This topic is specially dedicated to Boatraceface - the only other passionate Smoggie nut on this forum to the best of my knowledge..... but prepare yerself for a some harsh words from the terminally wounded so to speak.... :(
So, after that fookin abysmal NON-season we've just "endured" in the Premiershit, and a nice timely and fitting swansong on which McClown can now exit with his dignity intact (as in: never ONCE starting or finishing one of his five Premier league seasons in charge with anything approaching a win - FACT!), what do you think are their realistic chances of making up for this fiasco by lifting the UEFA cup tomorra neet? Of course, as we all know, they've long put all their eggs into the one basket and effectively forgotten about the small business of trying to do well in the league, if their crummy pathetic capitulations to teams they should by rights be beating with blindfolds on week in week out (and after every single UEFA game almost without exception) are anything to go by lately....
Here's a few reasons why I really think they could well blow it....and end up casting said basket of eggs to the four winds only for the loyal troops gathered at Eindhoven to revel in the mother of all raw omelettes:
If people are expecting them to make a third "astonishing" comeback after the previous two against Basle and Steaua should they go a couple of goals down then they need to get a reality check..... two flukes was seriously pushing it but a third?? The only way they will have a chance is if they score first and keep a fucking clean sheet this time - no other way. But what's the chances of that? Remote to say the least. :(
Boro's dreadful shortcomings in the league this season may yet haunt them on this, their 64th game - that's almost double the amount most of the other teams have played so far.... They have failed to score a single goal in five of their last eight games. And have kept clean sheets in only two. Having played so many games means everybody must be well shafted by now, unless, as Boat says, they now pull out all the stops and give it 300% until they all drop dead on the pitch..... We're talking battled scarred troops here pure and simple!
McClaren is a largely mediocre manager who will now presumably be a mediocre manager for England (the initial widespread misgivings from the public are wholly understandable in my view)...after all, he's enjoyed five mediocre seasons with the Boro and getting them just one (rather small) trophy and then the following year their highest ever finish (but still not good enough to be top six), before reverting to type and delivering yet another underwhelming and predictably disappointing domestic campaign this time round. He is also the king of spin and has an annoying tendency to trot out the same cliched phrases whenever passing verdict on his charges - regardless of the result. His failure to come down tough with the players after pathetic recent defeats to the likes of Magpies, Pompey, Everton, Charlton, etc, speaks volumes about his ineffectuality - in my opinion.
Sevilla are a very tough side and I'm fairly sure that once they get that first goal in they will defend it to the death. Anyone expecting another goalfest from the Duke, JFH, et al to try and replicate the two freaky events a few weeks back may well be disappointed. If anything it appears the money is on the opponents to edge it..... Boro may have a big job getting one goal let alone three or four - Sevilla have kept 10 clean sheets or something during their run to the final....
Boro are the most unfit and injury-prone squad in the entire Premiership - they have been two seasons running now. That is the most unenviable record to have..... if one or two players get crocked during the match (which will no doubt happen as every single cup game they have played this season so far has had a player stretchered off and then ruled out for weeks afterwards - count 'em!).... This mass archilles heel may well work against them.
Skippy is really our only hope of keeping the shots out - Calamity Jones was instrumental in letting Steaua get two up during the semi final at home. Don't forget that he was also the one who let in a shocking seven against the Gunners. If Skippy cannot play or he gets crocked again, then we're doomed.
Boro aren't properly Boro unless they're being "TYPICAL BORO" - and we all know what that means. When it comes to pissing all over their own shoes or failing to rise to the occasion when it really counts, they excel on almost every front. No other team can touch them. We just have to hope and pray that "Typical Boro" doesn't rear its ugly head for the 90 minute duration then - which brings us nicely to....
Conceding late goals.... Boro have crafted this to a fine art form in the Premiership - to the effect that no less than TWELVE GAMES have been lost or drawn instead of drawn or won - and countless points squandered as a result - because of late goals being shipped. It happened against Wigan both away and home, Newcastle away, Blackburn away, Blackburn at home (CC quarters), West Ham (FA semis), Everton at home, Chelsea away, Tottenham at home, etc..... Okay they may have managed to put away a goal at the death in both of those UEFA games against Basle and Steaua, but last minute goals conceded outnumber last minute goals scored by some considerable margain, sadly...
Yakubu's embarrassing goal drought. He hit his nineteenth goal in February - and hasn't netted since. What the fuck is going on with the guy? Typically, just when there was ample hopes of a Boro player getting 20 or more for the first time in aeons he goes and blows it over a three month period.... I hope and pray that he doesn't start against Sevill and JFH and Duke do instead.......
Boro's defence is still by far the worst in the league outside of the relegation teams. With that in mind, none of our first teamers can be guaranteed to keep the opposition out and ensure a timely shut out - remember Boro have not had a clean sheet since beating Roma 1-0 at home - that was their seventh and last shut out they managed in the UEFA run. And yet when they started the group stages, they managed six on the trot - which makes you wonder why on earth they can't do it again..... I've always sworn by clean sheets as the only way they have a chance of winning. That's why most of their league games have been disgusting cos they simply couldn't defend to save their lives for most of this season.:
So......can they still do it tomorrow? They better bloody had after all this, it's the least they owe their supporters, because if they don't, then the shit will hit the fan(s) with such force that the chemical plants around the Tees will probably be spewing out vast quantities of self-pitying tears, sweat, blood, puke and piss for the next few months. It's the very least we expect of them - and McClaren - by way of making up for such a crappy and abysmal domestic season. And I'm sure the players will have it on their conscience too - and so they fucking should, especially those glory-chasing mercenaries amongst them who may well exit the Riverside doors even faster than they are already planning to do regardless, should this one golden opportunity slip through their fingers.....
God, this last year has been a fooking pain like I never could have imagined - and I have a horrible feeling that the pain could get worse.... but then again, as ever, I am desperate to be proved wrong.
