Los Vikingos De Gira (Part 2) Barcelona 15th & 16th July 2006-07-28
So we’re up at 7.30 and on our way to the airport an hour later, what lay ahead was a foowking nightmare. Myself, JG and Al met up with Nick King, Greg, Ness and Dave Legge at the airport, we stood for over an hour in the departure queue barely moving. Then we waited even longer to check through as everyone seemed to be heading to the same area at the same time. Absolute nightmare. We eventually got through to the other side and had to wait even longer as the flight was delayed, luckily for myself and Nick there was a smoking area inside!!! We touched down in Barca about 12 I think, and headed straight for our hotel, after a couple of packets of crisps and the enjoyment of just laying on the bed we were off. Ally was already at the hotel having arrived in Barca the night before, the poor lad was wasted as he hadnae got in till gone 5 in the morning having spent the night with Col, Paul and Lisa, talking Dire Straits for most of the evening :allegedly: We also met up with Gary and Gordy who had not long arrived as well, we set off for Las Ramblas thinking it would be easy to find a taxi, big mistake, we walked about for ages before tracking two down. We arranged to meet at Bar Zurich with Alex, but by the time we got there everyone had decided to meet up with Col, Paul and Lisa as they informed us the rest of the Vikings were paying 11 euros for a beer. Fcuk that. So we headed to Place De Reial, which is one of the same places we were at last year before the Primavera festival, I only remembered this as I spotted a nightclub where we all went and left Mike (who was not on this trip) dancing and chatting up an American bit of stuff. Col and Co were sat outside in the aptly named “Bar Alex” a nice wee gaff with plenty of seats and tables outside, although several people did remark that the place smelled of piss. It was a glorious day, but far too hot for me who dived straight into the shade under the big umbrella, aye, I am a big Jessie. Col kept us entertained about them overdoing it the night before as we explained what a great craic it was in Madrid. I have to say that I much prefer Barcelona, to me it’s a lot more of a beautiful city, although if you listen to Gary explain that 25% of pockets that are picked happen in Barca you cannae help but keep an extra close eye on yer wallet. Ally buggered off for a Maccy D’s and I think we were still in Rounds of 11 which impressed our waiter for the day. The best bit was that he actually carried all 11 beers over to the table, a quite remarkable achievement.
Not long after starting our second beer Ally arrived back with his face tripping him that he had to wait ages for a Maccy D then KFC so he gave up, the waiter was back over quick as a flash and asked if Ally wanted a beer, two minutes later Ally was presented with a two litre beer, the thing was fookin massive and again I was very impressed. We were also joined by Barney Army and Bonzette, then by a lad that used to be a quite prolific poster on the site, Carlos aka Dufford Charleywood (who was in town with his missus) and arranged via Jarvo to meet up with us and also the German Order which now consisted of Norbert, Matthias and Frank. Mr & Mrs Milky had also made both legs of the tour as well.....by train! Fuck That! Though if memory serves they did say they were going first class. The craic was fookin great and the beer was getting sunk unbelieveably quickly, it’s always a pleasure meeting up with this mad bunch, I’d love to print some of the stories, some are just not printable on a site like this, and as for the language and endless inuendo’s (step forward Greg and Alex) you wouldnae believe it if I did print it. During the day we were entertained by both street dancers a la the gay come dancing type thing and endless sellers of red roses, the best example being one poor lad asking Al to buy a red rose only to be met with the most casual of being told to fuck off, he didnae even stop the sentence he was in the middle of. There was also a side show of two particularly dodgy looking Spanish lads pushing and shoving each other and shouting a lot, which was obvious to several of us that it was some kind of ploy to lure numpties away from their tables so they could go on the rob, funnily enough no-one in the square was daft enough to fall for it. Col provided his own entertainment by pulling out Ness’ Scottish Tartan Viking hat complete with built in ponytails as several of us grabbed pictures, there is also a classic of Barney Army dipping into his pink purse, then claiming it was Bonzette’s! Alex, John, Christine, Margaret and Jeanette headed off to find an Irish bar, but everyone else decided to stay where we were, a case of extreme laziness really, plus the place we were in was relatively cheap and the service was ace. JG decided it was time to line the stomach, so several of us joined force by ordering some grub, having already had the pleasure of trying Octopus and Squid the day before in Madrid, I decided to play safe with a couple of Lamb Chops, Egg and Chips which went down an absolute treat, this was swiftly followed by a 2 litre Bocca Grande, which was actually ordered by mistake, Ally did tell me at the time, but I thought fuck it. This would come back to haunt me later as we had another couple of these monsters thanks to Carlos and Dave Legge! Al spent most of the latter afternoon nicking my drinks (as usual) Conversation soon turned to football as Bonzette proved she’s not an ordinary bird, that girl knows her football as she gave me (and earlier Carlos) a grilling.
I managed to get through nearly 40 fags in little under four hours, so I decided to take a stroll round Las Ramblas for some more, in the time I smoked 40, Nick King must have had double that, fook me, that lad can smoke! I got back with another couple of packets for the rest of the day, as well as a packet for Carlos and a spare packet I gave to Nick which would turn into a life saver! Al, Dave Legge, Col, Mr & Mrs Carlos, Paul and Lisa buggered off to Paul’s for some extra refreshment, maybe they would have changed their minds if Col had told them Paul’s apparment was a few floors up and 97 steps up! I have it on good authority that Al was already worse for wear, poor old Dave was taking a pish, when to his horror Al walks in and jumps in the shower, he proceeds to take a piss and turns to Dave and says “It’s alright I’m gonna flush” he then turns on the shower whilst standing under it fully clothed. Daft twat! It’s stories like this that make the whole Viking adventures extremely worthwhile. There are other stories from Paul’s apartment, but some of the stuff that goes on, on the tour, simply has to stay there! About an hour or so later all the lads came back, but Lisa wasn’t going to the gig so she stayed behind to clear up the mess that was left. It was getting on, we had already been at the bar for a good five or six hours, even more of them 2 litre beers were sunk and everyone was in very good spirits, we all decided to head off to the gig, somehow or another the group got separated and I was left with Barney Army and Bonzette, we thought fuck it, lets head to another bar. Luckily enough we found a nice wee Irish pub just next to the Place Reial, and settled down for more football talk, Nick (BA) is famous for his drunken posts on the site and winding up as many people as he can, so we had a good laugh about some of the shite he posts. After yet another couple of beers and a wee argument between Nick and the barmaid over Man Utd fans trashing a couple of pubs, much to mine and Bonz’s amusement during the European Cup Final, we were off to the gig. I can barely remember the journey, though I do believe we got a taxi to the gig. Luckily the venue was the same as the Primavera Festival last year, which is situated near the shore meaning we get the sea breeze, also the ground is carpeted unlike the dust bowl that we had in Madrid. Not long after getting inside we bumped into most of the other Vikings. Unbeknown to us, all of us who were guest listed for Madrid were granted V.I.P access in Barca, meaning exclusive area and a FREE BAR! Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately) no-one let me know about this, the only thing I am gutted about is missing on the exclusive passes, JG explained on the way home that those on the VIP list had to have their passports for ID then get their pictures taken which were superimposed onto the pass with New Order underneath. I would have loved one of them! Ach well, I cannae complain too much, cos we were all having a great time camped outside one of the bars in the main area.
Yet more beers were downed as we headed to the front of the stage with minutes to spare, there were a few more people already gathered down the front, but there were a good 15 of us who just piled straight through. The first people I noticed were Greg and Ness right on the front barrier, now usually at a gig I am right in the middle of the mayhem with the other Vikings, but for this gig I will hold my hands up and say I was completely fooked! I didnae fancy jumping up and down and being elbowed by the likes of Al, so I took the Jessie option and settled between Ness and Bonzette on the barrier, let’s face it, there’s a lot worse places to be at a gig! The crowd were a mixture of young and not so young, and I have to say there were loads of birds down the front, usually there’s a lot more blokes. We also bumped into Andy from Hull who had been in Barca the night before as well and Norbert from the German Order.
The band took stage, to everyone’s delight, I have to say my memories of this gig are far more diluted than the Madrid gig, mainly cos of them 2 litre beers. Vivid memories throughout the gig were of Dave Legge and the German Order taking loads of pictures, Dave went for a different take with his pictures, he decided to shoot the Vikings and the crowd and no New Order at all, afterall there are always loads more of us who take band shots. If you check the NewOrderOnline website you will see the hundreds of pictures that everyone took, there are some really good shots of the band that Ness and Norbert took and loads of us just going mental down the front looking delirious. The band started with the same set as Madrid, Crystal, Regret, Ceremony & 24 Hours and most of us thought we were in for exactly the same set. Then Barney pulls out the melodica and Love Vigilantes starts up, us lot went fookin nuts! That very morning in the hotel with Al and Mark we had discussed the set-list for Barca, I said that Love Vigilantes would come back in, whilst Al and Mark said they would prefer Krafty to WFTSC & Turn, which had been played together at the last couple of gigs and they just didn’t go well together “too lightweight” was Al’s assessment. As soon as the song started I turned round to where Al and Mark were diving about with the thumbs up and a big smile on ma face, I think I bored Ness and Bonz telling them I had predicted this as well. The crowd was fantastic and again better than the night before in Madrid, we were continually being battered against the barrier and Ness definitely ended the gig in bruises. I think I only managed two cigarettes during the gig, meaning it was particularly mad down the front. Working Overtime was a lot better than the previous night as well and again the crowd upped their tempo as well as their singing along, Transmission was followed by Al and Mark’s tip of Krafty, to be honest I can’t remember too much of it, I remember Your Silent Face cos I always have a fag when it starts. Then it was onto the Holy Trinity of BLT, True Faith and Temptation which always pleases the fans, though I am sure several of us would love to hear this being split by a Sunrise or an Age Of Consent. The heat down the front was unbelieveable, I was soaked with sweat and I wasnae even in the ‘mosh pit’ Love Will Tear Us Apart with the now customary shouts of “Come on” for the chorus had the crowd pushing, shoving and diving as much as any other song in the set. Then they were off which gave me a chance to spark another cig with Bonz and Nick King and everyone was talking about Love Vigilantes being back in. The band were back not long after and we were treated to The Perfect Kiss and Blue Monday. As I mentioned above I couldnae go into too much detail cos the beer had taken its toll, the crowd dispersed and all I can remember is heading straight to the nearest bar for another beer, as I wandered back I met up with Greg, Ness, Dave, Ally, Nick, Al and Mr & Mrs Carlos and Mr & Mrs Milky there may well have been others but all I can remember is laying about chatting with everyone and drinking more beer for another hour or so. There is photographic evidence of us standing about and me looking particularly pished. It’s safe to say I can’t remember how I got home or what time it was. I woke up the next day dying for a cigarette, unfortunately I didnae have any, Al and Mark had just got up as well, and Al explained it was me, him and Ally who got a taxi home, I think Mark was still poncing it up with Alex and co in the VIP area. Legend has it that both me and Ally fell asleep on Al in the back of the taxi and he said it was like “having two little boys fall asleep on him” Ally claims that he remembers me falling asleep on Al, but can’t remember falling asleep himself. I decided to phone down to Ally and Nick’s room to see if Nick had any fags, as soon as I heard the word yes, the phone was down and off I went. Nick had kept that spare packet of fags I gave him at Bar Alex which was fookin ace! As I joined him on the balcony for a fag, I clearly remember that there were at least 10 butts on the floor, and Nick had only been up for an hour or so!
I headed up to get ready, as Al had already been on the phone with all the others to arrange a meeting point, our flight wasnae till 5 in the evening, so we decided to go get something to eat and drink. We met up with Dave Legge and the Pompey Order down in reception, and the talk was again about the gig as well as the Italian football scandal going on. We headed off to Bar Zurich to meet up with Alex, Colin, Col and Paul. Greg and Ness followed shortly after, Alex wanted to head to an Irish Bar, unfortunately it was shut, so we headed into the wee Spanish joint instead, where we were all led upstairs to have a sit-down meal, that lasted less than two minutes as Alex started moaning (can’t remember what about though) so we all headed back downstairs and found some seats, whilst Alex, Colin and JG buggered off elsewhere. Luckily for us, Paul who is one of Col’s best mates, speaks the lingo, so he ordered beer for everyone (except Ness who was drinking Gin and Tonic if memory serves) and some starter dishes, unfortunately this consisted of weird thing that live in the sea on wee bits of bread, fuck that! Paul went for a spicy sausage thing, when it was delivered to him it was basically 3 party sausages in sauce on a toothpick! I have to say I had a bit and it was alright, but being that spicy I didnae want any cos that kinda stuff gives me heartburn. After ordering the second round of beers, we were all christened “Jimmy” by the Spanish waiter, this led to the inevitable piss take that I am English and not Scottish, Paul who was out for the first time with us lot found this particularly amusing, whilst Ness always gives me a shoulder to cry on. Luckily this usually peters out within ten minutes and we’re onto the next poor bugger.
Al was that next poor bugger, as he was busy yapping away, Alex had somehow managed to steal his phone and sent out his usual perverted messages to various people in the phonebook. Unfortunately for Al, Alex had managed to send “I want to lick yer bum” to two of Al’s ex’s. Al did not see the funny side as he berated Alex for “being a cunt” luckily Al chilled out after an apology from Alex and Col and Paul started telling us a story about Manchester which had everyone in tears. The story goes that Col, Paul and a mate were in a pub in Hulme, unfortunately their mate upset one of the local nutters, who explained “You’re gonna get the shit kicked out of ya three times today” before disappearing. Not long after a car screeches outside the pub as a few lads pile in and grab their mate, not wanting a serious doing themselves, Col and Paul just sat there as their mate was dragged outside for one helluva kicking, after a good five minutes he was thrown back through the pub doors with the words “Only two more to go” Everyone was in tears of laughter, now the story itself.is quite brutal, but the way Col and Paul told it, it was unbelieveably funny. Paul ordered some more beers and some of the group decided to try the delicacy of SNAILS!!! Ness offered me 100 Euros to try one, she was quikly told to “Get to buggery” I had noticed Greg’s face as he tried one and thought I’d spare myself that grief. Octopus? Squid? Snails? A fookin weird bunch of Vikings this lot! Gies Chicken any day of the week. The day was getting on as Nick, Ally and JG were waiting outside for us to go to the airport, Al was as laid back as ever which I explained to them as they came in for a beer and to join in the madness. That one beer turned into two as no-one wanted to leave, luckily we came to our senses and everyone decided it was time to go. We said our goodbye’s to Col and Paul and thanked them for the hospitality, Alex, Ally and a few of the others were on later flights so we said cheerio to them an all as we headed to the airport just in time for our flights. Unfortunately all the flights were running late, ours was only late by an hour or so, poor Greg and Ness had been delayed by four hours! So we got to the bar for another beer or three. Greg and Ness showed us their digital pictures as we talked about the great time we had over the last few days. Then we were off, us lot managed to grab the last seats on the plane, luckily enough we were all at the back as Al befriended on of the trolley dolleys (Michael I think) who kept us supplied with beer all the way home. One of me best mates Baldrick was waiting for us as we said cheerio to Al and Mark, Nick stayed with us for a couple of cigarettes which were much needed after the flight. I headed off home shortly after and straight down the local to tell uncly John and me mate Malky all about the gigs and the craic.
I’d just like to thank Al and Mark, not only for booking all me flights and accommodation ages ago, but also for being top lads – even if they do snore like fcukin bastards. Alex and Andy Robinson for my first ever Guest List appearance, I was absolutely made up. Then to each and every one of Los Vikingos De Gira. It was one of the best laughs I’ve ever had, so many happy memories and the band were absolutely spot on as well. I cannae wait for the gigs in October, see you all there.
NU OR-DAH!!!!
