Ian's kitchen table
Archived16 replies · 18,436 views
For sale: A copy of 'Razzle's Reader's Wives' that Ian had a wank over. Six billion quid ono (yoko). The jizz is white which represents the cold, barron, hostile environment with which Ian's tortured (torturing?) demons battled throughout his mature years. The girl he shot his wad over has massive jugs which are symbolic of the motherly love he felt so deprived of, triggering lyrics like those of 'Transmission', 'Decades' and 'LWTUA'. She also has a 'beezer arsehole' which is the kind of language Ian used when pissed as an ironic counterpoint to the darkness and sadness of his wounded yet wondrous world. Please buy it.
For sale: A sheet of bog paper Ian wiped his jacksie with in February 1980. 6755543333391743509 quid yoko ono. The shit is brown and if you take the word 'brown', mix the letters up, add some more letters, take some letters away, then mix them all up again, you get 'Deborah and Natalie': compelling evidence Ian's heart remained with his family even whilst bonking that Belgian bird. His crack was caked with crap 'n' cack, irresistably reminiscent of the ambiguous, enigmatic and often troubling wordplay that would haunt the lyricism of this period. The fact he was prepared to unsmear pooh from his privatest parts not just piss from his penis represents his unflailing, fearless desire to get to the bottoms of things not just deal with dick heads. Buy it but sort the shitting, I mean shipping, out yerself cos I really can't be fucked. For an extra 5 pence Paul Morley will write a book about it but he's lost his thesaurus so the release date can be officially fixed at between now and 5096.
That's not news really, it had been sold on ebay once before way back in '05 for a much smaller sum - but that had been before that bloody moovie.
Michael Monkhouse wrote: For sale: A sheet of bog paper Ian wiped his jacksie with in February 1980. 6755543333391743509 quid yoko ono. The shit is brown and if you take the word 'brown', mix the letters up, add some more letters, take some letters away, then mix them all up again, you get 'Deborah and Natalie': compelling evidence Ian's heart remained with his family even whilst bonking that Belgian bird. His crack was caked with crap 'n' cack, irresistably reminiscent of the ambiguous, enigmatic and often troubling wordplay that would haunt the lyricism of this period. The fact he was prepared to unsmear pooh from his privatest parts not just piss from his penis represents his unflailing, fearless desire to get to the bottoms of things not just deal with dick heads. Buy it but sort the shitting, I mean shipping, out yerself cos I really can't be fucked. For an extra 5 pence Paul Morley will write a book about it but he's lost his thesaurus so the release date can be officially fixed at between now and 5096.
That guy's a fool, he's crossed the line.
Hooky dedicated his show in Glasgow on Friday night to "Ian Curtis's kitchen table", which I thought was strange at the time but now makes sense.
on Thursdays Newcastle show (which was fcking well impressive - especially Movement) Hooky took the piss big time... saying Barneys probly bought it etc... Nice to see they still love each other
The really hardcore JD fanboys seem to buy or want anything that has anything to do with Ian.....
![[blackeye]](/emoticons/blackeye.gif){kind=small}
Could it have been a rock-type styled bar or something? They could probably make that much money back in less than a year on people who'd want to have a drink at Ian's table. Combine with a nice photo of Ian over the table = cash cow.
Debaser wrote: It didn't seem worth starting a new thread for this. Here's Bernanrd telling the NME he fears the Ian Curtis museum may become a monument to suicide. If you can hear him that is... NME
It's a ghoulish idea, why would anyone want to go into the house and the room where a young man had ended his life?
I hope someone buys the house to live in it if it's in reasonable condition.
I can see why people visiting Manchester might want to go to places which are associated with Joy Division and New Order but the house where the lead singer killed himself? No thanks.
I've been to Macclesfield a few times over the years - the last on my way to Jodrell Bank - and it is a quaint little English town but I've never felt the need to visit Barton Street or IC's grave. There are JD fans out there who take that side of things far more seriously conducting "pilgrimages" which is their choice so long as it doesn't infringe on the family's privacy. As a museum the house would almost definitely become a shrine and not one to what people should probably remember him for which is his talent with words and the worldwide impact he had with his band.
The original gravestone was already a bit of a shrine and it got stolen, I don't think you can get more ghoulish than that.
Andy wrote: Fan bid fails
I did find the bit about the doors being thrown open but the kitchen "being off limits" baffling; not so much an elephant 'in the room' but an actual er, room being the elephant.
Just 1% of the amount required amount raised so far, I don't think you can get more of a indictment on the whole idea than that.
Still, at least a mental health charity will allegedly get some money out of this so good for the organiser on that front.
