infor. about the album due next year!

london records has decided to release the next new order album in a format similar to the oral traditions of aboriginal and native american cultures. this breakthrough style of oral 'singtelling' is intended to bind new order fans together through campfire get-togethers wherein the songs will be shared and the fans can dance without persecution or derision. it is hoped that the songs will be passed down from generation to generation in this unique manner, bypassing modern technology altogether.

london records decided on this format in order to stress the impermanence and change of musical styles throughout time and to demonstrate the innovation of new order's music while creating a deeper symbiotic relationship between the band and its fans.

that may be flawed thinking on behalf on london records. if the fate of new order fans is anything like that of the native americans, or the australian aboriginals, then there isn't much hope for the future of new order's music. in future new order fans will be increasingly pressured to listen and remember britney songs. in some severe cases the records of fans will be taken away from them. it will become increasingly hard for true fans to remember the songs of their youth. The next generation will have no knowledge of new order whatsoever.

at least they haven't perfected the 'osmosis effect' yet. then we would all be inundated with ms. spears's songs.

AgentWood wrote: at least they haven't perfected the 'osmosis effect' yet. then we would all be inundated with ms. spears's songs.

they're trying hard but.

In further new, Qwest has announced a faith-based reissue remastering initiative. The system will involve us praying and Qwest doing nothing.

In leiu of artwork, we will all be required to meditate and adjust our chakras to recieve the images via mind projection through a hired "visualist".

Drat... I was hoping for reel to reel tape.

Bentley wrote: Drat... I was hoping for reel to reel tape.

only after the DAT only release of the first single can we expect a reel to reel.

Also up for release is the ultra rare collectable "wax cylinder" format.

AgentWood wrote: london records has decided to release the next new order album in a format similar to the oral traditions of aboriginal and native american cultures. this breakthrough style of oral 'singtelling' is intended to bind new order fans together through campfire get-togethers wherein the songs will be shared and the fans can dance without persecution or derision. it is hoped that the songs will be passed down from generation to generation in this unique manner, bypassing modern technology altogether.

london records decided on this format in order to stress the impermanence and change of musical styles throughout time and to demonstrate the innovation of new order's music while creating a deeper symbiotic relationship between the band and its fans.

got peyote?

it will also come out on pianola rolls.

I'm half expecting the new album to come out on those sheets you see cranking through the machine at the fair with holes in harping out the music while the monkey dances along. Northern Zimbabwe release only.

i've seena promo hum of one of the songs on e-bay...

I think a sheet music only release is the way to go.

I love this thread.

I hear they've been talking to Kate Bush about releasing an album, and have taken a leaf out of her book.

A press statement will be released, saying:

New Order have finished their new album. We believe it's their best yet, so it's staying in the vaults. Na na na na na.

hibster wrote: i've seena promo hum of one of the songs on e-bay...

what's it going for? i mean, compared to the morse-code only release of 'turn.'

Maybe they should release videos from the next album on Betamax format.:)

Christopher Owens wrote: I hear they've been talking to Kate Bush about releasing an album, and have taken a leaf out of her book.

A press statement will be released, saying:

New Order have finished their new album. We believe it's their best yet, so it's staying in the vaults. Na na na na na.

Alternative Kaiser lyrics?

This just in: for the first concert of 2006, the band's label has hired a fireworks company to play their songs in explosions, thereby leaving the group to not even have to attend the concert at all. This change is also being represented on their forthcoming album, where all 150000 releases come with a self destruct mechanism upon listening to the first 10 bars of their most awesome, catchy, engaging song to date!

It will be the ultimate in fan rareities!

RedKen wrote: Maybe they should release videos from the next album on Betamax format.:)

Well technically Beta had better quality...I heard they still use it for sports highlights on the news.

"OH NOOOOO....BETA!" - Snake

Chris Nash wrote: NEWSFLASH:

New Order to employ Kraftwerk's 'Showroom Dummies' for next album tour.

The bastards will get plastic semi-robots to play a 70 minute version of 'Blue Monday' with 'WIFM' as the encore.

Kraftwerk have since dis-associated themselves with New Order.

It has been reported that this will be the most consistent, cock-up free New Order gig ever.

Unless Keith Allen or Bez get up on stage...

have you told DigiMike about this?

wait...the excitement might be too much. best wait.

No, that's all rubbish. London Records aren't even going to release it at all - it's BODY SHOP who have decided to take control of overseeing its release and its marketing using an amazing new format never before practised in the world called "Smart Bottle Music" or SBM for short. The 10 tracks will be released as ten scented aromatic bottles specially encrypted with a computerised micro-chip that plays each respective track once the tops are unscrewed. This amazing audio-media gadget actually dates from 1982 when Tomorrow's World featured this years-ahead-of-its-time technology on one of its special programmes. Judith Hann was visibly enraptured by this to such an extent that she had to be restrained by fellow presenter Raymond Baxter from touching herself in all sorts of suggestive places as it wasn't the sort of image the beeb wanted to project to its viewing audience.

The great thing about this format is it allows the listener to mix and match each track - even playing them all simultaneously if they so wish - for that completely widescreen all-encompassing New Order aural-orgasmic experience....and as a bonus the room gets filled with all sorts of exotic brain-stimulating aromas emanating from each of the 10 bottles to further enhance each listening session.

The only snag is that the musically-encrypted bottles have a limited working lifespan - approximately equivalent to the average chart tenure of each New Order album - so after no more than three or four weeks, you will have to buy another set of bottles cos the music contained within would be rendered unplayable by then.

Well that puts paid to the bleedin' "Silent Movie" dub promo I bought on e-bay last week. 50 minutes of absolute silence while four blokes took part in piss poor on-stage slapstick.

Thought it was a bit suss.

Obviously a U2 release. Bastards!

Ray wrote: I think a sheet music only release is the way to go.

The remixes-- that's what I'll be waiting for!