For reasons I would rather not detail here I have been eating a lot of beetroot recently. Here is what I have discovered:
- If you go for a shit after eating a lot of beetroot, it looks like you've suffered a prolapse. But don't panic! As long as you small intestine isn't nestling in the bowl amidst your rancid faeces, yer OK!
- Beetroot is the key ingredient in Borsch, a nutritious Russian soup. It is basically a bowl of root vegetables in some water. It makes you fart like a motherfucker.
- Without beetroot, Serbian salt mines would never have been properly worked.
- In the film 'Eastern Promises', Naomi Watts eats some Borsch cooked by a Russian mobster. I often wonder if Naomi's labia turn the colour of beetroot when she is sexually aroused. If so, should she go to the doctor about it?
- They say beetroot has an aphrodisiac effect. I've yet to see any evidence of this, unless the smell of you own farts turns you on.
Anyone got anymore?
