Any words of advice or good tales to tell?
p.s. nothing said herein comprises anything that could filtrate to anybody's Wife/Husband/Partner future or ex. End
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Advice from the collective wisdom ... tonight is my stag do ;)
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If your friends are evil, then run away!!
They may shave your eyebrows, sellotape you naked to a lamp post, put you on a train to hundreds of miles away with no money... if you're lucky.
Don't worry about it though, i'm sure they wouldn't do anything like that (yeah right)!
Have fun and good luck!
LOL, my mum used to work as a haridresser in Hollywood (CO. Down, the original and best). One of her colleagues was getting married. They tied her to a chair and tied the chair to the town's maypole (which sticks up like a incongruous boner from the middle of a road). About 20 mins later they seen the cops looking at her. They came over to the shop and asked if they were responsible. When they heard that my mum and her lot were in fact the guilty ones tey said. "we'll I'm sorry, this is just unacceptable, I'll have to go back to the station and consult the duty sarge"
Ten mins later a police landrover with a trailer showed up, they hauled the unfourtunate lass into the trailer and drove her round the town for an hour with the sirens on.
Brilliant.
So some Police Officers have a sense of humour!
Not round our way. You rob a bank, and there's not the merest hint of a smile. Miserable gits.
that was back in the 70's so the cops were probably just chuffed no one was shooting at them.. I have to say tho, even to this day our cops are not robots like US ones, or increasingly mainland ones. They will let you go if the think you're not a bad sort (if you;ve only done somethign minor, "you look all right, we'll say no more about that car bomb" is not a common phrase).
As for Stag Dos....hmmm indelable marker drawings of grotesuely exaggerated male genitalia on the Groom's face. Bottle tops super glued to skin. Eyes taped shut with a rizzla for amusement, or gaffer tape for real fun. In fact, gaffering someone to the floor when they pass out is a fun game at any party. but you MUST, use real gaffer, not the 49p stuff from poundstretcher, and you must NOT use it on an engineer or muso, cos they will know how to get out of it fast enough to injure you :)
Steve Campbell wrote: that was back in the 70's so the cops were probably just chuffed no one was shooting at them.. I have to say tho, even to this day our cops are not robots like US ones, or increasingly mainland ones. They will let you go if the think you're not a bad sort (if you;ve only done somethign minor, "you look all right, we'll say no more about that car bomb" is not a common phrase).
As for Stag Dos....hmmm indelable marker drawings of grotesuely exaggerated male genitalia on the Groom's face. Bottle tops super glued to skin. Eyes taped shut with a rizzla for amusement, or gaffer tape for real fun. In fact, gaffering someone to the floor when they pass out is a fun game at any party. but you MUST, use real gaffer, not the 49p stuff from poundstretcher, and you must NOT use it on an engineer or muso, cos they will know how to get out of it fast enough to injure you :)
back in the Marty McGartland days hey Ste
john kershaw wrote:
Steve Campbell wrote: that was back in the 70's so the cops were probably just chuffed no one was shooting at them.. I have to say tho, even to this day our cops are not robots like US ones, or increasingly mainland ones. They will let you go if the think you're not a bad sort (if you;ve only done somethign minor, "you look all right, we'll say no more about that car bomb" is not a common phrase).
As for Stag Dos....hmmm indelable marker drawings of grotesuely exaggerated male genitalia on the Groom's face. Bottle tops super glued to skin. Eyes taped shut with a rizzla for amusement, or gaffer tape for real fun. In fact, gaffering someone to the floor when they pass out is a fun game at any party. but you MUST, use real gaffer, not the 49p stuff from poundstretcher, and you must NOT use it on an engineer or muso, cos they will know how to get out of it fast enough to injure you :)
back in the Marty McGartland days hey Ste
You're confusing "cop on street" for "the cops" :)
Don't forget the Imac scalp massage spraying the boxer's laid out for wedding day with deep heat And my all time fave for passouts...a mars bar down the back of the trunks, accimpanied by a good trouser soaking of fart spray abd maybe even a tiny drop of stink bomb.
Seen it performed on some hairy guitarist one night, upon waking, he leapt up, blanched completely white and bolted for home. he was not seen for three weeks and the issue was never spoken of again apparently, which was a shame cos I really wanted to know why he dissappeared for so long....did still think he's shit himself? or had he realised he'd been duped and felt that that was a worse indignity? i'll just have to do it on someone and observe more closely.
I'd like to suggest something crazy, like showing up sober for the wedding as to avoid vomiting and/or fainting during the vows.
Failing that, Liquid Ass.
Gnu Odor wrote: I'd like to suggest something crazy, like showing up sober for the wedding as to avoid vomiting and/or fainting during the vows.
Failing that, Liquid Ass.
Well really...
Remind me not to invite you to my next Candlelight Supper.
Tut
Gnu Odor wrote: I'd like to suggest something crazy, like showing up sober for the wedding as to avoid vomiting and/or fainting during the vows.
Failing that, Liquid Ass.
keep your dangerous extremist nonsense to yourself freak!
thanks for liquid ass link, it'll make choc bar down the bags go much better.
Missy Jem wrote:
Remind me not to invite you to my next Candlelight Supper.
Why not? It's nonflammable!
Isn't a candelight supper in bolton just usually sitting round a burning car, eating rat-a-la-burning-car ?
Steve Campbell wrote: Isn't a candelight supper in bolton just usually sitting round a burning car, eating rat-a-la-burning-car ?
Sniff. At least we've got cars in Bolton.
Gnu Odor wrote:
Missy Jem wrote:
Remind me not to invite you to my next Candlelight Supper.
Why not? It's nonflammable!
That's fine then. Next Tuesday evening 9pm. Don't be late.
