HOOKY judging "SALFORD's GOT TALENT" @ WILLOWS RUGBY CLUB,SALFORD 3rd SEPT

Now then......as an opening to the SALFORD MUSIC FESTIVAL the week after,the WILLOWS VARIETY CLUB at SALFORD RUGBY CLUB are holding a SALFORD'S GOT TALENT show on FRIDAY 3rd SEPTEMBER. TICKETS are £5....and proceeds got to the CHRISTIES APPEAL. A variety of artists...all musical,no dancing dogs/Michelle McManus

and the celebrity judges on hand on the night are

Mr PETER HOOK!!!!!!!!!!

TERRY CHRISTIAN (THE WORD/Local DJ/CELEBRITY BIG BROTHER)

ED BLANEY (ex-THE FALL manager/organiser of SALFORD MUSIC FESTIVAL) plus SILKY DJs providing DJ support during proceedings

and if HOOKY isn't a big enough draw for you...

Me and PEARL DIVERS are one of the entrants!!!!!

Nervous as fook,having your musical hero rip you apart! HA! The things I do for my art!

MONTY wrote:

Nervous as fook,having your musical hero rip you apart!

Get plenty of lube lad

Jed Stephens wrote:

MONTY wrote:

Nervous as fook,having your musical hero rip you apart!

Get plenty of lube lad

Sounds like a FINE TIME

I will see you there! I’m entering and showcasing my unique talents! I will be saying the alphabet while burping; should be pretty special. ………

Darkman wrote: I will see you there! I’m entering and showcasing my unique talents! I will be saying the alphabet while burping; should be pretty special. ………

Not sure there's many in Salford who know the alphabet.

James Thomas wrote:

Darkman wrote: I will see you there! I’m entering and showcasing my unique talents! I will be saying the alphabet while burping; should be pretty special. ………

Not sure there's many in Salford who know the alphabet.

Oooh you cheeky bar-steward!

If Hooky starts banging on about 'What a journey you've been on' or 'this means everything to you' can someone please lob a botle of Tizer at him.

Thanks.

He's no Tweedie (over to you Martin).

James Thomas wrote: He's no Tweedie (over to you Martin).

Good point, Jimbo.

After the state she left that toilet attendant in, I'm not sure Hooky would have her in a fight either...

CHERYL!

Must breathe......breathe!

MONTY wrote: CHERYL!

Must breathe......breathe!

Exactly. I like the way there's just the merest hint - a soupcon if you will - of a camel toe in that photo. How many lasses can obliquely show off their front bottom with such effortless class??

This is why is she is Queen of the Nation's Hearts. Her predecessor - the so-called "Lady" Di - was just a sloaney old whingebag who'd fuck anything with a pulse. But Cheryl truly has that special something. Besides, how was she to know that Ashley was the kind of guy who liked to ram his Nokia up his fucking shitbox?

I bet she's never heard of Salford, mind.

Well she must have heard of Playboy Magazine,whose owner Mr Heffner has just put a contract under her petite nose for 750,000 U.S dollars,in exchange for her getting her Bristols,Bomb Doors and Ringpiece out. Your move Cherl.

No way will she show her pipe

Clayhead Liberation Faction wrote:

This is why is she is Queen of the Nation's Hearts. Her predecessor - the so-called "Lady" Di - was just a sloaney old whingebag who'd fuck anything with a pulse. But Cheryl truly has that special something. Besides, how was she to know that Ashley was the kind of guy who liked to ram his Nokia up his fucking shitbox?

I thought only articles in Closer said things like that.

Except for the 'shitbox' bit. Thats more Nuts.

Pablo Bastardo wrote: No way will she show her pipe

Well aparrently Heff is pushing the boat on this one,serenading her with 'Revenge' songs down the phone as it goes...'We ring in piece,piece aaalllways ring in piece,we ring in piece,piece....always,always' The man wants to see her tea-towel holder,fair play to the lad.

Apparently turning it down, probably holding out for more. Anyone know how much Dannii Minogue doffed off for?

James Thomas wrote: Apparently turning it down, probably holding out for more. Anyone know how much Dannii Minogue doffed off for?

A couple of back issues of "Razzle", last night's warmed-up Chicken Biryani and her bus fare home. Allegedly.

Whoa there Rockafella Fradds,save the budget and don't be a Flash Harry,she's already signed up for a bag of Dolly Mixtures.

James Thomas wrote: Apparently turning it down, probably holding out for more. Anyone know how much Dannii Minogue doffed off for?

Ladbrookes go 6/1 that Playboy will offer upto 4 million dollars before they give up,the same as they stopped at for Jennifer Aniston,according to my source.Might be worth a little wager.I don't think Cheryl will either.

Fradds would you down bookies and say to the clerk'Tenner on Tweedies Hoop please luv'

Boatraceface wrote: Fradds would you down bookies and say to the clerk'Tenner on Tweedies Hoop please luv'

No. But I would say "A monkey on Cheryl's minge, please mate".

She may be happier with a pony.

James Thomas wrote: She may be happier with a pony.

I dunno, James. She's been married to a fucking one-trick pony, after all. Much as I think The Tweedy is fannytastic, I preferred the early model who wasn't quite so terrifyingly high-maintenance. Y'know, when she wasn't quite so confident of her looks and gave the impression that she'd suck you off in the pub toilet in exchange for half a lager & lime and a packet of smokey bacon.

That's the impression I always got anyway.

To be fair to the lass,she's intimated to Heff that if he chucks in'a canny bag of Tudor' her balloon knot could well be all over the next edition,so it's not as if she's completely forgotten her roots.

Your move Heff.

How about GERI? She might be short of a few bob? Squeeze into that Union Jack dress again....

Clayhead Liberation Faction wrote:

James Thomas wrote: She may be happier with a pony.

Y'know, when she wasn't quite so confident of her looks and gave the impression that she'd suck you off in the pub toilet in exchange for half a lager & lime and a packet of smokey bacon.

That's the impression I always got anyway.

So that's where I remember her from!

Come on then....roll call! Who's coming??

I’m ready and willing to flex my wind pipes, with a cover of “Blue Monday” . I got a friend of mine to burp the melody, while I burp the lyrics. Should be pretty special……………………… I hope Hooky likes it! I will see you there Monty…………