Barney's Mammaries

New Order Live At Reading 1998 - finally watched it again in full after falling asleep halfway thru it the other night due to being completely shagged.....noticed that Barney ad-libbed "Blue Monday" rather wittily - "If it wasn't for your BIG PENIS...I'd be a heavenly person today" (Hooky is seen shaking his head in mock distaste in the background), but what really caught my eye were his newly-acquired "tits", occasionally quite clearly seen wobbling as he jumped up and down....!! If that was how he looked then, god only knows how girthsome the Barnster might be right now!! Fuck me - when he stood there next to Gillian at the keyboard towards the end of the encore, she seemed practically flat-chested in comparison (even though she'd clearly put on a bit of motherly middle-aged spread by that point!). Ha! Most revealing - and not to be forgotten in a hurry......

ugh! :\puke:

WOOAAAAAH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAA HAA HAA HAA HAAAAAA!!!...... Was that from the same gig??? Jeezus fookin Choo-rist!!

Now look what you've gone and done Major - he's so huge the border has expanded further to the right... Is this the page's own way of trying to escape from his advancing girth??? Waaa ha ha ha haaaa!!!!

He wants to lose some weight. Its dangerous for him to be that size.

He might get heart trouble...

He might get joint problems...

He might get harpooned...

Still pissin meself lookin at that pic...fookin hell - it even looks like he's got one tit lower than the other!!!! What the fuck was he thinking??? Imagine what would happen if he fell in the Manchester Ship Canal - the city would be swamped by a fookin tidal wave!!!

What's that in his left hand? A small saucer of slim fast?

and is it just me .... or does it look like he's strummed his guitar really hard and made it disappear?

I still love him.... something to grab hold of...

Liv

Not at all Maj - he's actually EATEN the guitar - that's why there's such a funny shaped bulge in his belly. He managed to do this in a split second and none of the audience even noticed. What a clever guy.....

Originally posted by Hubert Mickle Not at all Maj - he's actually EATEN the guitar - that's why there's such a funny shaped bulge in his belly.He managed to do this in a split second and none of the audience even noticed. What a clever guy.....

ha ha ha ha

... hang on... who's that incredibly slim guy on the right of the photo??

Oh my god! What a terrible picture...ha ha....how unflattering is that?! Poor bastard! Was that taken from a recent gig on their tour last October? I can see what you're getting at when you saying tits! Heh heh! And what on earth is he doing with that glass of summat in his hand - looks like he's indeed doing some conjuring trick or summat!!

Its taken from some gig last year....

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Originally posted by Major Tarantino > Originally posted by Hubert Mickle> Not at all Maj - he's actually EATEN the guitar - that's why there's such a funny shaped bulge in his belly.> He managed to do this in a split second and none of the audience even noticed. What a clever guy.....> >

ha ha ha ha

... hang on... who's that incredibly slim guy on the right of the photo??

That, Major, is his roadie presumably, standing by with a replacement guitar in case of emergency...arf!!

BARNEY BACKSTAGE AT READING 98:

[content deleted due to guilt on my part!]

Stevie boy.. you are evil and will rot in hell

Liv

Love you really x

hey Barney, if you are reading this... i am only JOKING. I'd still love new order if you all looked like Vanessa Feltz (pre-diet)!

;)

You lot just crack me up!! Have you two nothing better to do than to keep picking on poor old Barnster? The US posters on here may now have second thoughts about ever wishing to see them play live again after witnessing this gruesome palaver!!

Way-hayyy!! That's brilliant - now what a grand idea that would be - Barney wearing a FEZ.....!!! Ha ha ha ha haaaaa... Justlikethat!! Justlikethat!! ...Ha ha ha ha ha haaaa.....I can just picture him on the next batch of festival dates bouncing on stage with the headgear!! Hoo hoo hoo hooo!!

That's stood me in relatively good stead for another shit 7.30 start at work tomorrow, so thank you guys and gals, I've got to turn in now...toodle pip!

Originally posted by Major Tarantino BARNEY BACKSTAGE AT READING 98:[content deleted due to guilt on my part!]

you big jessie.... lolol You are only worried incase he checks out these pages...

Liv

Yeah - what a chicken! Now others won't be able to share the fun like He and Hubert did....pah!! Cop out!! Plplplplplp!!! :p

Originally posted by Todd (Ben Sweeney) Yeah - what a chicken! Now others won't be able to share the fun like He and Hubert did....pah!! Cop out!!Plplplplplp!!! :p

Stevie boy is a chicken-shit and no mistaking...

Liv

That shirt looks like the one Barney sported at the Hordern show.

He can't help it, his girlfriend's greedy

I admit it.... i'm a chicken... but i don't know why the pic at the top of the page isn't working.

Originally posted by Caroline E He can't help it, his girlfriend's greedy

Originally posted by Major Tarantino I admit it.... i'm a chicken... but i don't know why the pic at the top of the page isn't working.

C'mon Major, you know why - you've only gone and traumatised the bloody server - it can't handle it anymore, having to download that hideous thing any further.....so it's officially clocked off!!

[at least the margin on the right has shrunk back to a more manageable size - there you go man - the PAGE has only just let out a huge sigh of relief and returned to normal. Of course, if you pull such a stunt again, your own computer might just explode...]

Why have you deleted that other picture Major? I haven't even seen it myself yet.

Go on - be a devil, stick it back in!! :) :)

Originally posted by Todd (Ben Sweeney) Why have you deleted that other picture Major? I haven't even seen it myself yet.Go on - be a devil, stick it back in!! :) :)

They don't work anyway, mate. Couldn't stick it back in if i wanted to..... hmm, that could be taken the wrong way! ;)

DOH!!

[oops, sorry, that should be on that other thread of yours shouldn't it??!! ]