What is the combined height of New Order in fathoms ?
What is the circumference of Neptune in fathoms ?
Who was the fella takin 'photos at Hookys soundcheck for Hybrid, press or fan ?
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New Order in fathoms
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Thanks for the clarity r.e. fathoms, also the soundcheck was in N.Y. The 'photographer was 'stage left'
what the f**k?
new order in fathoms?
next time you are at work hit the guy over the head with a very heavy object!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
is he like that bloke with the curly hair and glasses from the fast show?
if so he must be destroyed!
Originally posted by Slippy So what's a league then
'not sure what a league is though I'm assured they're stored 20,000 leagues under the sea , in davey jones' locker.... so Bowie is involved, has he done an Elton with Hereford ? If so, Walkden Town can let him have striker for a few bob ,or a laugh.
Originally posted by His Holiness, The Pope Joy Division are unfathomable. Now I just sound silly.
No change there then
This is one of the best threads I've read this year;)
'dont know, but this did start of as a bit of trout tickle to bait the colonials.... perhaps if I invent the collective height of NO in chains it may flush the more pedantic out.....or shall we go metric ? Has the E.U. published any guidelines, can NO still be bought over the counter by the ounce ?
Originally posted by death of art It's what Hereford will be in next season, all being well.
My arse they will.
Hmm, NO in fathoms: Barney is less than a fathom high, but more than a fathom around. Same with Hooky. Gillian is less in both aspects. Steve is more than a fathom tall. So, calculate :D
Originally posted by This blue-eyed boy that wants to be Hmm, NO in fathoms:Barney is less than a fathom high, but more than a fathom around. Same with Hooky. Gillian is less in both aspects. Steve is more than a fathom tall. So, calculate :D
Okay I think the formula may work, is Billy Corgan to be included or just his head ? For purely live fathoms or special guest fathoms purposes only.
Originally posted by Garymac > Originally posted by This blue-eyed boy that wants to be> Hmm, NO in fathoms:> Barney is less than a fathom high, but more than a fathom around. Same with Hooky. Gillian is less in both aspects. Steve is more than a fathom tall. So, calculate :D
Okay I think the formula may work, is Billy Corgan to be included or just his head ? For purely live fathoms or special guest fathoms purposes only. I dunno, but I know Billy Corgan is more than a fathom tall. He probably shouldn't be included, since he was merely a "guest" on Get Ready.
Originally posted by KnownPleasures > Originally posted by death of art> It's what Hereford will be in next season, all being well.
My arse they will.
There we go, they're a dead cert. Top NOOL Football punditry from Tim's Arse - I'm off to the bookies now.
Originally posted by Slippy Cables? What the hell is a cable?
Cable (US) = 720 Feet Cable (UK) = 0.1 Nautical Mile (607.6 Feet)
Reference: Pub No. 9 American Practical Navigator - Bowditch. Vol. I
So if I live 0.3 nautical miles from my cable internet providers node would I need 3 cables to connect to it 
:p :D
Originally posted by Slippy So if I live 0.3 nautical miles from my cable internet providers node would I need 3 cables to connect to it
Well, if we are to remain true to the thread, you'd need 31 Barneys!! 
Originally posted by Chunks > Originally posted by Slippy> So if I live 0.3 nautical miles from my cable internet providers node would I need 3 cables to connect to it
Well, if we are to remain true to the thread, you'd need 31 Barneys!!
For clarity, is that barneys by the girth or height ?
P.S thanks to everyone whose interest in a patently mathematical ( or bollox ) thread has helped me get a burning envelope , without recourse to pyromania on my first attempt
Originally posted by Garymac > Originally posted by Chunks> > > > Originally posted by Slippy> > So if I live 0.3 nautical miles from my cable internet providers node would I need 3 cables to connect to it
Well, if we are to remain true to the thread, you'd need 31 Barneys!!
For clarity, is that barneys by the girth or height ?
P.S thanks to everyone whose interest in a patently mathematical ( or bollox ) thread has helped me get a burning envelope , without recourse to pyromania on my first attempt
My bad!! That would be his height. 
Originally posted by Slippy Whats was the height of the Hacienda in hands?
As is well documented, the hacienda fell into the hands of the receivers; sadly history doesn't record their collective height. On a more positive note two of my mates, both plasterers,both former regulars of the tuneful ex yacht showroom are currently working at that site ( patchwork and finishing, plaster/drylining fans ). They are'nt sure how many hands high it was,but it's taller now; so they take their big ladders ( aluminium double extension, hardware/tooltime fans ) and some butties
Originally posted by anita 1 fathom = 6' (us)1 fathom = 1.8288 meter
Er, what does 6'(US) mean? I thought a foot was a foot was a foot. I know our friends over the water have different sized gallons, but feet?
Originally posted by Marko > Originally posted by anita> 1 fathom = 6' (us)> 1 fathom = 1.8288 meter
Er, what does 6'(US) mean? I thought a foot was a foot was a foot. I know our friends over the water have different sized gallons, but feet? Different sized gallons ? So is a' ten gallon hat ',bigger or smaller than a New Order tour cap ? Incidentaly, NO caps can hold the contents of a mates stomach ( lager, half digested kebab and carrots; obviously )after an afternoons relaxation in one of the'Dams touristy cafes, so I posit that a NO tour cap is 3/4's of a pint Imperial, with overflow loss at a steady 20%
As of this afternoon, NO is two and five eighths of a fathom tall and the new album will be one sixth of a fathom in diameter, on vinyl.
Originally posted by Slippy I don't think that cap would hold the contents of Barney's stomach
This of course is an unofficial cap, bought on the cheap and as such is not wholly endorsed by Barney or any other band member
New Order from outer space shock!
Von Danniken was right.
Research at a top University has recently proved that if you take the collective fathoms of New Order, times this by the number you first thought of and subtract Barney's birth date, the resulting number is equal to the hypotenuse of the Great Pyramid of Cheops and is also the reciprocal of the diameter of the outer circle at Stonehenge.
From this, it follows that New Order came from the stars thousands of years ago to bring their gifts of wisdom (Hooky), endurance (Barney), humour (Steve) and tea-making (erm...).
Originally posted by death of art New Order from outer space shock!Von Danniken was right.Research at a top University has recently proved that if you take the collective fathoms of New Order, times this by the number you first thought of and subtract Barney's birth date, the resulting number is equal to the hypotenuse of the Great Pyramid of Cheops and is also the reciprocal of the diameter of the outer circle at Stonehenge.From this, it follows that New Order came from the stars thousands of years ago to bring their gifts of wisdom (Hooky), endurance (Barney), humour (Steve) and tea-making (erm...).
Did they bring Ian , or was he already here ? Also Marc Bolan once said, 'my people were fair and had stars in their hair ..' Did Von Danniken establish that the landing zone was in fact Bolans head ? Did anyone bring biscuits or Bakewell tart ?
Originally posted by Slippy My good god will you guys leave Gillian alone
Slippy, when I get the tube/factory allstars (see other thread ) sorted onto disc you may probably like a copy, featuring as it does, a young Gillian.... though obviously not Bolans head
Originally posted by Slippy Actually I seem to have a young Gillian on the Taras Schevchenko video
That's as maybe young slipster..... but she isn't pole dancin
Now here's something that's been bugging me for a number of years - What was the distance between the old Factory club and the Hacianda in light years
(note: Spotnik's gonna lock this thread soon LOL )
Which direction amigo ( sorry just come back from Palma ) Are we goin from the Hac to the Factory, sort of Gunchester to cold optimism ? Or, are we goin from the non-design design of the factory to Ben Kellys take on yacht showrooms ? In short, young Slipster , do we wanna go forward or back, these distances are not the same and we can only touch from one. Think, in goin from the Hac to the fac we can avoid signin Northside and keep James Conversely goin the other way we'd know Wilson was about to buy a fookin pricey table and we could take him to ikea or mfi, thus delayin the creditors for an hour
Barney has asserted that Hell is a full blown tour, so take the distance between all cities visited on the two longest American tours, add the combined venue heights of the Olympia , Liverpool and the Brixton academy ( in hands ) then divide by the circumference of Barney in fathoms. This should be at least the equal of the new album on vinyl ( one sixth of a fathom ), transcribe this info into the letters of the alphabet, this will give you the on-line user name of a band member who visits the site undercover.
But keep it to yerself for now
Originally posted by Garymac Barney has asserted that Hell is a full blown tour, so take the distance between all cities visited on the two longest American tours, add the combined venue heights of the Olympia , Liverpool and the Brixton academy ( in hands ) then divide by the circumference of Barney in fathoms. This should be at least the equal of the new album on vinyl ( one sixth of a fathom ), transcribe this info into the letters of the alphabet, this will give you the on-line user name of a band member who visits the site undercover.But keep it to yerself for now
aye gotit!!
Originally posted by Garymac this will give you the on-line user name of a band member who visits the site undercover.
Remember one of the original lyrics/work in progress title to Sunrise ?
Originally posted by KnownPleasures > Originally posted by Garymac> this will give you the on-line user name of a band member who visits the site undercover.
Remember one of the original lyrics/work in progress title to Sunrise ?
A thought just occured to me - What is the distance between Brixton Academy and the Manchester G-Mex in Parsecs?
why do you care what the distance is in parsnips...
and why did you choose parsnips...why not beets???
or rutabegas???
or carrots???
I don't get you new order fans!!!
Originally posted by Drunken Monkey why do you care what the distance is in parsnips...and why did you choose parsnips...why not beets???or rutabegas???or carrots???I don't get you new order fans!!!
Young Gillian was rumoured to use parsnips and carrots blended in a Waring Kitchen Aid as an hair colourant in the mid eighties And I thought that everyone knew that the carrot cannot be used for measurement purposes, that would be plain silly....stick with a courgette, minimum length 1/16 of a Barney or a radish 1/200 of a Gillian, Not sure about the much debated turnip scale
The swede scale has been adopted in this area as the standard unit of measurement for venues frequented by bands prefering electronic instruments. Although I have recently heard of the marrow scale used for the girth of such band members.
Hence my reluctance to post a comment, the name Cynthia Plastercaster sprang to mind though, probably the kinda thing Hooky would have gone for , once upon a time...... I'm losin the thread, and I thought the Turnip scale was controversial.. I digress; The distance between the Leadmill, Sheffield and Avalon night club New York in Pineapple Heads would be ? ( note,cunning link to question 3 of the initial thread )
Originally posted by Slippy I was just pondering on the weight of Joy Division in hundredweight?
Well, take the weight of Ian and subtract it from the total weight of the three non-female members of New Order. But given Ian's weight, a more appropraite question would be: what would be the length of a hangman's drop for him?
I imagine you're referring to Steve Brotherdale. Terry Mason was their first drummer, even before that.
Originally posted by The Haçienda must be (re)Built > Originally posted by Drunken Monkey> > rutabegas???> > b]
are they ?
The are dis-cusss-TING!!! 
Trust me!!!
Rutabaga Description - The rutabaga is very similar to the turnip except that it generally has yellowish flesh, a more dense root with more side shoots and they are usually harvested at a larger size. Unlike the turnip, the rutabaga has smooth, waxy leaves.
Culture - Requires the same growing conditions as the turnip--cool conditions for rapid growth and good quality. Planting should be done in the spring as soon as the ground can be worked. In the fall, multiple plantings can be made but should be stopped in order for the rutabaga root to form before extremely cold weather occurs. Rutabagas do better in the fall than in the spring due to the longer time they take to mature -- about 30 to 45 days longer than turnips.
Availability - Rutabagas can be found the year round in Texas, although they are not common in most retail outlets due to low demand. Locally grown rutabaga should be on the market from April through July and from October through December.
Selection - Mature rutabaga roots should be four to six inches in diameter and free of bruises and blemishes. Commercially grown roots are often waxed for storage purposes. Rutabagas are seldom sold with tops.
Storage - If stored between 32 to 35 degrees. F. and at a humidity near 90 percent rutabagas will keep for four to six months. Waxed roots will keep under refrigerator conditions for one to two months.
Nutrition Information - A 3-1/2 ounce cooked serving of rutabaga contains 144 calories, 35 percent of the RDA for vitamin C and only 18 milligrams of sodium.
Preparation - Wash and peel rutabagas as you would a potato.
My grandmother used to make us eat these horrid things!!!
So the new album, when released will be two rutabegas in diameter when released on vinyl, takin the maximum diameter of a decent rutabega as our startin point ...Agreed ? Then a fathom is equal to 12 rutabegas laid side by side. If we lay New Order side by side, with Barney in the middle. Would it be possible, allowing for wind velocity ,air temperature and local conditions, for a motorcycle stuntman of some renown to jump over said band on a Harley D or a Triumph Bonneville ?
Never heard of a rutabega?!
If you took all officially released UK 12" singles of NO and put them in a line, how long would the line be in rutabegas?
Originally posted by Slippy Did anyone calculate the total height of Kevin Hewick in nanometres?
No, but Slippy I estimate there to have been between just under 3 fathoms of NO in his haystack , cos I dont think Gillian was on that particular field trip.
Do you concur ?
Originally posted by steve52 Fcuk off slippy!:D
You like that fcuk thing don't ya. I hate fathoms anyway! Stupid measurement!
I thought I would resurrect this thread as there was do much new discussion! :p
Can someone put a padlock on this thread until Christmas, Slippy has been at the caffeine and steve 52's spellcheck is fcuked Lock till 26 of Dec please, boxing day :D
However if as I suspect the yanks dont have boxing day , lock till 12/26/04 , about 5.33 just before the inevitable Bond movie
Yes it was.....
Nostalgia is not what it was
It was either this or Barney live at the M.E.N I think, I figured way too many folk were cleverer than me, so as I was playin Stone Roses at the time, Full Fathom Five I thought why not ... NO in fathoms, snappy title etc at least it'll get the odd look I did pretend someone had asked me though, in case it was shit . Some funny replies though over the months
Originally posted by death of art > Originally posted by KnownPleasures > Originally posted by death of art> It's what Hereford will be in next season, all being well.
My arse they will.
There we go, they're a dead cert. Top NOOL Football punditry from Tim's Arse - I'm off to the bookies now. And this when I thought to myself, NOOL will be a nice little place to while away the day and the thread can look after itself
Well and truly in The Happy House ...cue McGeoch
Originally posted by Slippy Slippy promises this will be his last post to this thread til 26th December! :D
I'll replace your presence on this thread.
Originally posted by Tristan Jayol > Originally posted by Slippy> Slippy promises this will be his last post to this thread til 26th December! :D
I'll replace your presence on this thread.
Disturbing. Very disturbing Tristan.
