I swear I'm not making this up!
From National Enquirer: "New Order Bassist Loves Animals A Little Too Much, Say Authorities.
SALFORD, England--Police in the town of Salford, just outside Manchester, are holding rock star Peter Hook on charges of gross endangerment of a sheep, two billygoats, and the abuse of several dogs over a ten year span.
Hook, 46, was arraigned Monday afternoon after entering a plea of Not Guilty by Reason of Insanity. Reluctant to discuss his case, Mr. Hook forced his way through the press gathered outside the courtroom.
Says Chief Constable David Long, Salford PD, "We discovered Mr. Hook on the night of March 30 in the field of one Mr. Nigel Dingwall in a rural area outside the city limits. When we approached him, he was in a state of full coitus with a young sheep, and was insistent that we allow him to 'finish this last little bit'. We forced him to cease and desist from the sheep, who was then taken into custody as evidence. Mr. Hook was in a state of ill temper, and seemed to be under the influence of alcoholic substances. Later breathilizer tests confirmed our suspicions to that effect.
"Once in custody," the constable continues, "Mr. Hook admitted that such behaviour extended back to over a ten year period, and resulted from stress over the dissolution of Factory Records [Mr. Hook's previous record company]."
When reached for comment, Bernard Sumner [lead singer for New Order] was unable to comment, due to a sudden fit of hysterics.
"We are quite confident Mr. Hook's outstanding record as a spokesman for English rock music, as well as contributing to the English Cup song 'World In Motion', willsuffice to show him to be an upstanding citizen," said Jack Burgess, Mr. Hook's attorney on loan from London Records.
Mr. Hook is being released on his own recognizance, with Salford police warned to keep an eye out for him should he try a repeat offence.
SIMON PEEL, London office, April 1st 2002
PS, a day late, but
APRIL FOOLS!!!!!!!!!!!
