New Shed Song

TURN-ip

It's a hard way to come home You've got me on my knees The shed is tumbling down It's falling like the leaves

The days turned into months and years I can't forget that you were hence I feel your presence everywhere In the corner by the fence

Turn your shed light off It's time for me to go Across the grass and through the gate I want you to know you're my mate

There's wild weeds out there And nobody gives a damn In cold blood we don't care And we don't want to prune

I'm sitting here alone at night My shed doors are open wide What do you want me to say Someone took the lock away

The Plants are high the grass is long Show me where the mowers gone What do you want me to do Go to b and q for a new one

Turn your shed light off It's time for me to go Across the grass and through the gate I want you to know you're my mate

Turn your shed light off It's time for me to go Across the grass and through the gate I want you to know you're my mate

The Village - Shed

When a new shed turns towards you And the night becomes the day We shall remain forever Everyone who potters about this way Oh, our love is like the flowers The rain and the sun and the hours Oh, our love is like the flowers The rain and the sun and the hours

When the rain falls to the water butt They'll be waiting irigation And the sky reflects our image Everythings gone green in our nation

Oh, our love is like the shed The sun and the trees and the flower bed Oh, our love is like the shed The sun and the trees and the flower bed

I am still here two days later Same lawn, same garden And I'm stuck here two years too long Same place, wrong time to plant

Oh, our love is like the flowers The rain and the sun and the hours Oh, our love is like the flowers The sun and the sun and the hours

Their plant died three years ago Prize tomatos I cannot show

Here's one I'm working on.

And there won't be sheds in Africa this Christmas time the greatest gift they'll get this year is a lean-to

Jed Stephens wrote: Here's one I'm working on.

And there won't be sheds in Africa this Christmas time the greatest gift they'll get this year is a lean-to

Good effort, all will be revealed soon and you will be invited to a new shed game :)

Here to Mow

Who is this weed That follows me This nuisance plant Who wants to be

This useless cause Of plantlife kind This bomb set off by seed

Like a black hole in the garden so very dark, it will get you fuming It will drive you away, it will drive you insane But then when weeded it will remove all of your pain

Like a black hole in the garden So very dark it will get you fuming It will get you fuming,it will get you fuming It will get you fuming, fuming, fuming

This open shed A place to rest my head This place of worship With walls of woodchip

The mower i store inside With you, was kept alive

Like a black hole in the garden So very dark it will get you fuming It will get you fuming,it will get you fuming It will get you fuming, fuming, fuming

Like a black hole in the garden So very dark it will get you fuming It will get you fuming,it will get you fuming It will get you fuming, fuming, fuming

We're here to mow We're here to mow We're here to mow We're here to mow We're here to mow We're here to mow We're here to mow We're here to mow

Like a black hole in the garden So very dark it will get you fuming It will get you fuming,it will get you fuming It will get you fuming, fuming, fuming

Shed Aid

It’s Christmas time, the house is full of joy and cheer At Christmas time, I just want to have a quiet beer And in or lounge there’s plenty, of tinsel on the tree But I can’t take any more egg nog at Christmas time

But there’s a place, a place I can have some peace At Christmas time It’s cold, but I can have some fun There’s a shed out in the garden And it’s where I keep my beer I can sit there with my mower and other gardening gear I could do with some insulation, because it’s pretty bloody cold But tonight thank God I’ve got my own shed

And there won’t be sheds in Africa this Christmas time No place for blokes to get away from the wife No place to get a brake And share a drink with a rake Do they know that sheds exist at all

Here’s to Sheds There’s a place for all your tools We love shed’s Get away from all the fools Do they know that sheds exist at all

We love sheds The great escape at Christmas time We love sheds The great escape at Christmas time We love sheds The great escape at Christmas time We love sheds The great escape at Christmas time

Superb effort Jed

Great stuff folks...

Inspired by listening to a spot of early JD...

HOVER-MOWER

When sunlight glistens on the lawn, don't you know it's time to hoe, 'Cos you've got to work so hard for everything you grow. Can't prune your laurels now, Not when you've other trees. You'll find yourself cleaning guttering, Of all that debris and leaves.

Someone told me being in the shed is the main thing. We all need the security a quality padlock brings. Can't mulch on your own in these times, Against all the weeds, You all just fall behind with sowing all your seeds.

You trim our bush and pretend you know about, All the things that we were gonna grow. What ya gonna grow, what ya gonna grow, When it's autumn? You're on your lawn now, Don't you think it's looking class? Well, you're the only one responsible for the grass. So what ya gonna do when the hover-mower has gone? Yeah, what ya gonna do when the hover-mower has gone?

You trim our bush, And pretend you know about, All the things we were gonna grow. What ya gonna grow, what ya gonna grow When its autumn?

Snorri xxx

Snorrimon wrote: Great stuff folks...

Inspired by listening to a spot of early JD...

HOVER-MOWER

When sunlight glistens on the lawn, don't you know it's time to hoe, 'Cos you've got to work so hard for everything you grow. Can't prune your laurels now, Not when you've other trees. You'll find yourself cleaning guttering, Of all that debris and leaves.

Someone told me being in the shed is the main thing. We all need the security a quality padlock brings. Can't mulch on your own in these times, Against all the weeds, You all just fall behind with sowing all your seeds.

You trim our bush and pretend you know about, All the things that we were gonna grow. What ya gonna grow, what ya gonna grow, When it's autumn? You're on your lawn now, Don't you think it's looking class? Well, you're the only one responsible for the grass. So what ya gonna do when the hover-mower has gone? Yeah, what ya gonna do when the hover-mower has gone?

You trim our bush, And pretend you know about, All the things we were gonna grow. What ya gonna grow, what ya gonna grow When its autumn?

Snorri xxx

GENIUS

Snorrimon wrote: Great stuff folks...

Inspired by listening to a spot of early JD...

HOVER-MOWER

When sunlight glistens on the lawn, don't you know it's time to hoe, 'Cos you've got to work so hard for everything you grow. Can't prune your laurels now, Not when you've other trees. You'll find yourself cleaning guttering, Of all that debris and leaves.

Someone told me being in the shed is the main thing. We all need the security a quality padlock brings. Can't mulch on your own in these times, Against all the weeds, You all just fall behind with sowing all your seeds.

You trim our bush and pretend you know about, All the things that we were gonna grow. What ya gonna grow, what ya gonna grow, When it's autumn? You're on your lawn now, Don't you think it's looking class? Well, you're the only one responsible for the grass. So what ya gonna do when the hover-mower has gone? Yeah, what ya gonna do when the hover-mower has gone?

You trim our bush, And pretend you know about, All the things we were gonna grow. What ya gonna grow, what ya gonna grow When its autumn?

Snorri xxx

Brilliant, i thought it was just going to be mike and me doing this.

on the subject of sheds (or closely related) my garage door has just broken!, managed to get it shut, but I had to snip a wire to do so, I hate up & overs. will need to get it replaced, but it'll have to wait for new year now! great Christmas prezzie that! C*nt!

LIAM won't like this...BAH HUMBUG!

Everythings gone SHED.

79 order wrote: Everythings gone SHED.

Yes, sir...

Yer Shedder believe it

Here is a German techno guy called Shed

maybe he could do the music?

http://bleep.com/index.php?page=release_details&releaseid=19320

A garage, a greenhouse, a shed Just needs weeding inside and some veg And though it hurts me to treat you this way Betrayed by wasps,a dodgy door and some decay

NO Regret wrote: A garage, a greenhouse, a shed Just needs weeding inside and some veg And though it hurts me to treat you this way Betrayed by wasps,a dodgy door and some decay

Genius :D

Nu Ordah wrote:

NO Regret wrote: A garage, a greenhouse, a shed Just needs weeding inside and some veg And though it hurts me to treat you this way Betrayed by wasps,a dodgy door and some decay

Genius :D

Updown turnaround Please dont pave over the ground Tonight I think Ill water the plants And buy some grass seed when I get the chance

NO Regret wrote:

Nu Ordah wrote:

NO Regret wrote: A garage, a greenhouse, a shed Just needs weeding inside and some veg And though it hurts me to treat you this way Betrayed by wasps,a dodgy door and some decay

Genius :D

Updown turnaround Please dont pave over the ground Tonight I think Ill water the plants And buy some grass seed when I get the chance

Don't turn a blind eye to all of the green fly it'll ruin your stir fry

KRAFTY

Some people get up at the break of day Gotta go to shed before it gets too late Sitting in a garden or allotment down the road Thats the way it has to be

And that's what you do to earn your daily wage That's the kind of shed that we're living in today Is itwhere you wanna be And is it what you wanna do

Just give me one more spade (one more spade) Give me another bike (just another bike ) I need a second shed(second shed) This time I'll get it right (This time I'll get it right)

I'll paint it one last time (one last time) I've gotta let you know (I've gotta let you know) I've got to change the shelves (I've got to change the shelves) I'll never let it go

You've gotta look at sheds the way they oughta be Looking at the sheds from underneath a tree There's a world inside and a world out there With a dartboard or tv you just have to care

They've got metal ones, plastic ones and wooden too All shrunk down in a flat pack from B&Q And in there the world is a beautiful place With mowers, tools and Hookys bass And this is where I wanna be And this is what I wanna do

Just give me one more spade (one more spade) Give me another bike (just another bike ) I need a second shed(second shed) This time I'll get it right (This time I'll get it right)

I'll paint it one last time (one last time) I've gotta let you know (I've gotta let you know) I've got to change the shelves (I've got to change the shelves) I'll never let it go

Spooky

Once in a while I need a shed I want one that's got a cover It's just a moment in b and q But sometimes we out DIY each other

Maybe we could find the time Eliminate the bugs and mites We do everything we could The nicest shed in the neighbourhood

We could break any tool Anytime we wanted to Don't be a spade step in this way Let's defend the sheds we made

I want a shed up in the air Or just a shed anywhere Maybe I'm wrong is there a sale on tomorrow Get down to wickes and I will follow

Maybe we could find the time Elevate this shed of mine Decorate for me and you A master shed just for two

We could break any tool Anytime we wanted to Don't be a spade step in this way Let's defend the sheds we made

Krafty is sublime

Mr Disco

How can I ever forget you You don't know just what I've been through The lawn we mowed together Grows with me now and forever

I tried but I can't find you Tell me now what do I do I tried but I can't find you Tell me now what do I do

I can't find my hover mower Because I need you with me in spring time I used to think about you night and day I used to feel what shears cannot say Oh I can't find you No I can't mow my piece of grass without you

Maybe I could use a strimmer But it would make the task so much grimmer Our grass cuttings ended in the barrow Without you there's no tomorrow

I tried but I can't find you Tell me now what do I do I tried but I can't find you Tell me now what do I do

I can't find my hover mower Because I need you with me in spring time I used to think about you night and day I used to feel what shears cannot say Oh I can't find you No I can't mow my piece of grass without you

I can't find my hover mower Because I need you with me in spring time I used to think about you night and day I used to feel what shears cannot say Oh I can't find you No I can't mow my piece of grass without you

Wicks, Homebase and B and Q I've searched all these places but never found you

Vanishing Lawn

Grow up roses, don't you suffer At the thorns of one another If you like a germinating seed Listen can you hear him weeping Tears of joy and tears of sorrow He buys seeds to sow tomorrow

My life ain't no holiday I've been to Corby I've seen what a man can do I've seen Charlie Dimmock’s boobs too

Feel your Shed door lose hindge He can't touch as the wood is singed Door is short but wood is strong There lies a hope that I have found And if you try you'll find it too Remember tightly to screw

My life ain't no holiday I've been to Corby I've seen what a man can do I've seen Charlie Dimmock’s boobs too

And they mowed it away Like Alan Titchmarsh By the look on his face He had a big grin :D

excellent work!!

Not sure if this is any good, but I present "Behind Shed Doors"

There is a secret place Underneath a tree Where I go for me time This is my shed The key I have is mine And only I can go inside You can only see my shed To see inside would open your eyes

At any given time I dream about my shed My time in there is peaceful No worries about the evil Maybe a beer or two And a good read Behind my shed doors There in my retreat

I don't know what makes me stay Maybe it’s the comfy chair There's something wrong with kids today They just don’t care about my shed There's no hope No one to trust I can't cope It's obvious Please don't take my shed away I'm never gonna give it away

This is my place of solitude That I can call a home I live without a care I’m never alone in there One day I will get the power on So I can listen to my tunes I really like my shed Its at its best when covered on snow Behind my shed doors

Behind shed doors Behind shed doors Behind shed doors There in my shed Behind shed doors

yes its very good

I kept my shed against a wall its been leaking for so long now you werent exactly falling over your shelves when I last saw you

well i always thought we'd get along like a shed on fire until you told me that i had to mow how can someone like you let the weeds grow

whatever you think of it you were so hard now ill make you see whatever you think of it it was so cold theres no heating

I dont felt the roof anymore The state of disgrace is consuming me Its not filled up but its stacked with toys It gives you pain but it gives me joy

well i always thought we'd get along like a shed on fire in the days when the sun was warm i ran in the street where it was bought

whatever you think of it you were so hard now ill make you see whatever you think of it it was so cold theres no heating

The shed is so empty at this time of night I like to sit on my own and unwind In a world without a view, I find myself in solitude Thats the danger in reading books, playing soduko, and putting up hooks some say intellectual sites we love, from a stolen shed into a perfect world

NO Regret wrote: yes its very good

I kept my shed against a wall its been leaking for so long now you werent exactly falling over your shelves when I last saw you

well i always thought we'd get along like a shed on fire until you told me that i had to mow how can someone like you let the weeds grow

whatever you think of it you were so hard now ill make you see whatever you think of it it was so cold theres no heating

I dont felt the roof anymore The state of disgrace is consuming me Its not filled up but its stacked with toys It gives you pain but it gives me joy

well i always thought we'd get along like a shed on fire in the days when the sun was warm i ran in the street where it was bought

whatever you think of it you were so hard now ill make you see whatever you think of it it was so cold theres no heating

The shed is so empty at this time of night I like to sit on my own and unwind In a world without a view, I find myself in solitude Thats the danger in reading books, playing soduko, and putting up hooks some say intellectual sites we love, from a stolen shed into a perfect world

Me thinks I've got the hang of this or I'm just going mad

Every shed counts We all love our shed People don’t understand why we care so much I guess it’s cause you give us refuge And allow a sense of order Every second counts when were in our shed Every shed counts

Every shed counts We all love our shed You give our tools shelter from the rain And the snow Even though your old We’ll never let you go Every second counts when were in our shed Every second counts when were In our shed

Every second counts When were in our shed Even though you're made of timber We still love you The smile upon our face When we gaze upon your frame Every second counts when were in our shed

Heres one ive done...

'Eshedia' its called,23 min long instrumental!

Gazman wrote: Heres one ive done...

'Eshedia' its called,23 min long instrumental!

Wow fantastic composition

Nu Ordah wrote:

Gazman wrote: Heres one ive done...

'Eshedia' its called,23 min long instrumental!

Wow fantastic composition

Thanks mate,am quite chuffed with my air guitar solo at 19:16

I don't think that this is in the spirit of this thread, I maybe wrong, but great lateral thinking.

You reckon?...

Will i not bother posting my reworking of 'The Vikings' theme tune?

Its got a working title of 'stick yer spirit where the sun dont shine'....

:)

The Perfect Shed

I stood there beside my shed, Thinking hard about the weather, Then came by a friend of mine, Suggest we paint the shed together Then I read it on the tin ‘Not to be used within’ Pretending not to see the warning, I said "let's paint inside tomorrow morning" I know, you know, we believe in a shed of love I know, you know, we believe in a shed of love

I have always thought about Tidying and clearing out Tonight I should have stayed at home, Playing with my garden gnome He always stands so still, I'd often think he may be ill Pretending not to see the warning, I said "let's paint inside tomorrow morning" I know, you know, we believe in a shed of love I know, you know, we believe in a shed of love

When you are alone in the morning You search the net for some loft boarding That you believe is right If you give it all away You throw away your only chance to board today Then a window breaks in your shed You lose source of light in your storage bed My shed, it took my bicycle Now I know the perfect shed is a shed of recycle

Gazman wrote:

Nu Ordah wrote:

Gazman wrote: Heres one ive done...

'Eshedia' its called,23 min long instrumental!

Wow fantastic composition

Thanks mate,am quite chuffed with my air guitar solo at 19:16

I like the bit in the middle where it goes quiet.

Bloody hell, Gaz, you just beat me to it with Eshedia... never mind, managed to salvage a fair bit of it for use in this:

The Peter Shedville Soundtrack

I thank you...

Snorri xxx

I pay shedage to you gazman for those kind words !

Captain Solo wrote: I pay shedage to you gazman for those kind words !

Your shedage is returned

Ive finished reworking 'The Vikings' theme, here it is..

...

'The Shedings' 2012

we got yer there is no escape now

Temptation

A heaven, a gateway, a Shed Just like a feeling inside, my head And though it hurts me not to treat your wood I will get the creosote and make you good

Up, down, paint the shed When I’m done I’ll go to bed Tonight I won’t brush alone Watched by my garden gnome

Up, down, paint the shed When I’m done I’ll go to bed Tonight I won’t brush alone Watched by my garden gnome

Each way I brush, I know I’ll always try To cover your wood and leave none exposed From time to time, I find I need more creosote It is so urgent to maintain you I note

Up, down, paint the shed When I’m done I’ll go to bed Tonight I won’t brush alone Watched by my garden gnome

Up, down, paint the shed When I’m done I’ll go to bed Tonight I won’t brush alone Watched by my garden gnome

Oh, you've got new hinges Oh, you've got old hinges Oh, you've got rusty hinges

Oh, you've got new hinges Oh, you've got old hinges Oh, you've got rusty hinges

And I’ve never seen a Harris Apex Quite like you before No, I’ve never seen a Harris Apex Quite like you before

Bolts from above fit the nuts down below People in this world, let's have a barbecue Bolts from above fit the nuts down below People in this world, let's have a barbecue

Bolts from above fit the nuts down below People in this world, let's have a barbecue Bolts from above fit the nuts down below People in this world, let's have a barbecue

Oh, it’s the last stroke, oh, it’s the last stroke Oh, it’s the last stroke, oh, it’s the last stroke Oh, it’s the last stroke

Oh, I’ve never seen a storeroom Quite like you before Oh no, I’ve never seen a storeroom Quite like you before

Not enough references to gnomes in popular music, so respect for Shedtation, Mike...

Snorri xxx

Shed of Salvation

You can strim, or you can cut The grass around your water butt I went out to plant some seeds Mow the lawn and pull up leaves My brother said that the tree was dead I saw his face and left the shed Can't you see, it's in a tub, It's not a tree, it's an effin' shrub?

'Cause it's the shed of salvation, shed of salvation That's aiding cultivation Yes, it's the shed of salvation, shed of salvation That's aiding cultivation Oh, the shed of salvation, shed of salvation Is causing lawn aeration Oh, the shed of salvation, shed of salvation It's aiding cultivation

From my shed I took my hoe My secateurs and Hovermow When it broke down, I raked the ground 'Cause I don't digwhen you're around I don't find that I have grown All the seeds that I have sown If that's the case, then who could tell Where the pruning had begun?

'Cause it's the shed of salvation, shed of salvation That's aiding cultivation Yes, it's the shed of salvation, shed of salvation That's aiding cultivation Oh, the shed of salvation, shed of salvation Is causing lawn aeration Oh, the shed of salvation, shed of salvation It's aiding cultivation

Shed of salvation Shed of salvation Shed of salvation Shed of salvation Shed of salvation Shed of salvation Shed of salvation

Even now, I'm all alone Behind a bed that's overgrown I think about the many hours That I have passed in planting flowers I know it all could be worthwhile If only I could rake leaves in a pile Now we start to creosote The shed of salvation needs a second coat

'Cause it's the shed of salvation, shed of salvation That's aiding cultivation Yes, it's the shed of salvation, shed of salvation That's aiding cultivation Oh, the shed of salvation, shed of salvation Is causing lawn aeration Oh, the shed of salvation, shed of salvation It's aiding cultivation

Snorri xxx

cant you see theres nothing in your shed and your fork is on vocation i keep clearing whats in your shed Youve got me in your conservatory

Snorrimon wrote: Shed of Salvation

You can strim, or you can cut The grass around your water butt I went out to plant some seeds Mow the lawn and pull up leaves My brother said that the tree was dead I saw his face and left the shed Can't you see, it's in a tub, It's not a tree, it's an effin' shrub?

'Cause it's the shed of salvation, shed of salvation That's aiding cultivation Yes, it's the shed of salvation, shed of salvation That's aiding cultivation Oh, the shed of salvation, shed of salvation Is causing lawn aeration Oh, the shed of salvation, shed of salvation It's aiding cultivation

From my shed I took my hoe My secateurs and Hovermow When it broke down, I raked the ground 'Cause I don't digwhen you're around I don't find that I have grown All the seeds that I have sown If that's the case, then who could tell Where the pruning had begun?

'Cause it's the shed of salvation, shed of salvation That's aiding cultivation Yes, it's the shed of salvation, shed of salvation That's aiding cultivation Oh, the shed of salvation, shed of salvation Is causing lawn aeration Oh, the shed of salvation, shed of salvation It's aiding cultivation

Shed of salvation Shed of salvation Shed of salvation Shed of salvation Shed of salvation Shed of salvation Shed of salvation

Even now, I'm all alone Behind a bed that's overgrown I think about the many hours That I have passed in planting flowers I know it all could be worthwhile If only I could rake leaves in a pile Now we start to creosote The shed of salvation needs a second coat

'Cause it's the shed of salvation, shed of salvation That's aiding cultivation Yes, it's the shed of salvation, shed of salvation That's aiding cultivation Oh, the shed of salvation, shed of salvation Is causing lawn aeration Oh, the shed of salvation, shed of salvation It's aiding cultivation

Snorri xxx

I read this on my Blackberry in a meeting and the first verse made me laugh out loud during someones presentation. Great work

A warning to you shed song writers.

Mentioned in passing, as you do, to H.I.D over dinner last night this thread and read out some of the lyrics. Fair play to her she found one or two very good.

Unfortunately, over breaky this morning she turned on me as she remembered waking up humming some N.O track whilst thinking of shed lyrics in her sleep.

Personally, I think even more of her now, as she's not really into N.O, so for those who's other half also ain't into N.O you've been warned.

Denial

Here I am in a Shed full of junk but no shelves In a light that is grey like the stain on my T-Shirt All of this and a weed, such a painful companion Inside the shed

It's just something I know, the mower’s not right It mow’s and cut’s out and it frightens me It's just something I know, the mower’s not right It mow’s and cut’s out and it frightens me

This feeling inside me can't confront the trip switch To fall down on my knees and restart the power Believe me, this fault, it's not what I need Inside the shed

It's another cable, some of it's burned I tried to tape it up, I tried so hard Tape worked so well upon it and the plug Inside my shed, Inside my shed

Tape worked so well upon it Inside my shed, Inside my shed Inside my shed, Inside my shed

good work Nu Order.

heres (yet) another.

Sheds All Stand

Three aisles to go I got three aisles to go At the end of the row Theres a shed there waiting for me

I got Three aisles to go three aisles to go At the end of the row Theres a shed there waiting for me

At the end of the row At the end of the row At the end of the row

Life goes on in this B&Q fantasy Forever at the till Shed held tight beside me Life goes on in this B&Q fantasy Forever at the till Shed held tight beside me

Its a red shed tonight Its a red shed tonight At the end of the road Theres a shed that is waiting for me I got one lawn to mo A vegetable patch to grow At the end of the road At the end of the road Theres sheds on show

Life goes on in this B&Q fantasy Forever at the till Shed held tight beside me Life goes on in this B&Q fantasy Forever at the till Shed held tight beside me

a very good offering - well done

Shed a good thing

Putting on my gardening shoes Stepping on the grass Waiting for the rain to pass I’m gonna cut that grass

Doing things my own way Like cleaning the up Dig out that strimmer I’m gonna work real fast

There’s no sign of sunshire So I’ll have to wait Don’t really matter I’ll just grab my flask Settled in my old chair Down in my shed Stick on the radio A real crackling tune

Getting really comfy Now the rain has passed Climbing up off my ass I’m gonna cut that grass

I don't believe it But I’m just so relaxed Might have a sleep now Oh damm and blast

Can't wait for sunshine High up in the sky Can't wait for tomorrow Time's gonna fly

Now late in the day Shadows creep across the grass That old garden gnome Reminds me of the past But like me it’s getting’ old Way old too fast Better get a move on If I’m gonna cut that grass

Shed what you mean to me Shed what you mean to me Shed what you mean to me Shed what you mean to me Shed what you mean to me Shed what you mean to me Shed what you mean to me Shed what you mean to me Shed what you mean to me

Change of direction Get out the car and head to B&Q Find the paint and brushes Also need some brasswork And even more stuff Now summers comin’ Need the homestead neat Time to chill and feel the heat

Shed what you mean to me Shed what you mean to me Shed what you mean to me

A nice take on that song - keep it up :)

I concur, excellent, could be the winner,

Oh is Tim going to do another competition when we've covered all the tracks to which is the best Shed song and then do a head to head with the originals winner !

And I do mean "Shed all Stand"

More DIY than sheds per se, but who cares... It's Friday!

Varnishing Point

Grow up children, use the buffer And don't sandpaper one another Put it down, can't you drop it? Let me finish my DIY project Tins of stain and tins of varnish Another coat, so it won't tarnish

My wife ain't impressed with me I've spent an hour putting up this shelf I've still got more to do I've just spent 6 hours in B & Q

Go to Homebase, buy some flooring DIY is never boring Nails are short but glue is strong There lies a hope that it has bound And if you try you'll file it too Remember why you're using screws

My wife ain't impressed with me I've spent an hour putting up this shelf I've still got more to do I've just spent 6 hours in B & Q

And I scraped it away A chisel in my hand By the look on the shelf It's going to fall down

Snorri xxx

Turn the heater on.

could be chilly in the shed tonight.

(One, two, three, four) I’ve a shed I have to repair, to repair (Clean it, clean it, clean it) It's the time we must do it, I will do it

I’ve a shed I have to repair, to repair (Paint it, paint it, paint) It's the time we must do it, I will do it

I’ve a shed I have to repair, to repair (Furnish it, furnish it, furnish it) It's the time we must do it, I will do it

I’ve a shed I have to repair, to repair (Light it, light it, light it) It's the time we must do it, I will do it

I’ve a shed I must repair, to repair (Stock it, stock it, stock it) It's the time we must do it, I will do it

I'm so determined so help me No more mistakes, like the last one Perhaps a barby (Shed me...) Perhaps a barby (Shed us...)

Oh, I am willing to take your help (Shed me, Shed me, Shed me) This is the shed….

No more mistakes, like the last one I'm quite determined and there will be No more mistakes like the last one

Ive washed my shed for a long time its always a pain I should damp proof the cracks and the windows from the pouring rain now it resides under a tree's shadows causing a blocked drain

its called a shed and it belongs to DIY enthusiasts its called a shed and it sidelines the wife giving you strife

I've seen some sheds in the valleys I've seen sheds up on the hills I've seen sheds full of alcohol I've seen sheds with bicycle wheels

its called a shed and it belongs to DIY enthusiasts its called a shed and it sidelines the wife giving you strife

Oh sheds are founds from Argos to wickes But when sheds are from homebase is the best Sheds are the cure for every evil Sheds can even store records by the eagles It's called a shed and its so uncool It's called a shed but somehow they've become enviable

Its called a shed and it belongs to every nerd in us It's called a shed and it fills your life so forget the wife Oh sheds sheds sheds sheds sheds It's called sheds and it be longs to us It's called a shed shed she'd she'd she'd It's called a shed and it belongs to anyone who's fussed

Through corrugated sheets I look into your shed It's pleasant when it heats it's there when your locked out your home How many times before did you say it needs repair When you turned off electricity and said it had no chairs Do you believe the roof has been soundproofed A shed that's left alone becomes a shed overgrown

Do you believe B&Q have 20% off tools A lawnmower we could mo beside a garden gnome How many times before did you paint without a care When you turned it black to green and you knew it had some wear The sides are made of stone the leaks from the unknown How many times before did you leave my hose alone

SHED FAITH

I feel so extraordinary The shed’s been erected for me I get this feeling I’m in Homebase A sudden sense of half price sales

That's the price we like to pay I’ve got my rake and you’ve got my money Now I can tend my allotment In the sun before it gets too hot

I used to think that the spring would never come Id plant a seed in the shade of the morning sun The morning sun is the drug that germinates The seed, the bulb and shrub by the gate I used to think that the spring would never come That my patch would be like Snorrimon(s)

When I was a very small boy Very small boys talked to me Now were showing prize onions together It’s the place we want to be

It’s first prize we all crave Our prized onions wins nothing I don't know just where it’s going I guess I’ll get some more growing

I used to think that the spring would never come Id plant a seed in the shade of the morning sun The morning sun is the drug that germinates The seed, the bulb and shrub by the gate I used to think that the spring would never come That my patch would be like Snorrimon(s)

When I was a very small boy Very small boys talked to me Now were showing prize onions together It’s the place we want to be

It’s first prize we all crave Our prized onions wins nothing I don't know just where it’s going I guess I’ll get some more growing

I used to think that the spring would never come Id plant a seed in the shade of the morning sun The morning sun is the drug that germinates The seed, the bulb and shrub by the gate I used to think that the spring would never come That my patch would be like Snorrimon(s)

I used to think that the spring would never come Id plant a seed in the shade of the morning sun The morning sun is the drug that germinates The seed, the bulb and shrub by the gate I used to think that the spring would never come That my patch would be like Snorrimon(s)

Log Vigilantes :

Oh I saw you In the mega store B and Q I was Buying a chainsaw To cut some logs To use that I’m so brave Heating bills I will save With my kindling and logs And some help from matches I want to see my log burner My cracking wood waiting for me I've got to go home To warm through by the stove

You just can't believe The logs I did produce When I finally got my saw And I was chopping wood Oh It felt so good my bills could not lie For my stove I would die And I will see it soon I want to see my log burner My cracking wood waiting for me I've got to go home To warm through by the stove

When I walked through the door My wife she lay upon the floor Her legs were red and sore She got to close to the stove Then I looked into her hand And I saw the receipt She said that I got great deal on the saw But that I didn’t take extended warranty I want to see my log burner My cracking wood waiting for me I've got to go home To warm through by the stove

Good work, Mike!

I think I may just be able to squeeze one in before the pub...

Snorri xxx

I turn sideways to my shed keep my forks from everyone its a jungle that i keep and my patio needs a sweep

and im stepping out of wickes cos homebase prices are all fixed and i might just get a lathe but ive no passion for DIY today

thats the prices of sheds can you fill it if we could buy one now how long will it last

and when this building is on fire save the work tools that you hire i turn pages of the sun and see b&q have a sale on

thats the prices of sheds can you fill it if we could build one now how long will it last

if we could build one now how long will it last if we could build one now how long will it last

Wow - that's is sublime :)

Snorrimon wrote: Good work, Mike!

I think I may just be able to squeeze one in before the pub...

Snorri xxx

Nope... Pub won... :beer2:

Snorri xxx

Snorrimon wrote:

Snorrimon wrote: Good work, Mike!

I think I may just be able to squeeze one in before the pub...

Snorri xxx

Nope... Pub won... :beer2:

Snorri xxx

mmmm have to question your shed status

Tomorrow I got a reworking called "touched by a shed I got".

If there's a demand and people aren't sick of this :(

Touched by the shed I got

I was standing by the checkout when I saw a shed I couldn't look at you I guess I knew it but I never realised That this was B&Q And now I'm down and all alone with every garden gnome I own You can't take that away And with every lawn we rake and the shelf improvements that we make Will fall down someday

And I was touched by the shed I got I never use it but it had 50% off

I never got to buy the things in homebase that I wanted too Because everything I own is a shed without a view And I've never looked at sheds in a sexual way in my life before But then I've never woken up on my sheds floor like this before

And I was touched by the shed I got I never use it but it had 50% off

And I've never looked at sheds in a sexual way in my life before

NO Regret wrote: Touched by the shed I got

I was standing by the checkout when I saw a shed I couldn't look at you I guess I knew it but I never realised That this was B&Q And now I'm down and all alone with every garden gnome I own You can't take that away And with every lawn we rake and the shelf improvements that we make Will fall down someday

And I was touched by the shed I got I never use it but it had 50% off

I never got to buy the things in homebase that I wanted too Because everything I own is a shed without a view And I've never looked at sheds in a sexual way in my life before But then I've never woken up on my sheds floor like this before

And I was touched by the shed I got I never use it but it had 50% off

And I've never looked at sheds in a sexual way in my life before

Excellent work, maybe change the 2nd line to I just went in for glue. cos you always end up buying something WAY MORE EXPENSIVE than what you went in for, I do any way.

NO Regret wrote:

And I've never looked at sheds in a sexual way in my life before But then I've never woken up on my sheds floor like this before

Im sitting in work and burst out laughing at that

Folk were looking at me as im daft!

Jed Stephens wrote:

NO Regret wrote: Touched by the shed I got

I was standing by the checkout when I saw a shed I couldn't look at you I guess I knew it but I never realised That this was B&Q And now I'm down and all alone with every garden gnome I own You can't take that away And with every lawn we rake and the shelf improvements that we make Will fall down someday

And I was touched by the shed I got I never use it but it had 50% off

I never got to buy the things in homebase that I wanted too Because everything I own is a shed without a view And I've never looked at sheds in a sexual way in my life before But then I've never woken up on my sheds floor like this before

And I was touched by the shed I got I never use it but it had 50% off

And I've never looked at sheds in a sexual way in my life before

Excellent work, maybe change the 2nd line to I just went in for glue. cos you always end up buying something WAY MORE EXPENSIVE than what you went in for, I do any way.

Anyone is welcome to adapt lyrics for their own amusement.

Is there a market for a New Shed Order tour and album?

Oh dear, I got another one brewing. I'll start it off. Anyone can jump in

Shedculture

I like watering my plants When it gets late at night I sit in sheds all day And leave with mozzie bites

"Sheds Even Here"

Those weeds which seem to last a lifetime While I plant seeds with care The day begins, with ivy climbing It’souta sight, on the roof up there

No ladders to climb, there’s bloody more daily Spiders live inside Deeper within, beyond the damp proof You see the damage , now make it die

In my shed, space is becoming clearer I've tidied up and moved the rake Counting seeds deep in germination A green thumb a garden make

Paradise (SHED)

If we went to town, we could look in Wicks together If the price is down, I will get some grass seed for yer I want a lawn, I want a lawn, I’ll weed it, I’ll weed it I want a lawn, I want a lawn, I’ll weed it, I’ll weed it

If we could find a shed, we could get the new mower Or we could build our own, cultivate the world forever There's no seed that we can't grow There's a greenhouse I have seen There's no limit to what i can sow There's no level rockery Charlie (Dimmock), I could have seen you there, Charlie, I need you everywhere I want a lawn, I want a lawn, I’ll weed it, I’ll weed it I want a lawn, I want a lawn, I’ll weed it, I’ll weed it

Charlie, I could have seen you there When I looked at you’re big tits, I saw them everywhere There's no place where you can hide em Everywhere I look I see em Don’t hide em away, don’t be mean There's a reason I have seen em

If you find my produce grown, you could sell on the farm forever Shall we leave our tomatos alone, or maybe to the neighbour give her Charlie, I could've seen your boobs When I looked at your big tits, I saw them everywhere I want a lawn, I want a lawn, I’ll weed it, I’ll weed it I want a lawn, I want a lawn, I’ll weed it, I’ll weed it I want a lawn, I want a lawn, I’ll weed it, I’ll weed it I want a lawn, I want a lawn, I’ll weed it, I’ll weed it

Shedculture

I like watering the plants When it gets late at night I mow round in the dark Rake leaves till mozzies bite I dig the ground by day Tidy up my old drain pipe These crazy weeds of mine So long they could be vines

What do I get out of wickes I never buy what’s on my list One if these days you'll go back to your shed You won't even notice your gardens a mess One of these days when you put up your shelf Your realise you can't screw without someone's help In the end you will submit its got to work with a little (drill) bit

I like talking as I sweep The drive and up the path Power tools aren’t so cheap And sometimes leave you a scar A shed without a view Unveils a leaking roof And when the sun goes down You've lost what you have done

What do I get out of wickes I never buy what's on my list One if these days you'll go back to homebase You won't even notice that you bought a gate One of these days when you do-it- yourself Your realise you can't grass without laying seeds first In the end you will cement you’ve got to fix that broken fence

Murder

Hoes! Hoes! Hoes! I hate them!

Shedtastic. Working on "Mr disco" And I to assume rock the shed is to obvious or is it no one really lIkea it!

happy easter everyone. im off to buy a shedload of easter eggs for the kids (and a norweigen passport!)

Oh no, here we go again.......

Any shed stories or bank holiday DIY blunders anyone care to admit?

NO Regret wrote: Any shed stories or bank holiday DIY blunders anyone care to admit?

I got a chainsaw in the sales :)

Hedging your bets lol

Probably my worse effort and I really shed knock the nail on the head (if you parden the pun).

Somewhere like B&Q

This can’t be real My shed is burning How does it feel? Well let’s say its concerning

It had to come The shit has landed It’s time to run The bikes are stranded

Were having a crises midlife Were lost in a tool paradise

Somewhere like B&Q Makes me feel like I use to do Return my shed again Make it new like it was at the start

It’s everything to me The perfect symmetry All that it tried to be It even had a key

I guess what I mean to say Is it could be from homebase The children on holiday Here comes the crown (paint)

Somewhere like B&Q Makes me feel like I use to do Return my shed again Make it new like it was at the start

:\ohwell:

anybody know any spam songs?

Gazman wrote: anybody know any spam songs?

Here's one:-

Spam! Spam! Spam! Spam! Lovely spam! Wonderful spam! Spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam. Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Spam spam spam spam!

Gazman wrote: anybody know any spam songs?

wham! spam! its getting out of hand mod or no mod you can tell its hit the rot do you enjoy what you do and if not then why dont you p*ss off

:\ohwell:

leaf me alone

Down a thousand isles in the store I see a thousand shoppers just like me A hundred tools to choose from I watch them gleaming bright in the light We look on in awe at what to buy It's gone be a very full trolley when I leave Down a thousand isles in the store What do I buy

And off to the garden store There’s plants and shrubs everywhere Another full trolley it is great Gotta get home and unload Now my back hurts

From the front to the back My gardens look great I see my gnomes lined up at the gate From the front to the back To my shed, through the trees We get our gardens done We get our gardens done Every weekend We get our gnomes washed Then they smile

But from my head to my toes My body bleeds and aches Every time I work the yard But for these autumn days leafs to sweep But for these autumn days leafs to sweep Leaf me alone Leaf me alone

get some work done

A rival Shed has opened in the new forum... Come on over - it's a Harris Apex...

Snorri xxx

face(paint)-up

(edit version as even ive lost the will now).

your grass was long ,your shed was blue guess what i got from B&Q

oh how i cannot repair the fork with screws i said oh how i cannot repair the fork with screws we were young and we were pure and life was just a shed door oh how i cannot repair the fork with screws

NO Regret wrote: face(paint)-up

(edit version as even ive lost the will now).

your grass was long ,your shed was blue guess what i got from B&Q

oh how i cannot repair the fork with screws i said oh how i cannot repair the fork with screws we were young and we were pure and life was just a shed door oh how i cannot repair the fork with screws

Just when I was getting bored with this, "Guess what I got from B&Q" made me giggle like a drunk teenager

As there has been a new new order forum created, can we use this one to concentrate on what's important.

Shed songs