SLOW JAM

Is it 11? I can't remember... it's been a while.

Anyway, this week its...

SLOW JAM

<<1. best bit, 2. worst bit, 3. why you love/hate it, 4. a percentage rating, 5. tell us your biggest scar and how you got it>>

1. best bit - Radio 1 session version
2. worst bit - all of it, it's shit
3. like ? you taking the piss ?
4. 10% - possibly the worst thing they ever did
5. scar - had 60 stitches in my right leg (8" scar), but apart from a broken leg, 11 knee operations, 12 broken fingers and a dislocated elbow, I've been rather lucky on that front. Maybe I should drink more milk ?

Ooooh... I'm still waiting for Face Up and Special :D

Still i'll have a stab at Slow Jam later..... ;)

1. There isn't a best bit
2. Everything after you press 'play'
3. Liam Gallagher writes better lyrics
4. 0.001%
5. Scar across the back of my right hand that i got from a rope burn aged 14. Silly me.

1. This isn't as bad as people make out, although I really don't like the title. It reminds me of some Church stuff who I quite like, especially in the vocal delivery and jangly riffs.

2. It's a bit meandering, mid tempo, neither here nor there.. I also don't like the drums. And some lines are even more naff than usual. Slow Jam? Sounds more like an interlude on a Coltrane album or somesuch.

3. See above.

4. Is this % rating based on music in general or just New Order? If it's the former I give it a 46%

5. I had a freak accident with a samurai sword and I now have a 14 inch scar running down my beast. It's an ice breaker at social gatherings however.

:\pimp2:

Just a dull boring song. I try and ignore it.

Best scar - I got nutted once breaking up a fight at uni. The knob that nutted me realised soon after that I was trying help out and try to apologise by inviting me round for a cup of coffee. As the scars above my right eye it sort of makes me look macho as well. As macho as I can look that is

i,ve just had to listen to this to remember how dull it is not one of their finest moments biggest scar?... apart from the mental ones its gotta be my appendix

Originally posted by Seb Briggs Just a dull boring song. I try and ignore it.Best scar - I got nutted once breaking up a fight at uni. The knob that nutted me realised soon after that I was trying help out and try to apologise by inviting me round for a cup of coffee. As the scars above my right eye it sort of makes me look macho as well. As macho as I can look that is

Enjoy your hols Briggsy? Can't be arsed blatherin on about Slow Jam again, so a scar story instead. About 5" across my right knee(oooh my legs are deathly white, I look like I've been to Scotland on holiday) I don't know what caused it but it was so sharp it didn't hurt. The moral of the story don't swim in the canal, even if someone dares ya, especially not in winter.

another interesting choice

1.it kinda grows on you, the more you want to ignore it, the more you listen to it

2.words sort of tacky

3.see number 1

4.tough call, could be anywhere from 60-80% depending on the mood

5. biggest scar...love these #5 questions...left thumb got sliced while cutting a bagel 5 stiches...which was matched earlier this year on my right them when I lost a battle with the plastic wrap and cut my thumb on the serrated blade...that hurt

1.) the chorus is rather euphoric and lends itself well to fist-pumping...or something. in a rather laconic way, though. 2.) it's alright, but it's just...alright. mediocre. i hate mediocrity. when things are truly bad, at least they're usually somewhat entertaining in SOME way. mediocrity is just...wallpaper. 3.) i don't love or hate it, and that's what bothers me. 4.) 55% 5.) got a lovely hair-thin scar that goes across my right thigh just over the knee, breaks off, and then continues down almost the middle of the back of my right calf. was in third grade, and we had a substitute teacher that day...we all went running out to recess and there was a big noxious puddle of oil or something similar blocking us off from the back door of school and the playground, so the teachers had us use the alley located right next to the playground. i ran into the fence accidentally and didn't even realise i'd ripped my leg open on a bit of wire sticking out of the fence until another kid came up to me and said, "hey jan, your leg's bleeding." i looked down, and sure enough...it was gushing. and i didn't feel a thing.

so i went up to my substitute teacher, and he turned very very white when he saw what had happened. got marched into the principal's office, where they tried to call my mother and dumped several bottles of peroxide over my leg and tried to get it to stop bleeding.

my mother told them i'd be fine, and didn't seem very worried about it...the principal then took me upstairs to the nurse's office (there was no nurse, but there was an office), bandaged me up, and told me to lie down on the cot they had there for the rest of the afternoon.

fun! it's not a very bad scar at this point...you can barely see it, and only if i point it out to you then. but all i have other than that are from chickenpox...

1...RADIO 1 SEESION VERSION 2...MOST OF IT 3...THE GET READY WEAKEST LINK 4...50% 5...NASTY RUPTURED CRUCIATE LIGAMENT PLAYING FOR BORROWASH VICS IN THE NCEL LEAGUE...HENCE I NOW CAN ONLY PLAY SHITE PUB FOOTBALL

1. it has a best bit?
2. boring, the lyrics are dumb
3. i had to look up the lyrics to remember what it sounded like. it's that forgettable
4. 1.8935785%
5. you assume i have a scar?

Originally posted by PAUL TROWELL 1...RADIO 1 SEESION VERSION2...MOST OF IT3...THE GET READY WEAKEST LINK4...50%5...NASTY RUPTURED CRUCIATE LIGAMENT PLAYING FOR BORROWASH VICS IN THE NCEL LEAGUE...HENCE I NOW CAN ONLY PLAY SHITE PUB FOOTBALL

At least you can do the pub game - I can't even do that these days ! Cruciate and medial in same knee within 5 months.....game over.

1. It is good live!
2. I skip the album version if i am neer the CD player
3. Neither, don't love it but there is worse shite music out there
4. 55%
5. A Z like scar on my left knee from a head on car crash. Got out of the car cos i could feel blood running down my leg and when i looked the tear opened up and i could see my patella underneath. I promptly started to be sick at this moment. A head on crash and i was the only one injured. 3 day before f**ken new years eve as well!!!!!

1 the guitar 2 the lyrics, the synth noise at the beginning 3 it just doesnt do much for me 4 54% 5 when i was five i was spinning around in circles in my living room to get dizzy. i succeeded in doing so though i fell over and cut my head on a glass table and had to get ten stitches and a bad haircut.

1. It beats arthimetic... i actually like that line...
2. It can drag a bit... 'specailly live wheny uo are waiting for 'em to play sommat else!
3. I'm totally balanced about this one, dont hate it, dont love it...
4. 50% (Blimey i'm sooooo on the fence!)
5. big thick one on my knee where i fell off my rollerboots aged 7....had to wrap it up with me Dad's hanky and go to the hozzie... all rather painful at the time...but quite exciting too..

Liv

HA HA HA!! MY 1500TH POST!!

Anyway, back to the subject

1. Intro - nice scuzzy sounding with bleeps etc...
2. The triteness of the song in general and really shit lyrics - especially the first verse.
3. Not too much of anything really. It just exists as a bit of an album filler. Could have been better written I suppose, the potential was there in the intro (the first 30 or so secs).
4. 45.67583246439834259800876546748%
5. My whole body is one enormous scar.

God, I hate myself.

1. Worst Bit - It's existence. Horrible, embarrasing lyrics, shit instrumention...everything I hate about Rock music in one song.
2. Best Bit - Rerecording Get Ready without Slow Jam and including the superiour B-sides in it's place
3. Everything about this song smells foul (including the BBC Session!)
4. -50% - this song actually detracts from the glory of New Order.

Scar 4inches below right wrist caused by jumping around like a fool listening to Morrissey on the eve of my first Live Moz experience (Dallas 91)...the funny part of this story is my friends mother stuck a maxi-pad on my arm before she drove me to the hospital.

1. Best bit: Couple of okay lyrics .... "The early evening mists Look beautiful to me Was sweeter than a kiss I wish you all could see"

...a lot better than the rest of 'em, elementary school level that they may be. Also like the intro.

2. Worst bit: the really cringe-inducing lyrics that make up the the bulk of this song. Backing vocals are also quite annoying.

3. I do listen to it once in awhile just as a reminder of how bad a song this is.

4. Rating 20%

5. Six inch slash on the inside part of my left arm. The result of being pushed into a swimming pool that had stones on the edge.

Originally posted by Hank Wiseass© > Originally posted by Seb Briggs> [> > Enjoy your hols Briggsy?

Very much cheers Hank. Who'd have thought summer would start in April?

1. The guitar (Barney just seems to let loose like back in the JD days)

2. The lyrics ("I got thirsty for a beer/then I had to go to sea"?)

3. The fade-out, then crucnhing guitar comeback

4. 79%

5. On my chest--open heart surgery when I was a few months old (probably right around the time Ian died....spooky!!!!)

Originally posted by Zizou Zidane > Originally posted by PAUL TROWELL> 1...RADIO 1 SEESION VERSION> 2...MOST OF IT> 3...THE GET READY WEAKEST LINK> 4...50%> 5...NASTY RUPTURED CRUCIATE LIGAMENT PLAYING FOR BORROWASH VICS IN THE NCEL LEAGUE...HENCE I NOW CAN ONLY PLAY SHITE PUB FOOTBALL

At least you can do the pub game - I can't even do that these days ! Cruciate and medial in same knee within 5 months.....game over. WITHOUT TURNING THIS THREAD INTO AN E.R CHATROOM...THIS IS POSSIBLY THE MOST PAINFUL THING IN THE WORLD...IM SORRY TO HEAR YOU HAD TO TOTALLY FINISH....AS YOU SAY AT LEAST I CAN STILL TURN OUT...EVEN IF ITS ONLY AT SWEEPER...CENTRE MIDFIELD NCEL LEAGUE TO SWEEPER IN DERBY TAVERNERS INTER 4...NOT MUCH DIFFERENCE

Originally posted by PAUL TROWELL > Originally posted by Zizou Zidane> > > > Originally posted by PAUL TROWELL> > 1...RADIO 1 SEESION VERSION> > 2...MOST OF IT> > 3...THE GET READY WEAKEST LINK> > 4...50%> > 5...NASTY RUPTURED CRUCIATE LIGAMENT PLAYING FOR BORROWASH VICS IN THE NCEL LEAGUE...HENCE I NOW CAN ONLY PLAY SHITE PUB FOOTBALL>

At least you can do the pub game - I can't even do that these days ! Cruciate and medial in same knee within 5 months.....game over. WITHOUT TURNING THIS THREAD INTO AN E.R CHATROOM...THIS IS POSSIBLY THE MOST PAINFUL THING IN THE WORLD...IM SORRY TO HEAR YOU HAD TO TOTALLY FINISH....AS YOU SAY AT LEAST I CAN STILL TURN OUT...EVEN IF ITS ONLY AT SWEEPER...CENTRE MIDFIELD NCEL LEAGUE TO SWEEPER IN DERBY TAVERNERS INTER 4...NOT MUCH DIFFERENCE

Was ten years ago, so I've had plenty of time to get used to it, do a full FA Coaching badge and keep my hand in. Managed one testimonial game (20 mins of) since then. I probably could have carried on after a year or so at a much lower standard, but who wants to be Chris Waddle or Clive Walker (scaled down !!). From the FA Cup to fuck-up in one swing of a leg, HFS Loans to PFA hand-outs. I'm not bitter, I'm too old and fat, and still on the wall at one Unibond club I think !

1. Best Bit - I love the subtle harmonies in the shout-along chorus and the way the guitars "scoop" into the chorus (ONE and two AND. Powerful. I'd happily let this one run through a couple more minutes.

2. Worst Bit - Aside from the sick/arithmetic rhyme and the non sequitur of "got thirsty...had to go to sea," I think Bernard the guitarist gets a bit lost in the quiet bit. I realize it's a slow jam, but you can do wonderful things after the fact with hard disk editing. If you're going to drop things out like this and noodle away quietly for extended periods, you'd better be Catherine Wheel.

3. Why I Like It - Slow Jam is a delicious cornucopia of guitar tone, baby. I think Johnny Marr showed Bernard (finally) how to set the knobs on his Vox amp, and Steve Osborne had the sense to jam an SM-57 mic right up against that distinctive speaker grill and capture it. Bernard's standard "Shellshock" guitar tone hurts my teeth.

Plus, I like the contrast of the chorus to just about every other pop song put out there in the last 20 years. "I'm 19, I do want the world to change, so I'm gonna get a tatoo and join some suck-ass nu-metal band on some corporate mega-label and bitch about issues I can't possibly begin to comprehend 'cause, like I said, I'm 19 and an idiot."

Viva maturity.

4. Rating - 756% (to balance out the others and bring the forum average up to about 88%)

5. I've got a scar on the inside of my left thigh, inflicted by a wayward spring jutting from the back seat of an old yellow Fiat 128.

Gnu Odor has spoken.

I am petty and small and require fawning recognition of my song review or I will curl up and weep like a little woodland faerie.

Originally posted by Gnu Odor I am petty and small and require fawning recognition of my song review or I will curl up and weep like a little woodland faerie.

well done, Gnu. though i've already stated my opinion on this song, you raised valid points and earn high marks for presentation.

...say, why aren't *you* doing music reviews? the current sorry state of music journalism could use more stuff like this... ;)

Thank you, thank you. My soul may now rest in peace, no longer doomed to wander the sidewalks of Cleveland at night in a sheet. You get looks that way, man.

I've got a great idea for a band. Janaki on guitar and vocals, me on bass and vocals, and Look, Here Comes the Laughing Martian on drums. We don't write, record, or play out because we're always posting here, but we give insightful interviews and our record collection kicks your record collection's shiny vinyl ass.

We rule. Order T-shirts from our Web site.

...it would be the concept band of the 21st century! and rather than intimating we were just a bunch of lazy, sad bastards who couldn't be arsed to do proper recordings or play out or what have you, we could explain it all away by saying that we were making a statement on the current sad state of music and journalism and the general public and how no one gives a toss about the music anymore anyway, so why should we bother making any when we could better spend our time providing juicy soundbites?

heh. you could be onto something...

...and lookie, lookie! as of this post, i am no longer saddled down with being a member of the Republic! granted, it's not nearly as impressive as hitting 1000, but still. 'tis an accomplishment...and proof (as though anyone needed it) that i can blab just as much as anyone.

Originally posted by Gnu Odor Thank you, thank you. My soul may now rest in peace, no longer doomed to wander the sidewalks of Cleveland at night in a sheet. You get looks that way, man.I've got a great idea for a band. Janaki on guitar and vocals, me on bass and vocals, and Look, Here Comes the Laughing Martian on drums. We don't write, record, or play out because we're always posting here, but we give insightful interviews and our record collection kicks your record collection's shiny vinyl ass.We rule. Order T-shirts from our Web site.

Well, are we going to get our Kev to do the producing and extra guitar or will we simply invite him along into the studio on a false premise then proceed to tie him up in chair and force feed him stale dog biscuits (and record his groans and yelps for our own songs) for depriving us of the fourth My Bloody Valentine album....?

:D :D :D

Originally posted by Oh Look! There Goes The Laughing Martian Again!! > Originally posted by Gnu Odor> Thank you, thank you. My soul may now rest in peace, no longer doomed to wander the sidewalks of Cleveland at night in a sheet. You get looks that way, man.> > I've got a great idea for a band. Janaki on guitar and vocals, me on bass and vocals, and Look, Here Comes the Laughing Martian on drums. We don't write, record, or play out because we're always posting here, but we give insightful interviews and our record collection kicks your record collection's shiny vinyl ass.> > We rule. Order T-shirts from our Web site.

Well, are we going to get our Kev to do the producing and extra guitar or will we simply invite him along into the studio on a false premise then proceed to tie him up in chair and force feed him stale dog biscuits (and record his groans and yelps for our own songs) for depriving us of the fourth My Bloody Valentine album....?

:D :D :D

...your hair was long, your eyes was blue...guess what i'm gonna DO TO YOU...

err, uh...nevermind.

:evil2: false pretences are a beautiful thing.

was on the way to work this morning, listening to Gerrrrrrrrready again. hadn't listened in probably a couple of weeks at most.

and i came to a realisation! i DO like "Slow Jam"...but perhaps not quite as an NO song!

especially around the chorus, this really makes me think Jesus and Mary Chain c. Honey's Dead. which isn't a bad thing to me, cos i really do like them and rate that album particularly highly.

though perhaps this means i should run and hide, not only from the rest of the board but from the band as well...

its funny

Originally posted by Grigori Rasputin, the mad mystic of Petrograd can I just tell you about my biggest scar???runs from my sternum to my navel, and was the glorious result of the family cattle ranch...

"Can we just call you G.R.?" he asked, quietly humming the theme from "Dallas."

I like it OK 1.Best Bit-how the song grows on you after time 2.Worst bit-Cheesy lyrics 3.It is kinda catchy dont love it or hate it really 4.75% 5.Biggest scar-I have so many-The little ones I have were from getting my gall bladder removed laproscopically!

Shite, didn't realise you snuck this one out a while ago whilst I wasnt looking Major Wonderboy.... but then it's not one of my favourites anyway...

1: The guitars at the intro. 2: The excruciating lyrics from Barney.....yuk.
3: Don't really like it at all - it's a little on the naff side ("I can't get enough of this..." - indeed!) 4: 25% 5: Scars? Where do I begin? Biggest one I got was right down the back of my head when I was about 15 - always having rucks with the commoners on our old patch in Gateshead - Skinheads versus Rockers versus Mods and Scooterers versus Punks versus Casuals - I've had them all! Every other day was like that scene from fooking Quadrophenia for chrissakes! Thank fook I've left all that behind now....

The best New Order song since TBTHOG.

1. Best bit: the chorus
2. Worst bit: dodgy verses
3. Why I don't like it as much as I could: see #2
4. Percentage: 59%
5. Biggest scar and how I got it: A raised bit of skin on my left elbow (you can only see it when my arm's straight) that I got from a fall on jagged concrete when I was nine. I had a hole in that elbow and one in my right knee (the scar from that's pretty much gone now)

1. the chorus is okay
2. what the fuck is with the lyrics....stupid Barney
3. i was taking a college math class when the album came out, so i'd pop it in while doing homework and that "it beats arithmetic" line always made me smile. goddamn i hate math.
4. 68%
5. scar above my right eye from falling down some stairs and onto a metal stove guard when i was a toddler.

1. Would've been ok as an instrumental, more uptempo a la Let's Go
2. Lyrics, lyrics, lyrics
3. If this is the new direction of New Order, no thank you
4. 5%
5. Scars? Not even one my whole life, no broken bones, no hospital visit. Benefits of being shy and sheltered I guess :\peek:

1. Best bit: erm.....
2. Worst bit: The farty synth noises (if that's what it is) and the terrible, terrible, TERRIBLE lyrics.
3. Love it/hate it? I dislike it less each time I hear it actually, but that's from a starting position of abject disgust, so it's got a long way to go. Almost as bad as "Liar".
4. 40% (and it's only getting that because it's New Order).
5. 6 stitches in the back of my head after a freak "sledging" accident aged 13. Actually, sledge is making it sound a bit grand - it was an old fertilizer sack (we had to make do in the wilds of Herefordshire you know) and I went down a hill backwards headfirst into a dried up stream bed full of rocks that only appeared at the last minute. I've never been the same since. :)

I actually like the opening verse...:D

Could do without this one

6/10