Jehovas witness's

Had them at the door tonight,again...

They came to the door a few weeks ago,usually id tell the geeky chunts to "beat it",but this time it was a rather attractive young lady,and the gentleman in me wouldnt let me be rude to her,so we chatted for about 5 mins and i took one of her magazines from her. Big mistake

The door goes earlier,the mrs answered,theres this attractive young lady again,this time shes got a short skirt,and low cut vest top on, "Hi there" she says to mrs G,"is Gary in?..."

Cue daggers...

She only wanted to give me this months issue of 'Watchtower'

It's called flirty fishing. A popular tactic used by cults and sects. Still,short skirt and low cut top..........i'd fall for it.

i quite like them but i couldnt manage a whole one

In America all I ever see is when they send around two younger men dressed nice in a white shirt with a tie. Often an bikes. Don't know where they come from, don't know who they are, don't know what happens to them.

The people I've met through work who are Witness's are quite ignorant in many ways, not really insulting them, just that it seems to attract adults who know less than the average 12 year old. The religion empowers them with knowledge without actually teaching them anything.

So what is the secret of this cult? Somebody must know.

On a side note, has anyone ever seen a Gideon? You see their bibles in hotel room draws, but have you ever seen them? :)

(Yes, I know it's a Bill Hicks joke, but he's bloody right)!

0_o wrote: In America all I ever see is when they send around two younger men dressed nice in a white shirt with a tie. Often an bikes. Don't know where they come from, don't know who they are, don't know what happens to them.

Mormon missionaries.

isaac wrote: It's called flirty fishing. A popular tactic used by cults and sects. Still,short skirt and low cut top..........i'd fall for it.

No doubt she'll be back in a few weeks,

I'll point her in yer direction

Yeah, two blokes on bikes with backpacks and shirts/ties=mormons. We began a counter attack on them. About 5 of my mates and I swore, and repeatedly kept our oath, that upon being approached by these loons, we would utter the following, word for word........

"Before you go any further, I wish you to know that I wholeheartedly and completely believe only in a giant worm called Nosebeast, who orbits the Earth and defends it from all harm. As such,your religion and many others are utterly meaningless to me. I bid you good day".

I'd LOVE to be a fly on the wall in the tabernacle......"wow, this guy started babling about "nose worms" or something the other day"......from that back...."was it a worm called nose something....some guy told me about that" from all around "hey me too!".........muuuuuuhahahahahah.

We also scared the witnesses away via fair means and foul, so that they left us alone for about 3 years.

As for flirty fishing.....how come it's only the minor cults who go for that, whereas the big ones seem to go for habbits and burkhas?

When I was in college, we had a problem with these guys pounding on door constantly. I had a roommate at the time that was into dark goth type stuff and had a leather-bound book with a silver pentagram on the front. For fun, I grabbed the book and held it behind my back as I listened to the JW, and the said, "We would like to talk to you about our religon" To which I replied, "well I would like to talk to you about mine" as I lifted the book. You should have seen the look of horror on their faces. They ran out of there and I never saw them again.

years ago mrs order and i were baby sitting the inlaws house,, and They knocked on the door spouting it all ,, yea man realy interested , but gotta go out.. pleeesae come back ,, they did so we hid behind the sofa,,,

then,,,, they came back again when the inlaws returned from hols... weve come to see the young couple that live here,, no young couple here,,, but, but we were here a couple of weeks ago and, and,,,, no ,no young man you must be mistaken weve lived here for years,,,,the look on there faces

Iwas touched by the hand of God

Nick King wrote: On a side note, has anyone ever seen a Gideon? You see their bibles in hotel room draws, but have you ever seen them? :)

(Yes, I know it's a Bill Hicks joke, but he's bloody right)!

I saw one, fifteen years ago. He came into school, and explained why they put Bibles in hotels. Cant remember the exact reason though.

Must say, when the internet isnt working in the hotel, its quite handy having a bible to hand!

The Teacher wrote:

Nick King wrote: On a side note, has anyone ever seen a Gideon? You see their bibles in hotel room draws, but have you ever seen them? :)

(Yes, I know it's a Bill Hicks joke, but he's bloody right)!

I saw one, fifteen years ago. He came into school, and explained why they put Bibles in hotels. Cant remember the exact reason though.

Must say, when the internet isnt working in the hotel, its quite handy having a bible to hand!

there is always the pay tv channels liam

Pretty handy when there's no skins!

Yes a Gideon came to our school, told us why, I also failed to waste the storage on remembering.

BTW Edel: I think you've studied my "lessons on how to scare (and potentially scar) JW's for life" lecture.

Over here, I think it was several years ago that this happened---but there was this Japanese woman that refused a blood transfusion for her child (she was a Jehovah's Witness).

But the major unions and groups regarding doctors all agreed that if the child is under 15, even if the child and/or their parents are Jehovah's Witnesses, people cannot refuse blood transfusions in the name of their religious beliefs.

So in other words, if you're an over 15-yr old Jehovah's witness in Japan, and you refuse a blood transfusion and die from whatever you have, then the Japanese government and doctors won't take responsibility for your actions.

If you're under 15, then the doctors have the obligation to give the child a blood transfusion no matter what their religious parents say.

I don't know why the age limit for that was set at 15, but I think it's foolish for a religion (if it can be called that) to make people refuse blood transfusions.

I once got really stoned in a hotel in Wales and sat up all night making notes in the margins of a Gideon. I wish I'd kept it, I remember some of it being quite funny. I often wonder what became of it.

Of course now I am a man and I have put childish ways behind me

When I get unwanted callers at the door (or even telephone calls/emails etc.....)..................

Jehovas and anyone remotely religious, I tell them I am an atheist.

Mortgages/Loans/credit cards, I tell them I am a bankrupt.

Anything to do with house repairs/improvements, I tell them it isn't my house.

Penis Enlargement pills, I tell them I don't have one, nor have any need for one, but I do know one or two.

Works for me

The only way to stop a J.W from knocking on your door is to tell them that your a catholic. You'll never hear from them again. Guaranteed.

There's a sign in my door that I left up after I bought my house almost 8 years ago.

The sign basically asks salesmen/gypsies/religious nuts, etc to please not ring or knock.

Its seems none of these can read, as they still continue to interfere with my 'me time'. Usually just as I'm showering or cooking dinner.

The worst is the PVCu Salesmen. I had my house done years ago but they still knock, to check I've not just had the front done!!

isaac wrote: The only way to stop a J.W from knocking on your door is to tell them that your a catholic. You'll never hear from them again. Guaranteed.

Incorrect.

The way to send JWs fleeing from your doorstep is to tell them that you are Christadelphian. That really fucks them up as Christas don't believe in hell and they believe that they are trying to trick them.

i pretty much tell them satan is in my television and is going to follow them home if they don't leave within the next minute.

Missy Jem wrote:

Its seems none of these can read, as they still continue to interfere with my 'me time'. Usually just as I'm showering or cooking dinner.

Maybe its not religon their really trying to sell ya

isaac wrote: The only way to stop a J.W from knocking on your door is to tell them that your a catholic. You'll never hear from them again. Guaranteed.

I am as well!

I see a lot more Witnesses here now than I've ever before in my life. I think it's to do with living in a historically black neighborhood (moved 6 months ago from Chinatown), and for some reason in this area at least all the Witnesses are black.

Anyway, I live on the 3rd floor of a walkup. It is a little annoying to walk all the way downstairs to find someone is trying to convert me. When I've seen them down the street though, I just tell them that I am on my way back from Mass at St. Pat's. I normally get a God Bless You and a smile and leave.

They must think I'm the most Church going white person in the neighborhood, because I basically say it ALL THE FUCKING TIME.

I knocked up a JW five years ago. Thankfully it ended in a miscarriage.

I'm only posting this because nobody I know visits this forum.

Aries wrote: I knocked up a JW five years ago.

Do go on....

Oooooooh if only the future had come true, your trusty robot pal could have waved his arms and yelled "danger, danger".

There are some places that it's just not worth putting your dick, and inside a religious headcase is somewhere near a shark's mouth on the list.

Doctor? wrote:

There are some places that it's just not worth putting your dick, and inside a religious headcase is somewhere near a shark's mouth on the list.

You've no seen the one that was at my door Steve

You would

El Jarvo wrote: I was mooching down Jermyn Street on Monday, when I heard an almighty racket coming down the street behind me, over me earphones.

Hari Krishnas.

They were coming down the road on two tuc-tucs, one of which had a trailer pulled behind it with a drummer positioned on it!

And the song they were playing?

"Pretty Vacant" by the Pistols!

Obviously raising their game to appeal to da yoot (or maybe ageing punks who've given up the will to live!)

......at Glastonbury last year after ..ahem.....some tea of the mushroom variety..........I stumbled into the Hari Krishna tent: .........talk about hypnotized.....they played the same track for about 7 hours...... .....nice bunch though.....and very patient......as I sat lecturing them about Noseworms......... .......and free grub.....very cool.......could life really be that chilled all the time: