What's the best form of birth control after 50? Nudity
What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? 45 kilos.
What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? 45 minutes.
How many women does it take to change a light bulb? None, they just sit there in the dark and bitch.
What's the fastest way to a man's heart? Through his chest with a sharp knife. .
What have men and floor tiles got in common? If you lay them properly the first time, you can walk all over them for life.
Why do men want to marry virgins? They can't stand criticism.
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring and good looking? Because those men already have boyfriends.
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
What do you call a smart blonde? A golden retriever.
A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in sixth grade. Who has the biggest boobs? The blonde, because she's 18.
What does a 75 year old woman have between her breasts? Her navel.
What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies? A Bingo Machine.
Why did God create alcohol? So ugly people could have sex too.
What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? "Are you sure it's mine?"
Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex? Mace will do that to you.
If you are having sex with two women and one more walks in, what do you have? Divorce proceedings most likely.
Why did OJ Simpson want to move to Tasmania? Everyone has the same DNA.
What do toilets, a clitoris, and an anniversary have in common? Men miss them all.
Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? Breasts don't have eyes.
What's the Indonesian National Anthem? Row row row your boat.
Why do farts smell? For the benefit of the deaf.
