Ilkeston - where i currently live

Amenities: Market Square for fighting Pubs: Plenty, but too scared to go in

The crap town of Ilkeston rises like a majestic grey slag heap from the equally depressing dull greenery. Rows of grimy-looking houses are inturrupted only by the occasional chip shop or seedy looking ‘massage parlour’ - Ilkeston must be a very stressful place to live as there are numerous ‘massage parlours’ in the town. Visitor highlights include the large dual carriageway that divides the town into ‘crap part’ and ‘really crap part’, the local Co-op, the architecture of the Education Centre (closed down due to lack of custom), and the bizarre-smelling river that runs alongside the town. Ilkeston’s most famous son is actor Robert Lindsay. He does not live there.

www.idler.co.uk

Do you live in the crap part or the really crap part?

Upper Crap !

Top quality!

I thought you lived in a car because you said that you lived in an estate?

Digital Mike Binoche wrote: Amenities: Market Square for fighting Pubs: Plenty, but too scared to go in

The crap town of Ilkeston rises like a majestic grey slag heap from the equally depressing dull greenery. Rows of grimy-looking houses are inturrupted only by the occasional chip shop or seedy looking ‘massage parlour’ - Ilkeston must be a very stressful place to live as there are numerous ‘massage parlours’ in the town. Visitor highlights include the large dual carriageway that divides the town into ‘crap part’ and ‘really crap part’, the local Co-op, the architecture of the Education Centre (closed down due to lack of custom), and the bizarre-smelling river that runs alongside the town. Ilkeston’s most famous son is actor Robert Lindsay. He does not live there.

www.idler.co.uk

it dont sound half as bad as Corby..

Does Nigel Jemson still play for Ilkeston Town FC. He used to play for Ballymena United a couple of years ago

Does it have a Cider Bus Mike?

Yes parked on my drive

have they opened a Tesco just for you yet?

They have relocated the old one to bigger premesis

Have you "broken in" the new Tesco, Diggy? Nudge nudge, wink wink.

Digital Mike Binoche wrote: They have relocated the old one to bigger premesis

closer to your place i presume.

Snoopy wrote: Does Nigel Jemson still play for Ilkeston Town FC. He used to play for Ballymena United a couple of years ago

He's the manager now!

He was a great player for us

Up the Robin's

I'm confused. Is Jemson the manager of Ilkeston or Tesco's? :D

been in ilkeston today,i thought chorley was a miserable shit hole when its raining but ilkeston is WORSE. came off the m/a1 looking for quarry hill ind est (NIGHTMARE). even a tescos wont save the place.