The Real Blair Witch and Friends

Ladies and Gentlemales, would it be possible to generate a straw poll, gathering opini-onion of this latest 'is it real' documentary style fiasco?

For those who did not view this cringe gobbler, the basic premise is thus:

A couple of American kids con their girl friend mate type gear by 'pretending' to kill her whilst video recording the event for posterior. They don't kill her, instead quitting at the last moment under the ruse, 'it was all just a big gag'. Later, the filth discover the tape and then there's a whole judge and jury charade and the viewer is meant to think that the whole show is real flicking between lawyers, the footage, friend, family etc. (almost a bit like the original Blair Witch but more rubbish because there was no hint, nay indication of any witch or in fact anything supernatural).

Am I the only person in the world to think the following: That the show was completely made up, that nothing was real, and that the acting was 'worse' than certain scenes broadcast in the recent 'Flinstones' films.

Answers on a postcard.

How did you happen to see this movie, H?

It was on tele last night, about 10pm. I think we must have been the only people to see it.

I would have watched it but my cable is not working.

I intend to formulate several key questions to extract precisely how your mind functions Pastry. Expect only great things later today. You may need to ingest fish for your dinner as it is rumoured to improve positive brain activity. (tartar sauce also).

Are you able to access UK television through your faulty cable? Was the surround wizard busy on other projects?

The surround wizard was in California, as he usually is.

I was able to access authentic UK static on my faulty cable connection. After watching that for a while, I watched my most recent DVD acquisition, Bang Bang You're Dead, for a second time.

Fish is not usually on my menu, H. Lunch is a turkey sandwich and dinner is bean and vegetable soup.

That certainly sounds like you peak around dinner time.

The surround wizard, is he embroiled in Hollywood movie production or does he simply enjoy cinema at the weekend?

Spill the vegetable beans about the Bang Dead show ...

The surround wizard's regular job has nothing to do with movies or TV, but he does often work as an extra in TV shows.

BBYD is a TV movie about a bullied high school student who might turn into another Columbine type killer. It stars Ben Foster, the actor from Liberty Heights that I mentioned recently.

Do you experience empathy with this movie P?

My high school experience, although far from perfect, and also far from recent, did not involve the type of torments experienced by the character in this movie, H.

That's good to hear.

Although I can't entirely dismiss my suspicion you may own a hunting rifle.

Did nobody witness this show last night? - the response has been a little slow from the guests.

some of the guests.

Was it set in 1988?

It must have been. I have no access to TV in 2003. I wouldn't even know what it might look like.

By 2003 I suspect TV will have evolved to an extent mostly ever show is of an excellent standard. Movies, I'm sure, will be a thrilling and exhilarating experience and I'm guessing a star will emerge, quite unexpectedly, called 'Graham'.

So far in 2003, Graham has yet to emerge, but there's months left to go yet.

I believe you are correct, H. You are the only living person who has seen this film.

I was playing football at 10pm last night. I've got a bit of a groin strain, so I won't elaborate too much on my performance.

For someone so wise, you seem eager to strain your groin.

You can buy a tin of biscuits, you cannot purchase another groin. Although androids will soon allow such a feat.

That Blair Witch has a lot to answer for - the little pheasant.

Did you hear about the German canibal? It was first thought to be murder until the discovery of a tape showing the victim eating his own flesh. Full story

That's quite a story Hand glider. A real find.

I feel a bit sorry for him. Had he known that only 2 years on Pringles would be releasing the 'Mexican' flavour surely he would not have devoured his own testicle sack in haste.

This is the kind of story that will keep this thread alive on the run up to All Hallows Eve.

Originally posted by Huntsman I intend to formulate several key questions to extract precisely how your mind functions Pastry. Expect only great things later today. You may need to ingest fish for your dinner as it is rumoured to improve positive brain activity. (tartar sauce also).Are you able to access UK television through your faulty cable? Was the surround wizard busy on other projects?

So, what happened to the probing questions you were threatening me with, H?

Patience my friend. They will be so vigorous I was going to leave you with them overnight.

If you can be patient about my reactions to SPQR, I can certainly be patient about this, H.

By the way, H, have you seen Swingers?