56 replies · 833 views
I fell over the other day at work and sprained my wrist (i hadn't been looking where i was going).
Previous injuries:
Broke my leg chasing after boys in the playground (nothing new there then
)
Had stitches in my chin (not looking where i was going)
Had stitches in my forehead (girl threw a can at me - she lived to regret it)
Agonising back pain after falling top to bottom down stairs
That's it really, quite boring. Tell me yours.
I'm not very accident prone, but I've had my share.
Fell onto some stuff when I was about four years old, needed stitches under my chin. Ran into a wall the year later, split my forehead open. Things were fairly quiet until I broke my left arm while playing football (soccer) when I was ten.
About three years ago I sprained my ankle very badly during a fire drill at my university residence (stupid shoelaces), and about a year ago I broke a toe.
Of all these, the last two were most aggravating.
Missy Jem wrote: I fell over the other day at work and sprained my wrist (i hadn't been looking where i was going).
Previous injuries:
Broke my leg chasing after boys in the playground (nothing new there then
That's it really, quite boring. Tell me yours.
Lemme see..... Came out of pub one night, there was work being done to the kebab house next door and there were two milk crates being used to prop up a plank leading to a skip. My asociated ( a mr Murphy I may add LOL) took a flying kick at one, sending it a good 30 ft high and clean accross the street. Not being the sort of chap to be outdone, I took aim on the 2nd one and began my beckham-esque run in...as my foot was about 3mm from hitting it, i realised there was something odd about this crate. As my foot connected, I realised it was no a milk crate, but rather one made of thin plate steel, for the storage of co2 canisters.....it moved about 4 inches, and it was a week before I could put the foot on the ground again....I was so bad that I went downstairs the following morning and took an hour to get back up them.
I also screwd my right arm after diving onto some cushions arse-first, but my feet landed before me, and kicked all the cushions away, resulting in my fat bulk landing on said arm.
My fave injury, and a fairly rest-of-life one....was when when I mentioned to some Americans that only the very lowest forms of life drove the sort of car (a Nova Sr) our trombone player was trying to impress them about his command of. He simply placed his the bell of his instrument (the bell end of his bone if you want to make silly sid james giggles) against my ear and blew his guts out....aint never heard right in that ear since...and lemme tell you it fucking hurt.
NObabe wrote: Got bitten by a dog last Friday :(
have you and the dog both had your shots? :D
I know a girl who was down on the floor in the pub looking for her handbag or something, and a mate of mine started being all funny and playing footsie with her head...so she bit him in the knee, and it swole right up and he needed hospital and shots and stuff.
PS...Jemma...if u and I are ever out on the piss...I think we need to bring a "designated thinker" along, a responsible 3rd party who'll stop us from injuring ourselves, each other, or innocent bystanders.
Knocked out my two front teeth playing football on my road when i was about 13, think thats about it. Unless you count my knee, which has some weird sounding thing wrong with it, dosnt hurt unless i play a long game of footy or summat. Or cricket, since i land on that leg when im bowling.
Missy Jem wrote: I've had my own babysitter for years, it's my friend Sara, and i'm not kidding!
Hang on...i've talked to her....she's as mad as you are...blind leading the blind LOL
(can she handle taking care of two of us?)
Steve Campbell wrote:
NObabe wrote: Got bitten by a dog last Friday :(
have you and the dog both had your shots? :D
Cheeky 
Luckily I was wearing trousers
i've had my two top ribs removed because they were blocking the blood flow to my arms when I exercised and the vessels expanded. I have some cool scars to show for it, too.
i broke my nose when I was 11 and in a bike accident (i skidded down a hill on my face). i also have a fake tooth in the front (not noticeable, thank god!) because my tooth died a few years after the face-to-pavement thing.
i turned my ankle outside the tufnell park tube station in london and heard what sounded like a piece of cloth being ripped in two. it was the ligament separating from my right ankle--one of the most painful experiences i've ever had. i had to fly back to glasgow the next day with a huge rucksack and make it via three buses to st. andrews, which made it even worse. you could see where blood had pooled near the bottom of my foot--horrible.
my first time skiing moguls when i was taking skiing lessons as a kid in colorado. i flew off a mogul and landed on my back. i wasn't badly hurt...until a woman came down the run, lost control and hit my leg with the point of her ski. that was not pleasant.
when i was about 10 my cat was having a growling match with the neighbours' cat. i decided to break it up by picking up the other cat, who bit me in the face, missing my eye by a few millimeters. my face swelled up and the cat, who wasn't up on its rabies shots, had to be quarantined. it turned out ok, though. the owners brought me over some cookies and the cat was fine. as it was really my fault for picking the cat up when it was angry, nothing happened to it and we all lived happily ever after.
Missy Jem wrote: Are you a cat Christy?
i dunno about that, but I'm not sitting beside the bugger on a plane :D
The worst ones - 2 broken ribs whilst 7 months pregnant; a lovely bloody gorey gash over one eye; fractured skull; fractured collar bone; then it goes downhill really to cuts and burns......... not all at the same time obviously.
BEFORE ANYONE DARE TO EVEN THINK IT OR WORSE, SAY IT - NO I HAD NOT BEEN DRINKING ON ANY OF THE ABOVE OCCASIONS OK?
:
Ha, i had! When i fell down the stairs last summer. My Doctor said it was a good job i had been drinking or i would have been badly injured or dead! My relaxed state meant i did a stunt roll. To be fair i had a drink in one hand, my handbag in another and was wearing killer heels (literally). It bloody hurt though.
Teaching the rudiments of fencing to someone, I almost lost an eye with a foil. It slipped on my glasses and hurted me just between the eyelid and the eyebrow. Nice little scar mostly hidden by the glasses by now.
An almost broken tibia and a hugly scar thanks to stupid drills in the alpine troops.
A broken arm thanks to four "what can I do to enlighten my life" who wanted to bash the first person they met. Happy to have been first in a while in my life.
Missy Jem wrote: Ha, i had! When i fell down the stairs last summer. My Doctor said it was a good job i had been drinking or i would have been badly injured or dead! My relaxed state meant i did a stunt roll. To be fair i had a drink in one hand, my handbag in another and was wearing killer heels (literally). It bloody hurt though.
LOL...I was gonna say more or less the same thing....if yer gonna get yerself fucked up...do it pissed, you roll with it better.
Remember reading a story in a P J o'rourke book (the chapter was I believe.."how to drive fast on drugs whilst having your wingwang squeezed and not spill your drink") about a guy who got really hammered, went out in his car, lost it half way over a bridge, got sideswiped by a bus and fell 500 ft into a river...it killed him and everything but he made a great corspe :D
The moral of the story is if you're gonna do anything really fucking stupidly dangerous...get shitfaced first (who said "james hunt"?)
So when you hear "ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking, we're going to be arriving on the ground soon, vertically downwards at around 700mph!"[1] forget all the bombo wavey arm crap they gave you at the start, that's just a placatory measure to stop you realising no one lives through a decent plane crash,....just hit the bar and get yourself outside as much of it as possible as quickly as possible. Course if it doesn't work, your last words will be "I fuckin loves you ya know that" to the back of seat 34F, but everyone who heard you will be a greasy spot anyway so who cares.
[1]how'dya know you're flying RyanAir? If a window blows out at 10KM a bag drops down with a slot sayinf "please insert 4euros for oxygen"
Breakdancing injury - attempted moonwalk + jump to the ground head first to be caught by hands resulting in a shattered bone on left foot and a dent in my kneecap. I was with my mom on a nature trail, she believed nothing to be wrong with the foot and we had another 2 miles to walk before we were home again. Swollen beyond belief. Blood everywhere. Had the pleasure of saying she was a bad mother for 3 years before....
Got angry, kicked a wall. Foot met and handshook with the wall stud. Cracked the second toe on my right foot, left a wonderful bone protruding out. Went to the hospital and had the entire staff howling at me in laughter because of stupid reaction. Then someone remembered me from the breakdancing incident. More laughter. Cue doctor choosing that moment of embarassment to realign the bones by snapping back into place.
At a party when I was 19. I was magically sober and babysitting the 30 odd other punks who were really into demolition. Wound up being pushed progressively closer and closer to a low yet full glass window. Someone had the brilliant idea to bumrush the window. I tried stopping them, and we both fell through. Magically, I got away with a ton of scratches, and the other guy had to get a piece the size of his hand excised from his right leg.
There's other stuff, but they lack great stories ot go with.
To change tack slightly..... I had the front left (the fact it was the front is important owing to the presence of the engine block) wheel of a VW estate go right up over my foot, with no injury and precious little pain
The Girls of NOOL - a rough and tumble bunch of lasses - good for a drink, a hug and possibly even 
.
no real injuries to reports, for some reason. i guess i learned to fall well at a early age. i had a broken wrist, a couple of black eyes from fights.
i do have a nice big operation scar on my lower chest. 30 stitches.
Just a couple to report:
The girls stories are best!!
