How to annoy someone you have to share an office with?

Doctor? wrote: If you wanna fuck his PC over there are better ways. Start it in bios and reset the clock to 6 months ahead/behind..everything's fine until network shares which "don't exist yet" are brought up.

Or just stop all the fans in it...it'll survive on idle overnight but when he starts to pile on those CPU cycles.....melty melty.

Floppy disc coated in powdered matchheads works a treat too for making a big cloud of smoke come out of the computer.....you have to be able to deal with the guilt of destroying a 75p FDD tho.

Doc, remind me not to piss you off!

NOOLigan wrote: dyslexic keyboard:

an a oldie but a goodie. when he's not there, prefably when there's nobody in the office.

1. take a letter opener
2. lever up a few keys from the keyboard
3. put them back in an incorrect way.

with a bit of luck he'll call tech support as somebody at my work once did.

less vicious:

move his stuff around ever so slightly, so that he can't instantly find his glasses or coffee mug.

after he's left work, turn off his monitor and put cap lock on, and watch him try and enter his password in the morning.

don't do it all at once.

there's still more:

adjusting his chair

unplugging his phone cord, so that it falls out when he tries to answer the phone.

I love that! :D

drop a laxative in his coffee! just make sure you're not around when it starts kicking in...do this often and he'll think that line of work isn't for him!

sellotape a mic just underneath the edge of his desk, connected to a hidden mindisc, and record some of his innapropriate 'conversations'. Then play them back at high volume around the office. OR, just tell him you have the recordings, and ask him to do all your office work for the next 12 months or they'll somehow end up on the boss's desk (i'm sure it's a sackable offence)

There are some truly funny ideas here. A few I will add to my list of "must do's" Hahahahaha _

Best ideas I can think up at the moment that I've done or participated in:

* Try "password securing" someone's screen saver. First I suggest changing the screen saver to "scrolling marque" and inserting your own word or phrase, "Mr. Jones (president or supervisor) eats SHlT" or something to that effect.

* Phones with handsets: The handset comes apart. Take the handset apart and put scotch tape over the mouthpeice inside. They can still be heard, but they have to talk loud to be heard. The next day take it off, and put it in the earpeice. Usually they will be yelling to the other person on the line the next day, and won't be able to hear them. When they complain about the phone, and get a replacement, do it on the next phone. After about a week you will notice the calls to be down considerably.

* Put a peice of onion or a clove of garlic inside the mouthpiece of a phone. Give it some time for it to fester and build up a strong odor. Then call them.

* When someone forgets and leaves a Word document or an email open, type a single word somewhere in the text. “f*ck” or so will do nicely. They’ll never notice and send it out.

* Take clear tape and tape the underside of the mouse. Make sure you take the sticky end of the tape and apply it to the bottom of the mouse so it locks the ball in place. The victim will most likely check the connections in the back, reinstall drivers, reboot, etc., before they realize what has happened.

* Do a "Print Screen" of the user's desktop, and then paste the image from the clipboard to a photo program, and save the image as a bitmap. Then, set the 'snapshot' of their desktop as the actual desktop wallpaper. (You'll have to hide the Windows status bar, and move all their desktop icons into a folder, which you can hide conspicuously in the corner or something.) Your co-worker will see their desktop as always, but everything on it will appear to be frozen when they try to click on it... sending them into a rebooting and virus scanning fit!

* If your co-worker gets personal e-mail all day. Go into their e-mail and change their defaults to automatically "blind carbon copy" their boss or supervisor.

* Go into MS Word or similar program on co-worker's computer, and add an entry to the AutoCorrect feature. This is a very simple prank that will send the novice user into a frenzy. Configure the AutoCorrect option to replace the word "the" with the phrase "you suck!". They will usually panick and start scanning for viruses.

LOL Proper BOFH stuff I'm impressed.

Give them a desk next to Cambo

No fuckin way, the desk next to mine is populated by a madly pretty blonde (5' 10" BTw LOL), who happens to be my best mate (or as someone called her a while ago, my "work wife"), and we're the only thing that keeps each other "sane" :D

I could say, give them MY seat, cos her ability to destroy computers is unbelievable, and while she has an arse that could cause a road accident, it farts like a rugby prop's.

Poor lass.Must be annoying for her:p

Boatraceface wrote: Poor lass.Must be annoying for her:p

LOL Think it was once, think she thought my attentions were purely focused between her legs to start with. Many years ago now tho, she knows better now :D

Which brings me not too neatly to another interesting thing you can do to wind people up. If you work anywhere where the phones are linked to the computer to trigger systems based on inbound calls......well let's just say a little hacking, and you can foul the whole thing up so that the actual call goes to one machine while another launches the system. Always swore to do a tour of the "battery hen" floor in our place the night I leave.....300 machines all randomly launching unrelated databases LOL.

clip your nails !!!!

very annoying !!!!!

mossy wrote: clip your nails !!!!

very annoying !!!!!

I think I'm the only one in my office that doesn't clip his nail! Maybe they're trying to get rid of me?

drives me nuts when people clip or file in public spaces .... should be done at home or nail shop....

no clipped nail shreds or nail dust for me !!!

YUKK........