Exotic diseases/spectacular accidents you have had?

I dunno if I imagined (dreamed?) it but I could have sworn I saw Agent Wood mention in a post she'd had cholera. I'm impressed, the best I've managed is concussion and amoebic dysentry (not at the same time). As exotic places visited as been done, what about exotic diseases you have had, also spectuacular accidents (bonus points if caused by equally spectacular stupidity).

Clearly this could become a bit of downer if someone turns out to actually be _dying_ of something, or has something that is ruining their life, but hopefully it'll be 'unusual diseases now safely recovered from'. Though in the context of this thread a terminal disease would probably constitute 'winning' - unless someone has managed to contract Dutch Elm disease or break every bone in their body while trying to leap the Grand Canyon on rollerskates.

For me: the concussion was a result of attending primary school back in the days before children were mollycoddled and wrapped up cotton wool, and when school buildings were not designed with namby-pamby concern for bleeding-heart liberal concepts like health and saftey. Back when schools, quite rightly, operated on Darwinian principles - one of which being any kid who didn't look where he was going while running deserved to trip over a 6 inch high wall with a 6 foot drop onto concrete on the other side. Clearly any child with a skull insuffiently thick to survive such an impact would never fit in at an inner city comprehensive anyway, and should probably be removed from the gene pool early.

Also it was in pre-litigious days when teachers didn't call an ambulance merely because a child claimed to be seing bright flashing lights, and when the complaint of not being able to 'see straight' produced the entirely reasonable teacherly response of 'can you see round corners then?'. I did manage to get sent home from school early though, when I resorted to the cunning poly of vomitting uncontrollably all over the classroom. Shamefully my parents were made of weaker stuff than the school authorities and so I ended up wasting days under observation in hospital.

Dysentry was just the usual result of an Englishman going to India. Forget Atkins, the D-plan diet is what you want - 4 stone loss in 3 months. It was like water from a fire extinguisher.

ok i almost died of a streptococcus a infection some 15 years. ago. i did post a photo about a month ago. i was not expected to make it.

then there was the time i got run over by a car. i just picked myself up and caught the bus home, or the time i got swept out to sea by a rip current. i can not die. i a immortal.

I twisted a bollock ( )playing five a side footy while I was living in Austria... Have a serious operation in a foreign country is slightly disconcerting... Fantastic health care, though...

SHEDi xxx

Well I'm getting over this bout ( tho apparently it's all but incurable in any final way), but I have this wonderous thing called hidrodenitis suppuritiva. Short (and U-rated) version. My pheremone producing glands in my arm pits and groin are alergic to themselves and produce goo instead of sweat....result is occassionally like having an ostrich egg inserted under your skin in the sorts of places you really need a full range of movement. It's sore, it's annoying, it's smelly, and worst of all...it's VARIABLE...great habbit that, as a result, I now have a GP, a dermatology consultant and my company's doctor all saying I must stay off work, and the DSS's doctor saying there is nothing whatsoever wrong with me[1]. My income is now zero, and the rent's due in 2 weeks LOL

My only real option is to return to work and stop seeing my doctor. (doc tends to kick you off if you ignore them anyway)

Anyway, I've been yelled at for answering direct questions on this subject here before, so I wont go into any further detail on sepc.

[1] broadly, she says things like...."can you walk up stairs", to which I reply, "yes, but sometimes it is so painful i end up in tears", she writes "no problem with stairs". Bear that in mind if ever yer off sick ppl. Much better to make up back pain and get £400 a week DLA instead of trying to be nice and honest.

Thing about many of the tropical nasties is that they all have symptoms just like flu so you have the agonising wait for test results for cholera, typhoid, malaria, Lyme's, dengue, yellow fever or even the dreaded Ebola. Usually you're dead before your tests come back for Ebola it should be said...! Dont get bitten by a mozzie and you exclude most on that list. Remember a notice in the bathroom in Bombay (as it was then) telling you not to even brush your teeth with the tap water! And to be careful about what bottled water you drank as some of it was just tap water, despite the label.

Once upon a time I was in Morocco and stayed overnight in a one camel town near Fez in the most uncomfortable bed you could imagine. Not that I slept, but I woke up the next morning with my back out and virtually unable to walk because of it. Undaunted, we had a visit to a lead mine in the Atlas mountains that day and, because I couldnt walk properly, I lost my footing and promptly fell down one of the small shafts into the mine and gave my knee a horrendous smack. Getting up, I then fell over because I couldnt put weight on my one leg and smacked my nose...I could go on! :rip:

Thats ten years ago and I still have a sore f'ing knee!

404 error wrote: I dunno if I imagined (dreamed?) it but I could have sworn I saw Agent Wood mention in a post she'd had cholera.

yep. and it was the worst strain possible--the kind that can kill you within 24 hours. fortunately they caught it soon enough, as the doctor said i would have been dead by the next morning.

another: i've had two ribs removed because of a condition called thoracic outlet syndrome, where my nerves became crushed by my first ribs when i exercised. i wanted to keep the ribs but pathology threw them away. shucks.

not really 'accidents,' but i have jumped from a moving train before and been involved in a train robbery (two different incidents). also had katyusha rockets fired at the road i was on; the usual.

the rest of my illnesses are pretty common.

I once met SHUG

AgentWood wrote:

404 error wrote: I dunno if I imagined (dreamed?) it but I could have sworn I saw Agent Wood mention in a post she'd had cholera.

yep. and it was the worst strain possible--the kind that can kill you within 24 hours. fortunately they caught it soon enough, as the doctor said i would have been dead by the next morning.

another: i've had two ribs removed because of a condition called thoracic outlet syndrome, where my nerves became crushed by my first ribs when i exercised. i wanted to keep the ribs but pathology threw them away. shucks.

not really 'accidents,' but i have jumped from a moving train before and been involved in a train robbery (two different incidents). also had katyusha rockets fired at the road i was on; the usual.

the rest of my illnesses are pretty common.

Rocket's FIRING at you.in your DREAMS!

SHEDimon wrote: I twisted a bollock

ouch, I think a mate of a mate did that. They swell up big dont they

i got a splinter in my arse whilst wriggling about on a parquet floor in infants school, which the school nurse forced further into my flesh whilst attempting to retrieve it. i had 4 stitches when they finally fished it out at a&e (and a nice sticker saying how brave i was).

nye 1993-4 i slipped on some gravy and headbutted the cooker in my dads shop, after which i needed a few stitches to hold the end of my nose on. still went out to 'angels' and got record number of ny snogs. (slapper)

no tropical diseases tho

Barney Army wrote:

SHEDimon wrote: I twisted a bollock

ouch, I think a mate of a mate did that. They swell up big dont they

My hubby"s went big and black for a week after his vasectomy

SHED wrote: I once met SHUG

yeah, that was pretty bad, too. i was on antibiotics for months after that encounter.

I was exposed to TB, and as a result will always test positive for it. I also had to take the medicines to "cure it" to the satisfaction of my primary school's disease regulations, as well.

Had croup when I was 7, would have been dead were it not for the quick action of the parents and the ER dudes.

Had my gallbladder explode (literally) in my gut at 22 and was also saved in the knick of time.

I was born an angelbreech baby, meaning I was wrong way out when it came time to pop out, so they had a lot of fun trying to get my skinny butt into the cold world without bruising me up with forceps. Stayed on an incubator for the first 3 months of life. At least it was warm.

There's a load of stupid massive accidents, but it's late and this is about what my brain wants to remember currently.

Steve Campbell wrote: Well I'm getting over this bout ( tho apparently it's all but incurable in any final way), but I have this wonderous thing called hidrodenitis suppuritiva. Short (and U-rated) version. My pheremone producing glands in my arm pits and groin are alergic to themselves and produce goo instead of sweat....result is occassionally like having an ostrich egg inserted under your skin in the sorts of places you really need a full range of movement. It's sore, it's annoying, it's smelly, and worst of all...it's VARIABLE...great habbit that, as a result, I now have a GP, a dermatology consultant and my company's doctor all saying I must stay off work, and the DSS's doctor saying there is nothing whatsoever wrong with me[1]. My income is now zero, and the rent's due in 2 weeks LOL

My only real option is to return to work and stop seeing my doctor. (doc tends to kick you off if you ignore them anyway)

Anyway, I've been yelled at for answering direct questions on this subject here before, so I wont go into any further detail on sepc.

[1] broadly, she says things like...."can you walk up stairs", to which I reply, "yes, but sometimes it is so painful i end up in tears", she writes "no problem with stairs". Bear that in mind if ever yer off sick ppl. Much better to make up back pain and get £400 a week DLA instead of trying to be nice and honest.

That wins a prize for being an ailment I'd never before heard of. I guess I can add it to the list of things to worry that I might get.

You have my utmost sympathies with the DSS thing - I've seen those forms, they ask things like 'can you hold a 1lb weight for a minute' and if you say yes they decide you are 100% fit for work - like, the job centres are over-flowing with jobs for short term 1 lb weight holders. Or can you stagger 100 yards down the road if you really really try? - if so you are clearly fit for working a 40 hour week of heavy manual labour.

Its bad luck to be ill at a time when the sick lists are full of hidden unemployed that the govts suddenly gotten embarrassed about and decided to crack down on.

Steve Lea wrote: Thing about many of the tropical nasties is that they all have symptoms just like flu so you have the agonising wait for test results for cholera, typhoid, malaria, Lyme's, dengue, yellow fever or even the dreaded Ebola. Usually you're dead before your tests come back for Ebola it should be said...! Dont get bitten by a mozzie and you exclude most on that list. Remember a notice in the bathroom in Bombay (as it was then) telling you not to even brush your teeth with the tap water! And to be careful about what bottled water you drank as some of it was just tap water, despite the label.

Once upon a time I was in Morocco and stayed overnight in a one camel town near Fez in the most uncomfortable bed you could imagine. Not that I slept, but I woke up the next morning with my back out and virtually unable to walk because of it. Undaunted, we had a visit to a lead mine in the Atlas mountains that day and, because I couldnt walk properly, I lost my footing and promptly fell down one of the small shafts into the mine and gave my knee a horrendous smack. Getting up, I then fell over because I couldnt put weight on my one leg and smacked my nose...I could go on! :rip:

Thats ten years ago and I still have a sore f'ing knee!

As I understand it, all the bottled water in India is basically just bottled Bombay (Mumbai, now) tap water. That being the best tap water in the country. I think my mistake was getting desperate with thirst and sipping a glass of water served in a railway refreshment room. The worst part was ending up collapsing of dehydration in the desert and having the indignity of being rescued by three of the most annoying public school boys I've ever encountered. They spent the entire time bickering over who was the best qualified to rescue me ('oh, so you were in the TA? Well _I've_ done an arctic survival course, I think thats rather more relevant'). Do you still travel? I've vowed now never to go to countries where you can't drink the water.

melly wrote: I was exposed to TB, and as a result will always test positive for it. I also had to take the medicines to "cure it" to the satisfaction of my primary school's disease regulations, as well.

Had croup when I was 7, would have been dead were it not for the quick action of the parents and the ER dudes.

Had my gallbladder explode (literally) in my gut at 22 and was also saved in the knick of time.

I was born an angelbreech baby, meaning I was wrong way out when it came time to pop out, so they had a lot of fun trying to get my skinny butt into the cold world without bruising me up with forceps. Stayed on an incubator for the first 3 months of life. At least it was warm.

There's a load of stupid massive accidents, but it's late and this is about what my brain wants to remember currently.

i was breech birth, and for the first 6 months of life, i had have an ankle brace on my right leg.

AgentWood wrote:

also had katyusha rockets fired at the road i was on;

so it was a _really_ rough part of NYC you lived in?

404 error wrote:

AgentWood wrote:

also had katyusha rockets fired at the road i was on;

so it was a _really_ rough part of NYC you lived in?

I had assumed that was in Israel. well maybe it was bensonhurst same diff

404 error wrote:

That wins a prize for being an ailment I'd never before heard of. I guess I can add it to the list of things to worry that I might get.

You have my utmost sympathies with the DSS thing - I've seen those forms, they ask things like 'can you hold a 1lb weight for a minute' and if you say yes they decide you are 100% fit for work - like, the job centres are over-flowing with jobs for short term 1 lb weight holders. Or can you stagger 100 yards down the road if you really really try? - if so you are clearly fit for working a 40 hour week of heavy manual labour.

Its bad luck to be ill at a time when the sick lists are full of hidden unemployed that the govts suddenly gotten embarrassed about and decided to crack down on.

I have a plan....

Since my employer will not take me back without a medical opnion to support that I am once again OK (with restricted mobility I am of course, an insurance risk, it's not that they give a monkey's). I intend showing them the letter from the DSS saying I am fine. They will let me return to work than. Now I AM much better, but it's not gone yet, a coupla days "normal life" last week left me pretty sore..so within a week or two of walking to work and sitting on a sweaty chair, I should be in a right old state again...whereupon I will start yelling at everyone around me again (sitting in a pool of your own juices, on big swollen sores, tends to shorten one's temper) . Should bring things to a head nicely...tho obviously the really best way to prove a point would be to miss my footing on the iron staircase I have to clime to my office...blood, gore and broken bones (not to mention a quick phonecall to ambulance-chaser.com) and a letter from a DSS doc saying I'm a faker should make for an interesting game.

Without getting into things too much, what's REALLY pissing me off is that it is nearly gone, and if it kicks off again now, the last 2 years of being skint and in agony will have been a total waste and I'll have it all to go through again in a couple of months.

And you are SO right about the sick lists.....dump a million "jobseeekers" (remember there are no unemployed people in Airstrip One, sorry I mean Britain, just jobseekers) on the sick, then randomly get rid of a million people off the list later. My boss's parents...both work, have 2 expensive cars and a big house in a plush part of town....all paid for by Disability benefits, and I can't get left alone on 60 quid a week.

Do I feel hard done by? yup, but not as hard done by as some others will feel when I'm finished.

I've dropped a bollock a few times!

I once had the embarrassing position of doing a Something About Mary with the old zipper one time when I was about 10.Dad took me to hospital and WHEELED me through in a wheelchair! Then I had to undergo the indignation of lying on a bed with me knob out...with a zip on the end! Nurses were very amused though. The doctor turns up with this..erm.."tin opener" which he proceeded to cut the zipper in half.Talk about BLUE BOLS!

A few good stories come to mind, but I'll do one.

The injury is a bit "normal" but the after affects are a good story.

Was playing touch football with my Marines. In normal fashion, I egged on a rougher version. Got thrown the ball, and was tackled low, so I flipped landing on my head. Played for about another hour, but what I didn't realize is that I had a concussion that took away my memory for anything a few minutes after it happened. Since football moves fast, I didn't notice it. We run back to the unit, get dismissed, and I realize I don't know where I parked my car. Wisper to my buddy and he points it out, which could be seen out the glass doors. Start to step away, before I realize I don't know where I live. My buddy freaks out so he drives me home, the whole way I feel like I'm driving in a new town. Reach my front door, and my 6-month-pregnant wife answers the door. I exclaim,"when the hell did that happen??? Who got you prgnant???" They sit me on my couch, and my 5 year old son comes down the stairs to welcome me home. I look at him and yell, " WHO THE HELL ARE YOU????!!!" He answers, "I'm your son" as he runs away crying into his bedroom. Was wisked off to the emergency room, where my memory eventually came back to me. My son, however was scarred from that for a few months.
Well hopefully that was worth a read.

JHC

Deary me, it's not enough the poor buggers gota deal with the potential of you being sent scary places...they have to cope with you being a dufus too :D

I have always had iffy balance which is not really trouble now since I know how to deal with it..

I had concussions as a child..

on Christmas eve when I was like 4 I fell thruogh a plate glass window and had to get a long line of sticks in my head....

years later when I got my hair cut very short, my sisters swa the same stiches (as a long black line) and jhad to tease me without mercy

ahhh siblings

SHED wrote: I once met SHUG

Is Shug contagious? Is there a cure?

I had whooping cough when I was two - I couldn't be vaccinated against it as I wasn't well when I was born - and it's left my chest slightly weak, which means I'm really prone to coughs, colds (which tend to be accompanied by coughs that last about six or seven weeks) and throat trouble. Then when I was nine, I fell on some jagged concrete while out playing and put big holes in my left elbow (still got the scar from that) and my right knee.

When I was 15, I was diagnosed with insulin resistance, where my body was producing too much insulin that it cannot break calories down. This could lead to Type II diabetes if not treated. Mom took me to a physician since she noticed that I didn't grow for two years. I had a bone density test done, and it turned out that the insulin made my bones 9 months older than my true age. After going through a strict regiment of diet and exercise, I was able to get my weight down. However, my height still remains at 5'1" (1.55 m). People assume that I'm short because I'm half-Japanese. This is not the case.

404 error wrote:

SHED wrote: I once met SHUG

Is Shug contagious? Is there a cure?

you think ebola's bad...