To my British cousins....

Hey y'all,

Since I've been posting here, I've noticed with great delight the creative ways in which you use the Queen's English.

Maybe we Americans are just a bland, boring lot for the most part or maybe the New Order fans who post here are just bright, imaginative souls. I suspect that like all things, the answer falls somewhere in the center.

See, I would never have thought to work the phrase "cretinous tosspot" into conversation. Also, there's not much opportunity for me to use "wanker", "tosser", "twat" and especially "c__t" (y'all, c__t really is almost a forbidden word. I mean, not even the most vile gansta rapper uses that word)

Anyway, keep up the good work. And, if y'all have not seen the "I hate Jamie Oliver" site...GO NOW! I nearly "pissed" myself......(see, I'm already learning :) )

Originally posted by Michael McDermott Hey y'all,Since I've been posting here, I've noticed with great delight the creative ways in which you use the Queen's English.Maybe we Americans are just a bland, boring lot for the most part or maybe the New Order fans who post here are just bright, imaginative souls. I suspect that like all things, the answer falls somewhere in the center.See, I would never have thought to work the phrase "cretinous tosspot" into conversation. Also, there's not much opportunity for me to use "wanker", "tosser", "twat" and especially "c__t" (y'all, c__t really is almost a forbidden word. I mean, not even the most vile gansta rapper uses that word)Anyway, keep up the good work. And, if y'all have not seen the "I hate Jamie Oliver" site...GO NOW! I nearly "pissed" myself......(see, I'm already learning :) )

Not much opportunity ? You mentioned J.O. didn't you ?

Anyway, if ye really want some fuckin' swearing, get yer mitts on the book Trainspotting. The Shugster will translate it for you :)

Originally posted by Allen Jarvis The Shugster's a Glaswegian by rites, surely? Trainspotting is a Leith thang.As for c---. Wonderful word when used in the right circumstances.ps. You spelt 'center' wrong.

True, but it's the same lingo within reason. Same way that I can understand Scouse, and can tell the difference between Mags, Mackems and Smog Monsters !

Originally posted by Allen Jarvis The Shugster's a Glaswegian by rites, surely? Trainspotting is a Leith thang.As for c---. Wonderful word when used in the right circumstances.ps. You spelt 'center' wrong.

Exactly, those Leithers have their own lingo and dialect as well as some strange customs i.e. supporting Hibs.

What's a tosspot?

An affectionate turn of phrase used to describe someone who is acting like an 'Oliver'.

Originally posted by zico An affectionate turn of phrase used to describe someone who is acting like an 'Oliver'.

Despite prior claims to the contrary, he does not exist here.

Originally posted by Felix the Cat and his wonderful bag of tricks Fookin hell...I don't think I understood anything that has been said in this thread...of course...I don't speak English...so maybe that has just a wee bit to do with it!!!

So, I take it you don't know anything about tosspots, either, Jeff?

Originally posted by Felix the Cat and his wonderful bag of tricks I figure a tosspot is probably something like a wanker...but at least tenfold!!!!

So you think a tosspot is ten times as bad as a wanker?

Which in turn is about 1/10 of an "Oliver", or 1/25 of a "remix".

I don't know who this Michael guy is, but I think Americans rule and Brits are bland and boring, and your food is yucky!!! Now let me think of an excuse as to why I am posting at a British band website. . .

Now if you limeys could resolve a controversy. . . I have a classmate who comes from new Zealand. She says that using the term "bloody" is very very bad, like saying "fuck" or "cunt". Is this true? Is it a Kiwi thing? Inquiring minds want to know!!!

Originally posted by Iain Curtis I don't know who this Michael guy is, but I think Americans rule and Brits are bland and boring, and your food is yucky!!!

Yucky ? Yucky ? What in the name of J.Oliver is that supposed to mean ? From the country that spawned McDonalds as well....... :)

Originally posted by Iain Curtis I don't know who this Michael guy is, but I think Americans rule and Brits are bland and boring, and your food is yucky!!! Now let me think of an excuse as to why I am posting at a British band website. . .

The fact that you feel justified to name yourself after a Brit, to post on a Brit bands website and to try and convince us that british food is crap compared to Burgers and KFC... makes me think perhaps if us Brits are bland, you muck be really fucking bad to have to try and emulate us! How fucking sad is that....I'm not interested in arguing, but if you read Michaels post he is critisining his own nation, he too is a "yank" not a "limey" as you affectionately call us. If we want to slag off the UK thats our perogative, but when some one from the US or elsewhere does it its out of order....I wouldnt want to slag off America, and you shouldnt have a go at us.

As for bloody, dont know a nuns chuff about Kiwis, but in the UK bloody is nothing, its in the same league is Damn. Fuck and Cunt on the other hand are much less acceptable...but still are an intregal part of my everyday speech.

Lots of girls appear to be offended by cunt, but personally i think its funny, especially the look on peoples faces when i say it, coz the deffo dont expect it from a teacher....

Liv *stands off soap box*

p.s. He may be a fucking tosspot but Jamie Oliver could still cook the socks off any of the US Chefs... lol

Liv, I think he may have been joking!

Originally posted by Patrick Liv, I think he may have been joking!

and are Americans renowned for their use of irony and sarcasm? With all due respect Patrick, im an educated woman so dont patronise me...

Liv

Originally posted by Liv > Originally posted by Patrick> Liv, I think he may have been joking!>

and are Americans renowned for their use of irony and sarcasm? With all due respect Patrick, im an educated woman so dont patronise me...

Well, no, Liv, we aren't generally known for irony and sarcasm, but do you think that those of us who are NO fans are typical Americans?

Liv

I think I did something wrong there.

I'm tempted to edit my message but Frode might catch me.

Originally posted by Patrick I'm tempted to edit my message but Frode might catch me.

Go on Patsy, go for it. Frodo's probably locked in the bell tower with Quasimodo. Or at least he should be!

Well, no, Liv, we aren't generally known for irony and sarcasm, but do you think that those of us who are NO fans are typical Americans? No, you arent stereoptypical Americans, and therefore I shouldnt judge you. Im the same way, the majorty of us arent typical Brits, and people shouldnt write us off as unable to realise a joke, bland or boring. That was all wa trying to say...didnt mean to seem like i was having a go Patrick.

Liv

Originally posted by Shug :finger: Fuckin love the new smilies;)

Shug, the eternal peacemaker. Uniting us with the international love of smilies!!!

Liv, I was joking. My name actually is Iain, my mom was born in Scotland and I applied for dual citizenship a couple years ago but was rejected because of some patriarchal bullshit (that it was my mom and not my dad who was the citizen). But I'm very excited that I am so controversial, just like Andrew Dice Clay.

Thanks, Patrick, for the good word. it is hard sometimes to see the subtleties in writing, especially when you don't know someone. Liv, just love me.

Iain Well, excuse me, i forgot to laugh. My mistake clearly....;)

Ah well, back to the coke commercial...

Liv

P.S. I never doubted the Iain part, it was the Curtis bit that grabbed my attention....

Originally posted by Iain Curtis Thanks, Patrick, for the good word. it is hard sometimes to see the subtleties in writing, especially when you don't know someone. Liv, just love me.

Iain, To be totally honest I was just suprised and somewhat taken aback by an American who is aware of sarcasm, hence my reply to your intial post.

I was clerly wrong to say anything and shall be beating myslef serverely in punishment later....

Liv :angel

Originally posted by Iain Curtis I don't know who this Michael guy is, but I think Americans rule and Brits are bland and boring, and your food is yucky!!! Now let me think of an excuse as to why I am posting at a British band website. . .Now if you limeys could resolve a controversy. . . I have a classmate who comes from new Zealand. She says that using the term "bloody" is very very bad, like saying "fuck" or "cunt". Is this true? Is it a Kiwi thing? Inquiring minds want to know!!!

Americans rule ? Where exactly ? Grenada ? Nicaragua ?Vietnam ? 53rd & 3rd ?

One thing I will agree on though....when you get "bloody" and "cunt" together it is very bad news :)

So then Mr "Curtis", did you change your surname because you didn't want to be associated with a similar sounding Riot Grrl type band, or because like your hero Mr Mayfield you wanted to be seen to transcend the thought processes of us mere bland limeys ?

Originally posted by Liv > Originally posted by Iain Curtis> Thanks, Patrick, for the good word. it is hard sometimes to see the subtleties in writing, especially when you don't know someone. Liv, just love me.

Iain, To be totally honest I was just suprised and somewhat taken aback by an American who is aware of sarcasm, hence my reply to your intial post.

I was clearly wrong to say anything and shall be beating myself serverely in punishment later....

Liv

Shug - Liv just sent me a text to remind me to remind you to download ICQ or one of those instant message things. So I have.

As a lime coloured limey I think I have the definitive answer on the subject of bloody,I recall this rhyme from when I was about 7.

bloody in the bible, bloody in the bucket, if you don't bloody believe me........ fuckit can't remember the last bit.

Anyway, I say bloody infront of my mum and she doesn't hit me anymore for doing so.

Someone called me a "cunting cunt" at 5-a-side last week, which I thought was a bit harsh.

Originally posted by Muffy > Originally posted by Patrick> I'm tempted to edit my message but Frode might catch me.>

Go on Patsy, go for it. Frodo's probably locked in the bell tower with Quasimodo. Or at least he should be!

Well, Muffy, I'm afraid it's too late now, so I'll just let it go. I'm still much enjoying the marvelous musical package, by the way. I particularly like the original Confusion.

Originally posted by Iain Curtis Thanks, Patrick, for the good word. it is hard sometimes to see the subtleties in writing, especially when you don't know someone. Liv, just love me.

I was just trying to do my part to prevent Transatlantic misunderstandings, Iain. It's not that unusual here for things to be written in jest and read as being serious.

Originally posted by Old Blue Someone called me a "cunting cunt" at 5-a-side last week, which I thought was a bit harsh.

One of my mates, a Swansea bloke used to have a particular name fr people playing rugby lke a bit of a cock.... He used to shout in his very srong Swansea accent... "You fucking phallus" Usd me make me piss myself everytime i heard him! lol

Liv

It is a funny that this thread was started because I was thinking of starting one about British "lingo". I know us Americans have our slang but I have to say that I can't understand some of these threads because of all of the British talk. Actually I am very intrigued by it and I want to know what is what. So if anyone wants to start a "Mini British Dictionary" on this thread please explain your wonderful words.

Thanks :)

Quoting Ethel Mertz "I am sorry, we are Americans, we don't speak English!"

Originally posted by Shug USA v BRITAINNo fuckin contest really, what have the brits got going for them? miserable weather - shite public transport - and knobends who sing Brittania rules the waves at the last night of the fucking proms America on the other hand - lovely fuckin weather most of the time - but a bit partial to tornado's and earthquakes, pricks running around with guns, shooting people and trying to be hard - Loud, fat and annoying bastards everywhere, who tell you to "Have a nice day" FUCK OFF YOU WANKERS.God save America from themselves.God save the Queen - yer having a fuckin laugh.Neither of these "Superpowers" are worth the time of day.SO CHILL PEEPS - WE'VE BOTH GOT IT AS BAD AS EACH OTHER.Fuck me - I'm clever - I am considering standing for President, but can't be arsed waiting 3 months to find out if I win :evil:

I can't give you my vote, Shug. You don't come through on your promises on time!! (FINALS!!!). But good luck with that. And if we have such good weather why is it about 20 degrees F and 30 mph winds right now? It's enough to make a person quit smoking! But have a nice day or I'll put a cap in your ass, fuck-o!!!:)

And Liv, there's no need to punish yourself. If you want to serve some sort of penance just throw some dirty little double entendres my way ;)

I need to read the threads before I post but I guess this makes me one closer to one thousand. Anyway, the story of my name. My last name is so long that I was looking for something simple. Nobody I know listens to NO and JD so I figured I would just bastardize Ian's. Plus, I love it when people think they're being clever when they think my middle name is Curtis Only it's not so clever here.:( Plus Shug and Pile o'shit were already taken.

So it has nothing to do with Curtis Mayfield and I have no idea about the Riot Grrl reference.

The End

Originally posted by April It is a funny that this thread was started because I was thinking of starting one about British "lingo". I know us Americans have our slang but I have to say that I can't understand some of these threads because of all of the British talk. Actually I am very intrigued by it and I want to know what is what.So if anyone wants to start a "Mini British Dictionary" on this thread please explain your wonderful words.Thanks :)Quoting Ethel Mertz "I am sorry, we are Americans, we don't speak English!"

Alreet pet. Gaunnae stick it doon in lingoes like so yous all get it sorted. Any particular part of England/Scoatlin you'd like to learn some words from ?

Daint yow no the diffruns of yowyows an yamyams ? Yowyows is frum the otha side the cassle un yamyams is baggoi boys. Them all ates the brummoi boys an all loike. An if yows frum Dudloi yowve gut no chance loike at all moite !

Originally posted by Nigel Spleen > Originally posted by April> It is a funny that this thread was started because I was thinking of starting one about British "lingo". I know us Americans have our slang but I have to say that I can't understand some of these threads because of all of the British talk. Actually I am very intrigued by it and I want to know what is what.> So if anyone wants to start a "Mini British Dictionary" on this thread please explain your wonderful words.> > Thanks :)> > Quoting Ethel Mertz "I am sorry, we are Americans, we don't speak English!"

Alreet pet. Gaunnae stick it doon in lingoes like so yous all get it sorted. Any particular part of England/Scoatlin you'd like to learn some words from ?

Come again? Are you trying to confuse me? :p

Give me any words from anywhere, do you really speak that different?

Originally posted by April > Originally posted by Nigel Spleen> > > > Originally posted by April> > > > b]> > > > Alreet pet. Gaunnae stick it doon in lingoes like so yous all get it sorted. Any particular part of England/Scoatlin you'd like to learn some words from ?

Come again? Are you trying to confuse me? :p

Give me any words from anywhere, do you really speak that different?

Well that was a simple sentence transcribed into Mackem dialect, possibly better known as the area immediately south of the River Tyne and north of the river Wear. Not to be confused with the more commonly known (and equally commonly misused) "Geordie". FTM.

Jeff. I lived in "Nawlins" for 4 years and never heard it pronounced like that unless i happened to be near tourists. unfortunately, that was quite often but...Nawlins was conceived of to sell hats and t-shirts. the correct, or local pronuciation is New (just like it looks) Orluns (i wish i had a schwa on my keyboard--either a short e or u sound) definitely not new orleens. the local dialect is called "Yat" and it may be the ugliest/most annoying accent in the world. I had a good time living there but there is no future for that city. best time to visit is Halloween. all the madness of mardi gras without the tourists. i still don't believe i saw what i saw halloween 95.

Originally posted by Nigel Spleen > Originally posted by April> > > > Originally posted by Nigel Spleen> > > > > > > Originally posted by April> > > > > > b]> > > > > > > > Alreet pet. Gaunnae stick it doon in lingoes like so yous all get it sorted. Any particular part of England/Scoatlin you'd like to learn some words from ?>

Come again? Are you trying to confuse me? :p

Give me any words from anywhere, do you really speak that different?

Well that was a simple sentence transcribed into Mackem dialect, possibly better known as the area immediately south of the River Tyne and north of the river Wear. Not to be confused with the more commonly known (and equally commonly misused) "Geordie". FTM.

Sure........ok? :p

Originally posted by Nigel Spleen Daint yow no the diffruns of yowyows an yamyams ? Yowyows is frum the otha side the cassle un yamyams is baggoi boys. Them all ates the brummoi boys an all loike. An if yows frum Dudloi yowve gut no chance loike at all moite !

Nobody understood the Wolverhampton accent then ?!

Where's wolverhampton? What accent?

Todd

Originally posted by Nigel Spleen > Originally posted by Nigel Spleen> Daint yow no the diffruns of yowyows an yamyams ? Yowyows is frum the otha side the cassle un yamyams is baggoi boys. Them all ates the brummoi boys an all loike. An if yows frum Dudloi yowve gut no chance loike at all moite !

Nobody understood the Wolverhampton accent then ?!

We chose to ignore it...*ahem*

Liv