I was busy at work this evening when the latest Eagles "song" (something about "there's a hole in the world tonight" repeated twenty times for effect throughout the song 
) came over the speakers, and the thought "why couldn't Mark David Chapman have been an Eagles fan?" came into my head.
MDC, of course, was the major-league asshole who shot John Lennon back in '80, and all because he was a Beatles fan but, well, was fucked up. So he shot JL, and the world was robbed of a true musical genius (and the door opened for Sir Prick to claim all the credit).
What if MDC had been an Eagles fan, and upset for some reason enough to take out Don Henley or Glenn Frey. Look at it this way:
if Don Henley was gone by December 1980, the world of light-rock radio would have to fill major holes in programming not taken up with "End of the Innocence", "The Last Worthless Evening", "The Boys of Summer", and so on.
Again, if DH bought the bullet back in '80, there wouldn't be a "Boys of Summer" other than the 1950s-era Brooklyn Dodgers, and thus certainly no nascent punk cover of said song that replaces a Grateful Dead bumper sticker on a Caddy to a Black Flag.
If Frey had been the target of Chapman's gun, there would be no "Smuggler's Blues" song (on the downside, there'd be no "Smuggler's Blues" music video, exposing the gritty life of Miami Vice-era drug dealers like Glenn Frey)
If it had been Joe Walsh...there would be no embarrassing cameos on the "Drew Carey Show"
And if the band as a whole had felt MDC's wrath...we wouldn't have "Hell Freezes Over" 
Then again, why wait til 1980? MDC could've taken them out while they were making Hotel California and spared the world one stupid-ass song. And Henley's late Seventies afro would never be cut to reflect the slick pop trends of the Eighties...
Happiness is a warm gun, after all......:violent2:
