Questions I need answering!

These have puzzled me for ages;

1. Why do people who live on residential estates with speed bumps in the road drive Subaru Impreza's?

2. Why do American Rock stars have permed hair?

3. Why aren't Blacurrant Flavoured Lemsips called BLACKSIPS?

4. Why do people who live on Council Estates buy second hand American Cars?

5. Why does Fat Bob wear Lipstick ?

6. Why don't coathangers come with instructions?

7. What was Tonto's horse called?

8. Where does the phrase "As Fit as a Fiddle" come from?

9. Did Americans really land on the Moon?

10. How many NOOlers does it take to change a light bulb?

2. Bigger is better....didn't you know????

3. In all truth, when the Cure began touring, fans complained that they couldn't see the band members faces, so they started to put on makeup, which lead to what we have now. Now why he draws it on like a 80 yearold grandma with cerebral palsy is beyond me.

4. Cause no one has sued them over it yet

5. Scout... I thought everyone knew that?

6. James Bond ran through the mock moon landing didn't he?

7. 1 to ask why the lightbulb works; 5 to answer how they believe it works; 2 to highjack the idea and start a conversation in the middle of the task; 1 to bring in a conspericy theory on how "the manufacturers caused lightbulbs to have limited life simply to force us into a lifetime of servitude changing lightbulbs"-------so in the end, 0, as it never gets put in the socket, since one of the moderators locks the lightbulb in the shed.

Digital Mike wrote: These have puzzled me for ages;

1. Why do people who live on residential estates with speed bumps in the road drive Subaru Impreza's?

Cos a 2cv has to downshift to go up them.

2. Why do American Rock stars have permed hair?

Contsant exposure to their own pustulent music.

3. Why aren't Blacurrant Flavoured Lemsips called BLACKSIPS?

Because some (white) PC nazi would say they are racist.

4. Why do people who live on Council Estates buy second hand American Cars?

So they can flatten the speed bumps with te 25ton mass of them

5. Why does Fat Bob wear Lipstick ?

Cos he's a cock.

6. Why don't coathangers come with instructions?

In US hotels, they do (no, really they do)

7. What was Tonto's horse called?

no idea

8. Where does the phrase "As Fit as a Fiddle" come from?

I assume from the hourglass bodyshpe, I will look into this for you.

9. Did Americans really land on the Moon?

Yes, 100%, it was infintely easier to do it than fake it...have you SEEN star wars...made years later, and how laughable their version of space is.

10. How many NOOlers does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them , the spottty students notice it needs doing, and en-masse try to do it, while the footballs hooligans callthem names and throw things.

Anything else I can help you with Michael?

1. The white man (i.e., soccer mom) needs his(/her) mini-SUV to feel a satisfying ability to potentially go out into "savage" nature, even if going beyond the city/estate limits is rarely done. Speed bumps merely remind one of the rocks and tree roots and creek beds that the car COULD be used to roam over, if the desire ever struck between rounds of golf and driving the screaming sucklings around.

2. And British rock stars don't have permed hair? I can think of plenty. Probably came from over there anyway, seeing how British rock has been more obsessed with fashion than American ones.

3. Can't combine a brand name into a product name. Would confuse loyal long-time customers.

4. exoticism

5. Back in 1981-2, the band started wearing makeup during their live appearances. They smeared red lipstick on their faces so it would smear under the stage lights and make it look like their faces were bleeding. But then 80's sexual androgyny took over and they dressed all girly.

6. ask a back-alley abortionist

7. "Stupid"

8. ask a back-alley concert violinist

9. Yes, but the 9/11 attacks were faked in the studio.

10. depends on how drunk they are!

EdelBrock wrote: 1 to bring in a conspericy theory on how "the manufacturers caused lightbulbs to have limited life simply to force us into a lifetime of servitude changing lightbulbs"

That's not a conspiracy! That's simple economics. If theings were built to last indefinitely, there would be little economic activity.

To paraphrase Chris Rock, if they can make a spaceship that can go to the moon and back, why can't they make an El Dorado with a bumper that doesn't fall off?

1. To make people at the bus stop laugh.

2. To take everyone's mind of the awful droning sound....

3. Why is white wine called white wine, when it clearly isn't?!? (Write to Beechams)

4. Because they can't afford a new one; overspent on the inflatable Santa's last October.

5. He wants his lips to be the same colour as his arse.

6. It would defeat the object of Blue Peter.

7. No idea.

8. Yeah, it should be as fit as a spoon - cos he ran away with the dish.

9. No. That was the Clangers.

10. All the men together - haven't learned to multi-task.

Doctor? wrote:

Digital Mike wrote: These have puzzled me for ages;

10. How many NOOlers does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them , the spottty students notice it needs doing, and en-masse try to do it, while the footballs hooligans callthem names and throw things.

1. Cos its probably being nicked by someone from the council estate!

2.) - To get the best-looking babes in the audience, you have to go all out, baby!

Thus the endless Robert Plant-style afropuffs in the mid-Eighties

Digital Mike wrote: These have puzzled me for ages;

1. Why do people who live on residential estates with speed bumps in the road drive Subaru Impreza's?

2. Why do American Rock stars have permed hair?

3. Why aren't Blacurrant Flavoured Lemsips called BLACKSIPS?

4. Why do people who live on Council Estates buy second hand American Cars?

5. Why does Fat Bob wear Lipstick ?

6. Why don't coathangers come with instructions?

7. What was Tonto's horse called?

8. Where does the phrase "As Fit as a Fiddle" come from?

9. Did Americans really land on the Moon?

10. How many NOOlers does it take to change a light bulb?

7. Scout

Ask ROCKET...

Snorri xxx

Digital Mike wrote:

3. Why aren't Blacurrant Flavoured Lemsips called BLACKSIPS?

4. Why does Fat Bob wear Lipstick ?

5. Why don't coathangers come with instructions?

6. What was Tonto's horse called?

7. How many NOOlers does it take to change a light bulb?

3. Because they were still armwrestling over if they might be Blackcurrant or Licorice flavour. aniseed can be very expensive though. Regardless, Lem was in charge so they were called Lemsips. In the end, didn't matter what the flavour. Q. 3b. What flavour is better Blackcurrant, Black Licorice or Greenlime. Where is ROCKET M. hoping he is well. perhaps in his Docs.

4. Because he is a TWAT by your books. no.

5. Why would they. Some do asDr? Steve has noted. Clever bunch with coathangers. Pants-hangers with the clamp for the cuffs. To hang them upside dowm. There is something else..

6. Scout. Given to Tonto, and brought by Silver to replace his previous horse Dusty. Dusty was killed by Bandits or convicts or close. Excellent TV series mind.. 'You don't spit into the wind. and you don't pull the mask off that Lone Ranger.

7. Just one. Whoever gets around to it first. again a Clever Bunch. Moonlight or Streetlight is good too. Though difficult + hard to get most any conventional work done by.

2. Why do American Rock stars have permed hair? Because perms were "in" in the '80s. Then, they had long hair. And now, it's "in" to be as bald as Rocket Mick.

3. Why aren't Blacurrant Flavoured Lemsips called BLACKSIPS? Because it sounds like a poison.

4. Why does Fat Bob wear Lipstick ? Because he and Simon look good in it. You really ought to try wearing some, too.

5. Why don't coathangers come with instructions? If coathangers came with instructions, pencils and chairs would need them, too.

6. Where does the phrase "As Fit as a Fiddle" come from? Because it has alliteration.

7. Did Americans really land on the Moon? No, they didn't. Some men from Uzbekistan did it first.

8. How many NOOlers does it take to change a light bulb? It should only take one person, plus a chair, to change a light bulb.

i'M BALD?

Another Question;

Why are you bald ?

Grass doesn't grow on a busy street...

Can I ask a question?

What do you call people from Edinburgh?

Manchester - Mancunians Glasgow - Glaswegians London - Londoners Edinburgh - ???

Edinburghers???

That sounds like the name of a burger made from someone named Ed.

And what would we change about any of that?

Err, most of it, probably