Inspired the following. Enjoy! 
COMMUNIST RESPONSES TO EVERYDAY QUESTIONS Trevor Seigler
Q: Do you want breakfast before going to work?
A: Comrade, breakfast is but an illusionary comfort from the harsh realities of a bourgeoisise that controls all aspects of the workers' lives. To indulge in such petty dining before going off to slave away (at a salary which measures my worth as a man as being less than that of a dog!) would be a betrayal of the revolution to overthrow such banalities!
Q: Would you like me to pass you the salt?
A: If by "passing the salt" you mean "continuing to oppress the poor salt miners whose job it is to provide me with said condiment, with a danger to their lives which their employers elicit little or no interest in preventing", then I must say no. But if it is simply to free up more space on the table for your Tsarist dinner (which could feed thousands outside our own home, but is going to waste here), I must also stridently object. I will stand in solidarity with my salt-mining brothers!...plus, it makes me thirsty. Thirsty for the justice which capitalist courts cannot provide!
Q: Have you read the new "Harry Potter"?
A: Potter is just another bourgeois wet dream, a humble lad who is picked from the crowd to rise to power thanks to "magical powers" that seperate him from his peers. You will notice that he does not provide the means of controlling production (which he would have access to with his newfound status) to those from his class of workers. The proletariot continue to suffer in the world of Harry Potter, while he perpetuates the myths of the aristocratic order that he aspires to! Surely you jest when you ask me if I've read such filth! I'd rather re-read "Das Kapital" in the original German.
Q: Do you watch Fox News or CNN?
A: I get all my "news" from the things that the anchors do not say, my comrade. Truly you notice that neither news "source" addresses the plight of the workers in the modern capitalistic states. Such ignorance leads to the fermenting of revolution, and the time will come when Paris Hilton and Tom Cruise are pushed to the back of the newscast by scenes of the worker's paradise being enacted all over the world...besides, Fox News is a fascist organ, while CNN is too wishy-washy for me to get behind. So it's "E! News Daily" for me.
Q: Would you like to go out on a date?
A: A date? When there's a revolution to plan? I think not!...unless you want to go halves on the dinner and movie. You do not! Comrade, will you not share your wealth with your fellow worker?...
Q: Are you always going on about Communisim?
A: What else is there?...I do have hobbies, however. Like translating Mao to English, reasearching my "life of Trotsky", and living with my parents even though I'm a leader of the campus Socialist club.
Q: Do I look fat in this dress?
A: That dress only accentuates your bounty as a potential mate...wait, we can make worker children together with those hips! Do not buy in to the bourgeois concept of beauty!
