NEW ORDER LIMERICKS

as requested by shug.... let's go!

i know it's pap but no one else is having a go...

There once was a young man called Barney Who ate one too many a sarnie He'd broken the toaster So now he's a bloater And the ladies no longer go barmy

Ah i know - he's still lovely to me!

Originally posted by Collette Adams Ah i know - he's still lovely to me!

hmmm, me too, i'll fight you for him...

Liv

i won't fight - only because i'd lose! this weekend my mind will be set on other folk as i'm going to see the charlies in nyc

An Ode to Martian Gray

There was a CD called Get Ready That some critics took to with machete And one bloke called Martin Rock the shack was the startin' Of his brains turning into spaghetti

CTD

There once was a song called "Regret" As catchy a tune as you'll get But most of the album It comes from is shite You can download it free on the net !

Just out of interest and by way of comparison, New Order have played 96 dates in the US/Canada since 1986, as opposed to 49 in Britain and 39 elsewhere in the world. So that's 8 more in the States than in the rest of the world put together ! Still moaning ? :)

Of the 37 gigs since the release of Republic, 13 have been in the States, 13 in Britain, 10 in Europe and 1 in Japan.

Current Australian dates excluded from all figures.

I want to see a US tour as well, cos I've never been to the States yet, and was looking forward to it !

There once was a drummer called steve, who never gave his hi-hat reprieve he beat it to shit then mixed it a bit but the audience began to leave.

god thats crap...

Originally posted by Taras Shevchenko New Order was going to Nantuckett...But said "In the States, aw fuck it"...We can't go over there,Lots of shite in the air,We'd rather just toss of in a bucket! I'm not upset at all that they said the US dates are off... Not at all...I'm a glutton for punishment...somebody, kick me in the balls...PLEASE!!!

OK, here he goes: (in stead of kicking....)

Originally posted by Sloppy Giuseppe Just out of interest and by way of comparison, New Order have played 96 dates in the US/Canada since 1986, as opposed to 49 in Britain and 39 elsewhere in the world. So that's 8 more in the States than in the rest of the world put together ! Still moaning ? :)Of the 37 gigs since the release of Republic, 13 have been in the States, 13 in Britain, 10 in Europe and 1 in Japan. Current Australian dates excluded from all figures.

WELL, and how many of these all were in HOLLAND????????????????????????????????

:\puke:

So stop crying amerika!

Originally posted by Dutch Jim says: NO! > Originally posted by Sloppy Giuseppe> Just out of interest and by way of comparison, New Order have played 96 dates in the US/Canada since 1986, as opposed to 49 in Britain and 39 elsewhere in the world. So that's 8 more in the States than in the rest of the world put together ! Still moaning ? :)> > Of the 37 gigs since the release of Republic, 13 have been in the States, 13 in Britain, 10 in Europe and 1 in Japan. > > Current Australian dates excluded from all figures.

WELL, and how many of these all were in HOLLAND????????????????????????????????

:\puke:

So stop crying amerika!

It's yer own fault....you shouldn't have been such miserable bastards back in 1982 and complained about the 40 minute sets !! ;)

Anyone noticed how fit Britney's looking at the moment?

Originally posted by Shug There was once a cool dude called BerNardwho was quick witted and funny and hardbut over the yearsthrough the drugs and the beershe's now like a big tub of lard.Sorry, Sorry and thrice Sorry.Major I was busy at work so I havnae had the time to think up anything remotely amusing mate.;)

Erm........I'm rubbish at limericks so please excuse me!! :D

Originally posted by Hubert Mickle Not as good as the one I've got mate - inspired for the most part from reading about your shameful exploits down in the Big Smook with Liv, Sloppy and friends....There was a young rascal named ShugWho's constantly tippin' "the Jug"But such a big wussCould not sit on a BusWithout givin' his bladder the tug.

Brilliant!

Liv

I knew someone here would like it! :) Cheers!!

That's because "DRUGS" technically does not rhyme with "SHUG"...... ;)

There once was a bassist named Hooky Whose hair resembled that of a Wookie His bass hung real low Made his balls swing to and fro Something funny that rhymes with Hooky

The New Order keyboardist named Gillian? She was sued by the band for ten million! She screamed "UP YER COCK!! I'VE SOLD OUT TO PROG ROCK!!" ....And stormed off to link up with Marillion!

'Movement' was their first release They called track number five ICB It was kinda depressing But they were just messing Ian Curtis, may he rest in peace

'Power, Corruption & Lies' An album not many despise Though 'Your Silent Face' Was not a disgrace I didn't care for 'Ultraviolence'

'Low Life' had 'The Perfect Kiss' A track that not many could miss Two minutes from end I think the intent Was to make you fall back into bliss

'Brotherhood' was the next one in line An album that contained 'Fine Time' Oh wait, that's 'Technique' Whoa shit, I'm a geek I guess I've had way too much wine

And then came the double CD Had 'Subculture', 'Mesh' and 'The Beach' 'Substance' had class But most of it's mass Was set 'round the song 'BLT'

Ok, now it's really 'Technique' Yeah.. Sorry for being such a freak... Now THIS had 'Fine Time' Which I disliked at one time But I now think it's truely unique

Radio 1 Live In Concert As stated, New Order in concert The vocals were good And you quite understood But again, it's still just a concert

Then came the album 'Republic' But it didn't appeal to the public They were used to old dance Not techno and trance But 'World' and 'Regret' were above it

'Get Ready' is the newest of all I bought the import at the mall Remixed 'Crystal' six times And I ran out of rhymes So the last line isn't gonna :)

Originally posted by Sloppy Giuseppe Just out of interest and by way of comparison, New Order have played 96 dates in the US/Canada since 1986, as opposed to 49 in Britain and 39 elsewhere in the world. So that's 8 more in the States than in the rest of the world put together ! Still moaning ? :)Of the 37 gigs since the release of Republic, 13 have been in the States, 13 in Britain, 10 in Europe and 1 in Japan. Current Australian dates excluded from all figures.

I hate it when facts get in the way! ;)

Keep on trying Shug, they are slowly getting better. I won't even try...too hard... there once was a guy on a boat, who thought shit would float, He threw Rock the Shack, From below upper deck, Only to find out his wife smelled like a goat.

Fuck, that's not bad for a Dutch degenerate!! Try and top that one Shug I'm better with this shit in my own language, but that's no fun for you english speakin' folks 'round here

I really hate rock the shack, Its gotta be my least fave track those feedback bits really give me the shits so i had to take get ready back.

Barney is a ham Gillian's a man Steve has got the fits Hooky don't give a shit

Or: There once was a man named Barney who was very short and smarmy He had too much to drink and drug Accidentally ran over Shug

a bit violent, but that's all I got.