The Taboo Dating Game

From Yahoo! Personals and all near Walhalla:

Bachelorette No. 1:

I am a grad student in library science. I like to read, I like sensible shoes, and I also like short skirts. I like good music and a great bottle of wine. I like drinking beer beside a lake. I love being female. I don't like spelling. I hate putting abstract ideas into words. I like to garden. I want a man who can play with Legos and isn't afraid to use the word "adorable". I want a man who knows what he wants. I want a man to praise me when I'm right and who will tell me when I'm wrong. I want a man who can appreciate earthworms and Nietzsche. Good footrubs are a bonus.

Bachelorette No. 2:

i'm the type of person that likes to think and analyze just about everything.. which always isn't good.. LOL... though i tend to be wrapped up in school, work, or whatever, i really would like to get out and meet some people to have a good time with.. and who knows.. maybe something more.. :) i tend to be shy and guarded but i'm hoping that one day i'll meet someone who will break through my walls.. all i want is what everyone wants.. someone that can unleash my heart.. what can i say? sensitive, patient, and great humor and wit to make me laugh and challenge my intellect. hmm.. someone that just clicks i guess...

Bachelorette No. 3

I’m a 22 year old that has been off the market for the last couple of years. A few months back I broke up with a guy I had had a long distance relationship with for over a year and half. I learned that long distance relationships really don’t work out, so I’m looking for something a bit more closer to home this time. I'm fun loving and just great to hang around. I'm pretty open with everyone, and I have a great sense of humor. If you love life and want someone who can be your best friend and your soul mate at the same time, drop me a line ^_. And yes, I am Wiccan, but religion isn’t that big of a deal to me if you happen to not be Wiccan. As long as you let me be me, then we’ll get along just fine. One thing I do like to get out into the open if you’re interested up to this point, I don’t wish to have kids at any point in my life. So if you wish to have children in the future, then you may want to consider looking elsewhere. But if that fact doesn’t scare you away, then please do drop me a line, because I’d love to get to know you better. I'm just looking for a guy that can help me feel special and at the same time be one of my best friends around. Looks are not too important to me, it's more of what is inside that counts. As long as I can still be me and you accept who I am, I have no prob with doing the same to you. I am however, looking for a one woman man. So if you want to find someone who will be commited to a relasonship, then you need not look any futher. Now I do suggest that you are between the ages of 23-28 if your interested in starting a reslasonship with me (Just a nice helpful hint).

They're all undercover cops looking for pervs anyway...I'm afraid you'll have to try again

You're just anti-Wiccan.

A hex on thee.

Originally posted by Gnu Odor You're just anti-Wiccan.A hex on thee.

Wiccan , what a joke religion; I would rather suffer being a Catholic than be Wiccan

I love how the second one says she's looking for "great wit and humor", but how many girls have you seen swooning over the Three Stooges? Laurel and Hardy? Monty Python? As a note to any girls reading this, please stop with the "sense of humor" spiel. We men know all you want is a hunky dumb-ass, but Tristan's too busy with school right now

I think Bachelorette No. 1 sounds sweet -- I'm not sure about you, though.

A shared love of the Three Stooges is unattainable: no woman, and no gay man, will be turned on by your Shemp Appreciation Night home video festivals.

Perhaps you could slip in a Curlyesque "whoop whoop whoop" while giving that footrub.

Originally posted by Taboo # 7 I love how the second one says she's looking for "great wit and humor", but how many girls have you seen swooning over the Three Stooges? Laurel and Hardy? Monty Python? As a note to any girls reading this, please stop with the "sense of humor" spiel. We men know all you want is a hunky dumb-ass, but Tristan's too busy with school right now

But seriously, Trevor, she wants a guy with great humour and wit, which you've just exhibited. And the Three Stooges are not great humour and wit. Yes, every guy loves them, but it's just an annoyance to women. :D

#2: Analyzes EVERYTHING. Need she say more?

#3: Needs someone to make her feel special. Self-esteem ALERT.

#1: Wears short skirts, likes good music and great wine, drniks beer by the lake.

As Mr. Subliminal would say, it's really up to you, Trevor (#1) to decide for yourself which girl (shag monster) is right for you (#1). Only you can know what subtle personality traits(red push-up bra) are important in a new reltionship (short skirts), to create that special chemistry (hot sex) between two people searching for that special someone (#1). ;)

Originally posted by Gnu Odor I think Bachelorette No. 1 sounds sweet -- I'm not sure about you, though. b]

What, not sure if Trevor sounds sweet?

Any girl who appeciates Nietzsche can't be all bad (or all stupid), right? Don't know about the earthworm thing, though....

I'm just getting over the death of my imaginary girlfriend Denise...why did she have to try and prove you could bungee-jump without a bungee cord? WHY?!

Go with the fourth. At least you won't have to worry about wiccans, earthworms, and a sense of humour. And, you know she won't complain if you listen to NO or pop in a PSB tape here or there.

Want a girl's opinion on this?:D First of all, I used to date a "hunky dumb-ass" way back in 95... After 2 weeks I could not stand looking at him (stupidity you see affects the way you look at someone)... A great sense of humor, on the other hand, is proof of one's intellect and is TOP PRIORITY for some of us females...

Now on our bachelorettes... #3 i agree with Richard.... #2 seems fairly reasonable and (most important) honest #1... hmmmmmm... she "appreciates" Nietzsche but doesn't like putting abstract ideas into words? ... she likes "good music"? that's a bit vague... I mean it could be anything from beethoven to the spice grils, depending on her definition of "good music" ... plus she doen't strike me as the honest type

I don't mean to be mean... but that's what I think

P.S: This is my longest post ever! WOW

And btw I Michael Palin

Originally posted by feline And btw I Michael Palin

Well, I've been told I bear a striking resemblence to him...by myself....staring in the mirror...wishing this damn hump would go away...we can't all be George Clooney or Tom Cruise...

Mr. Clooney and Mr. Cruise... boring How long do you think you can just look at someone without saying a word?

After reading Feline's suggestion, I took another look at #1 and #2, and perhaps Feline is right; things like "good music" are very subjective, and the inability to articulate the abstract ideas she claims to appreciate does raise suspiscion. In retrospect, #2 seems like she might--might-- be the shy, but sweet type. And she wants a humorous and witty guy...Could be worse, Mr. Palin.

Just stick to wanking Trev !

I've decided to have my best friends help me critique the women above, we're gonna make a reality show out of it. Why, here's a picture of my best buds :D

Originally posted by Taboo # 7 I've decided to have my best friends help me critique the women above, we're gonna make a reality show out of it. Why, here's a picture of my best buds :D

I hope you all didn't forget Rudolf Hess' birthday.

I've been in touch with Bachelorette No. 2 and she seems witty and very nice. But...

Since none of us has seen a photo of you, Tabs, tell us...you're not like, deformed or anything? I can honestly tell this girl you're intelligent and funny, but when she asks if you're physically grotesque or missing body parts...well, I'm assuming you're not hideous. Is that fair to say?

Originally posted by Gnu Odor I've been in touch with Bachelorette No. 2 and she seems witty and very nice. But...Since none of us has seen a photo of you, Tabs, tell us...you're not like, deformed or anything? I can honestly tell this girl you're intelligent and funny, but when she asks if you're physically grotesque or missing body parts...well, I'm assuming you're not hideous. Is that fair to say?

Maybe some brave soul should start a thread called "Face up" or some other half-clever title, in which we all post photos of ourselves, so as to have a human face in mind while scribbling out these little communiques. I can just imagine the screams already....

Contrary to my own mythic self-descriptions, I am not outwardly freakish. In fact, what with my acne having cleared up but not quite gone, I'd say I'm sort of handsome. Hell, I'm sexy....come to think of it, I'm man-pretty!

Okay, in all honesty I have no deformities...other than a lonely heart (awwwwwwwwwww! )

Originally posted by Gnu Odor I've been in touch with Bachelorette No. 2 and she seems witty and very nice. But...Since none of us has seen a photo of you, Tabs, tell us...you're not like, deformed or anything? I can honestly tell this girl you're intelligent and funny, but when she asks if you're physically grotesque or missing body parts...well, I'm assuming you're not hideous. Is that fair to say?

Define "fair".....:D

Here are Bachelorette No. 2's "icebreaker" questions:

Use the questions below to "start the sparks" with me... • How do your closest friends describe you? • What are your three main goals in life? • What do people notice about you within the first hour of meeting you (other than appearance)?

Get those answers together and mail them to wodah@yahoo.com.

If you don't, you're even more of a loser than we all suspect.

Originally posted by feline Want a girl's opinion on this?:DFirst of all, I used to date a "hunky dumb-ass" way back in 95... After 2 weeks I could not stand looking at him (stupidity you see affects the way you look at someone)...A great sense of humor, on the other hand, is proof of one's intellect and is TOP PRIORITY for some of us females...

ooooohhhh!! is this why i am still getting laid? maybe?

i've been trying to figure this one out. since i'm no dashing, suave hunk of burning love, i was puzzeled as to why the little lady is still hot for me 8 years later.(and before you say anything, i have to admit that the missus has a horrible sense of humor.)

Go for #2, Tabs; she sounds like a genuinely decent girl.

Hey how about the girl on the left ?