Hi. Im drummer in a band with Jack_H. We are gonna be mint someday, u know ur all gonna buy the albums!! Anyway thought it was time i joined here, Jacks been asking me to. So hi.
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Yes Andy 
Glad to see you finally made it on here 
What do you mean we're gonna be mint "someday"....we already are and you know it......
See ya soon man
Just what we need....another fuckin drummer....watch yer beer/fags/weed/girlfriends lads.
Only thing is Andy....with a name like Twatto, no cunt's gonna know if someone means you or any one of the other twats round here.
Now come on, a bit steriotypical there. But fair enough i guess. Yeah well its kinda my nickname now thanks to Jack. In all fairness, Hooky gave it me so im quite happy to stick with it anyway.
Twatto wrote: Now come on, a bit steriotypical there. But fair enough i guess. Yeah well its kinda my nickname now thanks to Jack. In all fairness, Hooky gave it me so im quite happy to stick with it anyway.
ROFLMAO...sounds about right. I think he only stopped calling Steve M names when he bought a tank or two ;)
Rocket Mick wrote: fROM ONE TWATTOanother WELCOME!.Can you lend me a fiver please?
Sigh...no MICK..HE is the drummer...that's HIS line ;)
Twatto wrote: Yeah man, sorry i got it wrong. I meant mint-er someday. Ie Pearl Jam mint.
Why aim so low?
Welcome, twat.
Let us know when you play, i'll come and fill your audience out a bit.
I could even play the tambourine if you wanted...
Missy Jem wrote: Let us know when you play, i'll come and fill your audience out a bit.
I could even play the tambourine if you wanted...
Fookin hell.....Jem as Bez...what a thought.
And you gotta wonder just how much funk a white chick from Bolton's gonna have :D
Comrade Shampanyov wrote:
Twatto wrote: Yeah man, sorry i got it wrong. I meant mint-er someday. Ie Pearl Jam mint.
Why aim so low?
Low? Does nobody except me and Jack think Pearl Jam are amazing? Ah well, We'll be mint anyway.
Must say I don;t care for PJ a great deal (used to play a few of their tunes in a band I was in once mind you)...but there's a difference between not likeing something and it being shite. I may not love them but I'm not so childish as to consider my taste to be objectively "correct". You cannot say any of them are substandard musicians or that EV cannot sing (albeit he does do by opening his moth sideways...but we wont get into that...I assume jack showed you that video of creed and PJ and Ray charles). Please keep in mind for future refererence that music is probably the only thing you'll ever see me acting reasonable and grown-up over....most of the time I'm in the sandpit looking for dog turds to throw like everyone else around here ;)
Twatto wrote:
Comrade Shampanyov wrote:
Twatto wrote: Yeah man, sorry i got it wrong. I meant mint-er someday. Ie Pearl Jam mint.
Why aim so low?
Low? Does nobody except me and Jack think Pearl Jam are amazing? Ah well, We'll be mint anyway.
Wishlist is one of the better songs ever written, but thats about it old son!
Twatto wrote:
Comrade Shampanyov wrote:
Twatto wrote: Yeah man, sorry i got it wrong. I meant mint-er someday. Ie Pearl Jam mint.
Why aim so low?
Low? Does nobody except me and Jack think Pearl Jam are amazing?
No. 
Ah well, We'll be mint anyway.
Aim high. :D
Best thing I ever saw Pearl Jam do was Adam Sandler as Eddie Vedder on Saturday Night Live. Mint, as you say. 
Missy Jem wrote: Let us know when you play, i'll come and fill your audience out a bit.
I could even play the tambourine if you wanted...
Why not?
She can pole dance an'all
AND if you suck really badly....she can do a comedy routine with her parrot while you leg it ;)
only thing is, she has a gob like a field Howitzer and a wit like a rusty laser beam :D
I will now go and pray to the Gods of the internet that this thread sinks without trace by Monday ;)
Twatto wrote:
Missy Jem wrote: Let us know when you play, i'll come and fill your audience out a bit.
I could even play the tambourine if you wanted...
Why not?
Why am I reminded of Spinal Tap playing free form jazz...?
Comrade Shampanyov wrote:
Twatto wrote:
Missy Jem wrote: Let us know when you play, i'll come and fill your audience out a bit.
I could even play the tambourine if you wanted...
Why not?
Why am I reminded of Spinal Tap playing free form jazz...?
I really have to find John Lennon and that tumour Yoko Ono on stage with Frank Zappa....you could never EVER script sillier.
EDIT...I mean a video I have of it somewhere....as opposed to the set up line for a play ...."act3 scene 2: Steve finds John Len....."
Except possibly a mental pisshead from Bolton pole dancing with a tambourine while telling joke to a parrot, as accompaniment to a metal band[1]
[1]Dear Jack and Andy, please don't bother explaining some subtle reason why you are not metal....I, like the trolls of the Discworld who have one word "oooograhh" for all vegetable matter from algae to giant redwood.....have but one word "metal" for everything from King Crimson to extreme noise terror, from bon jovi to.....nah I'm only kidding bout Bon Jovi...there's another word from him.... ;).
Steve Campbell wrote: [1]Dear Jack and Andy, please don't bother explaining some subtle reason why you are not metal....I, like the trolls of the Discworld who have one word "oooograhh" for all vegetable matter from algae to giant redwood.....have but one word "metal" for everything from King Crimson to extreme noise terror, from bon jovi to.....nah I'm only kidding bout Bon Jovi...there's another word from him.... ;).
Ook?
i mean, 'mint'
maybe you could become the British version of Interpol, that is what is needed ... they are an example of an American band that should be copied by Brits ...
being the next Pearl Jam does not upset your parents enough, maybe you should be punk rockers... that'll piss 'em off
Steve Campbell wrote: AND if you suck really badly....she can do a comedy routine with her parrot while you leg it ;)
Nice to see people have faith in us....
No VIP passes for you.
Steve Campbell wrote: That's you think....I'm Jem's manager ;)
up to you NOT to suck :D
Managers are disposable....
Oh dont worry about that, we wont suck. Jack wouldnt dare let us suck, imagine what his dad would say...
Fuck me, that's a thought.....I thought we had a hard time of it with hecklers....imagine having the master-gobshite, the heckler-wrecker himself yelling at you....a veritable gamekeeper turned poacher.
My point exactly. We have no alternative but to be good, we cant afford not to. But with Jack on bass, and Dyl on guitar, we cant fail. Unless i really let the side down, which is possible...
Twatto wrote: My point exactly. We have no alternative but to be good, we cant afford not to. But with Jack on bass, and Dyl on guitar, we cant fail. Unless i really let the side down, which is possible...
who is gonna be the songwriter?
pumped full of drugs wrote:
Twatto wrote: My point exactly. We have no alternative but to be good, we cant afford not to. But with Jack on bass, and Dyl on guitar, we cant fail. Unless i really let the side down, which is possible...
who is gonna be the songwriter?
Good question. I think we are all gonna pitch in. Still need a singer too, thats the first thing.
two things have been running round my head......
- Aint it a good job it's only US and not the bible who believe Hooky to be God....can you imagine..... "and the Lord spake unto paul...."and you are Paul, who is called cuntface", and he spake unto Andy "and you Andrew will be Andy who is called Twatto""
(I mean I could get into..."blessed are the bassplayers, for they get the Big Speakers" but that would be silly...and as for the tale of how the lord got the 5000 vikings hammered on a halfbottle of Pernod and a wee bottle of Asti Spumante (the poofy ones you get on planes)...that would be just insane.)
and
- i'm trying to balance out you being called Twatto, with the guitarist not knowing to put his own arm out when it was on fire......surely either he's been christened something terrible....or you are guilty of some act of skinbasher stupidity worthy of a whole opera.
Steve Campbell wrote: two things have been running round my head......
- Aint it a good job it's only US and not the bible who believe Hooky to be God....can you imagine..... "and the Lord spake unto paul...."and you are Paul, who is called cuntface", and he spake unto Andy "and you Andrew will be Andy who is called Twatto""
(I mean I could get into..."blessed are the bassplayers, for they get the Big Speakers" but that would be silly...and as for the tale of how the lord got the 5000 vikings hammered on a halfbottle of Pernod and a wee bottle of Asti Spumante (the poofy ones you get on planes)...that would be just insane.)
and
- i'm trying to balance out you being called Twatto, with the guitarist not knowing to put his own arm out when it was on fire......surely either he's been christened something terrible....or you are guilty of some act of skinbasher stupidity worthy of a whole opera.
Ok well, the reason he called me Twatto was that at the time he didnt know my name, and he was talking to Jack about the band. I figure if a legend like him gives me something i can use as a nickname, im gonna use it.
And Dyl set his own arm on fire, as well as not knowing to put it out. He reckoned he'd only had 2 beers, but either he'd had more or he really cant hold his drink.
Twatto wrote:
pumped full of drugs wrote:
Twatto wrote: My point exactly. We have no alternative but to be good, we cant afford not to. But with Jack on bass, and Dyl on guitar, we cant fail. Unless i really let the side down, which is possible...
who is gonna be the songwriter?
Good question. I think we are all gonna pitch in. Still need a singer too, thats the first thing.
Singer/guitarist and /or keyboardist/songwriter. A 3 piece (even with a "singer," you'd still be a 3 piece) has a lot of territory to cover musically. A 4th instrument helps fill in those spaces.
That said, there's been some great 3 piece bands before.
My 2p.
Well we did have a 4 peice, we had another guitarist who was amazin, but hes decided he wants to try some blues type stuff, so that went out the window. Think we would look at getting another guitarist, i think we'll need one.
Twatto wrote: either he'd had more or he really cant hold his drink.
check him for London-ness ;)
Twatto wrote: Well we did have a 4 peice, we had another guitarist who was amazin, but hes decided he wants to try some blues type stuff, so that went out the window. Think we would look at getting another guitarist, i think we'll need one.
More unsolicited advice: Make sure that you have somebody who can write lyrics, and somebody who can write songs. Lots of great musicians out there with only one little problem...They can't write a song to save their lives. They are wizards on their chosen instrument, but they just can't write. Some musicians-- I'm not naming names *cough*Barney*cough* can't write lyrics to save their lives. If you've got some solid songwriters in your band, you're golden. I mean mint. ;)
Well we used to have some guy called Nick who could write lyrics, but not anymore. Im not bad at the ol'lyrics myself though. And iv heard some stuff Dyl made for his old band, its quality. And Jack, well his dads robbed stuff off him before, so he can obviously write stuff. So we are pretty sorted apart from in the lyrics department. Ah well, thats usually a singers job anyway...
Comrade Shampanyov wrote:
Twatto wrote: Well we did have a 4 peice, we had another guitarist who was amazin, but hes decided he wants to try some blues type stuff, so that went out the window. Think we would look at getting another guitarist, i think we'll need one.
More unsolicited advice: Make sure that you have somebody who can write lyrics, and somebody who can write songs. Lots of great musicians out there with only one little problem...They can't write a song to save their lives. They are wizards on their chosen instrument, but they just can't write. Some musicians-- I'm not naming names *cough*Barney*cough* can't write lyrics to save their lives. If you've got some solid songwriters in your band, you're golden. I mean mint. ;)
I'm sorry....did you just simultaneously imply that Barney is a guitar virtuoso and a lyrical fuckwitt?
Jeeeez man...you should see someone about that reality-inversion complex.
Nothing wrong with having more than one solid songwriter in a band, Twatto. Just keep the egos in check. With the lyrics talent you have, and a couple solid songwriters amongst you, you guys will be on the road to mintdom.
Steve Campbell wrote:
Comrade Shampanyov wrote:
Twatto wrote: Well we did have a 4 peice, we had another guitarist who was amazin, but hes decided he wants to try some blues type stuff, so that went out the window. Think we would look at getting another guitarist, i think we'll need one.
More unsolicited advice: Make sure that you have somebody who can write lyrics, and somebody who can write songs. Lots of great musicians out there with only one little problem...They can't write a song to save their lives. They are wizards on their chosen instrument, but they just can't write. Some musicians-- I'm not naming names *cough*Barney*cough* can't write lyrics to save their lives. If you've got some solid songwriters in your band, you're golden. I mean mint. ;)
I'm sorry....did you just simultaneously imply that Barney is a guitar virtuoso and a lyrical fuckwitt?
Jeeeez man...you should see someone about that reality-inversion complex.
Why...no. :D
Actually, my assessment of Barney is he's a first-rate songwriter, acceptable on guitar, and crap at lyrics.
Better for a band to have a first-rate songwriter who's acceptable on his instrument, than to have a virtuoso player who can't write songs, but thinks he can *cough*Jeffbeck*cough*.
Comrade Shampanyov wrote: With the lyrics talent you have, and a couple solid songwriters amongst you, you guys will be on the road to mintdom.
Is anyone gonna stop taking the mick out of me using the word 'Mint'? Jus cos ur all old people geeez. Should be happy me and Jack are willing to inject some youthful enthusiasm on this site. ;)
Twatto wrote:
Comrade Shampanyov wrote: With the lyrics talent you have, and a couple solid songwriters amongst you, you guys will be on the road to mintdom.
Is anyone gonna stop taking the mick out of me using the word 'Mint'? Jus cos ur all old people geeez. Should be happy me and Jack are willing to inject some youthful enthusiasm on this site. ;)
23 Skidoo!
Jack_H wrote: don't tell me nobody's ever used "mint" before
classy word
Nah, probably find that lots of us have used 'mint' at some stage - its just funny that Twatto comes along & after only about 16 posts he already had us all quoting him - THATS mint!
Thank you Jack and Twatto for bringing 'mint' into my vocabulary under an entirely different usage than I am used to. As if the fact I start 50% of all my conversations with the word "Dude" was not enough - I am furthered by your youthful, exuberant language.
check out andy with 50+ replies to his first thread...never knew he was so popular
tell you what's quality...love buzz by nirvana, just learnt the bass to it now, anyway that was a bit random so see ya
If it's Pearl Jam stuff you want Jack/Twatto, try this site out for live recordings and DVDs.
James Thomas wrote: Yeah but no but
I'd just like to highlight something on that page a minute...
"mint - cool. Self-explanatory, surely. "
I'd also like to make clear the fact that Andy and I are not chavs, or scallies or whatever. mint is the only word i use off that list
chavs and scallies
i mean, im a rocker and hes a drummer we're just cool
Hang the fuck on..... I played in many a band.....and so have others here.....
HAS ANYONE MET A COOL DRUMMER?
LOL
Jack_H wrote: I have!!
His name's Steve Morris
Aye alright mr "my uncle Steve has a tank" LOL git. ;)
Twatto wrote:
Steve Campbell wrote: HAS ANYONE MET A COOL DRUMMER?
Jack said it, i just agreed...
Good answer..... but give you some practice pads and brushes..then we'll see how cool you are ;)
When I was at college, the head of course once handed this drummer of ours a pair of brushes....mainly cos the wee prick was giving it full on Lars Ulrich over unamplified wind instruments and stuff. He took the brushes, looked the tutor right in the eye, closed them, fiddled a bit, opened them, fiddled some more, never breaking eye contact, and closed them again. He then handed them back....never to open again such was the state of the wires inside them. And the really scary thing is...he looked WELL practiced...like a sniper stripping a weapon....and you only get to do it ONCE per brush :D
Lol, quality guy. You cant ask someone like that to play with brushes though, just wouldnt work. Lars Ulrich is quality. Metallica
Metallica are class. Trying to get to see them at Download...June 10th I got my fingers crossed.
Look everyone...Jack has to log in before school now.....LOL
One of us One of us One of us
as long as metalica do more playing and less suing they're OK by me.
For future reference.....if you DO need to shut up a drummer who thinks that Lars-ing it in all situations is big and clever......do what eventually shut the brushkiller up.....stick him behind 15grand's worth of someone else's Jazz custom kit....with ickle shell sizes. Means he either plays nice, or tries to make his usual noise and gets beaten to a pulp by the kit's owner. In our case we thought we'd hired a new drummer (and he was chuffed too cos the kit was a joy to play apparently) :D
If you need any other advice on the torture/containment/extermination of drummers or guitarists, buy my book "the bass supremecist's guide to band politics" when I get round to writing it ;)
Actually, i'll have you know that i have not yet reached your level of nool addiction that i post before school.
I am off school today cos i've been ill since friday lunchtime. so im not mental yet. thank you.
:rip:
not mental IN THAT PARTICULAR RESPECT I think you mean ;)
oh aye, and get wel soon and all that j*zz
