animals for food. Plants ALSO show physical reactions to damage/assault, which in the absence of vocalisation is as close to proof that they experience some form of pain, as you will find without using strange machines from Tales of the Unexpected. AND on top of that, an animal can bite, claw, kick, sting, or just plain run away, so in what way is eating them worse than eating something that has no means at all of personal defence.

And, can "terrorism" be precisely defined in any way which diferentiates between say, the IRA and the British military, or the US and the Taliban (just examples, in general I mean "good guys" and "bad guys"), WITHOUT introducing silly clauses like "if we do it it's not terrorism".

And how can this statement made at nuremburg suddenly no longer apply? "To initiate a war of aggression, therefore, is not only an international crime; it is the supreme international crime differing only from other war crimes in that it contains within itself the accumulated evil of the whole."

Is a red Buick convertible red if you bury it in the ground?

EdelBrock wrote: Is a red Buick convertible red if you bury it in the ground?

Is it EVER red? What if it's under blue spotlights?

(actually, I just bought a blue LED lamp (21 leds), and it's got SUCH a narrow spectrum, it's genuinely disorientating)

OOOOOOOOH, here's one I REALLY REALLLLLLLY boggle about.......

What happens, when on lap 100 of the Indy500, or at 5am at Le Mans, or heading up massinet towards Casino square in Monte Carlo at 185mph, 2/3's of the way through the Grand Prix, that you are leading..........when your balls itch?

I mean I KNOW, that, at least in an F1 car (and proably CART and IRL too), your bollox and ringpiece are 1" from the road and the points of loading for any transmitted shock, but it would seem a tad over zealous to seek out one of Monte Carlo's excrutiating manhole covers just to scratch them.

FFS even in a GT/LeMans/Tourer/Nazzer,WRC where you CAN take your paws off the wheel for 2ms, there's a fucking huge crotch belt betwixed the irritated scrotal condition and it's autodigital treatment.

I do recall this FABULOUS exchange from the Hungaroring Qually in 1998......

Walker:"poor old Heinz Harold Frenzten's racing with a terrible tummy upset today, do you think that will affect him much Martin?" Brundle:"It can sap your strength a bit, but he'll be fine as long as the brown flag doesn't come out"

That reminds me, once (in my racing days) I was 5 days constipated. Went on this trip for a race in San Fransisco and ate this pizza with 3 inch thick cheese (which really did me in). Did the 5 mile race 2 days constipated (ran the slowest I ever did in my life.. came in 132 out of 140, I think)... then we went to Yosemite National Park... (interesting note: national parks do not sell laxatives)... simply remedies like bran and prunes weren't working....

came home finally and took some laxatives.... talk about relief...

but the question I had, how long would I have lasted like that naturally... or would I have died naturally without laxative medicines?

Shug wrote:

PETER COATES'S BELATED REDEMPTION wrote:

Reverend Big wrote: She won't play with me any more.

Just give her a wee bit of a nibble round her old Noel Edmonds and she'll be back....

Mark my words.

Noel Edmonds is a cock.

Just what are you insinuating here Fradders?

Noel Edmonds

Tim wrote: The only question that has been keeping me awake at night recently is "why?". And I still don't know.

This is the only question mankind has not found an answer yet. Number 6 said that to Number 2 when he succeeded to destroy the mighty computer of the Village.

Jeffari-al-Texani wrote: What do French people call:

French Fries French Toast French Kissing French Dressing French Manicures

Interesting ideas.

Why a French letter is a capote anglaise ? Why a French leave is to filer à l'anglaise ?

Jiphy wrote:

Tim wrote: The only question that has been keeping me awake at night recently is "why?". And I still don't know.

This is the only question mankind has not found an answer yet. Number 6 said that to Number 2 when he succeeded to destroy the mighty computer of the Village.

WHEN WAS THE TREATY OF ADRIANOPOL!!!!!!

who is the bigger tool, George W Bush or Tony Blair??

OR-how the hell did W get elected president TWICE!!!!!

BonoShed wrote: OR-how the hell did W get elected president TWICE!!!!!

Why bother?

how much longer till i drop dead?

What the hell was that noise ? !

can i awake before LUNCH?

Never mind that, who's MOSSY?

Will I wake up in time tomorrow ?

Doctor? wrote: If orbital velocity is generally in the regional of 70% of escape velocity (for a given distance from the centre of mass), and the escape velocity at the event horizon of a black hole is C......then can you orbit at 0.7C there, and at say .8 or .9 at some point INSIDE the event horizon, and if so, could you slingshot your way out without violating Einstein (though he does love to be violated, especially with the egg whisk).

i have read schroedingers kittens, but what in the hell are you talking about? lol.

Why does Jesus really love me so damn much?

Should I have really procrastinated to have fun, as I'll surely be screwed tommorrow?!

Comrade Shampanyov wrote:

AgentWood wrote: if neil young had been through the desert on a horse with no name, surely he had time to name the damn horse?

You've been keeping yourself up at night with a trick question-- Neil Young didn't write, record, or perform it.

You can get some sleep now.

i'll be damned. you're right! i could have sworn neil young was in america. well, i feel much better about him now, knowing he didn't sing or write that piece of sh*t.

.la la la la la la

Will March and April ever arrive ? Will I ever feel something above the temperature zero ? Will grass grow again ? How do birds survive ?

YES YES YES The don't attempt to write poetry in MOTION then release a crap football song about it!

This is really one for the ASK ROCKET thread, but I can't find it (has someone locked it in the Shed?), so here will do...

What's the difference between dust and fluff?

Snorri xxx

Snorrimon wrote: This is really one for the ASK ROCKET thread, but I can't find it (has someone locked it in the Shed?), so here will do...

What's the difference between dust and fluff?

Snorri xxx

DUST is very nasty to get rid of and usally made up of dead skin cells in the home! FLUFF was a brilliant DJ. Glad to have been of service.I asked for the ASK ROCKET to be made UNSTICKY but it was DELETED.Even better.

AgentWood wrote:

Comrade Shampanyov wrote:

AgentWood wrote: if neil young had been through the desert on a horse with no name, surely he had time to name the damn horse?

You've been keeping yourself up at night with a trick question-- Neil Young didn't write, record, or perform it.

You can get some sleep now.

i'll be damned. you're right! i could have sworn neil young was in america. well, i feel much better about him now, knowing he didn't sing or write that piece of sh*t.

Well, he did support the USA Patriot Act...

But he also released Living With War.

what? when? where? who? how?

Chris Nash wrote: Who puts the holes in the ring doughnuts and what do they do with the middle bits?

I really do stay up all night wondering...

theres a prog on discovery called how it's made,shows how they are made you'l have to watch it and find out!

Day off tomorrow ?

Oh, yep,yep yep....

Do I have enough coffee and orange juice ?

Does Ron really wear stilleto boots?

should you listen to your head your heart or your naughty bits?

Is a man ever worth losing my heart to?

Trans-Brokenhearted Express wrote: Is a man ever worth losing my heart to?

no. there you go petal, you can sleep easy now. chin up, they're all twats, you're well rid x

am i doing the right thing?