Spicing up our sex life....

Since the birth of the baby,life in the bedroom dept has been a bit quiet for us,so unbeknown to me the mrs had been to an Anne Summers party with her mates and gotten themselves some sexy gear,face masks,leather basque,stockings and knee high leather boots,her mates had already wore them for thier men,and,to put it mildly,got pumped fucking silly by them,so's i got in from work last night (kids had been shipped up to grannies) and there she is kitted out in aforementioned black gear,i walked in,looked at her,patted her on the arse and said...

"Alright Batman,whats for dinner?"

Thats what prozzies are for. Filling in until the s/o is back up to standard.

Gazman wrote: Since the birth of the baby,life in the bedroom dept has been a bit quiet for us,so unbeknown to me the mrs had been to an Anne Summers party with her mates and gotten themselves some sexy gear,face masks,leather basque,stockings and knee high leather boots,her mates had already wore them for thier men,and,to put it mildly,got pumped fucking silly by them,so's i got in from work last night (kids had been shipped up to grannies) and there she is kitted out in aforementioned black gear,i walked in,looked at her,patted her on the arse and said...

"Alright Batman,whats for dinner?"

You ARE Rab C. Nesbitt and I claim my £40

How long did it take to have them sewn back on?

Doctor? wrote:

Gazman wrote: Since the birth of the baby,life in the bedroom dept has been a bit quiet for us,so unbeknown to me the mrs had been to an Anne Summers party with her mates and gotten themselves some sexy gear,face masks,leather basque,stockings and knee high leather boots,her mates had already wore them for thier men,and,to put it mildly,got pumped fucking silly by them,so's i got in from work last night (kids had been shipped up to grannies) and there she is kitted out in aforementioned black gear,i walked in,looked at her,patted her on the arse and said...

"Alright Batman,whats for dinner?"

You ARE Rab C. Nesbitt and I claim my £40

How long did it take to have them sewn back on?

No need for needles and thread Steve,

though im now the proud owner of 3 Adams apples!

I'd like to think you're Sumo trained and can draw the little buggers up there to protect 'em.....but I rather fear that kitchen surgery (possibly using a butter knife, possibly just claws) was the reason.

Still, there's a lot of opera written for the castrato register, and very few (exactly 0 give or take whacko jacko) castrati to sing 'em....gotta be good money in it.

What you need is cumin, chilli powder and a pinch of cayenne.

Ravi Kumar wrote: Thats what prozzies are for. Filling in until the s/o is back up to standard.

What's the s/o, Andy?

Gazman wrote:

"Alright Batman,whats for dinner?"

:D

Diamond 383 wrote:

Ravi Kumar wrote: Thats what prozzies are for. Filling in until the s/o is back up to standard.

What's the s/o, Andy?

In your case? Located just below the right wrist.

Gazman wrote: Since the birth of the baby,life in the bedroom dept has been a bit quiet for us,so unbeknown to me the mrs had been to an Anne Summers party with her mates and gotten themselves some sexy gear,face masks,leather basque,stockings and knee high leather boots,her mates had already wore them for thier men,and,to put it mildly,got pumped fucking silly by them,so's i got in from work last night (kids had been shipped up to grannies) and there she is kitted out in aforementioned black gear,i walked in,looked at her,patted her on the arse and said...

"Alright Batman,whats for dinner?"

now if I could start the morning reading a thread that starts as funny as this every day, it'd probably add a few years to my life brilliant

From an old episode:

Robin: "I am a little hungry." Batman: "Of course, Robin. Even crime-fighters must eat. And especially you. You're a growing boy and you need your nutrition."

The mrs seen this last night and asked..

"I never looked like Batman...did I?"

The Guardian has a piece about how the over 40s are now enjoying sex a lot more since 'they' started taking lovers.

I am sure this says more about the recent editorial direction of the Guardian than the actual increase in the number of "40-somethings" to partake in extra-marital unnecessariness and I will be writing a sternly-worded email to the editor this afternoon.

EDIT: I won't, in fact, be emailing anyone. That was a joke.

Gazman wrote: The mrs seen this last night and asked..

"I never looked like Batman...did I?"

Main question is: did the gear she wore work for u? did she reach her goals?

Martijn wrote:

Gazman wrote: The mrs seen this last night and asked..

"I never looked like Batman...did I?"

Main question is: did the gear she wore work for u? did she reach her goals?

I had to make my own dinner,if thats what ye mean

Gazman wrote:

Martijn wrote:

Gazman wrote: The mrs seen this last night and asked..

"I never looked like Batman...did I?"

Main question is: did the gear she wore work for u? did she reach her goals?

I had to make my own dinner,if thats what ye mean

She didn't even use the bat-wave to nuke up the food, then the batarang to retrieve it for ya?

Sounds like she's a fake to me...

JHC

CLASSIC:D

I remember my first wife brought home some chocolate body paint to put in a bit of spice......and I fooking ate it!