Top 5 things that you associate with Christmas

Believe me, I have a sense of humour. You just weren't funny. You were borderline offensive.

annmuin wrote: Believe me, I have a sense of humour. You just weren't funny. You were borderline offensive.

I'm sure I will be offending people in the future and I don't want to be too self-conscious about it.

Jeffari-al-Texani wrote:

Chris Nash wrote:

annmuin wrote:

4. walking into someone's house & smelling their Xmas tree

Is that a euphemism? Is it a fetish? Has anyone ever called the police when you've done that? Is it strangers' houses or just people you know?

Just curious...

I loled...

Likewise!

1. Not being at work.
2. Cooking.
3. Getting pleasantly tanked.
4. Keeping overindulgence just out of range of the nausea zone.
5. Helping sproglets unwrap stupid bits of twiddly wire from hermetically sealed nuclear war proof plastic cases.

annmuin wrote: Believe me, I have a sense of humour. You just weren't funny. You were borderline offensive.

Hi I'm from Northern Ireland, and consequently have a real issue with borders, with that in mind.........

What a shock to see you bear out every worst thing heard about you moosefuckers, anyone I know who's been there claims that at least 80% (I've heard estimates as high as 98.32%) of the populace are born with no humour genes at all, and are actually WAY worse than their retarded neighbours to the South when it comes to totally not getting the gag. The remaining population are apparently, utterly hilarious, moderately mental, and spend a great deal of their lives trying to pretend they do not know the rest of Canada. Take Jacques Villeneuve, who's car plunged off the road at Australia 2001, with debris killing a photographer......several months later IN Canada, he had the cheek to call Juan Pablo Montoya unsafe....and to get physically agressive when Montoya quite reasonably stated "Funny, I don't recall killing anyone this year"

If that was borderline offensive, let me know, and I'll dig up a few of your ancestors and bumrape their corpses.

This has been a public service announcement on behalf of the "Would everybody with serious personality issues (that aren't as funny as Fradders' or Digi's) please fuck off back to the sane side before somebody (them) gets hurt" society. Thank you, and give generously to our next "crack cocaine for orphans" collection.

PS: I bet you have a face like a lepper's cunt.

And yes, I am trying to steal post of the year on the last lap.

OH .......

1. Dr Who Xmas special (it's always cack, it's a new tradition, but just to know how many people are seeing it, and know that if one in 100,000 of them goes on to watch other Who for the first time, that's a whole load of folks who will hear such wonders as "Pah, anyone can make sense" and "Whatever I've done for you in the past, I've more than made up for" is just wonderful.) 2.not being able to move in my living room, which is crammed on all walls with machine, for all the sudden additions of more machines and their traveling attire.
2. Salivating canines posted in front of the oven for 12 hours....presumably in case you sneak the dodo size turkey past them and eat every pick. Almost every dog I have ever had has gone through some variation of this ritual...some standing, some lying, some sitting....even one, who for 364 days of the year, was as gentle as a lamb on vallium and slept at the foot of my mum's bed......but who, on xmas eve, when the turkey's slow cook was begun (well, early hours of Xmas day, but until santa has been it's xmas eve)....would lie, in the pose of a regal lion or trained attack dog, directly in front of the oven, and bare teeth at anyone who thought to move him.
3. It only happened twice but it'll stick for ever..... EJ joining me and mum and bro and (now departed) granddad, at the table and eating off a plate (with impeccable manners) and even wearing a hat. Sort of happened by accident the first time, and we were stunned at how "not dog" he was. EJ's successor, Tux, is half Lab, 3/8ths fuckknows and about 1/8th staffie.....he therefor has massive intelligence and the jaw pressure of a great white shark....he's getting tossed into the yard with a ham bone
4. A Christmas Carol, particularly the one with Paddy Stewart.

Doctor? wrote: and are actually WAY worse than their retarded neighbours to the South when it comes to totally not getting the gag.

I don't know, a lot of Mexicans i know seem to get a gag pretty well and are pretty funny individuals.