Cricket
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You have no idea........ can you refuse to let the fookers leave when the tour is over, instead lock them in a training camp until they can work out what those five bits of wood each end are for. How does a team dominate the first six sessions and then fall apart for the next nine?
Test cricket is all about sessions. Win more sessions than the oppo and you stand a good chance of winning the match. Playing for two days isn't enough unless you knock up 500 and then have the oppo 100 all out twice.
Tabloids? Sure, not that I know anyone who actually reads them!
I fuckin held off until now not knowing the outcome. was gonna watch it tonight instead of Liverpool. avoided web, papers and telly. then some Man City blert in the office opens his big one and spills the result.
Fuck off England!!!
depthcharge wrote: Can you guys let us know some of the tabloid backpage headlines?
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Cricket never makes the back pages in the Scabloids. its usually about 4 pages from the back.
Its all about that arrogant pig Thierry Henry today!!
It made the whole paper 14 months ago! It'll be someone else's fault, Fletcher for not picking Monty, Vaughan for being unfit, Warne's for having a bent arm or something similarly sour grapes, the pitches for being tailored to Australia, you wait and see. No such thing as getting battered by a better team in the English press!
Q. What do Geraint Jones and Michael Jackson have in common?
A. They both wear gloves for no apparent reason
Q. What is the height of optimism?
A. An English batsman applying sunscreen.
Q. What does Ashley Giles put in his hands to make sure the next ball almost always takes a wicket?
A. A bat.
Q. What would Glen McGrath be if he was an Englishman?
A. An all-rounder.
Q. What advantage do Kevin Pieterson, Andrew Strauss and Geraint Jones have over the rest of their team-mates?
A. At least they can say they're not really English.
Q. What is the English version of a hat-trick?
A. Three runs in three balls.
Q. What do you call an Englishman with 100 runs against his name?
A. A bowler.
Q. What is the most proficient form of footwork displayed by English batsmen?
A. The walk back to the pavilion.
Q. Who has the easiest job in the English squad?
A. The guy who removes the red ball marks from the bats.
Q. Why is Andrew Flintoff the unluckiest English player?
A. Because he was born in England.
let the sledging begin.
Q. What does "Ashes" stand for?
A. Another Sad Horrific English Series.
Q. What's the English version of LBW?
A. Lost, Beaten, Walloped.
Q. Who spends the most time on the crease of anyone in the English team?
A. The person who ironed the cricket whites.
Ah the humble Aussie.
Most of those gags did the rounds before the last Ashes' series, Ron. Be careful what you wish for...
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depthcharge wrote: Ah the humble Aussie.
Most of those gags did the rounds before the last Ashes' series, Ron. Be careful what you wish for...
:\pimp3:
I only just got that email. hey it is only a bit of humour.
Bit quiet on here this morning!
Australia 244 all out (Hussey 74*, Panesar 5-92 Harmison 4-48)
Even the world's best spinner Warney only has a best of 4for at the WACA.
Tim wrote: Bit quiet on here this morning!
Australia 244 all out (Hussey 74*, Panesar 5-92 Harmison 4-48)
Even the world's best spinner Warney only has a best of 4for at the WACA.
yeah the Aussies on here seem to have fallen a bit silent.
btw Tim, dont forget Oz elected to bat frst too
Elegia wrote: were stil here, just waiting for the Day 2 collapse of England before we rear our heads :)
A quick glance up at my kitchen clock,tells me that you've only got 8 hours to wait.
Prediction.All out for about 150
Elegia wrote: were stil here, just waiting for the Day 2 collapse of England before we rear our heads :)
160 I reckon, depends if the Doctor turns up and takes Lee past the 100mph mark.
Interesting day.
Don't assume that there should be two low innings' totals to follow. There have been two draws here in recent years (NZ and SA I think) where the pitch got progressively easier to bat on and teams in last have ground out draws.
I'm going to check out the action tomorrow, sounds like it's gonna be a boiler.
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How good was that? Just because it was the enemy didn't mean it couldn't be fantastic cricket - glad I wasn't bowling to Gilly!
Barnette wrote: Looks like the Poms are stuffed - 5/262.
it should be over halfway tomorrow.
I took my step dad-in law to this on saturday but was too fcuking hot and we only managed to stay until the tea break. Barmy Army were dissa'ponting'ly quiet.
NOOLigan wrote:
Barnette wrote: Looks like the Poms are stuffed - 5/262.
it should be over halfway tomorrow.
Naaa...
Pieterson/Flintoff double century partnership and we are there.
All over, red rover!
Ashes coming home. The dust hardly settled.
Look forward to reading all the comments from everyone who contributed so joyously to the 2005 Ashes thread.
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Australia has regained the Ashes in style after beating England by 206 runs in the third Test at the WACA Ground.
