The long national nightmare is over....

Winona Ryder was convicted of shoplifting (she was charged with grand theft and vandalism) today.

It was feared that riots would occur with the reading of the verdict, and Beverly Hills police officers stood on the ready for out-of-control celebrities on a shoplifting and looting rampage. However, they were stood down when her verdict was read.

Saks was primed for retalitory attacks from locals if Ryder went free. "Everything Must Go!" sale signs were prepared in the event that Ms. Ryder would be found not guilty.

Charges of racism were hurled at the LA District Attorney's Office by concerned citizens, claiming that "only poor people steal" and that Ms. Ryder was singled out for her celebrity status. The Rev. Al Sharpton, Louis Farrakhan, and Jessie Jackson were approached about leading a rally to support Winona, but could not be reached.

Now Ms. Ryder will bear the brunt of cruel California law: paying a fine, minimal community service, and being forced to sell the judge's script. Justice is truely equal in California, where Ponch and....the white guy whose name I forgot still patrol the roads as California Highway patrol (CHiPS)

(cue CHiPs theme, fade out on two motorcyclists)

:car:

Her only crime was GETTING CAUGHT!:D

Nice one Tabsy, way to tap into our deep seated fears concering ol' Wynonna. Just heard a woman on the radio talking about how this could be a boost for her career; you know, going on talk shows, writing books, etc. Will crime pay in this case? Guess we need to stay tuned.

I love L.A. :)

didn't do halle berry any harm, though she got off her hit & run didn't she?

& of course our own hugh* "blew" any chances of staying with liz hurley, but upped his profile no end

*NB not sHUGHzv

The exception being George Michael who didn't sell an extra record after the toilet incident.

CHiPS 8pm weeknights on BRAVO

ya gotta love it ;)

Originally posted by DoN CHiPS 8pm weeknights on BRAVOya gotta love it ;)

john. john was the white man of non-latino-descent on CHiPs. and now we can truly ask ourselves with a straight face: which ryder is harder, shaun or winona?

john. john was the white man of non-latino-descent on CHiPs.

Weren't they called Jon Puncherello & Erik Estrada ?

beep, beep, beep, CHiPs will return in a moment

Originally posted by Grigori Rasputin > Originally posted by Green> Nice one Tabsy, way to tap into our deep seated fears concering ol' Wynonna. Just heard a woman on the radio talking about how this could be a boost for her career; you know, going on talk shows, writing books, etc. Will crime pay in this case? Guess we need to stay tuned.

why do you fear Wynona's big brown beaver???

Start Primus song now!!!

Oh, I was sorely tempted to run with the Primus reference, but I deferred to others. After all of the musician's she's been with, I think that's a pretty good reason to fear her.

Originally posted by The Hacienda must be (re)Built john. john was the white man of non-latino-descent on CHiPs.Weren't they called Jon Puncherello & Erik Estrada ?beep, beep, beep, CHiPs will return in a moment

Didn't Erik Estrada play Frank Puncherello?

Just checked, Larry Wilcox played Jon Baker.