Have you ever thought about consuming an entire Christmas turkey?

Just to stem the tide from all these suicidal polls (by suicidal Poles, nonetheless).

Think of it: the whole family has gathered around the dinner table on Christmas evening, all ready for the delicious turkey which sits in the center of the settings...have you ever thought about trying to eat the turkey, and only the turkey, all by yourself, fending off the complaints of those around you as you barrel through thighs, breasts, and ribs, consuming the entire bird while they look on first in anger, then disbelief, then admiration, then disgust, and finally concern that you will suffer a massive coronary before the night is through?

Well, have you?

I just want the white meat. Legs, wings and dark matter are for others. I really don't care about the rest of the food except for maybe the beans with crunchie onions and creeam of mushroom soup on top. However, last Christmas I was given a "smoker" and I discovered that smoking a turkey brings out the flavor in dark meat.

I eat the white meat also. I'm health conscious.

DIGGY MIKE would rather you GOBBLE IT all down.Ask MAYA?

I see she has kissed and told again !

Errr define "entire"? Are we talking about eating all the meat off an oven ready bird or do you have to eats the bones too? And are we talking Rick Stein Style?

(for those who do not know, Rick Stein is an excellent chef and accomplished gobshite, but he eats whole fish....complete with piss shit, cum, puke,eggs, and all the various checmicals in the organs.....wrong wrong wrong....I'm not THAT fussy an eater....but cold, raw, fish spunk, lies a little outside my tastes)

Does Rick Waller or Michelle McManus visit this site?

no way, Ricky boy would have eaten the thing...and us too.

a whole turkey by myself, that thought alone might turn me into a true vegetarian. don't get me wrong i love meat and turkeys just not that much at once.

digital mike binoche wrote: I see she has kissed and told again !

In The Sunday people this week Ilkston was featured.Big smack problem in Derbyshire town 1 in 7 users,probably exaggerated with the papers Did you see the article Didgy?

no.

ate a whole duck last night though. and a whole cucumber. and a bunch of spring onions. and a huge bucket of that hoi sin sauce

always thought about it,but our mother would'nt of liked it so I never..I ate every fuckers sprouts cos no one else but me and her liked em.reesult.Turkey and cranberry sauce

twist wrote: I just want the white meat. Legs, wings and dark matter are for others. I really don't care about the rest of the food except for maybe the beans with crunchie onions and creeam of mushroom soup on top. However, last Christmas I was given a "smoker" and I discovered that smoking a turkey brings out the flavor in dark meat.

then buy turkey roll/wafer at the deli counter then.

Boatraceface wrote: I ate every fuckers sprouts cos no one else but me and her liked em

Did you get sent to your room a lot on Christmas day...couple of hours after dinner?

craig's digitalwaters wrote: Does Rick Waller or Michelle McManus visit this site?

That would be some feeding frenzy,better make it an ostrich..

Steve Campbell wrote:

Boatraceface wrote: I ate every fuckers sprouts cos no one else but me and her liked em

Did you get sent to your room a lot on Christmas day...couple of hours after dinner?

:fart:

:barf:

sprouts, carrots,peas, cabbage etc are what makes a turkey dinner.

oh...and gravy. mmmmmmm. northern boys love gravy

I should have clarified...the bones are off-limits. Because that would just be stupid :p

I just figured it might be a good topic this week, what with Christmas around the corner :D

yeah...like we all eat the bones

gimme a shout if you need help

Boatraceface wrote: always thought about it,but our mother would'nt of liked it so I never..I ate every fuckers sprouts cos no one else but me and her liked em.reesult.Turkey and cranberry sauce

Boatraceface, please come to my parents for Christmas Dinner. I hate sprouts, i rang Childline once cos they made me eat sprouts and didn't get me a Scalextric. My dad says now i've turned 30 i should be eating sprouts. HELP!!

Ugh Sprouts, hang on,

I could go down on a bird right now.

Gnu Odor wrote: I could go down on a bird right now.

And i thought you were a good boy...

Missy Jem wrote:

Boatraceface wrote: always thought about it,but our mother would'nt of liked it so I never..I ate every fuckers sprouts cos no one else but me and her liked em.reesult.Turkey and cranberry sauce

Boatraceface, please come to my parents for Christmas Dinner. I hate sprouts, i rang Childline once cos they made me eat sprouts and didn't get me a Scalextric. My dad says now i've turned 30 i should be eating sprouts. HELP!!

Ugh Sprouts, hang on,

"Am I really daddy? Thirty? me? not a little girl now? goood...you eat the fookin sprouts cuntface I'm getting the trifle down my neck and getting bogged into that bottle of bailey's I seen on the way in"

It's too big, and I'm a vegetarian.

Turkey's a vegetable, right?

No, it's a country!

Bloody yanks!

until recently i thought not,but some freinds threw a suprise birthday bash for me recently and when they turned out with a huge side of beef complete with roast spuds and parsnips ect i did think for a moment "wheres everyone elses`. lol.

Missy Jem wrote:

Boatraceface wrote: always thought about it,but our mother would'nt of liked it so I never..I ate every fuckers sprouts cos no one else but me and her liked em.reesult.Turkey and cranberry sauce

Boatraceface, please come to my parents for Christmas Dinner. I hate sprouts, i rang Childline once cos they made me eat sprouts and didn't get me a Scalextric. My dad says now i've turned 30 i should be eating sprouts. HELP!!

Ugh Sprouts, hang on,

You know I'm working that day...but. smoke me a kipper I'll be back for breakfast:D

now if they fried the turkey! Yummmy Yummy

Missy Jem wrote:

Boatraceface wrote: always thought about it,but our mother would'nt of liked it so I never..I ate every fuckers sprouts cos no one else but me and her liked em.reesult.Turkey and cranberry sauce

Boatraceface, please come to my parents for Christmas Dinner. I hate sprouts, i rang Childline once cos they made me eat sprouts and didn't get me a Scalextric. My dad says now i've turned 30 i should be eating sprouts. HELP!!

Ugh Sprouts, hang on,

I'm 21 and my mother does the same thing to me. She thinks that because I'm 21 I should now be eating beans and zucchini on my own, although I loathe both equally. I know what's good for me, and gagging on a spoonful of beans isn't.

Steve Campbell wrote:

Missy Jem wrote:

Boatraceface wrote: always thought about it,but our mother would'nt of liked it so I never..I ate every fuckers sprouts cos no one else but me and her liked em.reesult.Turkey and cranberry sauce

Boatraceface, please come to my parents for Christmas Dinner. I hate sprouts, i rang Childline once cos they made me eat sprouts and didn't get me a Scalextric. My dad says now i've turned 30 i should be eating sprouts. HELP!!

Ugh Sprouts, hang on,

"Am I really daddy? Thirty? me? not a little girl now? goood...you eat the fookin sprouts cuntface I'm getting the trifle down my neck and getting bogged into that bottle of bailey's I seen on the way in"

Then when he gives me a thick ear, i'll tell him YOU made me do it.

Boatraceface wrote:

Missy Jem wrote:

Boatraceface wrote: always thought about it,but our mother would'nt of liked it so I never..I ate every fuckers sprouts cos no one else but me and her liked em.reesult.Turkey and cranberry sauce

Boatraceface, please come to my parents for Christmas Dinner. I hate sprouts, i rang Childline once cos they made me eat sprouts and didn't get me a Scalextric. My dad says now i've turned 30 i should be eating sprouts. HELP!!

Ugh Sprouts, hang on,

You know I'm working that day...but. smoke me a kipper I'll be back for breakfast:D

Oh, ha how could i forget!

Kipper??? Bleeeeuuuurrggh. Bet you stink!

78681 wrote:

Missy Jem wrote:

Gnu Odor wrote: I could go down on a bird right now.

And i thought you were a good boy...

some women might think that to be a very good boy...

Yeah, you've got a point there...

Missy Jem wrote:

Boatraceface wrote:

Missy Jem wrote:

Boatraceface wrote: always thought about it,but our mother would'nt of liked it so I never..I ate every fuckers sprouts cos no one else but me and her liked em.reesult.Turkey and cranberry sauce

Boatraceface, please come to my parents for Christmas Dinner. I hate sprouts, i rang Childline once cos they made me eat sprouts and didn't get me a Scalextric. My dad says now i've turned 30 i should be eating sprouts. HELP!!

Ugh Sprouts, hang on,

You know I'm working that day...but. smoke me a kipper I'll be back for breakfast:D

Oh, ha how could i forget!

Kipper??? Bleeeeuuuurrggh. Bet you stink!

You've never seen Red Dwarf then Jem:( AND you Don't eat your greens But hey, thanks for the invite..Tho I suspect I was being used as some kind of Brussels makeweight..like a French farming subsidy/rebate.All I want are the sprout baby...Ar luv sprouts me like

I have, but i'm being numb today, i've got a bad hangover.

BRF: "WHAT???? So she doesn't watch Red Dwarf, doesn't eat her greens and now she drinks!! Disgraceful, i hope my two don't end up like that!!"

Missy Jem wrote: I have, but i'm being numb today, i've got a bad hangover.

BRF: "WHAT???? So she doesn't watch Red Dwarf, doesn't eat her greens and now she drinks!! Disgraceful, i hope my two don't end up like that!!"

That would be my 3...and they all hate sprouts and like Guiness...I better keep an eye on this.One of them was was watching Bolton Wanderers the other day.Shit,I really need to keep an eye on this

Thin ice boatrace, very thin ice...

Boatraceface wrote:

Missy Jem wrote: I have, but i'm being numb today, i've got a bad hangover.

BRF: "WHAT???? So she doesn't watch Red Dwarf, doesn't eat her greens and now she drinks!! Disgraceful, i hope my two don't end up like that!!"

That would be my 3...and they all hate sprouts and like Guiness...I better keep an eye on this.One of them was was watching Bolton Wanderers the other day.Shit,I really need to keep an eye on this

The less said about Bolton Wanderers.

Hey PHD, last time we played Everton at home (sometime in the summer) we met three mega lads from Everton outside the pub. They just steamed into our table by putting loads of family sized bags of crisps on it, how could we refuse? We had the best laugh ever with em and have made a date to see them next time they're at home with us. They were a bunch of knobs, but we loved em! You like that then?

De Do Doh,Don't Dey?

De certainly do!

a modern version of the old toffee lady? bunch of lads handing out crips to (very) strange women.

Steve Campbell wrote: a modern version of the old toffee lady? bunch of lads handing out crips to (very) strange women.

...very strange but goregous women please.

A grovelling apology oh most gorgeous and most strange chick of all.

Oh go on then, seeing as it's Christmas!

confused....was that in response to me or the whole "thread concept" in gerneral? (remember...Irish...not clever)

You were doing this...

I have decided to forgive you.

most regal of you m'lady.

Another in gratitude, now I'll beat feet before you change yer mind :)

Missy Jem wrote: Hey PHD, last time we played Everton at home (sometime in the summer) we met three mega lads from Everton outside the pub. They just steamed into our table by putting loads of family sized bags of crisps on it, how could we refuse? We had the best laugh ever with em and have made a date to see them next time they're at home with us. They were a bunch of knobs, but we loved em! You like that then?

Well I wouldn't say I was a knob. Quite restrained these days. Ah crisps and banter, works every time.

And no I've never thought of eating a whole chuck!

PHD wrote:

Missy Jem wrote: Hey PHD, last time we played Everton at home (sometime in the summer) we met three mega lads from Everton outside the pub. They just steamed into our table by putting loads of family sized bags of crisps on it, how could we refuse? We had the best laugh ever with em and have made a date to see them next time they're at home with us. They were a bunch of knobs, but we loved em! You like that then?

Well I wouldn't say I was a knob. Quite restrained these days. Ah crisps and banter, works every time.

And no I've never thought of eating a whole chuck!

Once a knob always a knob (which is a worry for me). There was definite banter, one of them was trying to get stuck into my mate for 4 hours and no matter how many times she blew him out, he'd stare longingly into her eyes and sigh.

Ha God loves a trier (but not an Evertonian in this case)!

Fuck yeah, I've thought about doing that every year.........this is America.......we need more, more, more, more, more........till we end up like this.......

[/sarcasm]

Missy Jem wrote:

PHD wrote:

Missy Jem wrote: Hey PHD, last time we played Everton at home (sometime in the summer) we met three mega lads from Everton outside the pub. They just steamed into our table by putting loads of family sized bags of crisps on it, how could we refuse? We had the best laugh ever with em and have made a date to see them next time they're at home with us. They were a bunch of knobs, but we loved em! You like that then?

Well I wouldn't say I was a knob. Quite restrained these days. Ah crisps and banter, works every time.

And no I've never thought of eating a whole chuck!

Once a knob always a knob (which is a worry for me). There was definite banter, one of them was trying to get stuck into my mate for 4 hours and no matter how many times she blew him out, he'd stare longingly into her eyes and sigh.

Ha God loves a trier (but not an Evertonian in this case)!

They normally move on to the next fixture. Result comes good soon enough.