What would you do if....

If you were at home alone in ,say, an upstairs room and the door was closed shut but when you got up to leave the room the handle broke.The door was stuck shut and you couldnt get out of the room.And you couldnt attract the attention of the neighbours or anyone.And you didnt have a phone in the room either.and you couldnt jump out of the window.or you may not even have a window.

It`s a phobia of mine.Any suggestions to solve the dilemma?

Thanks in advance.

email the fire brigade?

I think Johnny forgot to add no internet either

start praying

No internet, email , anything.

Try and kick the door in..

BALDRICK wrote: Try and kick the door in..

But if it was a real thick door?

I would cry like a baby

Johnny wrote:

BALDRICK wrote: Try and kick the door in..

But if it was a real thick door?

ok there is a very very extreme way if you have lots of cash,smash a hole in the ceiling and get out through the loft,if no loft your up shit creek...

Johnny I think you're being far too paranoid!

NObabe wrote: Johnny I think you're being far too paranoid!

Ah , well.We all have some phobias.And anyway the walls are so thin in my house i wouldn`t have to shout very loudly to get either neighbour to hear.And i could open the window and shout for help also.

I did know someone who this happened to once.Luckily her friend came round to visit her by chnace a few hours later and all ended happily.

Johnny, you seem to be a neurotic fellow.

Team Szwajkos wrote: Johnny, you seem to be a neurotic fellow.

I`ve never been entirely sure what that word means.

neu·ro·sis ( P ) Pronunciation Key (n-rss, ny-) n. pl. neu·ro·ses (-sz) Any of various mental or emotional disorders, such as hypochondria or neurasthenia, arising from no apparent organic lesion or change and involving symptoms such as insecurity, anxiety, depression, and irrational fears, but without psychotic symptoms such as delusions or hallucinations. No longer in scientific use.

i guess im some of those things.but the thread was just a thought.nothing more.i dont go around thinking it`s gonna happen !! (well, maybe now and then)

dont be paranoid-we all like you.

One emoticon was just not enough.

Team Szwajkos wrote: dont be paranoid-we all like you.

One emoticon was just not enough.

Yeah ,i know you all like me!.I`ve never thought otherwise!.THANKS

Break the fuvking door down.

The answer, if you have a pack of playing cards, is to set out a game of patience. It's a well known fact that within three minutes of starting a game of patience, some dickhead is over your shoulder saying "put that four on the five".

Then you can kick the door in together.

NObabe wrote: I think Johnny forgot to add no internet either

LMAO...As long as your sorted for glue you would be ok

BIGINOIL wrote: The answer, if you have a pack of playing cards, is to set out a game of patience. It's a well known fact that within three minutes of starting a game of patience, some dickhead is over your shoulder saying "put that four on the five".

Then you can kick the door in together.

Hahahaha!

Considering the trend in modren Christianity to "put all things in God's hands", start praying really, really hard...

Then, to cover your bases, offer to sell your soul to Satan in exchange for a way out

That should help :p

Johnny wrote:

Team Szwajkos wrote: dont be paranoid-we all like you.

One emoticon was just not enough.

Yeah ,i know you all like me!.I`ve never thought otherwise!.THANKS

Much lost in Translation to Jonathan here,nice sensitivity tho Jonathan..But no need to over analyze or reassure Johnny,just bring glue and he will be over the moon

Keep a axe in every room in your house. Then you could brake through the door.

:)

I didnt know Johnny was such a fan of glue, and he slags me for smoking on the job. Well he should be prepared for these types of unplanned situations. Maybe he should keep a supply of glue in this room. If it is all possible to listen to ramones while being trapped, then do so.

Try to avoid going into the glue reserve in normal times, and remember glue is very ascessable in the free times.

hope this helps

Rian wrote: Keep a axe in every room in your house. Then you could brake through the door.

:)

Thats actually the best solution ive read.Keep an axe handy for any emergency.Thanks Rian.

Team Szwajkos wrote: I didnt know Johnny was such a fan of glue, and he slags me for smoking on the job.

um... i dont do glue.Boatrace was joking because i started a "what do you do if not on nool ?" thread by joking that i hang around the shops sniffing glue (if im not otherwise engaged working out how to escape my bedroom when the door is jammed shut)

But if mike says it, it must be true.

actually i think i will stop joking on the internet.it really is true that it doesn`t translate.

Of course it was a joke. Everything about sniffing glue is a joke. Does anybody do it nowadays? Continue with your humorous ways. Their are certain things you should be caution speaking about like killing the american president, pedophilla, and liking jetstream. I know a lot about the last one and cant live it down.

I too have reveal things i probably should not of and shouldnt really be using my real surname.Awww fuck it.

Szwajkos is your surname?.Cool name.Or is that a joke ,too?.I really don`t know half the time.

And how long is you hair now,J?

Johnny wrote:

Rian wrote: Keep a axe in every room in your house. Then you could brake through the door.

:)

Thats actually the best solution ive read.Keep an axe handy for any emergency.Thanks Rian.

No problem mate. I aim to please. :)

Johnny wrote:

Rian wrote: Keep a axe in every room in your house. Then you could brake through the door.

:)

Thats actually the best solution ive read.Keep an axe handy for any emergency.Thanks Rian.

HEEEERRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEE'SSSSSSSSSS JOHNNY!!!!!!!!

Christopher Owens wrote:

Johnny wrote:

Rian wrote: Keep a axe in every room in your house. Then you could brake through the door.

:)

Thats actually the best solution ive read.Keep an axe handy for any emergency.Thanks Rian.

HEEEERRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEE'SSSSSSSSSS JOHNNY!!!!!!!!

NEARLY FELL OFF ME CHAIR ,CHRISTOPHER!!!!!

FOOOOOKIN SUPERB MATE

gonna make that my new avatar!

Johnny wrote: actually i think i will stop joking on the internet.it really is true that it doesn`t translate.

Does this resolution have any effect on the availability of that photograph, Johnny?

Patrick wrote:

Johnny wrote: actually i think i will stop joking on the internet.it really is true that it doesn`t translate.

Does this resolution have any effect on the availability of that photograph, Johnny?

Sorry Pats,no.My stand on the release (or not) of said photo remains unchanged despite the discontinuation of humour.

Johnny wrote:

NEARLY FELL OFF ME CHAIR ,CHRISTOPHER!!!!!

FOOOOOKIN SUPERB MATE

gonna make that my new avatar!

Thought you'd appreciate it.

Surprised no one else tweaked on it.

Johnny wrote:

Patrick wrote:

Johnny wrote: actually i think i will stop joking on the internet.it really is true that it doesn`t translate.

Does this resolution have any effect on the availability of that photograph, Johnny?

Sorry Pats,no.My stand on the release (or not) of said photo remains unchanged despite the discontinuation of humour.

I was afraid you'd take that position, Johnny.

Well, I tried.

Johnny wrote: Szwajkos is your surname?.Cool name.Or is that a joke ,too?.I really don`t know half the time.

And how long is you hair now,J?

Szwajkos is my actual surname. My hair is still pretty long. Ive wanted to get it cut but have yet to garner the courage.

Patrick has quite an interest in this said photo.

Christopher Owens wrote:

Johnny wrote:

NEARLY FELL OFF ME CHAIR ,CHRISTOPHER!!!!!

FOOOOOKIN SUPERB MATE

gonna make that my new avatar!

Thought you'd appreciate it.

Surprised no one else tweaked on it.

Maybe that was what Rian was hinting at when he suggested the axe option?.I'm a bit slow sometimes as you may have noticed.But i am gettig old,after all

BUT NEVER TOO OLD TO MOSH AT A NEW ORDER GIG! YIPEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!

Team Szwajkos wrote:

Patrick has quite an interest in this said photo.

i keep thinking he's given up but now and then he tries again to secure a copy.Bless.

Johnny wrote:

Team Szwajkos wrote:

Patrick has quite an interest in this said photo.

i keep thinking he's given up but now and then he tries again to secure a copy.Bless.

I wouldn't want you to think I've forgotten.

One of these days perhaps you will change your mind.

Patrick wrote:

I wouldn't want you to think I've forgotten.

One of these days perhaps you will change your mind.

I've done stranger things while drunk ,Pats, so you never know.

Maybe i'll feel generous at Christmas time.

Johnny wrote:

Patrick wrote:

I wouldn't want you to think I've forgotten.

One of these days perhaps you will change your mind.

I've done stranger things while drunk ,Pats, so you never know.

Maybe i'll feel generous at Christmas time.

There you go!

Now I have a reason to look forward to Christmas!

Patrick wrote:

There you go!

Now I have a reason to look forward to Christmas!

You not big on Christmas then ,Pats?

You'd make a good Father Christmas i would of imagined.And you wouldn't have to reveal your identity either.nobody could see your face underneath that big white beard and hat.

Maybe you could post a pic of yourself as Santa as a treat for all the rest of us?

Patrick wrote:

Now I have a reason to look forward to Christmas!

There's no need to be afraid, Patrick...

Johnny wrote:

Patrick wrote:

There you go!

Now I have a reason to look forward to Christmas!

You not big on Christmas then ,Pats?

You'd make a good Father Christmas i would of imagined.And you wouldn't have to reveal your identity either.nobody could see your face underneath that big white beard and hat.

Maybe you could post a pic of yourself as Santa as a treat for all the rest of us?

You're right, Johnny, I'm not the world's greatest Christmas fan. In light of that, playing Santa is probably not the best role for me.

BIGINOIL wrote:

Patrick wrote:

Now I have a reason to look forward to Christmas!

There's no need to be afraid, Patrick...

I'm always afraid.

Patrick wrote:

BIGINOIL wrote:

Patrick wrote:

Now I have a reason to look forward to Christmas!

There's no need to be afraid, Patrick...

I'm always afraid.

Let in light and banish shade, Patrick.

I'll leave some mince pies and sherry out for you ,Pats.And THE PHOTO.

Johnny wrote: I'll leave some mince pies and sherry out for you ,Pats.And THE PHOTO.

I'll just need an address then.

And a passport.

BIGINOIL wrote:

Patrick wrote:

BIGINOIL wrote:

Patrick wrote:

Now I have a reason to look forward to Christmas!

There's no need to be afraid, Patrick...

I'm always afraid.

Let in light and banish shade, Patrick.

Would that be John Shade?

Band Aid

BIGINOIL wrote: Band Aid

They never stick.

Patrick wrote:

BIGINOIL wrote: Band Aid

They never stick.

Not if you get them wet

BIGINOIL wrote:

Patrick wrote:

BIGINOIL wrote: Band Aid

They never stick.

Not if you get them wet

Or move. Or breathe.

They work just fine if you're dead.

Patrick wrote:

Johnny wrote: I'll leave some mince pies and sherry out for you ,Pats.And THE PHOTO.

I'll just need an address then.

And a passport.

And a sleigh.

Anyway, not Band Aid the innefective sticking plaster, Band Aid the charidee band.

Feed the world.

Johnny wrote:

Patrick wrote:

Johnny wrote: I'll leave some mince pies and sherry out for you ,Pats.And THE PHOTO.

I'll just need an address then.

And a passport.

And a sleigh.

I thought you lived in town?

BIGINOIL wrote: Anyway, not Band Aid the innefective sticking plaster, Band Aid the charidee band.

Feed the world.

I'm afraid I'm missing the connection.

You seemed a little aprehensive about Christmas, that's all. The moment's gone now, anyway.

BIGINOIL wrote: You seemed a little aprehensive about Christmas, that's all. The moment's gone now, anyway.

The moment always does go, doesn't it?

Patrick wrote:

The moment always does go, doesn't it?

Why can't they go?