'The Sirens have spoken to me' ...

'The Sirens have spoken to me' ...

Like beckoning whispers skimming and curling across a clear blue sea, the Sirens called, and my modest sailing unit was immediately drawn and shattered onto the rocks where the mythical beasts were currently enjoying afternoon tea - and kindly dispersing advanced promotion copies of their latest album to disheveled sailors.

My wireless was still operational - so I immediately took the disk for a spin.

Keeping this brief, and intentionally non-spoiling, I present only the facts as I see them (admittedly in a stunned state by the echoing sonic lure) for anyone that may be disinterested.

'Getting Things Appropriate' was a good album. It may not have excited the senses as 'Low-Light' or 'Technical Lego' did, but after the fan-blower that was 'The Republican', it did raise hope that a new New Order might be just as capable as an old New Order, and certainly with better ability to consume higher volumes of potato snacks. There is always a chance that another 'Republican' will open up in the neighborhood, so I profess to crossing my fingers and both trotters recently in the hope that WFTSC would at least equal GR's overall quality. Returning to the cabin, the disk eased in, began rotating ... and my nostrils began to enflame.

As I drifted away on a hot bed of euphoria, I imagined sketching down on a piece of paper a set of notes to the band themselves ...

'Dear New Order, I've been listening to your music now for some time - over thirty eight years, and I just wondered if you would ever consider writing a set of songs and performing them like you used to do? The stripped down simplicity of 'Low-Light' and 'PC&L' would be preferable. I know this may be hard to do but on the same album can you also put on some material that sounds like the disco tunes of 'Technical Lego', and can you write lyrics which talk about walking over hills and sailing across seas and stuff like that?

I don't know how you would do it - but make it all sound great and make the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.

Yours, Huntsman.'

And so the disk concluded, and I melted out of my dream like state back to reality. I looked up and the Sirens had gone, possibly for good. But I had my token, my gift from the gods.

And there is a god, and I have the proof.

So, H, would it be safe to conclude that you liked it?

So they're making records for Huntsy now? Fucking sell-out bastards....

Give it another 10 listens and your euphoria will be volcanic

I am almost beside myself with joy.

I played track 1 (for the very first time) and I almost passed out.

huntsman wrote: I am almost beside myself with joy. I played track 1 (for the very first time) and I almost passed out.

It's hard to imagine how you must have reacted to track 10.

But to return to track 1, why has nobody commented about the fact that the album starts with 30 seconds of funeral bells?

Are you prepared to now post a short but full account of the album P?

huntsman wrote: Are you prepared to now post a short but full account of the album P?

A world, a day, a life, a journey.  It starts with 30 seconds of funeral bells and climaxes with a song that would not have been out of place at the end of Return of the King.  Sirens indeed, and they mean it.  In a reply to JJ’s “yes,” their album cover has a resounding “no!”

The album reminds me of that movie that begins with a man being hanged and ends with the moment when the rope is fully extended. The whole thing is a flashback. And at the same time it's Ulysses trying to get home.

Sheesh! ... less words is more mental and sensorial imagery. The first review is cryptic, Pastie - but the 'jounery' word helped. It most certainly put me on a journey. I agree with your additional comment; it is like some kind of fictional film.

I am genuinely startled by the similarities with early NO work. Who would have thought it? - in 2005!?

To help you with your next coffee P, I was equally astounded by 'Turps'. Playing it (again) this morning, at the cusp of the chorus, it does provoke a tear. Beautiful. TMW, LMA, T. The circle is complete.

I only found one discrepancy, which is obvious really, and I wouldn't wish to dwindle on it as each NO album has had some minor quibble or other, every one. I'm in a positive frame of mongoose so I won't name them.

I found Dracula's Capsule a very special surprise, especially after the amount of garlic that had been administered around the place. As the tracks concluded I must confess I did become pensive. The statistics were beating themselves after a while as track 1, 2, The Sirens themselves and Krafty Cheese had all passed with flying colours. Why, even the scissors came in handy.

I don't wish to run beyond myself, but I'd happily place this album alongside the greatest of NO's previous outings.

As I said before, the album really has three parts: tracks 1 to 5; tracks 6 to 10; and track 11. Track 11 is really a kind of decompression after the climax of track 10. On each of the two main sides, the potential singles are grouped at the end: 3 to 5 and 8 to 10. Tracks 1, 2, 6, and 7 are clearly not singles, but they do have their own strengths. Side 1 is rustic (guitars) and side 2 is slick (synths).

Have you obtained a vinyl record Patrick?

I've not seen such trumpetting of the importance of sides since the Ark first set sail for Brighton.

Are you prepared to 'name' your favourites? (track numbers of course to keep the veil of privacy).

Hell even the ship's RATS like it!Praise indeed!

huntsman wrote: Have you obtained a vinyl record Patrick? I've not seen such trumpetting of the importance of sides since the Ark first set sail for Brighton. Are you prepared to 'name' your favourites? (track numbers of course to keep the veil of privacy).

10, 3, 5, 8.

We differ, slightly:

1, 3, 9, 10.

Actually, I find that track 1 is the one that's playing in my head today. And the heartbeat on track 9 is one of the many memorable sounds on the album. In fact, I feel that I need more time to become more familiar with all of them.

On track 3, with "Got to catch the midnight train, first to Paris, then to Spain," how could anyone resist that?

And that's the key to it. That moment where the lyric and the music transport you away. To precision P, that particular lyric is stupendous. In close proximity; 'Driving with a document, all across the continent' highlights the old-school 'is New Order about to fall apart' on this song, or are they at the criscendo of beauty.

Track 10's vocal quality is so similar to LMA I can barely eat.

I am so happy about it all I can't tell you.

Yes, H, at that moment one feels one is in good hands once again, and the same feeling comes for me throughout track 10, which always seems to me like the shortest four and a half minutes I've ever experienced. It gives LMA a run for its money, and I never expected that to happen again.

Have the song titles changed on the official release again?

Why do you ask that?

Well Lordsy became Who's Joe? which has become Track 1. For the un-initiated this could become complicated.;)

Ahhh ... I see.

Me and the boy Pats were simply writing track numbers to yet again keep from any spoiling tactic.

I wasn't partial to the down down deeper and download versions so 'Lordsy' is a name I'm not familiar with. 'Who's Jacob' is track 1 - at least on the advanced promo.

For my part, I prefer to use the track numbers for the time being at least because I think the order is rather important, in most cases more important than the names they have attached to the tracks.

huntsman wrote: Ahhh ... I see. Me and the boy Pats were simply writing track numbers to yet again keep from any spoiling tactic. I wasn't partial to the down down deeper and download versions so 'Lordsy' is a name I'm not familiar with. 'Who's Jacob' is track 1 - at least on the advanced promo.

WHO'S JACOB-sounds like a cracker.IS IT?

As I say, Patrick wanted to use numbers until he was used to the running order.

He felt that the numbers were more revelant at this stage of the game, perhaps more so than the song names NO have applied to the tracks.

Far be it for me to spoil tactics. In that case carry on H ( if I may be so bold ).

I can't remember who wrote it P2 (HD) - I think it was Superior DoN Quixote, but when I asked him to conjure a review of the album he politely described his wall of silence as a non-spoilant saving mechanism until the day of days was upon us.

I thought that was very courageous, and I have followed suit.

But listing the track names I think is an acceptable pastime.

Quite frankly in this day and age I'm not even sure if black isn't blue.

And Mister Rockford, sir, of course 'What's Jacob' is a cracker ... its an absolute belter!

I infer, H, that you still think track 5 is the weakest link?

Track 5 - ITYS?

No, I don't.

I don't mind ITYS but then again I haven't played it after securing a copy of the album - pitted against such glorious tunes I will probably return to T5, as suggested a while ago, on a balmy summer evening ... possibly after I've chopped the grass and poured out a nice glass of fully skimmed.

I've been in contact with several companies this morning and have had a few quotes back. The most competitive price has from 'Fiddlers Professional' guarantee that they can not only remove track 11 from the CD, but also remove any previous memory I've had about it. Evidently this has to be done within a few days of hearing it. Move quick! - not bad for £30.

Actually, track 11 has about 15 good seconds starting at about 1:48, contributed by PH.

You've changed your tune, Pastie. You were speaking in tongues of this opus a few days ago and threatening to sell your stake in the ant farm.

The True Huntsman wrote:

You've changed your tune, Pastie. You were speaking in tongues of this opus a few days ago and threatening to sell your stake in the ant farm.

Well, TTH, I believe what I said last Tuesday was that until I got to track 10, I was tentatively leaning toward agreeing with Mr. M that there was a disappointingly high percentage of blandness. I think I also said that once I reached track 10, my opinion drastically changed. Track 10 was (and is) at least the second best thing they've ever done, and it made me realize this album at least is a highly structured whole. On further listening since then, other tracks as well have grown in strength to my ears. In contrast to H, I did not succumb starting with a first hearing of track 1, but track 1 itself is growing on me. I hope that makes things clearer.

Clearer than a cooling glass of lemonade (non-alcoholic) down at the Marske jetty.

Still gobsmacked by two elements of your fable though. Turps better than 99% of previous work? And since when did you ever elucidate so extravagantly? A whole paragraph? Is there a The True Pastie in the ointment?

Is it possible to out-fox a fox?

If this impersonation continues, I will be calling up the 5th Army of Badgers, currently domicile in the Bay of Biscay after trouncing the Espana Cockerels, to decimate your operations room.

It seems that everytime the Fake Myself turns up, DC doesn't?

Unleash your badgers H2, for all I care. They will come up against my Troupe of Genetically Enhanced Geese.

'Genetically Enhanced'?

Sir, Mr. Faux Fir if you please, you obviously haven't seen my badgers. Ever heard of monosodium glutamate?

... thought not.

Put it this way, they don't need to be fed; like your poultry geese.

I just ate a bucket of chips for supper in fact.

My geese have modified necks. Their heads now tower over their enemies and can peck from 30-40metres, no sweat. Assuming your badgers can't clasp a cutless, we're in with a good show.

They aren't so much badgers, more war mongering hedgehogs which look a bit like badgers after the training. They just prefer the name badger than hedgehog.

Impressive stats. on the geese army. The scene is set. Never before has a film looked more likely to go straight-to-DVD than Meet The Fockers.

If your hedgehogs triumph, ransack my control room and unplug my Battle Server of eight Amstrads, I shall gladly relinquish my hat and ciggy and leave this hamlet.

But don't underestimate my personal bodyguard. Perhaps you've heard of the film they made: The Wild Geese. We were of course hoping for Gregory Peck in the main suit, but made do with less fitting names.

The True Huntsman wrote:

If your hedgehogs triumph, ransack my control room and unplug my Battle Server of eight Amstrads, I shall gladly relinquish my hate and ciggy and leave this hamlet.

But don't underestimate my personal bodyguard. Perhaps you've heard of the film they made: The Wild Geese. We were of course hoping for Gregory Peck in the main suit, but made do with less fitting names.

Which track are we talking about now?