Hey!! Have you guys heard the news? Mr Entertainment USA Fiddler On The Sly himself, Mr Jonathan King, has been sentenced to seven years in the slammer for countless gross indecency charges. 
His tally makes Gary Glitter seem like a saint in comparison. What is it with these people? As if being effortlessly ugly, irritating and untalented wasn't enough?? Think of all the great things he has done for us pop-pickers! Gave us the Bay City Rollers!! Shag!! One Hundred Ton and A Feather!!! Farther Abraphart and the Smurps!!! Day-glo Afros (his hairstyle at the time, not a band name of his, though it may just as well have been for all we care...)...
plastered his hideous slug-lipped fizzog all over 80's prime time tv.....even played a part in trying to (and failing)
resurrect the wretched Brit Awards......hey. let's salute the guy!
Years ago, me and a few mates got together in a crazy arthouse/noise band called The Jonathan King Assassination Squad - fired by a mutual hatred of this slimy revolting specimen, and some of the band eventually mutated into Lunatic Fringe. Anyway, we sent him a demo tape purely out of spite, with two songs on it about him. Not surprisngly, we never heard from him at all...but what a laugh anyway.
So, King Hits The Krapper ...and the whole world celebrates.........that'll be a great title for a song that!!! What about it, Onliners Band, whoever you are?!! Slugface!! YOUR TIME IS UP!!! DOWN YOU GO!!!
YEEEEEEEEE-HAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!! 
