Could really be in Gary's accident thread but I think it deserves it's own.
Given 50 minutes to produce a meal some bloke promptly chopped the end of his thumb off!
Priceless.
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Masterchef's greatest moment
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PETER COATES'S BELATED REDEMPTION wrote: That Vic and Bob sketch is actually more like humanity's greatest moment, IMHO.
A good excuse for some random,gratuitous,fucking hilarious..Vic and Bob
that irish guy was great the other week who got to the last 3 and for his main course cooked the hell out of a pork chop and stuck some chilli sauce from a bottle on it
genius
this series, up to now anyway, top numpty award is between the aforementioned thumb lopper and the fella who served up a plate containing a half eaten carrot, you could make out the pattern of his teeth on said veg. Torode's face was a fookin picture.
I reckon goatee beard,Harley riding ex engineer middle aged bloke is looking the strongest ( won quarter final w/e 22/01/09 )
as long as the grocer don't back him that is, Torode rides over the grocers input on a regular basis so if the grocer likes you; time to pack up yer wok
fortunately i'm working when this food porn shite is on. the worst bit is when they (Torode and Wallace) test the victims food with MASSSIVE fork-loads of trough going into their gobs. frankly who eats like that? if i saw anyone i know chowing-down on grub and i could see their fillings and tonsils, i would smack them. end of.
Is it just me, or wouldn't working in a 'Pro Kitchen' put you off yer chef-dreams for life? What a facking shit job to have. They're treated like kids and they're working in cramped and hot conditions doing the same thing over and over and over again.
Gregg Wallace is apparently a reformed womaniser and ex-Millwall Bushwacker! It was in the News of the Screws, so it must be true.
Come Dine With Me is where it's at now! Last week's stint in Preston was proper car-crash telly. This week's in Ipswich is brewing up to be half as good -- some bird getting the right hump for being referred to as a 'thin Fern Britton' and marking her host 3 out of 10 for her 'insults'. What the fcuk is wrong with Fern Britton??!
El Jarvo wrote: Is it just me, or wouldn't working in a 'Pro Kitchen' put you off yer chef-dreams for life? What a facking shit job to have. They're treated like kids and they're working in cramped and hot conditions doing the same thing over and over and over again.
it's strange that they think the half day in a professional kitchen is a true indication of what's to come, no mention of a sixteen hour day, most of them leave the lunch service buzzing; however would they still be as keen after a 96 hour week?
Love to see a follow up wherein the now jaded would be chefs, with dark rings around their eyes, oven burns to their forearms, terrible oily skin, criss-crosses of cuts to their fingers and hands, hands that tremble and shake cos of exhaustion and/or drink, banging fuckin headaches, and a strange lack of appetite are told to make the Grocer and Torode a little meal cos cooking dont get tougher than this AND then practicaly beg to have their old lives back. Reality indeed
Cannot stand the way British telly has gone regarding "celeb" chefs.
They're all wankers without exception and especially Ramsay who I'm waiting with baited breath for one of his abused underlings to lose it and give him the hiding of a lifetime with a frying pan on camera.
Come Dine With Me is good though, doesn't take itself too seriously.
Did anyone see the Scotch one? Talk about stereotypes... The rotund chinese bird's idea of getting ready for her evening was rolling a deodorant under her t shirt.
Classy 
El Jarvo wrote:
Come Dine With Me is where it's at now! Last week's stint in Preston was proper car-crash telly. This week's in Ipswich is brewing up to be half as good -- some bird getting the right hump for being referred to as a 'thin Fern Britton' and marking her host 3 out of 10 for her 'insults'. What the fcuk is wrong with Fern Britton??!
Last week's was class! Val and her draaawn ouuut woooooords. Apparently, the other bird (the one that kept falling asleep) is currently in a spot of bother with the rozzers after crashing into two parked cars whilst tired and emotional...
Old Blue wrote:
El Jarvo wrote:
Come Dine With Me is where it's at now! Last week's stint in Preston was proper car-crash telly. This week's in Ipswich is brewing up to be half as good -- some bird getting the right hump for being referred to as a 'thin Fern Britton' and marking her host 3 out of 10 for her 'insults'. What the fcuk is wrong with Fern Britton??!
Apparently, the other bird (the one that kept falling asleep) is currently in a spot of bother with the rozzers after crashing into two parked cars whilst tired and emotional...
She was Missy Jem, weren't she? 
Reet Norvern.
Burt Reynolds wrote: pfffttt.. aww Col, I was going to put that one up. Beat me to it.
Same ere. Used to freak me out that Vic n Bob Masterchef skit
