This is a real big mother................

This was in our back garden on the weekend. My daughter has touched up the first photo but the second one is as we saw it.

OK.... FUCK THAT!

that looks like it bleeds acid and lays eggs in your stomach.

i have seen way too much sci-fi not to know to run like fuck when I see that sort of thing.

we were meant to move to australia when I was small, i think for the first time I am GLAD we didn't.

PS..WTF is it.....seems to be a spider but a coupla legs short? recoilable tentacles no doubt.

10 outa 10.

the sound of crickets used to do my head in.

we had Red back spiders in Perth, and huge lizards in the garden.

but it was them blue arsed flies...they were such a pain in the arse. perth's suburban sand pit is riddled with them. they always used to find a way thru the damn flyscreen too.

Is that a crab?!!! Jesus, i've always said i'm not frightened of spiders, but i think i'll have to have a serious re-think!

I dunno, dye it green, give it some extra tentacles, and stick it in bonded polycarbide battle armour and you have a Dalek.

PS I have only just clocked that there are in fact 4 legs at the front, making 8. DOH

PPS, have we a shot to scale it agaisnt? A small horse perhaps?

PPPS..Billy Connolly was right you ar NOT welcome in that country everything is out to kill you.

Well I guess that twatting the hell out of it with a rolled up newspaper would be good exercise! That's the most positive thing I can say about that evil looking ugly mofo.

Like the art work....maybe we should have t-shirts made up...lol

Rolled up newspaper? get real Tactical nuke more like. Shotgun at least.

thanks a lot Barnette. now nobody will want to come here. my spiders are much smaller.

NOOLigan wrote: thanks a lot Barnette. now nobody will want to come here. my spiders are much smaller.

i don;t think that matters....doesn't the funnelweb ballbiter only grow to half an inch or something?

Not sure what it is but it could be a type of huntsman. It's these little sheilas you have to watch.

Barnette wrote: Not sure what it is

OMG run run run RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Doctor? wrote:

NOOLigan wrote: thanks a lot Barnette. now nobody will want to come here. my spiders are much smaller.

i don;t think that matters....doesn't the funnelweb ballbiter only grow to half an inch or something?

too cool for funnelwebs here.

Barnette wrote: Not sure what it is but it could be a type of huntsman. It's these little sheilas you have to watch.

that's a freakin redback.

NOOLigan wrote:

Barnette wrote: Not sure what it is but it could be a type of huntsman. It's these little sheilas you have to watch.

that's a freakin redback.

Yep, that sure is a redback. We used to get a lot of them in our garage at the other house. Found one inside the house once too. I think they only get funnel webs in the Sydney area thank goodness - can't do with having two deadly ones around.

J.A.K wrote: 10 outa 10.

the sound of crickets used to do my head in.

we had Red back spiders in Perth, and huge lizards in the garden.

but it was them blue arsed flies...they were such a pain in the arse. perth's suburban sand pit is riddled with them. they always used to find a way thru the damn flyscreen too.

There's nothing like a hot summer's night listening to the crickets with a wine in hand or lulling you to sleep.

I LOVE lizards.........they are so cute.

The most dangerous thing I'm likely to encounter in NI, is the extremely rare in these waters, greater weever, which puts you in hossy with a sting, and lesser weever which just kills you. Portugese manowar jellyfish show up every few years depending on kinks in the ocean current. Apart from that we don't even have adders and grass snakes and the like.

Lizards are OK, but I hate when they look at you. Always fancied a pet Komodo Dragon, a big ass 12 footer :D

I think we got blessed with all the poisonous bastards!!

I really like the frilled neck lizard

I thought about getting an Eastern water dragon at one stage but it was going to be really expensive to set up the tank etc and I didn't have time for the general upkeep.

:) I love lizards too One of my tats is a lizard

Minx wrote: :) I love lizards too One of my tats is a lizard

OMG - I can't believe you have a lizard tat!! I want one too. I have a Major Mitchell (cocky) tat on my hip.

Barnette wrote: I think we got blessed with all the poisonous bastards!!

I really like the frilled neck lizard

I thought about getting an Eastern water dragon at one stage but it was going to be really expensive to set up the tank etc and I didn't have time for the general upkeep.

I've seen those bastards in Jurassic Park i think :D

my mate used to have a friggin enormous iguana nameed Clifford after a dragon in a bad breath advert (!!!). I was sitting there one day when a friend of ours called in. 3 mins later the door goes again and there's these 2 schoolgirls standing there looking for him ( 17 maybe, and he was 24!). Seems they'd got a crush on him and were stalking him. Anyway, the wee girls dug themselves in and generally ruined the afternoon simpering and giggling., My mate then produces Clifford, still quite cool, and sits down with him beside the girls, in the sun. "model iguana" was heard. Bout 5 mins later, me mate just says "off u go clifford" and nudges the now fully warmed beastie. Have you ever seen a "jesus christ lizard" belting over water? that's how cliff ran accross the wee girl's legs, shredding tights as he went, then crawled up one of them onto the back of the sofa. Not sure what he did next as I was too busy laughing at two rapidly exiting schoolies. End of stalk. Tho I dunno what his problem was, they were legal :D

Barnette wrote:

Minx wrote: :) I love lizards too One of my tats is a lizard

OMG - I can't believe you have a lizard tat!! I want one too. I have a Major Mitchell (cocky) tat on my hip.

My lizard tat is kinda on my hip/tummy it's about 10cms and it's tail curls round. I love it, I wanted to get it done for years and finally did when I was 29 as a birthday pressie to myself. (I used to rock climb which is where my love of lizards comes from.)

I had my cocky done when I was in my 30's. I had thought about getting a lizard sort of on my boob with it's tail going down to the cleavage but I think it would look kind of slutty and I don't really want it where it will be seen, not that I show my boobs off or anything!! I have to pluck up the courage to get another one though - they bloody hurt!!

Hey Cambo - love that iguana story. Now that would be something - a pet iguana.

Cliff didn't live very long, heated vivarium or not, I don't think he dug the climate. bright green bugger he was, about3-4 ft nose to tailtip.

Ohhh, poor Cliff. :(

At the risk of flouting convention....to return to the topic of your other worldly visitor. How big was it really and did you DO anything about it other than stand gaurd til it had gone? :D

We actually left the spider alone. It was right up the back of the garden so it wasn't hurting anyone. It's hard to say but I think it would have been about a good 12 centimetres or 5 inches from top to bottom.

I'd still have posted a guard :D

Barnette wrote: I had my cocky done when I was in my 30's. I had thought about getting a lizard sort of on my boob with it's tail going down to the cleavage but I think it would look kind of slutty and I don't really want it where it will be seen, not that I show my boobs off or anything!! I have to pluck up the courage to get another one though - they bloody hurt!!

Hey Cambo - love that iguana story. Now that would be something - a pet iguana.

They hurt most when it's near to the bone, So don't rule it out because of that. And I think I know what you mean about not having them(tats not tits. lol) on show all of the time. Nicer to just be able to show them off when you feel like it.

Minx wrote:

Barnette wrote: I had my cocky done when I was in my 30's. I had thought about getting a lizard sort of on my boob with it's tail going down to the cleavage but I think it would look kind of slutty and I don't really want it where it will be seen, not that I show my boobs off or anything!! I have to pluck up the courage to get another one though - they bloody hurt!!

Hey Cambo - love that iguana story. Now that would be something - a pet iguana.

They hurt most when it's near to the bone, So don't rule it out because of that. And I think I know what you mean about not having them(tats not tits. lol) on show all of the time. Nicer to just be able to show them off when you feel like it.

ahm ok