ADDICTION!!!!

Truly astounding is-it-April-1st? interview in the paper today with washed-up comedian Alistair McGowan, who claims in all seriousness that his crippling 'addiction' to football (no, really) has ruined his life and his relationship. Obviously the fact that his career has gone down the shitter in recent years is also a factor in this bizarre finger-pointing. Apparently, Ceefax played a major role in all of this this. Obviously, being a sleb, he's written a book about his ordeal. He also confesses to being a Leeds fan, which would suggest to me that what he's really suffering from is (a) delusions of grandeur and (b) rampant self-pity.

Anyway, I'm all for heightened sensitivity to serious mental health issues, so would any other NOOLers like to confess the "addictions" which have destroyed their otherwise fully-functioning existences??? My name is Martin and I'm addicted to walnuts, the smell of "Women's Weekly" magazine and wiping my arse from back to front.....

My name Alistair and I'm a twat...

Wont be long before being a cunt will be a medical condition.

He could get DLA for that you know....imagine that, a ton a week for watching twatball.

Hmmmm, I'm addicted to lying on my sofa watching crappy BBC documentaries, where's my twatting giro?

And is there ANY member of NOOL not addicted to frantic self abuse (often with fantasies of Martin, au natch.

Oh, and you left out an important point.....he's almost never funny, and looks perpetually pissed/over-rouged. (OK, that's TWO things really, but I believe they may be linked)

I just speed-read it earlier, in order to extract only the bits that confirm my belief that he is a cock of the first order. In the end, I only had to look at his idiot face then turned to look at the football pages.

He co-wrote the book with his fucking ex partner. They would have LITERALLY killed one another if they'd not split up, he claims.

Who's for them giving it another try then?

She looks a bit stern. No wonder she got pissy when he wanted to watch the game.

Well, Al has a point. How fucked up would you have to be to sacrifice this....

....er, for this:

El Jarvo wrote:

Toolbox wrote: She looks a bit stern. No wonder she got pissy when he wanted to watch the game.

She's got a lovely accent.

And fantastic Walid Jumblatts!

and you could get her to do Audrey Hepburn.

James Thomas wrote:

El Jarvo wrote:

Toolbox wrote: She looks a bit stern. No wonder she got pissy when he wanted to watch the game.

She's got a lovely accent.

And fantastic Walid Jumblatts!

and you could get her to do Audrey Hepburn.

Assuming Ronnie has the urge to crack open a cold one that is.

I'm fairly sure necrophilia is still pretty much against the law,mind.Or at least frowned upon.

Not exactly on the same wavelength; I was thinking more the little black dress etc.

I know. I was just being a bit disorderly and boisterous.

Audrey was a beautiful woman,for sure.