Just a nice intimate corner of NOOL where attractive young people can relax and get to know one another.
Dates
· UTC
The special NOOL Dating Area
Archived140 replies · 3,274 views
This is an archived legacy thread. Replies are closed, but the discussion is preserved.
NObabe wrote: Rupa je rupa!!
Get out Maya, I'm waiting for someone!
Oh alright then - you'll do!
well Maya's taken (she aint protested BIG's wonderful proposal, you old romantic rogue you) and the rest of us on this thread seem to be big hairy blokes. So i'd say we're either gonna have to radically rethink our lives, or this is a non starter.
Assuming there are any ladies arond... I'm Steve, 34 My star sign is: I kill people who believe in astrology. I have a psuedo-girlfriend already; think of her as a best friend who's got no interest at all in men she actually fancies, she hangs out with me, or no one, I may not be getting any, but the company's awesome. But I'm allowed, in fact encouraged, to go play with other girls too (how sick does that sound????). Personally I feel this is merely a female logic ploy which works like this: She's nuts about me but doesn't fancy me one dot. If she says I can go off and do what I like, she knows that it aint gonna happen cos other chicks wont go for me any more than she does in a physical way, BUT in doing so, she pre-empts me ever being a wanker if she phones me up to tell what she did to some poor bastard last night (and she actually DID once!). Funny sort of relationship really.
Anyway, now you know chicks, I'm on the market for hire at least. Actually to be honest if I started telling her "I met this girl", she'd proabably start briefing me on how not to be a fucktard bloke and wish me luck :)
my interests include stoat baiting rabbit buggering puppy strangling baby boiling being George W. Bush at weekends and holidays running over kittens quite slowly so they live a while (it's an art) I have a 4mm penis with 3 inch genital warts my breath smells of rotting mackerel I wear socks til they fall off through decomposition and then allow their corpses to pile up in my woman's bedroom Boxers are cheaper than cleanex Oh, and love me, love my 3000 strong leech circus.
So, girls..... Let's fuck?
(as I read that back to myself, I wonder what it says about y pschological condition that I could be honest about Leanne and the fact that we are just cosmic twins but no touchy.....but couldn't keep a straight keyboard when it came to actually saying "hey chicks, steve's cool") Sigmund, what ya think mate
Your a real catch for some lucky lass.. mackerel breath sends em weak..and Sigmund will see you on his couch now Steve..
Good night
My name is Trevor, I'm a direct descendant of the Hohenzolleran line from Germany, and wouldn't you know I'm loaded from my uncle Rudolph's investments in Eastern Europe? 
Well, you never said we had to be honest...
Money, good plan, always a good plan.
Women always say "sens eof humour is the most imprtant thing"
which is why all those rich, well hung and astonishingly stupd people on TV have babes hanging on every limb.
I'm funny, aren't I, people here laught at me.....women here laugh at me... I was TWENTY SODDING SIX WHEN I GOT LAID!!!!!!! all lies I tell ya. 3 truth of nature water is wet the sky is blue chicks lie
:)
(there that should make even ones that liked the idea of mackerel breath dislike me now)
not that i'm necessarily looking for someone new.
I have a good personality. A fine if sometimes a bit sarcastic sense of humour. I am interested in current affairs history etc. I enjoy a drink. i enjoy long walks on a deserted beach....
I think I look ok. those who have seen the pics usually agree. 6 foot 82 kg. brown eyes an hair.
I own a 4 bedroom house double garage, esuite, and 2 cars (although one of them is very old and crap). I have a reasonable income, and am well off enough to survive 3 really shit years.
I enjoy termites, clubbing (though my landlord, Mr. Zookeeper, gives me the hose if he sees me doing that), bananas, and lazing under the palms on a gentle Sunday morning to shriek and hurl my own feces at the gawking shaved straightbacks with a significant other.
But I know words are cheap, so let's let the photos do the talking:
Me on the left, ladies. 
What if we're young but not attractive? are we banned from posting for upsetting the demographic of young and attractive people?
Hannett of the Apes wrote: I enjoy termites, clubbing (though my landlord, Mr. Zookeeper, gives me the hose if he sees me doing that), bananas, and lazing under the palms on a gentle Sunday morning to shriek and hurl my own feces at the gawking shaved straightbacks with a significant other.
But I know words are cheap, so let's let the photos do the talking:
Have you ever READ (not seen) 2001: a space odessy?
Some very interesting things in that about raving apes.
Hi I'm Mike
I like;
Recodeing gigs Drinking Stella Drinking Wine Talking Bollocks Collecting all live New Order gigs Converting old videos of New Order to DVD Tesco Juliette Binoche Hedonism Curries Glastonbury Festival
Don't all rush at once , you will clogg my in box
Hmmm how can a girl choose:
Steve, 34, hates astrology (perfect, i do too)
or
Digital Mike, drinks stella and wine, talks bollocks, goes to Tesco (whats the obsession with Tesco on this site?) and converts New Order Videos to DVD's (i've got 5 that need doing!)
Hmmm, Daddy or chips...
Fuck it i'll have 'em both, or is that being greedy?
Missy Jem wrote: Hmmm how can a girl choose:
Steve, 34, hates astrology (perfect, i do too)
or
Digital Mike, drinks stella and wine, talks bollocks, goes to Tesco (whats the obsession with Tesco on this site?) and converts New Order Videos to DVD's (i've got 5 that need doing!)
Hmmm, Daddy or chips...
Fuck it i'll have 'em both, or is that being greedy?
Holy crap I've pulled, twice in one life, who'd have thunk it.
Sorry Christy Jem got her oar in first, and it's first come first served, or is that first served first........
i'll shut up now shall I.
Actually Missy Jem, you aint done much to demonstrate YOUR charms, at the minute the best we can say about you is that you are female (alledgedly), that may be enough for most males, but c'mon we're NO fans, we expect a little more. might just leave you to DMB and hold out for Christy, Sam or maya :)
Missy Jem wrote: Hmmm how can a girl choose:
Steve, 34, hates astrology (perfect, i do too)
or
Digital Mike, drinks stella and wine, talks bollocks, goes to Tesco (whats the obsession with Tesco on this site?) and converts New Order Videos to DVD's (i've got 5 that need doing!)
Hmmm, Daddy or chips...
Fuck it i'll have 'em both, or is that being greedy?
Quite a neat summation there, Jem.
Whichever date you choose, perhaps leave the engine running.
:\pimp3:
Ha ha!
Actually i don't have any recent photo's to put on at the minute but i'm working on it. There's a pic of me on my profile from a few years ago but it's pre-parachute jump so i'm not looking good!
Decided anyway that everyone on here is a catch cos you all like New Order and that's good enough for me!
ChrissMari wrote:
Boatraceface wrote: Right.Who wants it?
unf
What does unf mean,Chriss? I get the feeling, its not good
78681 wrote: I like unibrows and corn rows...what does that get me?
Worzel Gallagher's yer man
AgentWood wrote:
Ronald Kirsch wrote: i like unicorns and rainbows as well.
well, hi there. :kiss:
hi there back :)
Missy Jem wrote: Ha ha!
Actually i don't have any recent photo's to put on at the minute but i'm working on it. There's a pic of me on my profile from a few years ago but it's pre-parachute jump so i'm not looking good!
Decided anyway that everyone on here is a catch cos you all like New Order and that's good enough for me!
That's a fine point miss, and indeed the best thing about this thread is, everyone of the opposite sex, while clearly clinically insane (this is BCD on NOOL after all, the world's premier online asylum if you don't count C.O.L.A.), at least likes New ORder and that forces them, even presumably mingin old gits like me, into the top 1% of the most desirable people in the world, so i'm only up against70million or so.
but since you pointed that out, and for your wonderful comments on the maltesers thread. And without even lookin at ye, for such things are so meaningless(the cry of the ugly), and despite the fact I'm probably old enough to be yer da.
Get yer coat luv, you've scored :)
(Nobabe, AgentWood, Sam and all don't kill yourselves yet, she might break my heartand you can have me on the rebound, along with some new songs of misery)
Ronald Kirsch wrote:
AgentWood wrote:
Ronald Kirsch wrote: i like unicorns and rainbows as well.
well, hi there. :kiss:
hi there back
Anyone taken a plane ride recently?
I need one of them barf bags.
:\pimp3:
depthcharge wrote:
Ronald Kirsch wrote:
AgentWood wrote:
Ronald Kirsch wrote: i like unicorns and rainbows as well.
well, hi there. :kiss:
hi there back
Anyone taken a plane ride recently?
I need one of them barf bags.
:\pimp3:
don't you worry about that.
Looks like Jem's stood me up lads. I'll be on the beach staring wistfully out at a grey ocean if anyone needs me.
Sorry, i've been on my lunch. Wow, look what i've missed! You can be my new cyber hubby. Be afraid, be very afraid...
(Note to self: I will not, must not, chop this one to pieces)
By the way, "old enough to be my da"? We're the same age. I'm now extremely confused. How did you manage that?
he's really a 59 year old orange bearded fisherman - stuck in the middle of the Irish Sea on a Ferry, waiting for the Soirens call. with only a stash of Golden Virginia baccy and his laptop for company.
john kershaw wrote: he's really a 59 year old orange bearded fisherman - stuck in the middle of the Irish Sea on a Ferry, waiting for the Soirens call. with only a stash of Golden Virginia baccy and his laptop for company.
Just how i like 'em. Yum
hmmmm, not bad actually, except. It's only the Beard that's firey orange (I'm Irish, it's impossible NOT to have red tinted facial hair if you've lived here more than about 2 years). the Ferry, is in fact a large mat of floating moss, often mistaken for an island and called Ireland. I have been known to fish Yes it's golden vag The laptop is in fact a pile of bits that runs linux, there is alos a windows machine, it plays games and crashes.
As for being yer Da, errrrr Have you seen my Type40 time capsule?
See, the thing is Jem, you've locked us out of your profile, we cannae click on ye to see your delicous (I fookin hope since we're married now) gob, or see that you're an aging wreck like me.
EDIT: holy fuck you must be in girl, I never even called you a daft bint or anything up there :)
EDIT EDIT: I just spotted ( slow on the uptake me), you're from bolton. Oh bliss, do you refuse to believe in a silent W like Fred Dibnah? Whole is pronounced something like Woahle :)
click on her name in the posts list to the right.
head like a balloon, mind like a loon, likes to moon, and can't play a choon.
Yep...she's from Boorelton alright.
Have i? I thought it was open, i'd better check. Don't judge a book by its cover though, they're not good photy's!
How odd..... most people, I can click their name there
<<<<< and get their profile, but I had to click Jem in the post list.Fucking awkward fucking women.
You the shit scared one in the Black?
EDIT, I can't click on my own name oever there now either. Things like this hurt when you've been up since errrr about half 5 yesterday (teatime).
Steve Campbell wrote: How odd..... most people, I can click their name there
<<<<< and get their profile, but I had to click Jem in the post list.Fucking awkward fucking women.
You the shit scared one in the Black?
Aye! That's me, that is one terrified smile i'm telling you.
hennasarai wrote: Can we submit friend's names? I have this um, friend, who needs to be set up.*grin*
Yessss errrrr....the particular use of the term "set up" certainly applies to anything the poor fucker's gonna land among these hallowed fora, especially if they're you know........HEY, what's the word for people who don't do NO, you know how like to Jews, there's them and all the rest of us, which is gentiles, clearly we are MUSIC'S chosen, we need a name for those less fortunate.
PS. not taking a crack. Fuck that's all we need "anti semitic website of nazi band" ROFLMAO.
Missy Jem wrote:
Steve Campbell wrote: How odd..... most people, I can click their name there
<<<<< and get their profile, but I had to click Jem in the post list.Fucking awkward fucking women.
You the shit scared one in the Black?
Aye! That's me, that is one terrified smile i'm telling you.
it looks like you've taken a bite outta yer seat.
So ....what about this silent W business?
Steve Campbell wrote:
Missy Jem wrote:
Steve Campbell wrote: How odd..... most people, I can click their name there
<<<<< and get their profile, but I had to click Jem in the post list.Fucking awkward fucking women.
You the shit scared one in the Black?
Aye! That's me, that is one terrified smile i'm telling you.
it looks like you've taken a bite outta yer seat.
So ....what about this silent W business?
What silent W? I'm never silent. In fact i'm pretty damn noisy.
john kershaw wrote: click on her name in the posts list to the right.
head like a balloon, mind like a loon, likes to moon, and can't play a choon.
Yep...she's from Boorelton alright.
As opposed to..
He's uncool, didn't go to school, a bit of a tool, loves Harry Kewell, is a fool, will lose in a duel
Yeah, how good am i?
hmmm, not sure if you missed it or you're just being all bloody evasive and female.....
I wished to know, if, as a Bolton lass, you spoke like the Great Fred Dibnah?
The word Whole is pronounced WITH a W. And bloody, is a lot closer to blurry :)
Steve Campbell wrote: hmmm, not sure if you missed it or you're just being all bloody evasive and female.....
I wished to know, if, as a Bolton lass, you spoke like the Great Fred Dibnah?
The word Whole is pronounced WITH a W. And bloody, is a lot closer to blurry :)
Oh i thought you were referring to one of my posts. There are a few consonants us Bolton-ers drop.
For example, I live in Horwich - i pronounce it 'Orrich Bolton - Bowton I'm telling you - tell thi Darling - cock Water - wather
To name but a few.
I can speak Irish
Top o'the morning to ye da
Missy Jem wrote:
Aye! That's me, that is one terrified smile i'm telling you.
Hubba hubba!
Don't mind Mr. Campbell...he's actually an Akai sampler reprogrammed to autopost to this forum to boost traffic numbers. If you go here, he's the one in the 19-inch rack with the keyboard on his head, second photo down, on the left.
Serves me right for not having azureus blasting along and wrecking my connection, bloody webserver.
Jem you can whisper sweet nowts to me all yer want lass.
Actually, that's a quasimidi technox, and tbh I'm far more likely to be it (it jabbers a lot too), so you were right anyway.
EDIT: the only saving grace for me in those shots is that Rich looks worse. I'm figuring Jem's not seen me legs anyway or she'd not been seen dead on the same thread as me.
Steve Campbell wrote: Actually, that's a quasimidi technox, and tbh I'm far more likely to be it (it jabbers a lot too), so you were right anyway.
Yeah, but the Akai is the one with the really big knob.
Gnu Odor wrote:
Steve Campbell wrote: Actually, that's a quasimidi technox, and tbh I'm far more likely to be it (it jabbers a lot too), so you were right anyway.
Yeah, but the Akai is the one with the really big knob.
Cheers, that should impress her, 25 quid wasn't it
oh crap this isn't a PM?
what's the name of the jail that Steve's in?
surely they could have given him gardening or kitchen duties, not the crappy disco.
actually it's called the "Our Lady of the blessed Victor Lewis Smith crank phone call residence for the not-being-a-complete-fucking-mental-case-with-potentially-dangerous-symptoms-edly challenged"
Odd thing is I got promoted after only 3 weeks as deputy warden
Gnu Odor wrote:
Missy Jem wrote:
Aye! That's me, that is one terrified smile i'm telling you.
Hubba hubba!
Don't mind Mr. Campbell...he's actually an Akai sampler reprogrammed to autopost to this forum to boost traffic numbers. If you go here, he's the one in the 19-inch rack with the keyboard on his head, second photo down, on the left.
Right back atcha Gnu Odor
I always had my suspicions about Mr Campbell, he's here ALL the time. I mean doesn't he sleep?
PS: Mr Campbell, beauty is in the eye of the beerholder, and i think you's is well nice man.
hmmmmmmm never received a genuine compliment from someone who hadn't been standing on the other end of my speakers on better drugs then me before.
Steve Campbell wrote:
hmmmmmmm never received a genuine compliment from someone who hadn't been standing on the other end of my speakers on better drugs then me before.
I is bein genuine man!
What music do you play anyway Mr Steve?
Mainly very bad I never really grew out of that phase where kids get all the pots and pans and bate (that's an NI pronounciation for you) the shite out of them with pencils or knitting needles. I just bought/borrowed/lucked into bigger and better machines with flashing lights to help me. I DID manage to sane up enough to get a track on community :)
Or, there's a NO ripoff if you like
A quid says the websever, after showing everyone me doing the murph and the magictones singalong behind the mixer, will now bail rather than serve up a tune.....
EDIT: you get to hear the vocals when I've known you about 2 years :) This tune is not typical, it's just the shopfront....a Loss leader you might say.
Missy Jem wrote:
What music do you play anyway Mr Steve?
Mostly skin flute and some male organ. Har har.
Actually, I've got Mr. Campbell in my ear canal right this moment on my nifty iPod Shuffle. Very Aphex Twin Selected Ambient Works Vol. 2 at the moment.
OK, I'll leave you two alone now.
I'll have to have a go on my PC at home. My works computer is poo and doesn't have sound.
By the way just asked you a question in another thread. Is Joshua Brooks the pub down the side of the Apollo?
way to threadfuck there Gnu :)
ahh u fixed it :)
JB's is between some railway arches and the old factory offices about 1/2-1 mile from the Apollo.
If you have a hard time getting the file, lemme know (if i'm stil awake) and I'll have a word with the bandwidth bastard scripts.
EDIT: errrr Gnu, I might be wrong, but i don't THINK she's about to start humping my leg, for one thing it's difficult over TCP/IP and I'm on Linux too !
Well to be fair Mr Gnu, i can call you Gnu can't i?, this is a public forum? If it was a private conversation i would say...
"Mr Campbell, step into my office" (ooer!)
Oops, one last note and then back to work. If you'd ever get back to the Community 2 thread, Mr. Campbell, I've offered up some hot oral action.
Having been up for some 23+hours, i think i'm finally starting to fade. I go to bed now to dream sweet thoughts about how a world devoid of NO loving wenches has turned into a veritable feast. And how a hottie from Bolton who's also a total fucking mental case, said nice things to me. I will not be thinking of Gnu, or oral, and certainly not in any proximity that isn't most efficiently measured in parsecs.
night all (he says knowing full well he'll post again as like as not). I'll probably be back when you;ve all gone to bed.
Steve Campbell wrote: I go to bed now to dream sweet thoughts about how a world devoid of NO loving wenches has turned into a veritable feast. And how a hottie from Bolton who's also a total fucking mental case, said nice things to me.
Don't take any of that personally, Jem. All the testosterone he's had to take since the operation has made him really cranky. He's really a sweetheart.
Errr...I met my girlfriend on NOOL's sister site, Retroforward Radio. So ah...that must count for something, right?
Jem did you get that tune yet?
The rest of you are terribly smutty this morning.
Al if you can breathe through your ears, yer actual technique's wrong :)
Steve Campbell wrote: Jem did you get that tune yet?
The rest of you are terribly smutty this morning.
Al if you can breathe through your ears, yer actual technique's wrong :)
Erm i forgot, soz!
I was actually laying lino in my cupboard last night (don't ask) so didn't get on computer. But i will try this weekend. I could demolish a bottle of red wine this very minute - do you think they'd cotton on in work if i said i was drinking blackcurrant? I talk shite at the best of times so there won't be any change there.
Christopher Owens wrote: You said it.
By the way Mr Owen, i like your pointy school master smiley on your avatar. I want one...
Missy Jem wrote:
Steve Campbell wrote: Jem did you get that tune yet?
The rest of you are terribly smutty this morning.
Al if you can breathe through your ears, yer actual technique's wrong :)
Erm i forgot, soz!
I was actually laying lino in my cupboard last night (don't ask) so didn't get on computer. But i will try this weekend. I could demolish a bottle of red wine this very minute - do you think they'd cotton on in work if i said i was drinking blackcurrant? I talk shite at the best of times so there won't be any change there.
The only problem I see there is that starting this early usually leads to you being ruined by about 8. Never good.
Well if I'm not actually around NOOL when you're downloading, and it gives you any grief, mail me. The one below actually works (tho all it gets is "talk bollox" thread replies and spam)
No Spam, thanks, but I'd gladly split a virtual bottle of Australian shiraz with any of you.
Mind, it's 9 a.m. here, but I don't mind starting a couple of hours early in the name of trans-Atlantic relations.
Steve Campbell wrote: The rest of you are terribly smutty this morning.
I resent that insinuation.
I was only thinking that, perhaps the next time Missy Jem is going to lay something at her place, you might want to be there to pitch in.
Gnu Odor wrote:
Steve Campbell wrote: The rest of you are terribly smutty this morning.
I resent that insinuation.
I was only thinking that, perhaps the next time Missy Jem is going to lay something at her place, you might want to be there to pitch in.
Stop it, i'm blushing.
By the way, you actually look like your avatar! Cool. Have you got fries instead of hair?
LOL GNU, I don't think I even meant you :)
Now, you've made the lady blush, shame on you.
:)
You know, BIGINOIL doesn't have too much time left, poor luckless sod, and it would break his wee heart if this selfless thread of his didn't lead to at least one actual date.
Al Jarvis wrote: I can breathe through my ears!
Oooo I might just have to leave my husband...that's talent right there!!
Alas, since I am married as of 5 months I cannot participate in this, however, I love playing matchmaker. My matchmaking success rate? Don't ask ;)
No one would want me anyway...I'm boring (see the Dodgy Quiz thread if you don't believe me).
Heather
Rocket Mick wrote: I'm am that OLD you need to CARBON DATE me.But AM I BOTHERED?:D
an all-time RM classic! 
My geography's a little rusty ... what's the name of that romantic little island in the Irish Sea, about midway between Bangor and Bolton?
Gnu Odor wrote: My geography's a little rusty ... what's the name of that romantic little island in the Irish Sea, about midway between Bangor and Bolton?
isle of man is only romantic if you like bikers or norman wisdom...the later is great,he had such a rough upbringing and has my respect. his dad was an alchy and pulled his bicycle to pieces because norman forgot to get the spuds on way home from school.
FAC51 wrote: Enough! Will someone hook up already so the rest of us can watch?!
You're waiting for some NOOL cyber-sex?
Well Jem's actually the biggest mentalist on this site, if that doesn't count for something I dunno what does. Not bad going for a relaticve newbie as well, considering the here gathered ranks of nutters. Sadly it appears she has a life and consequently, better things to do that sit on NOOL all weekend.Which is a shame, cos I could certainly do with her entertainment :)
Romantic week in the IoM...nah..it's december! suspect tho that all you'll get to watch will be alcohol vanishing.
Pervs
Besidies,I'm sure Bangor and Bolton offer many wonderful places to get blocked and shout bollox.
I bet she met someone this weekend and will marrying him on Monday, just my luck :)
my excuse is that its 6pm here and i'm doing a job application. almost done, just one more paragraph.
It's 7am, and I've had 4 hours sleep, any wonder I pine for Missy Jem to come here and make me laugh :)
once in a while I do. rarely and not for long enough.
Every now and then it all gets too much and I shut down for about 36 hours :)
Believe it or not I wish I was back at work, it would make my newfound urge to see New Order several more times a lot easier. Iam getting really really fucking bored with sitting around all day every day. Going out and about has consequences so i try and avoid it. if it wasn't for all the crazy fuckers here I'd have gone postal a long time ago.
which is why I WANT JEM BACK!!! selfish bitch, having a life at weekends...I'm bored and she's funny whaaaaaaaahhhhh.
She's gonna read this on Monday and just think "ok, stalker! RUN AWAY"
I might make it my new year resolution to get a life, actually.Will probably only last till about the 4th of January , mind.
Although i did actually go out last night.After a meal with my family for my mum's birthday i went to see my mates band ,Painsville.They do punk pop stuff.They did a cover of Transmission as the last song.And my mate ,the drummer dedicated it to me.Which was nice.
Johnny wrote: I might make it my new year resolution to get a life, actually.Will probably only last till about the 4th of January , mind.
Although i did actually go out last night.After a meal with my family for my mum's birthday i went to see my mates band ,Painsville.They do punk pop stuff.They did a cover of Transmission as the last song.And my mate ,the drummer dedicated it to me.Which was nice.
Don't, I aint been to see a band (aprt from NO) in over a year....great fucking musician i am. I really miss just standing heckling the local bands in the pub, sometimes good natured, sometimes not. there's one old cunt who plays loads of shite country and AOR stuff, and we actually got barred from a pub because my mate unplugged his PA ( and I scrambled the controls before they plugged it back in again....impressive noise...the EQ in it self oscilated like a synth filter and nearly shook the building down....never ever heard anything like that happen on any other mixeramp thing ever...or any other kind of EQ for that matter) Beauty of it was, I was in the place 2 days later doing sound for a band (using the self same cack amp I'd molsted previously) so they couldn't chuck me out :)
Steve Campbell wrote:
She's gonna read this on Monday and just think "ok, stalker! RUN AWAY"
My loser-ass best friend used to say the exact same thing, and I eventually shamed and beat him into a relationship which he says is going to lead to a marriage proposal this Christmas.
So, in my experience, all signs point to a NOOL wedding in three years.
Pardon me now while I search for a nice Bed and Breakfast on the Isle of Man.
Fair enough, she'll be too busy tearing you a new one to even yell at me :D
in her absence the only thing keeping me laughing is that mixerman thing ROFMLAO.
(and all the matchmakers here)
Just noticed this thread today.
Wow, there are some sad, sad people around here!
And I'd like to add that I like unicorns and rainbows too.
BIGINOIL wrote: I like moons and spoons in June.
Do they up your dose around June time bigster?Is Christopher Bigginsummat your Rich uncle?Just wondering
TROOP wrote: Any body serious about getting a NOOL gathering in NYC Dec. 10?
Why December 10? Why not after?
TROOP wrote: Any body serious about getting a NOOL gathering in NYC Dec. 10?
Yeah, but you'll all have to pay for me (hee hee):) :D
Well unless you count me and Jem meeting here every afternoon and chasig each other round the threads like schoolkids. no :)
See the problem is.... She's not blind (tho the insanity thing does bode well I admit). and even if she were, I'm out of the shaggin game for the forseeable future, And I think we all know that a man who can't shag is as much use as a choloclate teapot to a hot blooded Bolton Bint.
Besides, we'd fall out of bed laughin at each other before we could even touch :)
It is just all about sex with you isn't it???
Jem, hon, you don't need sex do you? (Jem nods no) See, she doesn't need sex so get together already!
Heather
I Found Truth wrote: It is just all about sex with you isn't it???
Heather
LOL, I was 26 before I got laid, had a couple of years of rabbit emulation like everyone else, then got sick and ended up with thighs, bum and occasionally nutsack, red, swollen and sore, with the addidtional indigity that 30secs after getting out of the shower, the entire area is so rancid even I'VE lost interest in going there, which when you sonsider where masurbation comes on the average man's list of hobbies is a serious state of affairs....Heather...there are monks for whom the line "it is just all about sex with you isn't it" is infinitely more accurate. In fact, possibly the only creatues on God's earth for whom it's LESS all about sex are bleedin homaphrodies, and they can go fuck themselves.
:)
That should have the women just fucking FLOCKING to me.
I'll be fixed one day, and i'm quite sure that my dick will regain it's ability to completely short circuit my brain. get to know me now girls, enjoy while you can...a year from now I'll just be a dick-led bap-staring ape like the rest of us.
Hmmmm there may be a lot to say for that as a technique actually :D
EDIT: sorry heather, it was a mean and cheap trick to just blurt out the awful and disgusting truth like that. I know you (and the rest) have been being really sweet :)
bansheeman wrote: my god steve,26 errmm ive just had an idea for a shit thread
please no,dear god no. the last shit thread we had ended up with people eating it.yuk.
Gnu Odor wrote: sniff
Shut up. Just shut up. You had me at "nutsack."
sob
The morning I left for the apollo, I looked down in the shower and basically seen a spacehopper......an enormous red sphere, with some sort of distended protrusion just visible at the top.
I looked less like a bloke that a chick with elephantitis of the labia majora.
Steve Campbell wrote:
I Found Truth wrote: It is just all about sex with you isn't it???
Heather
LOL, I was 26 before I got laid, had a couple of years of rabbit emulation like everyone else, then got sick and ended up with thighs, bum and occasionally nutsack, red, swollen and sore, with the addidtional indigity that 30secs after getting out of the shower, the entire area is so rancid even I'VE lost interest in going there, which when you sonsider where masurbation comes on the average man's list of hobbies is a serious state of affairs....Heather...there are monks for whom the line "it is just all about sex with you isn't it" is infinitely more accurate. In fact, possibly the only creatues on God's earth for whom it's LESS all about sex are bleedin homaphrodies, and they can go fuck themselves.
:)
That should have the women just fucking FLOCKING to me.
I'll be fixed one day, and i'm quite sure that my dick will regain it's ability to completely short circuit my brain. get to know me now girls, enjoy while you can...a year from now I'll just be a dick-led bap-staring ape like the rest of us.
Hmmmm there may be a lot to say for that as a technique actually :D
EDIT: sorry heather, it was a mean and cheap trick to just blurt out the awful and disgusting truth like that. I know you (and the rest) have been being really sweet :)
That....was more than I ever wanted to know 
But what else is the internet for, if not for sharing painful genital irritation with a worldwide audience of countless millions! :p
I'm just jerking your chain, Steve-o...wait, that might not be a good idea right now 
well, I thought i'd put things in perspective.
Point of order though, **my gentials are not actually in any way the problem**, they are merely the innocent victim in a struggle being played out with in my sweat glands. They do intend fixing me, either by poisoning me with Vitamin A to stop ALL secretions (which there is an annoying likelyhood of me being in the middle of at NOOL day), and if that doesn't work they're gonna cut the lot out of me (not my fae option, but only because I will commit suicide if left in hospital for all the required months. Pissed off? me? whay whatever reason could I have for being pissed off. Ah well, at least the above will silence the matchmakers until such times as I'm fixed (by which time every girl here will have sent me a "ooooh you pooor dear" mail, and I'll have all them all to work though once I'm sorted[1]
[1] For once I'm, being optimistic...there's plenty of people who really can't get rid of this...but one assumes that the removal of half my groin and both armpts would sort of stop it if it really came down to it :)
Steve Campbell wrote: They do intend fixing me, either by poisoning me with Vitamin A to stop ALL secretions .
In the interim, you could quit eating the paint chips off of your bedroom wall.
already have...i've necked 'em all already.
The way I see it, at least now i KNOW that any woman chatting to me's not just after gettin some irish in em.
Gnu Odor wrote:
Steve Campbell wrote: They do intend fixing me, either by poisoning me with Vitamin A to stop ALL secretions .
In the interim, you could quit eating the paint chips off of your bedroom wall.
But the magical fairy that lives in my head tells me to!
As a cautionary tale for all this online "romancing", allow me to introduce one of my co-workers at Ingles, a forty-ish man who his ex-wife described as "a wet noodle" (and I don't think she was talking about his self-esteem). This guy met someone online while participating in a "Star Wars"-themed game, she's supposedly a cop from Washington State, and he got married to her last month...online.
I have no idea if they've ever met or not
And the ex-wife I mentioned? She was another woman he met online, who moved in and stole his money.
But I think if you steer clear of the whole "fantasy game" section of the internet, you should be fine...because everyone knows the "cute sixteen-year-old girl" you're talking to in a chat room is really an undercover cop looking to bust child molestors. Happy internet dating!
Well let me see....all the chicks off this place I already met were gorgeous, charming and witty in the extreme.
I'm very much looking forward to meeting Jem and Maya, and although rumpy pumpy is not really an option, I expect we'll be fast friends and have a great time until one of you good looking types comes along, and they forget I even exist.
BTW, I only just noticed your sig....I am SO glad I'm not the only person who's seen the connection between Nasty (it was Nasty? or was it Stig, DVD not here just now) and Steve Morris.
I Found Truth wrote: Steve and Jem need to get together so we have some hot gossip to discuss!
Heather
trust me, when Jem and i get together, you WILL have hot gossip, and it will be nothing to do with us jumping on each other. We'll "devastate the night together" and leave a smoking crater wherever it may be. Two mental cases of our calibre simple can't fail to cause mayhem.
Steve Campbell wrote:
I Found Truth wrote: Steve and Jem need to get together so we have some hot gossip to discuss!
Heather
trust me, when Jem and i get together, you WILL have hot gossip, and it will be nothing to do with us jumping on each other. We'll "devastate the night together" and leave a smoking crater wherever it may be. Two mental cases of our calibre simple can't fail to cause mayhem.
Anyone for a threesome?
I dunno, man you have responsibilities...who'd strangle the kids?
Actually, truth be told, you'll all get to hang out more than I will at NOOLday, I'll be all couped up behind a huge rack of machines and loving every minute :)
I just hope there's anyone left who can hold a conversation when I'm done :)
Fair enough..If you and your girlfriends change your minds I will be in the pub tonight..Laters peeps
