Ask Steve

Since it's been as exciting as a wake around here these last few days now that no one's allowed to be too friendly any more.

I thought I'd offer my services as resident smart-arse. I've wasted my life collecting shiploads of pointless knowledge, that I'm always willing to share.

Ask a serious question, I will attempt a serious answer. Ask a silly question I will attempt a silly answer. Ask a rude question I'll chuck the toys, spit the dummy and wont come out to play any more.

(PS, I offer no promise of any kind that serious answers will not be forthcoming to silly questions and vice versa).

Obviously anything I CANNOT answer will have to go in MICK's inbox :D

well i too know a little about just about everything, in some subjects and in others, probably too much.

cambo what exactly are your fields of expertise?

we know your are knowledgeable about computers and formula one, but give us some guidance so we can ask you some specific questions.

Gadgetry, music and popular science, but I know a teeny bit about most things.

Cambo, I've heard rumours that the Assembly is to be reinstated, with Chuck Norris and Mr. T in it. Would this work?

how does the tardis work? and why can the doctor never quite fix it?

is 19.30 too early to start enjoying a few glasses of re?

Christopher Owens wrote: Cambo, I've heard rumours that the Assembly is to be reinstated, with Chuck Norris and Mr. T in it. Would this work?

Yes, i believe that would represent a genuine way forward to the people of NI....Mr paisley would stand up to utter some shite or other and be bitch slapped down with the phrase "shaddup foo" and Gerry wouldn't even get to finish "but sein fein ISN'T the IRA" before receiving a much needed roundhouse kick to the head.

Ronald Kirsch wrote: how does the tardis work? and why can the doctor never quite fix it?

The how it works would be beyond your ape descended intellect, but a for why it DOESN'T work.

The Type 40 had been obselete for an age when the Dr found his in the breaker's yard, a former science vessel (had it been a personal capsule it would have gone off to the tardis graveyard at the end of time when it's owner died). The type 40 is also designed to operated by SIX timelords, hence the hexagonal console.

Ronald Kirsch wrote: is 19.30 too early to start enjoying a few glasses of re?

no as long as you intend to get drunk.

This "few glasses each and every day" is an alco trait....whereas getting shitefaced a coupla times a week is healthy.

Steve Campbell wrote:

Ronald Kirsch wrote: how does the tardis work? and why can the doctor never quite fix it?

The how it works would be beyond your ape descended intellect, but a for why it DOESN'T work.

The Type 40 had been obselete for an age when the Dr found his in the breaker's yard, a former science vessel (had it been a personal capsule it would have gone off to the tardis graveyard at the end of time when it's owner died). The type 40 is also designed to operated by SIX timelords, hence the hexagonal console.

this sounds a lot like divine mystery. ie only time lords know how it works. :D

Not at all, it's just a long and geeky explanation ;)

mind you, if you doubt in the validity of divine mystery, ask a MS employee how windows works.

Steve Campbell wrote: Not at all, it's just a long and geeky explanation ;)

mind you, if you doubt in the validity of divine mystery, ask a MS employee how windows works.

go on try long and geeky on me.

it's all to do with a collapsed star and made up sorts of energy, and that's all you're getting :D (your race is not ready for this knowledge)

Are NO gonna play Athens in June?

Steve Campbell wrote: it's all to do with a collapsed star and made up sorts of energy, and that's all you're getting :D (your race is not ready for this knowledge)

just in case i come across one of these collapsed stars tomorrow, and decide to utilise it by building a time machine, right. :D

I am afraid that falls beyond the scope of this article, but thank you for your interest in this thread madam.

What is an oryx and can you suggest a use for one...

Snorri xxx

Steve Campbell wrote:

mind you, if you doubt in the validity of divine mystery, ask a MS employee how windows works.

You're talking Windows Vista I take it? Ask them why its so f'ing late more like it!

Second opinions are worth seeking so how about a panel effort Mr C?!

Snorrimon wrote: What is an oryx and can you suggest a use for one...

Snorri xxx

It is a type of deer or antelope and it's greatest use would be as a mobile larder for big cats.

Steve Lea wrote:

Steve Campbell wrote:

mind you, if you doubt in the validity of divine mystery, ask a MS employee how windows works.

You're talking Windows Vista I take it? Ask them why its so f'ing late more like it!

Second opinions are worth seeking so how about a panel effort Mr C?!

Be my guest Mr L.

Vista's install media=2GB+ LOL

Actually I've fookin got a question for you Campbell

Why after installing 'Grand Prix Legends' is my laptop completely fucked

Luckily I have another admin account on it so I can try and repair without a re-install.

Ah well, at least I like a challenge

Steve Campbell wrote:

Snorrimon wrote: What is an oryx and can you suggest a use for one...

Snorri xxx

It is a type of deer or antelope and it's greatest use would be as a mobile larder for big cats.

Oryx are generally found in semi desert environments like the Kalahari down here, so they wouldnt run into lions too often. They have the longest straightest horns you ever did see though and are completely f'ing lethal in a fight!

No idea, it's a very passive and friendly app in general.

Wont run on XP on a fast cpu unpatched but it really shouldn't even touch your system files.

It only installs 2 system files if memory serves, papycpu.sys and papyjoy.sys, neither is required and can be removed and deregistered if you really need to.

http://www.simracers.co.uk/gpl/ultimategpllinks/gpl_ultimatelinks.htm

EDIT Hmmmmm half the links there are down...FFS, still it tells ye what ya need :D

probably a coincendence

why is it sometimes my cupeths decideths to runneth over?? my tops won't fit half of the month

also, why is it that everytime i get measured for proper cupeths that they are always not swollen?

ChrissMari wrote: why is it sometimes my cupeths decideths to runneth over?? my tops won't fit half of the month

also, why is it that everytime i get measured for proper cupeths that they are always not swollen?

1. That would be down to your natural rhythms dear girl.
2. as to why u never get measured at the right time, well maybe that's cos at the right time you don;t feel like shopping?

Steve Campbell wrote:

ChrissMari wrote: why is it sometimes my cupeths decideths to runneth over?? my tops won't fit half of the month

also, why is it that everytime i get measured for proper cupeths that they are always not swollen?

1. That would be down to your natural rhythms dear girl.
2. as to why u never get measured at the right time, well maybe that's cos at the right time you don;t feel like shopping?

How do you make yorkshire puddings?

Bonzette wrote:

Steve Campbell wrote:

ChrissMari wrote: why is it sometimes my cupeths decideths to runneth over?? my tops won't fit half of the month

also, why is it that everytime i get measured for proper cupeths that they are always not swollen?

1. That would be down to your natural rhythms dear girl.
2. as to why u never get measured at the right time, well maybe that's cos at the right time you don;t feel like shopping?

How do you make yorkshire puddings?

Is this another veiled breast reference, this time, one too far over my head?

If not, you drop some pancake batter (ish) into some bun trays with pre-super-heated oil in em, and fuck it all back in the oven. Next!

Hey now, what you doing?

Snorri xxx

Snorrimon wrote: Hey now, what you doing?

Snorri xxx

Preparing to depart for tesco (OK, I'm preparing by watching "the tomorrowpeople" and posting unmitigated shite on here, but it passes for preparation for me)

Who's Joe?

Steve Campbell wrote:

Bonzette wrote:

Steve Campbell wrote:

ChrissMari wrote: why is it sometimes my cupeths decideths to runneth over?? my tops won't fit half of the month

also, why is it that everytime i get measured for proper cupeths that they are always not swollen?

1. That would be down to your natural rhythms dear girl.
2. as to why u never get measured at the right time, well maybe that's cos at the right time you don;t feel like shopping?

How do you make yorkshire puddings?

Is this another veiled breast reference, this time, one too far over my head?

If not, you drop some pancake batter (ish) into some bun trays with pre-super-heated oil in em, and fuck it all back in the oven. Next!

Of course i wanted to know!:)

Cruella wrote: Who's Joe?

Jesus' dad to his mates.

Bonzette wrote:

Of course i wanted to know!:)

Got cooking to do soon Bonz?

ULP!

The secret is to make everything so hot it could flash into napalm at any second, and also to beat shitloads of air into your batter. The only other tip I can give you would be for you to move to Ottley or somewhere, live there for 40 years and have kids, that should gift you pud making abilities.

How can someone like you work that slow?

Steve,

Will I truely get what I deserve, as everyone else keeps telling me they hope for???

JHC

Cruella wrote: How can someone like you work that slow?

I'm a lazy cunt :D

68 Pontiac wrote: Steve,

Will I truely get what I deserve, as everyone else keeps telling me they hope for???

JHC

Yes, I believe you will, the only question is what DO you deserve.

How does it feel?

Snorri xxx

Steve Campbell wrote:

Bonzette wrote:

Of course i wanted to know!:)

Got cooking to do soon Bonz?

ULP!

The secret is to make everything so hot it could flash into napalm at any second, and also to beat shitloads of air into your batter. The only other tip I can give you would be for you to move to Ottley or somewhere, live there for 40 years and have kids, that should gift you pud making abilities.

Is that the best you can do?! Ceramic pots, 2 teaspoons of lard/sunflower oil in each, heated to 230C, got to be at that temp for a good 15 mins. Yer usual pancake batter proportions but add some salt, pepper and a big pinch of nutmeg. Whisk the crap out of it but then leave covered with a damp cloth in a cool place for 30 mins before you cook it. Fill each cup 2/3rds full, not to the top, and dont keep opening the oven saying 'wtf, why arent they rising?' Cook for 30 mins at 210C. Next...

Steve, do women find confidence (along with a healthy sense of humor) sexy? I ask because the past week has been a good one for yours truly, I don't know where it came from but I've suddenly decided that maybe I am a "great guy", as many of my friends have said when they get tired of hearing me whine about my non-existent love-life

I'm talking "confidence" ("I'm not half-bad, really!") as opposed to arrogance (Blue Order aka Comrade Shampanyov "I am God's gift to women!") :p

Steve Campbell wrote:

Bonzette wrote:

Of course i wanted to know!:)

Got cooking to do soon Bonz?

ULP!

The secret is to make everything so hot it could flash into napalm at any second, and also to beat shitloads of air into your batter. The only other tip I can give you would be for you to move to Ottley or somewhere, live there for 40 years and have kids, that should gift you pud making abilities.

Only for myself and little man. Let's get that quite clear!

Steve Campbell wrote: Since it's been as exciting as a wake around here these last few days now that no one's allowed to be too friendly any more.

I can't help but notice that since the posters who were the subject of the complaint have facked off, the complaint squad is STILL nowhere to be seen.

ARSES.

is ROCKET MICK from PLANET ROCKET and why does he have a DUSTER fetish.Will it all blow over?And why has DIGGY MIKE posted so many POSTS? Regards Son of Rocket Pebbles of CHORLEY:p

Will you wish me HAPPINESS on SATURDAY?And has SHUGZV bought me a PRESENT?:D

And i have JUST noticed it is EASIER ASKING than GIVING THE ANSWERS!

Who framed Roger Rabbit?

Comrade Shampanyov, Gentleman wrote:

Steve Campbell wrote: Since it's been as exciting as a wake around here these last few days now that no one's allowed to be too friendly any more.

I can't help but notice that since the posters who were the subject of the complaint have facked off, the complaint squad is STILL nowhere to be seen.

ARSES.

oh but haven't you noticed the forum has been so BUSY with rivetting posts about New Order on a second by second basis from those who felt crowded out by the evil newcomers.

what a load of cunt puss.

State of Love and Trust wrote: Who framed Roger Rabbit?

no one, the furrt fucker did it, that mopvie is just hollywood re-writing history to suits itself yet again.

Rocket Mick wrote: is ROCKET MICK from PLANET ROCKET and why does he have a DUSTER fetish.Will it all blow over?And why has DIGGY MIKE posted so many POSTS? Regards Son of Rocket Pebbles of CHORLEY:p

in order 1 yes 2 because of a bizarre cleaning accident as a yoof. 3 probably not 4 he's insane.

and yes I will wish you well, and shugv may jabe bought you a present as long as you aren't expecting a round of drinks.

State of Love and Trust wrote: Who framed Roger Rabbit?

How come jack managed to be on NOOL but not MSN?

Twatto wrote:

State of Love and Trust wrote: Who framed Roger Rabbit?

How come jack managed to be on NOOL but not MSN?

Because he was trying to avoid you?

Snorri xxx

Steve Lea wrote:

Steve Campbell wrote:

Bonzette wrote: Of course i wanted to know!:)

Got cooking to do soon Bonz? The secret is to make everything so hot it could flash into napalm at any second, and also to beat shitloads of air into your batter. ties.

Is that the best you can do?! Ceramic pots, 2 teaspoons of lard/sunflower oil in each, heated to

230C, got to be at that temp for a good 15 mins. 'wtf, why arent they rising?' Cook for 30 mins at 210C. Next...

230 C , 210 C ! nutmeg is good. Q- if not cooking with a roast, or anytother such, above hows to get the pan drippings below. is true that instead of savoury may be eaten with a good jam.

second question, pls. what is moonlight. why are some colours difficult to see in it.

Steve Campbell wrote:

Cruella wrote: How can someone like you work that slow?

I'm a lazy cunt :D

how's that- - you're not a lady.

What's the largest quantity of resin you've eaten? And how long was the high

Steve, did the guy who gave my new Schecter 4-string a complimentary tuning at his studio make it a little too slap-tastic?

14 -K wrote: [ 230 C , 210 C ! nutmeg is good. Q- if not cooking with a roast, or anytother such, above hows to get the pan drippings below. is true that instead of savoury may be eaten with a good jam.

second question, pls. what is moonlight. why are some colours difficult to see in it.

230 to crisp the outside at first, 210 to cook the inside without burning the outside! In days of old it used to be cooked in a pan underneath the meat rack so as to collect the juices and add flavour. Also used to be served as the starter so by the time the meat arrived as the main course, people weren't so hungry anymore and the meat would go further. Its just a pancake or crepe mixture so sweet or savoury, whatever tickles your tastebuds

Isn't moonlight just too low intensity and not the full spectrum - not enough candelas and reflectance to be able to distinguish colours?

Ghost Rider- schplastic or no- that's awesome- wait for a more expert answ. from a Steve tho.

S. Lea- just noticed that the panel is a Steven list - perhaps a Morris will show up too- to imagine ..mm certainLy the 200 C is needed as in baking a cheescake- and to cooL in the oven so as not to crack its surface if cooled too quickly. just so hot.

the colours of the visible spectrum are pretty things. as moonlight is similiar- in sense- to colours visible when diving- red- violet. higher frequency- longer wavelengths. blues and greys fade. Q- the tasty BlueJay South African Oranges in the shops here- are you able to buy them too - or are they all exported.

When will Steve C answer the last few questions?

Snorri xxx

yes let cambo provide the answers here.

nooligan wrote: yes let cambo provide the answers here.

I think he needed to be more specific in the title of the thread... Now we've just ended up with a Steve-free-for-all... Perhaps Cambo could check to ensure all non-offical answers are correct, or there'll be chaos...

Snorri xxx

Snorrimon wrote:

nooligan wrote: yes let cambo provide the answers here.

non-offical answers are correct, or there'll be chaos...Snorrixxx

any answer is a good answer- Q- isn't that how to learn new things..and how to make decisions as to . edit-- but not hi- Jack as the thread is a hi Steve- nice to see things around..

14 -K wrote:

Snorrimon wrote:

nooligan wrote: yes let cambo provide the answers here.

non-offical answers are correct, or there'll be chaos...Snorrixxx

any answer is a good answer- Q- isn't that how to learn new things..and how to make decisions as to .

This of course could be true, but we will have to wait for Cambo to answer the question first...

Snorri xxx

Bonzette wrote:

Steve Campbell wrote:

Bonzette wrote:

Of course i wanted to know!:)

Got cooking to do soon Bonz?

ULP!

The secret is to make everything so hot it could flash into napalm at any second, and also to beat shitloads of air into your batter. The only other tip I can give you would be for you to move to Ottley or somewhere, live there for 40 years and have kids, that should gift you pud making abilities.

I DO wish Mr C would leave the cookery lessons alone......he's only got PART of it right! Yorkies need very special TLC...............and the right flour.......and fat.

Only for myself and little man. Let's get that quite clear!

Okay Campo.

What would the world be like if Bill Gates had not been born?

Snorrimon wrote:

nooligan wrote: yes let cambo provide the answers here.

I think he needed to be more specific in the title of the thread... Now we've just ended up with a Steve-free-for-all... Perhaps Cambo could check to ensure all non-offical answers are correct, or there'll be chaos...

Snorri xxx

14K - e-mail me, lest we offend the sensibilities of the learned gentleman in Australia, oh, and the West Ham fan.

Steve Lea wrote:

Snorrimon wrote:

nooligan wrote: yes let cambo provide the answers here.

I think he needed to be more specific in the title of the thread... Now we've just ended up with a Steve-free-for-all... Perhaps Cambo could check to ensure all non-offical answers are correct, or there'll be chaos...

Snorri xxx

14K - e-mail me, lest we offend the sensibilities of the learned gentleman in Australia, oh, and the West Ham fan.

who is this learned gentleman? should i feel honored or insulted? its not a big issue, its just the way these threads work. cambo is to provide the initial answers. free for all after that.

nooligan wrote:

who is this learned gentleman? should i feel honored or insulted? its not a big issue, its just the way these threads work. cambo is to provide the initial answers. free for all after that.

Its just the way these threads work? Who made you moderator? Read the first page again... You'll have to wait till the oracle gets out of bed then.

Steve Lea wrote:

nooligan wrote:

who is this learned gentleman? should i feel honored or insulted? its not a big issue, its just the way these threads work. cambo is to provide the initial answers. free for all after that.

Its just the way these threads work? Who made you moderator? Read the first page again... You'll have to wait till the oracle gets out of bed then.

just be happy i'm not a moderator. :D i know i am.

I have received several emails from disgruntled Noolers, who are disgusted that you have sought to make Rocket Mick redundant.

I must point out that Rocket Mick is and always will be the CHORLEY ORACLE.