Do you read when you are on the toilet? And if so, what?

Not me. I'm usually in and out within 5 minutes

fruckin right

reading Dave Grohl biog.

its on the radiator by the bog-roll holder.

I went to a party years ago and this guy had a huge pile of Viz magazaines next to the toilet. Me and my friend spent about 20 mins reading 'Top Tips' to each other (that's how good the party was!)

I mentioned this in front of my mum, who thought it was a disgusting idea. You should be in and out!

I can't go without something to read. I've actually read banknotes before now.

... the back of shampoo bottles?

... and on that note, do you look back before flushing?

God, wonder what Leather Girl would think of this thread

Diamond White wrote: I can't go without something to read.

Reading on the toilet increases the risk of developing hemorrhoids

No it does not - quite the opposite.

If you relax and get into something good to read you're less likely to push (the technical term is actually 'thrutch') too hard.

Excessive thrutching is what causes piles

And looking back should be an essential part of everyone's health monitoring regime. You can tell a lot from the appearance of your stools.

Missy Jem wrote: I went to a party years ago and this guy had a huge pile of Viz magazaines next to the toilet. Me and my friend spent about 20 mins reading 'Top Tips' to each other (that's how good the party was!)

I mentioned this in front of my mum, who thought it was a disgusting idea. You should be in and out!

never got into Viz.

this was 10 times better.

Col, do you just carry on reading once you've done, you know, the business??

Yes, i read sometimes a book (Pratchett, Tom Holt, Angels & deamons recently - its not v-good, or often the sports pages) or do a Sudoku - anything that involves switching off for a few minutes

I usually read on to a convenient place to stop, yes. Why do you ask?

Comics and magazines are the best - I normally have NME and Private Eye in the carsey at my house.

The best book for this purpose is Jeremy Clarkson's one. The chapters are just the right length

J.A.K wrote:

Missy Jem wrote: I went to a party years ago and this guy had a huge pile of Viz magazaines next to the toilet. Me and my friend spent about 20 mins reading 'Top Tips' to each other (that's how good the party was!)

I mentioned this in front of my mum, who thought it was a disgusting idea. You should be in and out!

never got into Viz.

this was 10 times better.

I've got a few issues of this as well, it was a lot ruder and viler than Viz.

Diamond White wrote: I usually read on to a convenient place to stop, yes. Why do you ask?

Just curious. You seem like the only one honest when it comes to shitting. Do you flush first and then carry on reading?

fat idle bastard was great

and the Smeggys - the lowest of the low.

classic

if its turtles head time, then i tend not to read!!

mmmmm!!!

Diamond White wrote: I usually read on to a convenient place to stop, yes. Why do you ask?

Can be a right pain when the chapters are 100 pages long

Absolutly LOVE your latest avatar - the silver/embossed 383 - its the business

Maya, obviously you can't carry on reading after you have flushed the chain because you can't flush the chain until after you've wiped your arse and you can't touch your book after you've wiped your arse because your hands are dirty.

And Conrad, the selection of the reading material is vital if you want to avoid severe discomfort.

Diamond White wrote: Maya, obviously you can't carry on reading after you have flushed the chain because you can't flush the chain until after you've wiped your arse and you can't touch your book after you've wiped your arse because your hands are dirty.

They make toilet rolls nowdays, you know. You don't have to do it with your fingers, yer dafty

This really IS a shit thread.

Plus it stinks!

(insert 'just like a thread starter' joke here!)

Foreign F**kwitt wrote: You don't have to do it with your fingers, yer dafty

Your tongue is far too long.

we had this crap thread last year

if i think i'll be there a long time i take my world atlas to read

Diamond White wrote:

Foreign F**kwitt wrote: You don't have to do it with your fingers, yer dafty

Your tongue is far too long.

Bastard!

I give up! Or in famous Cambo's words 'You can't outbollocks the bollocks master'

The longer you talk shit, the more likely you will end up talking SHIT

I've just been, but I didn't read anything.

I took my mobile and spent the time sending a text message.

NOOL gives me the shits.

depends on my 'motive' for being on the toilet. if i expect a long stay, i bring an atlas in with me.

AgentWood wrote: depends on my 'motive' for being on the toilet. if i expect a long stay, i bring an atlas in with me.

wow,ive just said that myself if i think its a quicky i just take a local street map

bansheeman wrote:

AgentWood wrote: depends on my 'motive' for being on the toilet. if i expect a long stay, i bring an atlas in with me.

wow,ive just said that myself if i think its a quicky i just take a local street map

great minds think alike.