The perils of dating in Austin, Texas

Another LOSER

Erm. Small question...

PENGUIN COLLECTOR???????

Enlighten me please!!

Chocolate biscuit eater is our JEFF!:D

P-P-P-Pleased you told me that!

Missy Jem wrote: P-P-P-Pleased you told me that!

BOOM BOOM

How male..... No Blow Job=No point

78681 wrote: Suddenly, it hits me...I've been chatting up a lesbian...

I get the feeling I might know the broad, just because I think I know the five NO femme's from our big state.

That's alright, my dating blunder in Austin was walking into a leather club. It didn't sink in until someone asked me if I wanted to "play".

I thought that they were asking if I wanted to d.j.

I swear I'm not so thick 1/4 of the time

At least you didn't get "New Order, who?" which is then followed by "That band that covered that Orgy song?"

:) At least in Texas they do recognize and appreciate New Order. Yo!

"That band that covered that Orgy song?"

Headbutting offence surely?

Jeff, JEFF, JEFF!!

A lesbian is your fastest ticket to a three way!!!!

I just don't get the walkin away thing. If I walked away from every chick who wasn't up for shagging me,I'd never have said more than "hello" to a woman in my life probably

78681 wrote: Just remembered this little tidbit from the other night, and thought some of YOU would get a little laugh out of it...

I approach a rather attractive young lady the other night, we get to talking, things seem to be going splendidly. In the course of conversation I find out that she is a penguin collector, just like me. We get to talking about music, and we come to find out that we enjoy many of the same artists...including my beloved New order...

anyways, after about 20 minutes or so, she kind of hesitates, and then asks me if I'm flirting with her...

Of course, the best answer I can come up with is, "Yes".

At which point she points to another female just across the way and says.... "Weeeeeeellllll...see that girl over there?"

"Yes, is that your roommate?"

Her response is a wee bit unsettling, "Well, I guess you could say that she is."

Suddenly, it hits me...I've been chatting up a lesbian...

So...do not pass go, don't collect $200, and don't even bother asking for a phone number...

I guess the New order thing SHOULD have given it away???

The Lesbo Order are alive and kicking..

Steve Campbell wrote:

"That band that covered that Orgy song?"

Headbutting offence surely?

Cold shoulder and him following me around the club asking what he'd said wrong, more like.

i've been that guy...... Girl mentions a band and I'll say something hilarious witty clever like "isn't ehir $MEMBER" a raging chutnry ferret?

Of course that's the bloke she's had her hand down her knicks for 2 years over. End of date.

Yes...really it's happened to me more than once, although the offensive statements were not the one used (dunno what they were it was LONG ago)

EDIT: in fairness the bands we're talking about and the offense caused really just did me a favour....who the fuck wnts to go out with a chick who's into meat loaf.

Steve Campbell wrote: who the fuck wnts to go out with a chick who's into meat loaf.

Literally? Into MeatLoaf, I mean?

twist wrote: Jeff, JEFF, JEFF!!

A lesbian is your fastest ticket to a three way!!!!

Two hot lesbians, into New Order....Some people see every guy's fantasy, some people go home and play with their penguin collections.

Comrade ...thankfully no I was merely hyperbolizing again.

westlife yes u2 yes *you can IMAGINE how that conversation went) DM yes INXS yes (again telepathy not required) actually come to think of it I've gobshited my way out of a lot of potential sex....doesn't even matter if I don't actually loathe the band either...I'm just a natural witty/offensive comeback kinda guy. Short dates lots of short dates

I ruin dates because when we go to kiss, I start laughing at nosehair or a wonky smell, or something in the distance behind them, or aliens have landed OR MAYBE THE SET UP IS JUST A LITTLE BIT TOO CHEESE AND RICE -

and for some reason, most guys really don't dig on a chick laughing at them while they are trying to be smooth like, see?

Thank the stars the man I'm with can blow a fart during a kiss, and we can both share a good laugh on it.

msh wrote: Thank the stars the man I'm with can blow a fart during a kiss, and we can both share a good laugh on it.

mmmm... that doesn't sound really romantic.

|| | ||| 6217|| 8 || 3 wrote:

msh wrote: Thank the stars the man I'm with can blow a fart during a kiss, and we can both share a good laugh on it.

mmmm... that doesn't sound really romantic.

I was never a traditionally romantic girl.

A diamond isn't my idea of security; a block of concrete, however...

Better eat your spinach to grows the Popeye forearms you'll need to sport that block.

|| | ||| 6217|| 8 || 3 wrote:

msh wrote: Thank the stars the man I'm with can blow a fart during a kiss, and we can both share a good laugh on it.

mmmm... that doesn't sound really romantic.

sounds perfectly sweet

actually melly i can see the problem now

Comrade Shampanyov wrote: Better eat your spinach to grows the Popeye forearms you'll need to sport that block.

Well, there was that spinach salad with corned beef I had tonight.. what, maybe every day for a year oughta do the trick?

msh wrote:

|| | ||| 6217|| 8 || 3 wrote:

msh wrote: Thank the stars the man I'm with can blow a fart during a kiss, and we can both share a good laugh on it.

mmmm... that doesn't sound really romantic.

I was never a traditionally romantic girl.

Well it's all a transitional period... You'll get older and you'll understand and surely embrace the beauty of romance. Right now it's impossible [unmöglich] to explain it to you. I am acutely aware how you want to destroy everything [alles] and how you want to meet peculiar men... but that's just an issue of age.

|| | ||| 6217|| 8 || 3 wrote:

Well it's all a transitional period... You'll get older and you'll understand and surely embrace the beauty of romance. Right now it's impossible [unmöglich] to explain it to you.

Oh, you mean that idea of mythic proportions where I get roses and letters and poetry and gentlemanly affectations bestowed upon my graceful hand sort of thing? The stars being shown to me, and we can lie on the beach and just be like a Calvin Klein commercial?

Oh, I get that, and it's well appreciated and duly repaid - but I've got to have a laugh. It's a healthy human nature.

:)

msh wrote:

|| | ||| 6217|| 8 || 3 wrote:

Well it's all a transitional period... You'll get older and you'll understand and surely embrace the beauty of romance. Right now it's impossible [unmöglich] to explain it to you.

Oh, you mean that idea of mythic proportions where I get roses and letters and poetry and gentlemanly affectations bestowed upon my graceful hand sort of thing? The stars being shown to me, and we can lie on the beach and just be like a Calvin Klein commercial?

Oh, I get that, and it's well appreciated and duly repaid - but I've got to have a laugh. It's a healthy human nature.

:)

Well good for you

I hope your good lady gets to experience your romance, Ian. You sound like you've got a good dose to give.

msh wrote: I hope your good lady gets to experience your romance, Ian. You sound like you've got a good dose to give.

:) I'm a master of great expectations

|| | ||| 6217|| 8 || 3 wrote:

I'm a master of great expectations

Great expectations lay the foundation for even greater realities. :D If it weren't for dreamers, the world would never have any doers, I think.

Or, rather, the doers would have no one to do the reality for without the dreamers. A bit symbiotic the two sides are.