The special NOOL Dating Area

Now THAT ^ is bulk mail dating if ever I saw it...Maya could learn a thing or two from you.

Okay...is anyone here dating yet??

I want all the dirty details.

Heather

Well unless you count me and Jem meeting here every afternoon and chasig each other round the threads like schoolkids. no :)

Steve and Jem need to get together so we have some hot gossip to discuss!

Heather

See the problem is.... She's not blind (tho the insanity thing does bode well I admit). and even if she were, I'm out of the shaggin game for the forseeable future, And I think we all know that a man who can't shag is as much use as a choloclate teapot to a hot blooded Bolton Bint.

Besides, we'd fall out of bed laughin at each other before we could even touch :)

It is just all about sex with you isn't it???

Jem, hon, you don't need sex do you? (Jem nods no) See, she doesn't need sex so get together already!

Heather

I Found Truth wrote: It is just all about sex with you isn't it???

Heather

LOL, I was 26 before I got laid, had a couple of years of rabbit emulation like everyone else, then got sick and ended up with thighs, bum and occasionally nutsack, red, swollen and sore, with the addidtional indigity that 30secs after getting out of the shower, the entire area is so rancid even I'VE lost interest in going there, which when you sonsider where masurbation comes on the average man's list of hobbies is a serious state of affairs....Heather...there are monks for whom the line "it is just all about sex with you isn't it" is infinitely more accurate. In fact, possibly the only creatues on God's earth for whom it's LESS all about sex are bleedin homaphrodies, and they can go fuck themselves.

:)

That should have the women just fucking FLOCKING to me.

I'll be fixed one day, and i'm quite sure that my dick will regain it's ability to completely short circuit my brain. get to know me now girls, enjoy while you can...a year from now I'll just be a dick-led bap-staring ape like the rest of us.

Hmmmm there may be a lot to say for that as a technique actually :D

EDIT: sorry heather, it was a mean and cheap trick to just blurt out the awful and disgusting truth like that. I know you (and the rest) have been being really sweet :)

sniff

Shut up. Just shut up. You had me at "nutsack."

sob

my god steve,26 errmm ive just had an idea for a shit thread

bansheeman wrote: my god steve,26 errmm ive just had an idea for a shit thread

please no,dear god no. the last shit thread we had ended up with people eating it.yuk.

Gnu Odor wrote: sniff

Shut up. Just shut up. You had me at "nutsack."

sob

The morning I left for the apollo, I looked down in the shower and basically seen a spacehopper......an enormous red sphere, with some sort of distended protrusion just visible at the top.

I looked less like a bloke that a chick with elephantitis of the labia majora.

Steve Campbell wrote:

I Found Truth wrote: It is just all about sex with you isn't it???

Heather

LOL, I was 26 before I got laid, had a couple of years of rabbit emulation like everyone else, then got sick and ended up with thighs, bum and occasionally nutsack, red, swollen and sore, with the addidtional indigity that 30secs after getting out of the shower, the entire area is so rancid even I'VE lost interest in going there, which when you sonsider where masurbation comes on the average man's list of hobbies is a serious state of affairs....Heather...there are monks for whom the line "it is just all about sex with you isn't it" is infinitely more accurate. In fact, possibly the only creatues on God's earth for whom it's LESS all about sex are bleedin homaphrodies, and they can go fuck themselves.

:)

That should have the women just fucking FLOCKING to me.

I'll be fixed one day, and i'm quite sure that my dick will regain it's ability to completely short circuit my brain. get to know me now girls, enjoy while you can...a year from now I'll just be a dick-led bap-staring ape like the rest of us.

Hmmmm there may be a lot to say for that as a technique actually :D

EDIT: sorry heather, it was a mean and cheap trick to just blurt out the awful and disgusting truth like that. I know you (and the rest) have been being really sweet :)

That....was more than I ever wanted to know

But what else is the internet for, if not for sharing painful genital irritation with a worldwide audience of countless millions! :p

I'm just jerking your chain, Steve-o...wait, that might not be a good idea right now

well, I thought i'd put things in perspective.

Point of order though, **my gentials are not actually in any way the problem**, they are merely the innocent victim in a struggle being played out with in my sweat glands. They do intend fixing me, either by poisoning me with Vitamin A to stop ALL secretions (which there is an annoying likelyhood of me being in the middle of at NOOL day), and if that doesn't work they're gonna cut the lot out of me (not my fae option, but only because I will commit suicide if left in hospital for all the required months. Pissed off? me? whay whatever reason could I have for being pissed off. Ah well, at least the above will silence the matchmakers until such times as I'm fixed (by which time every girl here will have sent me a "ooooh you pooor dear" mail, and I'll have all them all to work though once I'm sorted[1]

[1] For once I'm, being optimistic...there's plenty of people who really can't get rid of this...but one assumes that the removal of half my groin and both armpts would sort of stop it if it really came down to it :)

Steve Campbell wrote: They do intend fixing me, either by poisoning me with Vitamin A to stop ALL secretions .

In the interim, you could quit eating the paint chips off of your bedroom wall.

already have...i've necked 'em all already.

The way I see it, at least now i KNOW that any woman chatting to me's not just after gettin some irish in em.

Gnu Odor wrote:

Steve Campbell wrote: They do intend fixing me, either by poisoning me with Vitamin A to stop ALL secretions .

In the interim, you could quit eating the paint chips off of your bedroom wall.

But the magical fairy that lives in my head tells me to!

As a cautionary tale for all this online "romancing", allow me to introduce one of my co-workers at Ingles, a forty-ish man who his ex-wife described as "a wet noodle" (and I don't think she was talking about his self-esteem). This guy met someone online while participating in a "Star Wars"-themed game, she's supposedly a cop from Washington State, and he got married to her last month...online.

I have no idea if they've ever met or not

And the ex-wife I mentioned? She was another woman he met online, who moved in and stole his money.

But I think if you steer clear of the whole "fantasy game" section of the internet, you should be fine...because everyone knows the "cute sixteen-year-old girl" you're talking to in a chat room is really an undercover cop looking to bust child molestors. Happy internet dating!

Well let me see....all the chicks off this place I already met were gorgeous, charming and witty in the extreme. I'm very much looking forward to meeting Jem and Maya, and although rumpy pumpy is not really an option, I expect we'll be fast friends and have a great time until one of you good looking types comes along, and they forget I even exist.

BTW, I only just noticed your sig....I am SO glad I'm not the only person who's seen the connection between Nasty (it was Nasty? or was it Stig, DVD not here just now) and Steve Morris.

I Found Truth wrote: Steve and Jem need to get together so we have some hot gossip to discuss!

Heather

trust me, when Jem and i get together, you WILL have hot gossip, and it will be nothing to do with us jumping on each other. We'll "devastate the night together" and leave a smoking crater wherever it may be. Two mental cases of our calibre simple can't fail to cause mayhem.

Steve Campbell wrote:

I Found Truth wrote: Steve and Jem need to get together so we have some hot gossip to discuss!

Heather

trust me, when Jem and i get together, you WILL have hot gossip, and it will be nothing to do with us jumping on each other. We'll "devastate the night together" and leave a smoking crater wherever it may be. Two mental cases of our calibre simple can't fail to cause mayhem.

Anyone for a threesome?

I dunno, man you have responsibilities...who'd strangle the kids?

Actually, truth be told, you'll all get to hang out more than I will at NOOLday, I'll be all couped up behind a huge rack of machines and loving every minute :)

I just hope there's anyone left who can hold a conversation when I'm done :)

Fair enough..If you and your girlfriends change your minds I will be in the pub tonight..Laters peeps