The Romantic Lives of NOOLers Part 2 :love2:

Seeing as we have a lot of new blood come in the months since I did this thread originally, and my own situation has changed since I posted this in November(?), I thought it might be fun to see what everyone's up to in the shagging or non-shagging department.

I guess I'll start: I was feeling pretty low on myself until just recently, when I met a girl who

1.) had a pulse

2.) Didn't have to be blown up

3.) actually seemed to enjoy talking to me

I've been chatting with her at work, and am at least resolved to ask her out before I start imagining what our kids would look like. Even if things don't turn out well with her, it's the best I've felt about anything romantic in a long, long, long, long while.

And no, she's not to be found in the field, munching on grass. I seriously met a girl. And if I'm not a huge ass about it, I might even have a shot with her

(now watch me jinx myself to a life of lonely scribbling in a corner, as friends come over and remark "he just sits there, doodling on his notepad. Never will show anyone what he's drawing, something about sheep or Yanni or Hasselhoff, or sometimes some guy named 'blue order' who he swears is out to get him"....)

But to answer the question, last time around, I think an ex and I were just starting to warm things up again, 12 years after our breakup. We started talking marriage, family, etc. A month later, she calls me one morning to say "it was too much, too soon." End of the new beginning.

To be fair, I let it go. We didn't fight or argue, I just didn't think it was worth trying to save-- to say "let's just take it slower and see what happens." I could have done that, but the issue this time around was the same issue as last time around-- me being in school, busy trying to graduate, no money being a student. Only last time around, I had a two-year haul in front of me, and I felt utterly betrayed, in a lack of moral support kind of way, at her leaving over me trying to get a degree. This time around, she couldn't wait three months for me to finish school, so I just didn't think it was worth bothering with. When she said "too much, too soon," I said "yeah, OK."

To be honest, I don't think it's going to change for me. I've got no job, no money, no car-- none of the things it takes to get out there and meet somebody. And with my odometer about to roll over, even when I've graduated, and have a job, and money, and a car, I'm going to be too old to meet somebody who wants marriage and a family. Her mother, maybe, but...

I dunno.

Oh, congratulations on the new love interest, Trev-- I'll be rooting for you, and hope for nothing but the best for ewe two.

Dunno what this all mean, but I met Sara 13 years ago. Lived together for 11 years.

And I'm happy to say that she will be Mrs Rian in September

Congrats Rian!!

I didn't get married until 11 years together. I had two rules:

1. We get married on our "anniversary" so I didn't have to remember yet another date.
2. We continue onward and not start back at 1. I invested too many years in our relationship to start back at 1 dammit!!

i met a guy a few months ago (through my roommate) who was interested in me--he would call me on the phone and tell me how intelligent and fascinating i was. we would talk for hours about string theory, the unification of general physics and quantum physics, and the moral and ethical implications of artificial intelligence. cool stuff like that.... then he found out i was moving to hawaii and i never heard from him again. turns out he started dating this girl from work who he had gone out on one date with which ended with him calling me up afterwards because 'she was so shallow and boring he needed someone interesting to speak with.' according to him, she had dragged him out on the date. so...he discovers i'm going to hawaii and suddenly she becomes interesting. according to my roommate, he just wanted 'someone around.'

well, guess what? i'm not moving to hawaii and i get a phone call on thursday from our other friend asking if i wanted to join them for coffee. i told him i was busy and said i'd love to join him for coffee at some point, but if the other chap was there then i would most likely be busy.

too bad, pal. you had your chance. we could have been friends, but you decided that i was expendable since i was moving. guess what--i have enough friends, i don't need any fairweather ones. go amuse yourself with your mind-numbing lady friend and think about treating people with a bit more respect next time.

why can't i find a decent man in this country? i know they must be out there.

*end of rant*

Rian wrote: Dunno what this all mean, but I met Sara 13 years ago. Lived together for 11 years.

And I'm happy to say that she will be Mrs Rian in September

About fecking time, I'd say. Congratulations!

oh dear oh dear taboo and order get out and enjoy yourselves guys and dont let minor setbacks get yer down there is someone for everyone if you look hard enough (im living proof). and woody what do you expect ffs how can you gell with a guy that still belives in string theory and the implications of ai??? . ai will happen wether you like it or not so why bother,and if you really want to impress a guy on a 1st date try discussing the theory of everything. but tbh if i was your date and you did i would pay for your cab fare home. chat about fun stuff.fcol. the rest will come easy.

I went out for a walk last night. Everybody was out at a cafe or restaurant or bar. I was thinking if I had any money at all, I could at least go to a cafe, even by myself, and at least be out somewhere were I might have a chance to meet someone. See and be seen.

But I literally have less than 10 cents to my name. When I finish some contract jobs I'm working on, I can get paid, but that money will go to rent, so...

So I'm thinking about see and be seen, and I'm walking along the street, and seated at a sidewalk cafe is a former classmate of mine, a mind-stunningly sexy Russian babe, so we start talking for awhile (this isn't going anywhere romantic, she's got a boyfriend), catching up, before I continue on. If I had any money at all, I could go out, see and be seen, etc. She's not available, but she might be out with a friend; that sort of thing. But without money, even if I met someone, I couldn't ask her out. And without money, I can't even afford a cup of coffee in a cafe. Literally.

Panhandlers are doing better than I am.

I dunno.

AgentWood wrote: i met a guy a few months ago (through my roommate) who was interested in me--he would call me on the phone and tell me how intelligent and fascinating i was. we would talk for hours about string theory, the unification of general physics and quantum physics, and the moral and ethical implications of artificial intelligence. cool stuff like that.... then he found out i was moving to hawaii and i never heard from him again. turns out he started dating this girl from work who he had gone out on one date with which ended with him calling me up afterwards because 'she was so shallow and boring he needed someone interesting to speak with.' according to him, she had dragged him out on the date. so...he discovers i'm going to hawaii and suddenly she becomes interesting. according to my roommate, he just wanted 'someone around.'

well, guess what? i'm not moving to hawaii and i get a phone call on thursday from our other friend asking if i wanted to join them for coffee. i told him i was busy and said i'd love to join him for coffee at some point, but if the other chap was there then i would most likely be busy.

too bad, pal. you had your chance. we could have been friends, but you decided that i was expendable since i was moving. guess what--i have enough friends, i don't need any fairweather ones. go amuse yourself with your mind-numbing lady friend and think about treating people with a bit more respect next time.

why can't i find a decent man in this country? i know they must be out there.

*end of rant*

AgentWood, it sounds like he never asked you out. Always called, but never asked. And the other girl asked him; was he waiting for you to ask him out, do you suppose? Sounds a bit cowardly to me, waiting for you to ask him (and I know it can be nerve-wracking to get up the nerve to ask someone out, but come on, it's not as if you were putting up a red light). Sounds the same now-- having another friend set up a get together for the three of you.

Also, as appealing as it may be to find an intellectual connection with somebody who is a romantic interest, you need to find a way to move the conversation beyond string theory if it's going to beome a romance, rather than a friendship. Don't make yourself into "one of the guys," or "just a friend." Why should the "shallow and boring" girl get all of the sex and romance, while you, AgentWood, fulfill his need for intellectual stimulation? If he can't figure out how to move the conversation to matters other than string theory, then you need to figure out how to give it a gentle push in that direction. If he's interested, and he knows you're interested, there's no reason he should be dating a "shallow and boring" girl.

Or maybe in his case, she's got it right-- asking for what she wants.

well, i only met the guy once (the discussion wasn't all about string theory, by the way!) and talked on the phone with him a few times. we decided to get together and hang out on his next day off--and then he found out i was moving!

BTW, my roommate wasn't trying to 'set us up,' and it wasn't just the three of us. she just mentioned that we might get along and we did. frankly, i was sort of interested in him, but he made it relatively clear that he was interested in me and he wanted to talk about physics, etc. because he had no one else to talk about them with (perhaps i should have prefaced my previous rant with this).

one last thing: i'm not going to play dumb to get a guy. ever. in fact, i had a lot of luck in the UK with men because i didn't play dumb. maybe it's just orlando. i dunno.

I went to a new year eve party in San Francisco back in the 80s. My cousin always reminds me of it. A bunch of comics, starring Jay Leno (pre-TV fame), and a DJ spinning afterwards. When the DJ was spinning, I was dancing with three girls at once-- three friends out together-- and one of them, the one who liked me the most, was leaving for Germany the next day. I would have asked her out, but she was leaving. Looking back from my advanced state of wisdom today, I should have told her I wanted to stay in touch, gotten an address, given her my address, something. I would have been glad to fly Germany for a romance. But I didn't know what to do then, so I did nothing.

Regret.

AgentWood wrote: well, i only met the guy once (the discussion wasn't all about string theory, by the way!) and talked on the phone with him a few times. we decided to get together and hang out on his next day off--and then he found out i was moving!

BTW, my roommate wasn't trying to 'set us up,' and it wasn't just the three of us. she just mentioned that we might get along and we did. frankly, i was sort of interested in him, but he made it relatively clear that he was interested in me and he wanted to talk about physics, etc. because he had no one else to talk about them with (perhaps i should have prefaced my previous rant with this).

Yeah, I know, BUT...if that's all you talk about, it never becomes more than "just friends." Meanwhile, little Miss Batshereyelashes is going out on a d-a-t-e.

bLuE oRdEr wrote:

AgentWood wrote: well, i only met the guy once (the discussion wasn't all about string theory, by the way!) and talked on the phone with him a few times. we decided to get together and hang out on his next day off--and then he found out i was moving!

BTW, my roommate wasn't trying to 'set us up,' and it wasn't just the three of us. she just mentioned that we might get along and we did. frankly, i was sort of interested in him, but he made it relatively clear that he was interested in me and he wanted to talk about physics, etc. because he had no one else to talk about them with (perhaps i should have prefaced my previous rant with this).

Yeah, I know, BUT...if that's all you talk about, it never becomes more than "just friends." Meanwhile, little Miss Batshereyelashes is going out on a d-a-t-e.

believe me, i'm not that big of a dork! in fact, i found him a bit too serious for me! he was the one going on and on about AI. it was interesting, but sometimes one needs a break.

when he was over at our apartment, we were talking about politics and i showed him jon stewart's america: the book. he said he had seen it in the bookstore, but it was too 'humorous' for him. hmmmm.

i love talking about politics, science, literature, etc. and i need that mental stimulation. i won't change for anyone and i'll never dumb down for anyone. but a sense of humour is vital, as well!

i'm not pissed off that we didn't end up dating, i'm pissed off that he decided that i was expendable once he found out that i was moving!

If he found Jon Stewart "too humorous," you'll probably be happier in the long run with somebody else. Dork. ;)

AgentWood wrote: i'm not pissed off that we didn't end up dating, i'm pissed off that he decided that i was expendable once he found out that i was moving!

As I said above, I had no idea at the tender age of twenty-something about how to stay in touch with a woman who was moving to Germany. To me, and maybe I'm reading too much into it, he just sounds like he's socially inept, not like he thinks you're expendable.

bLuE oRdEr wrote: If he found Jon Stewart "too humorous," you'll probably be happier in the long run with somebody else. Dork. ;)

no shit. liking the daily show is a prerequisite for any man worth dating.

and star wars.

jesus, maybe i am a dork.

AgentWood wrote:

bLuE oRdEr wrote: If he found Jon Stewart "too humorous," you'll probably be happier in the long run with somebody else. Dork. ;)

no shit. liking the daily show is a prerequisite for any man worth dating.

and star wars.

jesus, maybe i am a dork.

Depends on your reason for liking Star Wars:

or...

puhleeze. neither.

try these two babeosauruses:

No thanks, you can try them, they're not my type. Although I did have the braid at one time.

Please do not turn this thread into a Star Wars thread...at least until I feck it up with the new lady

I don't know that I want to get into prerequsites a'la "High Fidelity" about dating. I think it's all a matter of shared interests. That being said, I can't love a woman who can't love "Blazing Saddles", Monty Python, The Smiths, NO, Nick Hornby, P.J. O'Rourke, "The Great Gatsby", Radiohead, "Rushmore", Lou Reed, Peter Sellers, Jonathan Richman, Gram Parsons, The post-Beatles work of at least John or George (but no Paul past 1978 or so), "The producers" (the movie, not the play), or a combination of two or three :p

I'm of that classic "can't read the signs" variety. I can't tell you how many times a girl actually has been interested in me, and I can't see it because usually I am too cynical about it. Like "oh, like she really likes me just because she talks to me, smiles at me, rams her hand down my pants, lets me touch her breasts and make out with me. Yeah, right..."

bLuE oRdEr wrote: No thanks, you can try them, they're not my type. Although I did have the braid at one time.

fine, tabsy. we'll turn it into a corvette summer/shattered glass thread.

mark hamill is too old for me now (and not very good looking anymore).

but hayden christensen? D-A-M-N!!!!

AgentWood wrote: but hayden christensen? D-A-M-N!!!!

Cradlerobber.

he's 24, thank you very much.

and i happen to like younger men.

AgentWood wrote: he's 24, thank you very much.

and i happen to like younger men.

The same rationale I'll be using when I'm dating a 24 year old woman. :D

Taboo # 7 wrote: "Blazing Saddles"

Or as the English-challenged husband of my best friend calls it, "Burning Seats."**

**True story.

I'm of that classic "can't read the signs" variety. I can't tell you how many times a girl actually has been interested in me, and I can't see it because usually I am too cynical about it. Like "oh, like she really likes me just because she talks to me, smiles at me, rams her hand down my pants, lets me touch her breasts and make out with me. Yeah, right..."

Ditto.

bLuE oRdEr wrote:

Taboo # 7 wrote: "Blazing Saddles"

Or as the English-challenged husband of my best friend calls it, "Burning Seats."**

**True story.

I'm of that classic "can't read the signs" variety. I can't tell you how many times a girl actually has been interested in me, and I can't see it because usually I am too cynical about it. Like "oh, like she really likes me just because she talks to me, smiles at me, rams her hand down my pants, lets me touch her breasts and make out with me. Yeah, right..."

Ditto.

Signs, signs, everywhere signs, but we can't read them. Must be some sort of f-ed up brotherhood of losers we can join somewhere to help us improve our girl-reading skills