Michael Jackson reported dead

banshee wrote: the tickets for o2 arena might be worth more one day then you'd get sending them back,didnt colin buy a couple ? only 6 albums in 30 years. even new order beat that!! or beat it

Any VIP tickets have now been upgraded to RIP.

it looks like it may not be a heart attack but he did trip over a pram, it is not known if this was fatal, doctors are saying it may be too early to blame it on the buggy

banshee wrote: didnt colin buy a couple ?

No.

Forget about what was proven in court; the things he said about little boys himself in that interview were bizarre enough.

I always felt a bit sad about MJ, to be honest. From an early age us normal people have been guided by our families and our mates and most of us have this to thank for the fact that we're not completely weird.

Jackson seemed to me to have been raised entirely without benefiting from that process. Nobody ever said "stop that" to him and as a result he had not developed any proper moral, social, emotional or financial acumen. He hid like a child behind excuses which he felt should legitimise his mad behaviour and surrounded himself with yes-men who insulated him from the consequences of what he'd done. His later work reflected this and was crap as a result.

I thought he was horrible. I'd have thrown him in jail for interfering with witnesses, never mind the offences themselves. But I also think it's a shame that the people who I think share the blame, the people who protected him and facilitated his madness, as well as those who profited from it, will not be called to account.

A sad life.

I for one am going to have Freebass's "Stalingrad" on 24-hour repeat today.

In tribute, like.

PETER COATES'S BELATED REDEMPTION wrote: I for one am going to have Freebass's "Stalingrad" on 24-hour repeat today.

In tribute, like.

Better RED than DEAD!

Diamond 383 wrote:

banshee wrote: didnt colin buy a couple ?

No.

i stand corrected,sorry about that.i think it was some other o2 arena gig.

Dear All,

I already have Dead Jacko fatigue and tire of these wearisome jokes. In the interests of product differentiation and diversification, can we please have some humorously obscene observations on, say, Farrah Fawcett's botched labiaplasty instead?

Yours,

Bored as a Cunt of Stoke.

Martin Bashir interview, in which he puts those naughty rumours to bed:

You Tube Link

And here he speaks lovingly about his "own" children:

Another You Tube Link

Bless him.

News at Ten was like one long obituary. Easily a dozen or so deaths in one bulletin.

Amy Winehouse will be next i reckon.

Reg wrote:

Amy Winehouse will be next i reckon.

Lady Thatcher more likely.

Old Blue wrote:

Reg wrote:

Amy Winehouse will be next i reckon.

Lady Thatcher more likely.

fingers crossed!

Old Blue wrote:

Reg wrote:

Amy Winehouse will be next i reckon.

Lady Thatcher more likely.

fingers crossed!

The pictures are brilliant.

Farrahs death was totally eclipsed by Jackos. Not even a mention of her on Anderson Cooper...

What's the difference between Farrah Fawcett and Jacko?

One went with majors, the other went with minors!

It has been reported that Michael Jackson is not going to be buried or cremated. He is going to be recycled into carrier bags, so he can remain white, plastic, and dangerous to children................

Loads and loads more - no? Ok. Gone.

Oh, sorry if I have offended anyone.

He faked his death. He escaped to France.

My eyes are overflowing with tears...

...of laughter!

Courtesy of Frankie Boyle: Oh dear. Had to quit my Daily Record column over a moral disagreement. We disagreed over whether it was ok to make jokes about a dead child molestor. Here is the whole column, big love my niggers, Frankie x

So the Michael Jackson roller coaster has stopped. Looks like he got enough.

Apparently he died after walking into a pub in Paisley and saying “Do you wanna be starting something?” We can all learn something from Michael’s life. For example, it looks like oxygen tents are a big waste of money.

Why did no one pick up on it when he had shown all the signs of a heart attack? Wheezing noises, jerking of the arms, ashen complexion? I suppose to be fair he has been showing all those symptoms since the mid eighties. Had Jackson’s staff noticed something was wrong earlier he might have been saved, but when they saw him grab his left arm, go stiff and yelp they just thought he was practising his moves for Beat It. It’s not known what triggered the heart attack, but High School Musical 3 was on cable at the time. In many ways he was a tragic figure. Let’s be honest, he had more personal issues than Batman.Who could have imagined that the monster he transformed into in “Thriller” would look less weird than what he transformed into in real life? It’s got to be a tossup whether he get cremated or recycled. His postmortem will look like the Roswell autopsy.

I was a big Michael Jackson fan when I was 8. I didn't know it at the time, but I was his 'type.'

For his London concerts Michael Jackson advertised for children in wheelchairs or with missing legs! What parent would agree to that? Look what happened with kids who could run away! Those tickets sold out in minutes. An interesting attitude we have to paedophilia in this country, “ We don’t want paedophiles round here! Unless they’ve really worked on their choreography...”

He was a legend and his funeral will be amazing. Ironically the funeral will be the first time in years his children haven’t been forced to wear veils.With the amount of money the concert tickets have made I wouldn’t be surprised if they still wheeled him on. It would add an interesting touch to I’ll Be There. Michael Jackson was apparently refusing to eat ahead of his O2 gigs. He now weighed less than nine stone and the only thing he would eat willingly was nachos. Nachos being the name of a young Mexican boy. It’s said that Jackson had developed a phobia about being fat. Not like him to worry about his looks. Apparently when the news broke Jackson’s father rushed straight to the hospital, just to check if the medics needed a hand with beating Michael’s chest.

Jackson’s family said they were moved to see that the hospital staff were all wearing black. Actually, they were all wearing white as usual, but that family had always had a little trouble admitting the difference. The man may be gone but he has left a musical legacy that will be around for hundreds of years. As will his face.

Murraymania has hit Wimbledon with millions convinced that Andy Murray has what it takes to become the first British male for a long time to be knocked out in the final. Murray could be Wimbledon if he just the right breaks, like one to Roger Federer’s ankle. This year Murray is desperately trying to convince the crowd he’s ‘British’. Then he fucked that up by winning. Nine Brits were beaten on the first day. Mind you, they all turned up with snooker cues.

The Lawn Tennis Association says the eighty million pound roof over Centre Court will improve British tennis. Really? They’re attaching a noose? Visitors to Wimbledon have been paying £20 a day to park on a graveyard. It only came to light after the families of deceased relatives complained about having to lay flowers on a BMW.What sort of person would think it’s acceptable to park their 4x4 on top of someone’s grave. Oh yes, the sort of person that owns a 4x4.I love Wimbledon. It’s the only time I get to watch women in short skirts grunting and sweating without night vision goggles. I really enjoy all that grunting. My neighbours keep banging on the wall to get me to stop.

The BBC has published its expenses. They also claimed for chandeliers, moats and large houses. To be fair, it was for ‘Pride and Prejudice.' They claimed thousands of pounds for ‘entertaining.It’s a disgrace. The BBC hasn’t done that for years.Deputy Director Mark Byford charged licence fee payers £4.99 for a book of the history of QPR football club. And a thousand on a divorce lawyer when he gave it to his wife for Christmas. £1,137 was spent on a knighthood dinner for Terry Wogan. And it’s the last time they take him to Pizza Hut and say, ‘Order anything you like.’

The BNP may be sued for refusing membership to non whites.The BNP say they welcome minorities as card carrying members. The cards say ‘Fuck off home.’ I look forward to Nick Griffin holding ‘minority awareness’ workshops and playing God Save The Queen on steel drums.

London Underground is using quotes from Ghandi on the Tube. I saw the film and I don’t remember him saying, ‘There’s a body on the line at Marble Arch.’ They use other famous quotes too – but the one from the Koran emptied the train.

The Scottish National Library banned the Saltire flag for being racist. There are racist librarians? Knitting a cardigan with a swastika in it must be a nightmare. I’d love to see them march. ‘What do we want? Sssshh!’

A ghost town that was built in Argyll but then abandoned to the wild is to be demolished because it lies crumbling and derelict. It’s a shame because there’s some great scenery around Greenock.

A male stripper, known as Sergeant Eros, has been convicted of impersonating a police officer and pulling over other drivers using flashing lights on his car. He pulled over several female drivers but they quickly realised he wasn’t a policemen when he didn’t expose his genitals.

Twenty-two people in the UK have donated a kidney to a stranger. It’s just a shame that many of the strangers were German cannibals.

Sir Ranulph Fiennes’s wife says that he can’t read a map. Getting to the South Pole unassisted is even more impressive as it turns out he’d only gone out to buy some fags.

I reckon the rights to broadcast Scottish football next year could be picked up by anyone with a few empty Irn Bru bottles and a camcorder. So that’s STV out of the running.

Scientists have found that Botox can make hair re-grow, but women that have had injections in their forehead don’t need to worry. People will still be unable to see your frown lines, because they’ll be hidden behind all that lovely forehead hair.

Diamond 383 wrote:

banshee wrote: didnt colin buy a couple ?

No.

Forget about what was proven in court; the things he said about little boys himself in that interview were bizarre enough.

I always felt a bit sad about MJ, to be honest. From an early age us normal people have been guided by our families and our mates and most of us have this to thank for the fact that we're not completely weird.

Jackson seemed to me to have been raised entirely without benefiting from that process. Nobody ever said "stop that" to him and as a result he had not developed any proper moral, social, emotional or financial acumen. He hid like a child behind excuses which he felt should legitimise his mad behaviour and surrounded himself with yes-men who insulated him from the consequences of what he'd done. His later work reflected this and was crap as a result.

I thought he was horrible. I'd have thrown him in jail for interfering with witnesses, never mind the offences themselves. But I also think it's a shame that the people who I think share the blame, the people who protected him and facilitated his madness, as well as those who profited from it, will not be called to account.

A sad life.

Can't disagree with anything............

Actually, his dad is an authoritarian control-freak prick from hell, so most of what Michael heard when he was growing up was "no." Of course, once he reached "adulthood," I doubt he ever heard the word again.

Ok so im guilty as the next person for bad taste jokes at Jacko's expense but with the internet and mobile age, the jokes surface minutes after any poor soul dies. Although he brought alot of his problems upon his self, its a bit sad for him to be so mocked. I think it says more about us and the cynical world we live in.

I think he was a genius of his time and made some brilliant songs: Billie Jean, Aint No Sunshine, You Wanna Be Startin Something, Beat It, Dont Stop Till You Get Enough, Man In The Mirror. All classics in my book.

I hope his children will be left alone and not have the rabid media hounding them

RIP Michael

Actually... er... "Ain't No Sunshine"... wasn't that Bill Withers that did that song?

[ Sorry for that off-topic post. Anywho, R.I.P. MJ.]

NO Regret wrote: Ok so im guilty as the next person for bad taste jokes at Jacko's expense but with the internet and mobile age, the jokes surface minutes after any poor soul dies. Although he brought alot of his problems upon his self, its a bit sad for him to be so mocked. I think it says more about us and the cynical world we live in.

I think he was a genius of his time and made some brilliant songs: Billie Jean, Aint No Sunshine, You Wanna Be Startin Something, Beat It, Dont Stop Till You Get Enough, Man In The Mirror. All classics in my book.

I hope his children will be left alone and not have the rabid media hounding them

RIP Michael

I suppose yer right, but when all the news stations are giving full coverage of his death and forgetting about all the other news in the world for two days straight, it makes one cynical. I know he was important and did great music... but the coverage is a bit excessive.