Dunno how old or otherwise this (cut 'n' paste) one is, but it had me in stitches:
The Perfect Day - For Her.
8:15 Wake up to hugs and kisses. 8:30 Weigh in 2kg lighter than yesterday. 8:45 Breakfast in bed, freshley squeezed orange juice and croissants, open presents, expensive jewellery bought by thoughtful partner. 9:15 Soothing hot bath with frangipani bath oil. 10:00 Light work out at club with sexy, funny personal trainer. 10:30 Facial, manicure, shampoo, condition, blow dry. 12:00 Lunch with friend at fashionable out door cafe. 12:45 Catch sight of partner's ex and notice she has gained 17kg. 13:00 Shopping with friends, unlimited credit. 15:00 Nap 16:00 Three dozen red roses delivered by florist, card is from secret admirer. 16:15 Light work out at club, followed by massage by strong but gentle hunk, who says he rarely gets to work on such a perfect body. 17:30 Choose outfit from expensive designer wardrobe, parade before full length mirror. 19:30 Candle lit dinner for two followed by dancing, with compliments recieved from other diners/dancers. 22:00 Hot shower (alone). 10:50 Carried to bed (freshly ironed, crisp, new, white linen). 11:00 Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling. 11:15 Fall asleep in his big strong arms.
The Perfect Day - For Him.
06:00 Alarm. 06:15 Blow job. 06:30 Massive satisfying shit while reading the sports section. 07:00 Breakfast: rump steak and eggs, coffee and toast, all cooked by naked, buxom wench who bends over a lot showing her growler. 07:30 Limo arrives. 07:45 Several beers on way to airport. 09:15 Flight in personal Lear jet. 09:30 Limo to Mirage Resort Golf Club (blow job en-route). 09:45 Play front 9 holes, 2 under. 11:45 Lunch - pie, chips and gravy, 3 lagers and a bottle of Dom Perignon. 12:15 Blow job. 12:30 Play back nine holes, 4 under. 14:15 Limo back to the airport (several Bourbons). 14:30 Fly to Cairns. 15:30 Late afternoon fishing excursion with all female crew, all nude who also bend over a lot displaying growlers. 16:30 Land world record Marlin on light tackle. 17:00 Fly home, massage and hand job by naked Elle McPherson (bending over......naturally). 18:45 Shit, shower, shave. 19:00 Watch news. Malcolm Glazer assassinated, Cannabis legalised. 19:30 Dinner: Lobster appetisers, Dom Perignon (1953), big juicy fillet steak followed by ice-cream served on a big pair of tits. 21:00 Napoleon Brandy and Habanos cigars whilst watching United beat Real Madrid by six goals to clinch the quadruple. 23:00 Sex with three women (all bi-curious.......some bending over). 01:00 Massage and jacuzzi with tasty pizza snacks and cleansing ale. 01:30 A night cap blow job. 01:45 In bed alone. 01:50 A 22 second fart which changes note four times and forces the dog to leave the room. 01:51 Laugh yourself to sleep.
