SOMETHING AWFUL

Chapter VI: The Sacred Cow That You Festively Slice… IS MURDER

Joy Division:
Duuuhhhhhhh.

Thank you, Joy Division, for casting this seemingly never-ending shroud of gloom over the music world. It’s been more than twenty years since Ian Curtis killed himself, but it’s still not considered acceptable to make fun of his music for being plodding, joyless, heavy-handed, semi-incompetent crap. Let me try to explain Joy Division: in 1977, punk music came along as an antidote to soulless corporate masturbation-rock like Pink Floyd. The punks may not have been able to sing or play their instruments, but they had an undeniably infectiouss energy. Joy Division fell into the “post-punk” category, meaning that they couldn’t sing or play their instruments but they didn’t have any of the energy, either (unless you count Ian Curtis’s Elaine-from-Seinfeld style dancing or his occasional epileptic seizures).

Joy Division started out as just another terrible wannabe punk band. They formed after they saw the Sex Pistols play in Manchester and realized that it took absolutely no talent to form a successful band. Their name comes from a fascination with Nazism and militaristic imagery; the term “Joy Division” is an unsavory reference to unwilling concentration-camp prostitutes or something like that, and their live shows were occasionally backed by scenes of bombing and war. It’s miraculous that they were able to dodge accusations of being Nazis well enough that hardly anyone brings it up today. I’m not saying that I think they were actually fascists, but I do think their whole cooked-up fascist image was pretentious, ill-conceived, and immature. They eventually dropped that in favor or a more gothic/J.G. Ballard approach which suited them a little bit better, but I’m amazed at how easily people let them off the hook for the retarded Nazi idea.

They only managed to squeeze out two albums before Ian Curtis bumped himself off, which surely only adds to their legend. Had they kept following the path they started down, they surely would have gone in the same direction as Bauhaus or The Cure and started making dreadful gothic synth-pop (as evidenced by the fact that the surviving members of Joy Division formed New Order and made, you guessed it, terrible synth-pop). I hypothesize that if Ian Curtis had continued to live and exert his gothic influence over the band, they would have eventually sounded like Siouxie and the Banshees except with a terrible singer. I also hypothesize that Ian Curtis would now be fat.

http://www.somethingawful.com/articles.php?a=1880 for The Smiths and Pavement

yawn!

something really good is actually shit generic journalism

Originally posted by Ian Pillar Chapter VI: The Sacred Cow That You Festively Slice… IS MURDER Joy Division: Duuuhhhhhhh. Thank you, Joy Division, for casting this seemingly never-ending shroud of gloom over the music world. It’s been more than twenty years since Ian Curtis killed himself, but it’s still not considered acceptable to make fun of his music for being plodding, joyless, heavy-handed, semi-incompetent crap. Let me try to explain Joy Division: in 1977, punk music came along as an antidote to soulless corporate masturbation-rock like Pink Floyd. The punks may not have been able to sing or play their instruments, but they had an undeniably infectiouss energy. Joy Division fell into the “post-punk” category, meaning that they couldn’t sing or play their instruments but they didn’t have any of the energy, either (unless you count Ian Curtis’s Elaine-from-Seinfeld style dancing or his occasional epileptic seizures). Joy Division started out as just another terrible wannabe punk band. They formed after they saw the Sex Pistols play in Manchester and realized that it took absolutely no talent to form a successful band. Their name comes from a fascination with Nazism and militaristic imagery; the term “Joy Division” is an unsavory reference to unwilling concentration-camp prostitutes or something like that, and their live shows were occasionally backed by scenes of bombing and war. It’s miraculous that they were able to dodge accusations of being Nazis well enough that hardly anyone brings it up today. I’m not saying that I think they were actually fascists, but I do think their whole cooked-up fascist image was pretentious, ill-conceived, and immature. They eventually dropped that in favor or a more gothic/J.G. Ballard approach which suited them a little bit better, but I’m amazed at how easily people let them off the hook for the retarded Nazi idea. They only managed to squeeze out two albums before Ian Curtis bumped himself off, which surely only adds to their legend. Had they kept following the path they started down, they surely would have gone in the same direction as Bauhaus or The Cure and started making dreadful gothic synth-pop (as evidenced by the fact that the surviving members of Joy Division formed New Order and made, you guessed it, terrible synth-pop). I hypothesize that if Ian Curtis had continued to live and exert his gothic influence over the band, they would have eventually sounded like Siouxie and the Banshees except with a terrible singer. I also hypothesize that Ian Curtis would now be fat. http://www.somethingawful.com/articles.php?a=1880for The Smiths and Pavement

Don't hold back now, say what you mean.....

What a well thought out piece of writing. I totally agree with it.

Sounds like the weird kid with no toys and no mates has eventually figured out "how to type." He's still some way short of "how to think" though.:\ohwell:

Wanker

wtf?????????????? get a life son ! read a few edgar allen poe books ! that will really f**k you up!

god is it really getting this bad ? for f**kd sake norder please release something soon!!!!!!!PLEASE!

Bell End.

Maybe he's a CCR or Lynard Skynard fan. Leave him to fixin' cars on his lawn and drinkin' 40s with Kid Rock

I kid of course...Joy division ruled though, sorry.

Ruled.

.....ruled.

A Twat wrote: "I also hypothesize that Ian Curtis would now be fat"

*...And I also hypothesize that you're a cunt with too much time and possibility to write crap as much as no fookin good taste and Andy Robinson should jump on your sorry shitface. :finger:

Originally posted by One Brain > Originally posted by some cunt> I also hypothesize that Ian Curtis would now be fat.

I'll have to agree with this guy on this one.

I could surely include old... and possibly bald...

http://www.somethingawful.com/yourbandsucks/ there is so much more as well.....

This line almost makes it worth it: "Who else but these idiotic, cultureless half-wits would be caught dead listening to somebody as unabashedly un-cool as...the fish-faced Dave Matthews homunculus John Mayer?" [edited to get rid of the rip on Jack Johnson, who I actually like].

Greg when did you become a journalist. No seriously I don't think even Parky would have a go at JD.

The article is just opinionated piece of twaddle by someone who probably failed to get an autograph from Hookey 15 years ago, and now has it in for the band.

Actually the more I think about it, the more I think that this (http://www.somethingawful.com/yourbandsucks/) is just some elaborate joke.

Huey Lewis & the News as the saviours of Rock indeed.

Originally posted by Ronald Kirsch Actually the more I think about it the more I think that this is just some elaborate joke or way to get some email addresses. Whatever you do I suggest don't email this guy.http://www.somethingawful.com/yourbandsucks/Huey Lewis & the News as the saviours of Rock indeed.

No need to bash Heuy Lewis and the news haha. The point is with this guy, at least I think, is it's one thing to not like Joy Division and have reasons for it. They aren't for everybody, like any artist(s). However, when people like that comment harshly on their obvious high talent or the benefits of their impact it is clear that their intentions are to be a shit-disturber and nothing more.

Having said that you sir need to sit and think about what you've done to Huey's feelings...

Aussies are fookin nutjobs

2. The Breakthrough Cover

The last time I recall performing a full, exaggerated slapstick comedy spit-take was when I heard Orgy (at the height of their fame) being interviewed on MTV and describing themselves as “somewhere between David Bowie and Joy Division.” The only way to make that sentence anywhere near being remotely truthful is to replace the words “David Bowie” with the words “fleeting, ill-gotten success” and the words “Joy Division” with the words “total obscurity.”

Yawn.... Most people have had the time to think through the pros and cons of what a band did 27 odd years ago and come up with their own conclusions. The worst thing I can come up with is that people do stupid shit when they're young. However most (If not all) of them don't at the same time manage to come up with music that influences the rest of the world for decades. (no pun intended etc...)

Also if this is the article I think it is, it comes from a 'having a go at sacred cows' section of that website so the author could just be removing the Michael.

Saw Wire live the other week. Amazing how guys that old can rock that hard GLORIOUS.

somethingawful.com is great for 'photoshop phriday' tho

Incidently anyone know why I can't see my avatar anymore? Was I bad?

Originally posted by nuts wtf??????????????get a life son ! read a few edgar allen poe books !that will really f**k you up!god is it really getting this bad ?for f**kd sake norder please release something soon!!!!!!!PLEASE!

Sessions - 12th April!

I don't care if they're taking the piss, these Something Awful losers seriously want slapped and I'd be more than happy to do it! Who's with me?

'Live shows were occasionally backed by scenes of bombing and war' - errmm when? How come no one else has ever mentioned that before? I think he's getting confused with The Clash there...

ha ha. did you read their radiohead piss take? its great.

i think something awful is a piss take website here. no need to get ratty. gives the kind of view of the world weve been missing since phillip larkin died.

Originally posted by Shelley Blair I don't care if they're taking the piss, these Something Awful losers seriously want slapped and I'd be more than happy to do it! Who's with me?

*Count me in Shelley! Yeah funny and all, but still he's pissing on fookin Joy Division, trying to convince people they had no value at all (that's different from just a joke), no he fookin can't, let's kick the shit outta him!

Originally posted by Ronald Kirsch Actually the more I think about it, the more I think that this (http://www.somethingawful.com/yourbandsucks/) is just some elaborate joke. Huey Lewis & the News as the saviours of Rock indeed.

Yeah, it really is. They may or may not agree with what they say (I'm a member of their forums too), I think I remember one of the editors mentioning that he actually liked some of the bands he was taking the piss out of; it's just all for humour. They're still getting hatemail about an ICP article they wrote two years ago.

Given that I tend to not like what's popular musicwise though, I have just gotten used to hearing bands I like dissed over the years.

The last time I recall performing a full, exaggerated slapstick comedy spit-take was when I heard Orgy (at the height of their fame) being interviewed on MTV and describing themselves as “somewhere between David Bowie and Joy Division.” The only way to make that sentence anywhere near being remotely truthful is to replace the words “David Bowie” with the words “fleeting, ill-gotten success” and the words “Joy Division” with the words “total obscurity.” In case you’re lucky enough not to remember, Orgy was the band who got on the bad side of pretty much anyone who was born before 1985 by doing a highly stylized, finely polished, and absolutely abysmal cover of New Order’s dance-pop classic “Blue Monday.” A cover of Blue Monday, if done properly, if interpreted by a capable and artistically credible band, could work. Orgy, as you might imagine, did it all wrong. They saw fit to infuse it with some sort of steely angriness which made basically no sense for the song. If you’re familiar with the lyrics, you’ll recall that it’s a song which is quite specifically about not knowing how to feel; infusing it with nu-metal anger, of course, destroys the ambiguity of the song, making it nothing more than a soulless parody. Leading off with a cover was certainly a callous and underhanded way to break into the mainstream if ever there was one- apparently, one can just record a cover of one of the best selling twelve-inch singles of all time and put a great deal of promotion behind it and be assured of success. However, success for Orgy based on their own material proved elusive, since their own material was, not surprisingly, terrible.

That's a little more like it. Agreed? Same site.