The Onliners (huge) band - who's in ?

Here's what Liv said in another thread (room 101... hell continued) : "I'm gonna give it all up and become a pop star... who wants to form a band?"

Well, who would like to form a band here ? The Onliners band...

I'm sure would like to be a part of it.

The things I can do : I can play some weak guitar parts, sing with some kind of french tone and come up with catchy tunes...

Don't worry about singing in tune.Just plug yourself into "Antares Autotune" and come out sounding like Cher on bad acid.

Well, I play drums and percussion and occasional keyboards/ samplers with about eight other bands, so perhaps I could come in somewhere, or maybe do a Mark E Smith and start ranting through a loudhailer. I'll be good at that!!!

I like to tweek the knobs on my virtual tb303.But I can't join unless all the songs are called 'Is My Hair Flame Retardent' the lives of several sho-lin kung fu masters are at stake.

give us an amp that goes to 11, and I'll play out-of-tune guitar for any bastard CTD

I can write you some disgustingly bad lyrics

I just thought I could remix your tracks into an hardhouse-trancey-dancefloor club crap, but.. This has already been discussed anyway :)

I will be your loyal roadie.

Any luggages, sir?

I could construct some metallic suits from the popular 'foil-fresh' frisp multi-pack crisps. All I would need to do is turn the completed bags inside out and string them together with a bit of bees wax. For boots I could send out a left and right pringles tube (must know flavours before shipping).

Perhaps some suitable dark shades could be crafted from the tube tops, would beat the obvious trick... which is post consumption - replace the lid then squeeze the tube with all your might... boy that lid flies!

We'd be in danger of looking like the Pet Shop Boys then though Hunts

Originally posted by Seb Briggs We'd be in danger of looking like the Pet Shop Boys then though Hunts

... mmmm.... you have a point. It is a risk. Think of the sponsorship though.

I was thinking it might look a bit more like the hit West End show 'Cats'... or maybe 'Run from your own Wife'?

I could do a bit of really slow break-dancing at the side if required. Buster would obviously be the choreographer

Originally posted by Seb Briggs I could do a bit of really slow break-dancing at the side if required. Buster would obviously be the choreographer

ok Seb

Can we send up line-dancing in our first video?

I just through my monitor out the window of the Hotel I'm living in.

My singing shouldn't be worse than Barney's... and I can play 3 or 4 chords with a guitar.

Originally posted by Benoît Codrons aka Ben from the land of the Klump My singing shouldn't be worse than Barney's... and I can play 3 or 4 chords with a guitar.

I don't know... is that a trick question?

I can sing Barney's part...only that song Lonesome Tonight, that part near the end....I've got a pretty dry dimsim skin stuck somewhere in my throat after that hearty chinese breakfast.

As a "proper" musician of some years' standing, can I have a go please ? Lead guitar/vocals, or bass. Can drum, but looks like there's already enough skill in percussive matters !

I can do all the synth programming and write lyrics. Can't sing a note, but that never stopped hooky.

http://www.modarchive.com/cgi-bin/download.cgi/N/nomore.xm

Ok, we're getting somewhere... :)

Ah but where? more members than Cool and the gang and the Village People getting the p.r.s. cheques and splitting up the money and sharing out would be like winning the lottery and being in a syndicate with China.

I'd like a discussion about Musical Differences,If we can't all agree A.Witherspoon is a musical genius we have some Issues.

Who ?

Any thoughts on a name? I was thinking 'Tungsten Carbide' but I'm not sure it's cutting edge enough and there's no Nazi connertations,maybe The Eagles.

I think we should call the band "Hookfart".

Originally posted by Wank Hi-ass© Any thoughts on a name? I was thinking 'Tungsten Carbide' but I'm not sure it's cutting edge enough and there's no Nazi connertations,maybe The Eagles.

1. Analogous Heroes
2. PissOrder
3. Comic Kino
4. Salford Rules
5. Queensbury Rules
6. Jarvis and the Cockers
7. Huntsman and the Apocalypse
8. The Blair Out Project
9. Buster Klumpy and his unfeasibly large record collection
10. Nandronlone Overdose (N.O. for short, so everyone knows who we are referring to)
11. Fuctifino :)

And I practically AM Hooky on bass...

Originally posted by Okay, I'm Jeff again I prefer name number 11...

I agree but only if it's pronounced fuctifeeno and all knowledge of any other pronunciation is deemed as being misconstrued and contrary to the original intention.

So that's carried, ambiguously.

To return to Klumpy's question, Wank, who is A. Witherspoon?

Audrey Witherspoon was the nom de plume of Andrew Weatherall when he wrote for the Boy's Own fanzine.

I can play drums. Sing back up, if you drown my voice out. Can go-go dance in a thong, I do it relly well in front of my bathroom mirror before I go out. Ooops, to much information. I've always wanted to be part of a band called AGE OF FULLFILLMENT.

Okay, Wank, I do plan to listen some more to those remixes later on today.

Bearing in mind the wonderful news I heard today, we could ressurrect an old band name me and a few mates use to go by yonks ago:

THE JONATHAN KING ASSASSINATION SQUAD.

Howdy!!

Seeing as it was my idea.... can i be the singer... i've not got a bad voice...

Please (I need a purpose in life... *sigh*)

Liv

You could be Gillian, Liv, but a singing Gillian. What do you think ?

Originally posted by Shug I'm okay with a pair of maracas

Ok, Bez.

So, who's who ?

Shug is Bez Huntsy's Barney Liv's Gillian Allen Jarvis's Hooky

but who's Stephen ?

Well, yes, why not Martin on drums. Only trouble is that you have trouble to imagine our good friend as the quiet and mellow Stephen...

Originally posted by Buster Klumpy So, who's who ?Shug is BezHuntsy's BarneyLiv's GillianAllen Jarvis's Hookybut who's Stephen ?

My real name is Stephen and I have some drumsticks (chicken one's in the freezer, like) so surely its me?

No, make it 50,000 words - that way I'll DEFINITELY win....... NO CONTEST!!!!

Well, my friends, may I please please please please please also do some singing!!! (I have always wanted to...!).

And you know what, if we want to go for a good laugh, let me write some lyrics! That's an idea!! wow, I will start immediately.... (to be continued)

Well, I've had to change this thread title a little... It will be a huge band. Maybe we could just not be on stage all at the same time, depending on which song we would each play...

If my previous terms and conditions are acceptable I'd like as my rider: 10 bottles of Fosters Ice served at 3° centigrade,a 1 litre bottle of Absolut Vodka citron,6 cans of Red Bull, again at 3° centigrade,copious amounts of ice, a large club sandwich on a crusty white bloomer.and the same again aftershow but substituting the sandwich for a portion of chips and a carton of curry, do not pour the curry on the chips as I don't like it when they're soggy. P.S. I promise not to make kissing noises if I ever lick my digits to remove excess curry that may become residual on them. If we don't have any gigs, just put my order in at room service.

Originally posted by Shug > Originally posted by Keeper Of The Major Key> > > > Originally posted by Buster Klumpy> > So, who's who ?> > > > Shug is Bez> > Huntsy's Barney> > Liv's Gillian> > Allen Jarvis's Hooky> > > > but who's Stephen ?>

My real name is Stephen and I have some drumsticks (chicken one's in the freezer, like) so surely its me?

Stevie boy, I think you and Marty should put together a 500 word essay on "Why I should be in this ere band"....GO

Here is my 500 word essay:

Let me in.

the end.

Originally posted by Buster Klumpy Well, I've had to change this thread title a little...It will be a huge band.Maybe we could just not be on stage all at the same time, depending on which song we would each play...

Buster, I would like to come on stage to play guitar on Bizarre Love Triangle. I just learned to play the acoustic Frente version...

Well since its such a huge band,CAN I BE THE MANAGER?? I've got an italian sounding name , so that makes me a very relable person, fit for the managers job. And i will be the only one reading the small print at the bottom of the contract.

Originally posted by Coen van der Voort > Originally posted by Buster Klumpy> Well, I've had to change this thread title a little...> It will be a huge band.> Maybe we could just not be on stage all at the same time, depending on which song we would each play...

Buster, I would like to come on stage to play guitar on Bizarre Love Triangle. I just learned to play the acoustic Frente version...

Ok Coen.

Originally posted by Mario Herlaar Well since its such a huge band,CAN I BE THE MANAGER??I've got an italian sounding name , so that makes me a very relable person, fit for the managers job.And i will be the only one reading the small print at the bottom of the contract.

Why not, Mario. Personally, I'm crap at these things...

Well if I'm not allowed in I will stand in the corner and loudly play bum notes on my reedy sounding Vox Teardrop, occasionally interspersing with Emlyn Hughes/Alan Ball impressions along the lines of "right 'Arry everything's fucking bust so we're playing everything through the bass amp"

My group, Liberace's Rotting Corpse, fell apart over musical differences (I wanted to approach it as an Elton John cover band and sing, while the bass player and drummer were heavy into Ted Nugent. I don't have to tell you how difficult this was to work out) so let me offer some advice for the sure-to-be-supergroup: Know your influences. Just because someone says "I love the Sex Pistols" doesn't mean they won't resign themselves to playing Journey riffs....

Some possible group names for ya: The Gashers The Doorknobs Bob Saget's Dead Dogs New Order Mojo and the Jojos The Monkeys of Eternal Damnation Van Halen

You should sign to my new label called Getting FAC'ed by a TORY.

Also, anyone interested in opening the best nightclub in Europe?????

Originally posted by Nicolas LeBlanc Speaking of stuff like that, there was a project once on a Depeche Mode site where fans on this website recorded their own cover of some Depeche Mode songs, and they were put online....Might be something fun to do for New Order don't you think? :)

I'm well up for it, if the others are.... Never let it be said that Liv wasnt up for something...

Liv

Originally posted by Okay, I'm Jeff again You know Liv, you're a real UP person....God, now he's ripping off videos...

*snigger* Liv