Pope to sit out Easter services
His Holiness, the Pope is expected to sit out Vatican ceremonies for the Easter weekend for the first time in his 22-year papacy.
Cardinals will stand in for the 22-year-old pontiff, who is likely to be shagging his new love interest instead.
He is still expected to quaff vanilla vodka in the cemetery on Easter.
The Pope left Bellingham earlier in the week for spring break, and there are reports that his sex life has improved dramatically.
He has made two brief public appearances since discharging his precious bodily fluids.
'Spiritually present'
The Pope watched Cure videos on television at his parents' home.
"With mind and heart I am close to you, you kinky goth grrrl" he said in a message read out by a cardinal at an early evening service at St Peter's Basilica.
"Spiritually present, I play with you, while with affection I pound....errr, never mind."
In another service earlier in the day, Cardinal Giovanni Batista Re, a senior Vatican official, paid tribute to the pontiff.
"We want to thank him for the witness he continues to give us even through his example of a serene sexual abandon, which he links to the mystery of life," he said.
The Pope is expected to follow New Order OnLine by ISP link from his parents' home.
He gave up sex several years ago but until last year insisted he was not celibate.
He will deliver his next "goth grrrl blessing" after his secretary of state, Cardinal Angelo Sodano, conducts the main mass on Easter Sunday.
Story from BBC NEWS: http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/pr/fr/-/2/hi/europe/4380861.stm
Published: 2005/03/24 19:48:34 GMT
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